A Reality's Difference
by GLaDOS-01
Summary: I guess sometimes things happen and you can't control them... I wonder what the hell happened to me. Then again, who knew I'd be taken to a whole new universe, right? Will she manage to survive, if given a second chance? Rated M for just in case.
1. Something Witty To Say

**A/N: I have decided to rewrite this story and improve upon its raw and unfortunate flaws. Please be patient with me as I do my best to fix this fic and give it some more life. In effect old responses to reviews will be lost and some scenes will change, grow longer, shorter, or be dropped completely.**

**I'll be glad to take any advice or opinions in PM messages. Thank you.**

"That's not my problem!" I argued, already tired of dealing with one of my best friends; Maidya Flowers. Yes, that really is her name. At my words however she just made an 'are you serious' face and threw her arms into the air, showing her frustration.

"Then why won't you say yes?!" she yelled back, her patience wearing thin as well. I clenched my teeth to keep myself from biting her head off before answering. She was one of the best friends you ever ask for but as the popular saying went, 'nobody's perfect'.

"Because I don't want to go!" I shot back heatedly, only getting an exasperated expression in return. She widened her eyes, another sign of her annoyance, and gestured to me with an upturned palm.

"But you said you didn't care five minutes ago!" she hissed, starting to lose it.

I sighed forcibly and bent my elbows, upturning both of my palms. "I said I wouldn't mind! And that was _before_ you told me you were bringing makeup into the equation!" I argued.

She threw her hands up again and groaned loudly. She never was very good at keeping a low profile. At least we were at school in Ms. Demsko's room; she never minded our arguments much. Also, since I was her bodyguard, she allowed me some extra privileges.

"You have to wear makeup if you're going to a fancy restaurant! _For my birthday!_" she stressed, poking her finger at me and getting in my face. I frowned, trying to think up a way to get out of it. Unfortunately she usually got her way with me.

I sighed once more and leaned against the wall inches from my back. She was also very good at cornering me. "Who's going?" I asked dejectedly, caving in reluctantly. I might as well have done this for her since it was her birthday.

She squealed with happiness and threw her arms around me. She then proceeded to dance around the classroom with me getting dragged along in her tight embrace. She really loved getting in my space, too.

"Okay." She said once she calmed down enough to speak coherently. "Joya, Autumn, Jennifer, Tori and Sarah are all going, including you." She finished, listing them all off. They were our 'main' friends and the only ones available for the day we were going so I wasn't surprised over the list.

"Where are we going again?" I asked in clear disinterest, trying to annoy her a bit. She sighed exaggeratedly and rolled her eyes theatrically before looking at me again.

"Chinese!" she stated it as if it were the name of an actual restaurant.

I hid a smirk at her tone and crossed my arms, standing matter-of-factly. "You mean Hunan?" I corrected, raising a brow. She sighed again before giving up.

"Whatever, it's the same place!" she exclaimed, knowing all-to-well I was right. I chose not to say anything and instead sat down in the spare computer chair Demsko had in her room.

"Fine, whatever." I muttered dismissively, waving my hand at her. "It's your birthday."

…

"But I-"I was cut off as they loomed over me, tools in hand. I was grabbed and forced to the floor as one of the assailants settled on top of me, straddling my hips. I tried to squirm but two others gripped my arms, holding them down with their knees. A third knelt down and held my head still so I couldn't mess up what they were going to do to me.

"You're going to do this, and you're going to like it." The one straddling me muttered lowly, bending down to regard me. I gritted my teeth and tried to shake my head, only to fail thanks to the firm grip on my head.

"This is so harassment…" I muttered weakly, their tools descending towards my eyes. A few chuckled, but it wouldn't stop them.

They then began the torture.

…

"You're gorgeous! Well, even more than usual, but still…!" Autumn blushed, staring at me intently as the others were. They had put the makeup on me and all and five minutes of torture later, they finished. After that they stripped me down (also against my will), making me wear my fancy, expensive, never-worn, dress as well. I never liked showing so much skin.

"Whatever. Can we go now?" I asked, heading for the door. The others trailed excitedly behind me and I could feel their stares on my ass as we walked. I never really got used to getting checked out, even if they were my best friends. I bid my mom goodbye and we all left my house, getting into Joya's dad's car to get going.

We talked and made fun of each other the entire way to Hunan. When Joya's dad dropped us off and we said goodbye and all, he left. I never thought it was such a good idea to leave several teenage girls alone but really I was just worried about my friends. Bad things happened all too often where we lived, being so close to D.C., so it wouldn't be much of a surprise if we were attacked. In fact I'd be confused if we didn't get jumped.

After sitting at our appointed booth we started looking through the menu.

After we ate it was planned for us to head to the mall close-by and catch a movie then hang out and such. Once we were done with the mall we were going to head back home. Only problem was, we'd have to walk to the mall and by then it would be around nine at night. By the time we left the mall it would be at least eleven; obviously, that meant it would be dark out. Oh yeah and instead of getting picked up we'd all have to take the metro home. The last time we did that I got a lap dance (very awkward) and we met a large group of high gang members- also on ecstasy.

I didn't have a good time.

…

Alright so we got to the theatre without getting mugged; that was good. After the movie we all hung out, got hit on repeatedly (-well Flowers and Joya did but the rest of us were left alone), ran around and such. It was around eleven now so we started for the exit and made our way to the metro. My friends had quickly gotten loopy from all of the excitement of the day so I was the only really sane one in the group currently. We boarded the metro and took seats, Flowers on my right, Autumn on my left.

Unfortunately my paranoia paid off; I was able to notice two men sitting in a seat across from me, seemingly drunk. Both were built pretty well and were dressed fairly well but their clothing was mussed up and wrinkled, telling me they had most likely had a bad day. I knew they could be a problem so I kept my eyes on them the entire ride. Everyone was so tired I wouldn't have found it surprising they wouldn't be able to notice anything.

We got off of the metro once we got to our stop but I had to carry Autumn since she was already half-asleep. I kept close watch on the men with my peripheral vision, knowing they were following us. It wasn't long before our group had to go through a fairly deserted hallway so I asked Tori to help Autumn along to be ready just in case.

Only a few seconds later I heard a shot.

I whipped around to see both men holding .45 caliber pistols, their gazes trained on our group. None of my friends got hurt so I knew whoever shot had missed. Without thinking- which was quite the rare and uncomfortable experience for me-, I placed myself in front of the group to force their aim to go to me.

"What the hell do you want?" I demanded with a bit of an attitude, doing my best to make my voice threatening and firm. Both drunken assholes twitched at the tone of voice and focused on me; good.

"Your money- give it to us!" one demanded, not so pleased with my clear defiance. I purposefully sneered at them, ignoring my body's Fight-or-flight reflex even as adrenalin overpowered my bloodstream and caused the shakes in a matter of seconds. I heard my friends behind me shift a little and I could tell they were scared.

My father once told me that our family looked after our friends and never let fear get the better of us. Loyalty and honesty was a value, he said. Running away was dishonorable and disloyal. I wasn't going to let my friends get hurt; not if I could help it.

"No." I stated simply, keeping still while my body vibrated with the need to move- do _something_. They took a step forward and one came over to press his gun under my chin, sneering. His breath reeked of alcohol, making my nose burn (I had a strong sense of smell and right now I wished I didn't).

"Give me your money little girl." He hissed, shoving the gun hard into my chin. _Don't let fear get the better of you. Loyalty and honor, loyalty and honor, loyalty and honor!_

I forced a defiant smirk and balled my hands into fists."I recommend you leave before something bad happens." I replied almost smugly, hissing just as he did.

It seemed to take him a moment before he registered my declining his command. Once he did realize what I'd said he bared his teeth and slammed the gun into my face, splitting the cheek. I felt blood seep down and the pain burned with a new bruise but I kept still, only my head snapping to the side.

Just as he went to return his gun to my chin I grabbed his wrist and shoulder and spun him around, making him drop the weapon. He whimpered as I pushed his arm up so hard it almost dislocated but after a few seconds I let go, dropping him to the ground. I bent down quickly to grab his gun and as he tried to take it from me I hit him in the head to knock him out. I cringed at the heavy blow and felt a little guilty for smashing his head like that but I steeled my resolve.

_Loyalty and honor._

I stood then and regarded the other drunken asshole. My friends were trying to subtly pull me away but I kept still. Unfortunately once the man realized his partner was out he growled and pulled the trigger. Instantly I felt a hard punch in my chest, fire racing along it and pain exploding to burn in my body.

It was too bad he didn't miss.

I fell to my knees and as I saw him ready to shoot me again I raised my own (questionably acquired) gun and shot him- straight through the head. I tried not to get sick at the realization I had just killed someone, and managed to, but dropped the gun in disgust instead. To think I was the first out of me and my brothers to kill. I wasn't even the one trying to get into the military either.

My friends rushed to my side as I fell to the ground, blood already all over my clothes and seeping to the ground. I felt it gushing out and realized the bullet must've hit something important since I found it hard to breathe with the pressure in my chest.

Great. First time I get shot and it has to be the fucking lung that gets punctured. Just my fragging luck. You know how much this hurts? No wonder people don't like being shot at. Shit, this hurts!

My hearing grew a little muffled as my inner rant went on and I could make out someone calling for an ambulance over a phone.

…

I had managed to stay awake until the EMTs got to us and proceeded to put me into a stretcher and such. My friends ran along with the two men that carried me along the corridors, rushing me outside. Flowers got into the ambulance with me (thanks to her stubbornness no doubt) while the others jumped into the dad's car to follow along. It wasn't long before we made it to the hospital; Flowers did well in lecturing me enough to distract me from my wounds a little while the professionals worked.

They rushed me into the ER and I saw doctors waiting in the room. They quickly transferred me onto the operating table and began working on me. I'd noticed my blood flow hadn't stopped and breathing was becoming a harder task. The pressure on and in my chest was increasing too quickly for my tastes.

"She has a punctured lung and several fractures!" a nurse called to the others, examining me. I saw the worry in her eyes and knew I didn't have long.

"Get me an anesthesia!" one called, everyone rushing around the room, grabbing tools, ripping my shirt open.

"We can't sedate her it could cause problems!" another answered. I smirked to myself at the rushed response and managed an involuntary chuckle. A nurse rushed up to me and smoothed my hair out, apparently trying to distract me from what was going on. I raised an almost limp hand and gripped hers, trying to work through the pain and ignore the probing. Last time I was bare chest in front of somebody was when my mom was still teaching me how to shampoo my hair.

"It's okay; you're going to be okay. Just breathe alright?" she repeated similar phrases throughout, never leaving my side. I shook my head and smiled slightly, blood streaming out of my mouth now.

"T-tell every-one I-I-"she shushed me, continuously smoothing my hair and holding my hand firmly.

"You're going to be fine-"

"No I'm not!" I argued. I knew for a fact I wasn't going to see another sunrise. I knew for a fact I wouldn't be alive to morning. "Tell t-them…!" she hesitated for a moment, but nodded quickly to show she was listening.  
>"I-I'm so-orry I-I'm so re-reckless…" I managed through my convulsing throat, my body steadily growing colder. I couldn't get my mouth to work right and my chest was mostly numb but I could still feel the painful pressure. The nurse gave me a sympathetic look but just kept trying to soothe me.<p>

I noticed everyone slowed down around me, seemingly blurred. I glanced about slowly and saw how everyone looked like they were walking under water. A nurse called something out but it didn't hit my ears until a second later.

"We're losing her!" the words hit me harder than I'd expected, but I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I thought of my friends; none of them got hurt. I smiled to myself and let my hand go limp in the nurse's hand. I could feel myself slipping away and I couldn't help but find it uplifting somehow…

I had stuck to my values.

As everything slowed even more I looked over to the doctor who came to stand over me and let out a shaky breath. I was ready to embrace death if I had to. Given my injuries I wasn't too shocked to find out I wouldn't be walking away so easily.

"It's too bad I can't think of something witty to say…" I whispered quietly, my voice weak and far away. I didn't know if I had thought it or if I'd said it but either way it was true. The heroes always got speeches before they passed. But then, I'm not a hero.

Next thing I knew, darkness greeted me.

**A/N: Hope it's better so far. **


	2. Replaced And Taken Away

**Disclaimer: I just have me and my OCs, 'kay?**

**A/N: Okay, let's see… **

**Stilphyell: Aw, I'm not**_** that**_** great, but thanks, I'll do my best! That part was so embarrassing, too!**

**Hopelessly Blue: I have to agree with you entirely! I can't stand wearing that stuff…**

**Oh, right, I was shot, wasn't I? Well then, let's continue, shall we?**

My eyes slipped open slowly as consciousness returned to me. I found myself to be floating in the air, over an occupied hospital bed. I looked down and saw all of my friends who had been with me that night and my 'parents' (I was adopted) and some other parents, all sitting around the room. I moved my gaze to the bed and saw myself, seemingly alive.

My face was calm and my skin was colored normally. Seconds after I realized this, my eyes slowly slid open and scanned the room, taking in everyone's down turned faces. They all looked like they were praying or something.

"Why the long faces?" I asked, smirking a bit as everyone jumped and immediately started the routine scolding and such of an injured person. I studied myself carefully and saw that she was exactly like I was in her behavior and movements; even her words were the same. I watched for a while and began to wonder what I was supposed to do if I was no longer in my body, apparently replaced by a clone.

A few seconds after I began to ponder such thoughts, I suddenly found myself staring at a winged being. She was beautiful and positively ethereal in every sense of the word. I regarded her slightly passively, but I was definitely keeping myself from staring. She kind of glowed.  
>She gave me a sense of serenity and safety; something I couldn't say I'd ever really felt before. She regarded me and smiled, an all-new wave of ease flooded me. I felt as if she were there to guide me somewhere, but I wasn't sure where.<p>

"Are you at ease?" she asked, her voice smooth and serene. I furrowed my brows slightly and looked back down to those below me.

"If I can rest, yet still protect those I care for… then yeah, I'd say so." I answered, gesturing to the me below myself when I said I could still protect them. She smiled as if relieved, but I really couldn't tell for sure.

"I am afraid you will be unable to rest at this time, young one." She responded, looking slightly sympathetic, if anything. I was a little confused, but I wasn't sure what she meant by what she said. I looked back at her and gave a confused look, not sure what to think.

"Where are we going, then?" I asked, smiling at the thought of adventure. She took my hand and began to fly upward, taking me somewhere.

The next thing I knew, we were in some kind of plain. It was a place that made me feel at rest; completely aware. I felt as if I sensed… everything. It's hard to explain, but the closest I could come, is feeling like I was one with the Force; as cheesy as that may sound. I looked to the angel, waiting for whatever to happen.

"You must return to your birthplace; your true home." She smiled once again as if proud of me for some reason. I still had no idea what she was talking about, but before I could say anything or react in any way, darkness overtook me once more.

…

"Commander, I find this ruin fascinating!" Liara exclaimed, staring in wonder at the giant, seemingly abandoned, ruin in front of the ground team. Shepard smirked at the pure excitement in the young asari's expression and began to lead the way into the ruin.  
>Just as she got to the entrance though, she felt a strong, territorial presence overtake her; it was as if it regarded her as a trespasser. She steeled herself and took a step across the threshold. The instant her foot hit the ground, a loud, aggressive roar echoed throughout the ruin, sending chills down her spine. It felt as if the roar was far away though; like it was an echo of something that happened in another time. Shepard never really liked ethereal specters and spirits, that was for sure.<p>

"Commander; I can't scan this- anything." Garrus stated in annoyance, shutting down his Omni-tool. She shrugged, unable to be shocked by such news; this ruin was so old, it had sunken into the ground by at least a few feet. The real kicker was the fact that this enormous structure was nothing like what the Protheans built- even it's material was completely unknown.

"This place is creepy." Ashley's voice echoed through the countless corridors and unyielding walls, the effect only accenting the statement. Shepard knew something… tangible was here; a presence or, as their voices, echoes of a long forgotten time. Her philosophical side made her wonder what could've been here so long ago; what they looked like, what they sounded like. What was their culture?

"I feel it, Shepard. This place has a dark story." Wrex's voice rumbled, his own echoing voice merciless in the quiet ways. It was louder than normal echoes should've been, but then again, he was a Krogan.

"What do you mean, Wrex?" she asked, still in the lead, looking everywhere for what could be there.

"I can sense darkness here; it's a forbidden place. This was a prison." He explained, sounding completely convinced. His confidence in the notion was enough for Shepard to consider the idea, but she wasn't sure what to make of it. The way this place was built, it seemed as if it were made specifically for sturdiness; there were no signs of degrading or age- it just looked abandoned. But the ruin itself was certainly older than anything in existence; that had been artificially made, of course.

"How the hell can you _sense_ something?" Ashley wondered, obviously skeptical of the battle master. He growled in annoyance, but answered calmly enough.

"Because my instincts are stronger than yours, _human_." He retorted, displeased with her ignorance. There wasn't any response, so Shepard figured it wasn't a problem.

…

After literally hours of exploring the ruins and getting perfectly lost, the group found themselves in the center of the structure. It was a humungous room, the walls glowed along with the floor, there were symbols everywhere and several pillars in the very middle of the cavernous room. They reached to the ceiling, a strange glow emanating throughout the entire room; it seemed as if the strange presence was focused in on this place. A guard, perhaps.

Shepard made her way as the rest of the ground team fanned out behind her, covering the ground and scanning everywhere for the possible threat. Once at the pillars, Shepard noticed they were situated around a platform hovering about a foot from the ground, also glowing. She stepped slowly onto the platform and noticed it didn't move.  
>Shepard approached the main pillar, her gaze trained on it; it was the largest and most intimidating of the structures. She felt drawn to it as if in a trance, and snapped herself out of it, only to get pulled right back in. There was something about the pillar that seemed to call to her; dare her into getting closer. She did so, and soon, she was face to face with it.<p>

"What is this…?" she muttered, touching her hand lightly to the surface of the pillar. Instantly, the pillar started to hum, lighting up as if coming alive. Shepard tried to remove her hand, but found herself unable to; her body wouldn't respond to her mind's screaming to get away.

Suddenly, the pillar flashed brightly and the symbols on the walls- even the ethereal glow slid into the pillar. It absorbed everything as a collective heartbeat thundered throughout the structure, life seemingly existent in the ruin. Shepard barely registered the others running to try and help, but it was apparent there was a shield surrounding the platform.

Just as the last of the glowing symbols seeped into the pillar, the heartbeat slowed and the glowing focused in on the inside of the pillar. Shepard's hand was released and she stumbled backward as the front of the thing faded. As it faded completely away, Shepard could see a young woman inside of it! Just then, everything stopped- even the presence seemed to disappear.

Shepard slowly approached the seemingly sleeping being with caution, unsure as to what it truly was. Sure, she looked human, but there were differences. Her hair was crimson red, she had strange armor that was unlike anything she'd seen, and she was found in a millennial old ruin. The young woman's face wasn't quite one of peace, but it lacked the aggressiveness expected of what could very well be a prisoner. She had very sharp, distinctive features; a seemingly humorless being.

Shepard reached out and stroked the woman's cheek as if to make sure she wasn't a hallucination. The only problem was, as soon as her fingers met the woman's skin, a jolt of electricity ran through her body. Shepard pulled back and tried again, this time meeting little effect to her body. Seemingly sensing Shepard's intent, the pillar's front completely faded to show the rest of the being's body, leaving her to fall into Shepard's stable grip.

"She's the prisoner, Shepard!" Wrex growled, seemingly cautious of the young woman. Shepard had a feeling he was right, but said nothing as she picked the girl up and began to lead the way back outside.

**A/N: Hm. I felt like that could've been better… Oh, well, I'll do my best to continue in a way suitable to the awesome characters of ME, if you promise to review, 'kay? Well, I won't force you, it's not like I could, but reviews or PMs are deeply appreciated. ;) **


	3. Revelations And Fears

**Disclaimer: I own only my OC(s), so don't sue me.**

**Stilphyell: Thanks for that, you made my day. Anyway, I'm sure you'll do great with your story. ; )**

**Hopelessly Blue: I do tend to be a tad of a non-conformist, you know? Anyway, there's definitely going to be later pairings, so there's no need to worry on that front! ;)**

**Liege Lord: Ooh, you're a smart one! I can't confirm nor deny your theory's speculations though, so you'll just have to find out! ;) **

**Jayniebear: Why, thank you. **

**A/N: I feel like I'm going to be moving a little quickly for now to get things started, so don't worry about getting everything down, okay? I really just need to get through the intros and such to get things going…**

I awoke slowly again and felt my body to be… different. I felt stronger, smarter, and more powerful than any human could ever feel. It was odd, seeing as how I found myself having memories of what my 'real' home used to be. It was mostly just blurs and indescribable voices, but I remember a few things very clearly. For one, my… real... name was Raega'Darenth Lixeria Braceros. Long-winded and weird, I know, but I felt as if it was right; I could even remember voices calling that name as if to scold me.

I slowly opened my eyes to take in the dark bluish room and older woman standing at the foot of my bed, looking at what appeared to be a datapad. She looked up as if sensing my musing and seemed to give off a vibe of fear mixed with curiosity; I could smell it. It was weird, yet helpful, if you thought about it long enough. She slowly came to stand at my side and I went to sit up, but she put a hand on my chest, stopping me.

"Don't. You'll only aggravate the wound." She said. I had little idea of what she was talking about, and I felt fine, so I brushed her hand away as if it were a fly and sat up. I looked down and studied the familiar armor I was wearing and took in some dried blood on my chest along with the numerous burns and holes on the armor itself. I remembered the bullet wound I had had as I brushed the blood away to see nothing; not even a scar. I thought it was pretty cool, but the older woman beside of me gasped and rushed out of the room.

I was a bit confused, but situated myself so my legs were hanging over the edge of the bed. I didn't really feel like getting up at the moment, and since I wasn't getting shot at, I scanned the room once more to see that it looked like a larger version of the one from Mass Effect. I figured it was future-like, so I couldn't help but wonder where that angel brought me.

I began to stare at my armor, taking in the way it seemed to move as my body did; I felt like it was made specifically for me. It was really comfortable too, so I could imagine sleeping in it without getting sore or something to that effect. A minute or two later, a bunch of people ran in, their faces screaming panic or something similar to it. I could smell each individual's scent and emotion easily and it made me wonder if I was one of those monsters that seemed to always be able to do stuff like that; not that I really would've cared much if it were true.

The group had weapons and all ran to the other side of the bed across from me, training their guns on me. The older woman rushed over to me then, accompanied by another, younger and definitely beautiful woman. She looked like the blonde Shepard that had been a choice for the ME3 voting thing to find out which one would be the default Shepard. Well, she had green eyes and the scar through her eyebrow, but it was close.  
>I found myself glaring at those with their weapons trained on me, my muscles tensing and ready to react at the slightest sign of hostile intent. As if realizing what they were doing was a bad idea, the young woman with the old lady snapped at them to stand down. As the soldiers filed out, I caught sight of a Krogan outside.<br>I realized where and when I really was and tamped down the flood of several emotions rising in me as I studied Shepard and Chakwas; I'd just recognized her. I had a brief thought of messing with them, but decided against it as I saw the look Shepard was giving me; it said 'calm down' or something to that effect, so I simply narrowed my eyes at them.

"Who are you?" Shepard asked, obviously (Thanks to my super nose) concerned of what I may do. To what, I wasn't sure, but I didn't really care much.

"Raega'Darenth Lixeria Braceros." I answered, my voice more threatening than I'd meant it to be. I had strange accent too... Both flinched slightly, and then donned confused expressions.

"What language is that? I don't know what she said." Shepard asked Chakwas, only getting a shrug in return. I found it extremely irritating for some reason, so I involuntarily let out a growl, my nose scrunching up and my brows lowering to give me a pissed expression. Both gazes snapped back to me and I saw Shepard ready to reach for her weapon.

"My name." I sighed, annoyed by their reactions. I found myself in possession of a temper, so I would have to tamp it down as I used to back on Earth.  
>"That is my name, Shepard." I spoke less threateningly this time, but my tone was clearly annoyed. She blushed in embarrassment and relaxed her stance a bit, lowering her arm. Chakwas went to a machine above the bed and began reading information on it.<p>

"It's a cool name…" she responded, trying to compliment me to seem like my friend. She still reeked of caution and such, so I wasn't fooled.

"Don't be my friend." I hadn't meant for such bite to come from my voice and instantly regretted it as I saw her eyes flash what looked like regret. I pressed my forefinger and thumb to my forehead, taking a forced breath to calm down. I could be a real ass when I had no idea what the fuck was going on…

"How do you know who I am?" she asked, curiosity and caution in her voice. I lowered my hand and opened my eyes to regard her. I felt guilty already as I looked upon her unsafe eyes; she didn't feel comfortable with me.

"Precognition is a talent of mine." I said quietly, guilty at lying to her. She seemed to relax slightly at my calmer tone as the doctor left.

"What were you doing in that ruin?" she asked. Suddenly, memories of getting taken there, getting holed up in a pillar for survival flashed through my mind. The pain I'd felt around that time had been unbearable and it was my last memory of my apparent 'home'. Shepard seemed to notice my sudden withdrawal and pained expression, seeing as how she uncertainly placed a hand on my shoulder. I tensed at the contact and frowned slightly, but said nothing.

"I was taken there… but I can't remember why, exactly…" I almost whispered, images of death and destruction flashing in my mind. I didn't remember what happened, but I knew it had been some terrible disaster. Shepard withdrew her hand and pulled herself up onto the bed across from me.

"You don't recall anything? Nothing to tell you what happened…?" she asked. I clenched my jaw and regarded her a bit coldly. I wasn't one for constant questions and since my nerves were raised, I found it difficult to keep from screaming.

"It doesn't concern you. Why did you take me- bring me here?" I turned a question on her and she seemed a little annoyed by my blatant disregard for her supposed authority.

"I took it upon myself to find who you are because I and my team found you in a ruin we'd just discovered to be unknown." She wasn't really the best of liars, but then again, I could tell.

"Lying gets you no trust, Shepard." I stated, noting the way she seemed to deflate slightly. "I figure you were just curious and couldn't help yourself. Not that I really care." I added, evidently hitting the nail on the head. She seemed surprised that I didn't care, but said nothing of it.

"If you have precognition, would you be willing to help me?" she asked, obviously getting her hopes up a bit. I smirked a bit and raised an eyebrow slightly as I thought of everything that could've happened so far. I wasn't sure it would actually be a good idea to tag along, but where else would I go? I barely even knew where I was, let alone how to survive in an alien reality.

"If it's about Saren and such, then yeah, I _could _help you." I said, earning an intrigued look from the Commander.

"_Will_ you help me?" she asked. I took a breath and furrowed my brows as if thinking on it. Really, I wanted to help her, but if anything was different from the game, I may not be able to change much.

"It depends on you, Shepard; do you really think I wouldn't betray you the first chance I get and run?" I asked, curious as to what she would say.  
>"After all, I could have been a criminal, for all you know..." I said, raising an eye brow. Really, I couldn't remember anything specific, but what I did recall wasn't exactly full of daisies. She seemed to think it over again and came to a conclusion pretty quickly.<p>

"I doubt you would; if you were planning such a thing, I don't think you'd say that." She said, seemingly more relaxed now. I bowed my head in acknowledgement and regarded her closely before standing.

"I'll help you." I stated calmly, not wanting her to think I was going to be her friend. I knew she would die soon and I didn't want to grow attached in any way.

If I got attached, I would save her.

"Anything I should know about you?" she asked, smiling as if to say 'welcome to the crew'.

"I only listen to those I 'approve' of, as egotistical as that may sound." The comment got a small laugh from her and I simply regarded her, unable to find what was funny. She sobered up after seeing my expression and nodded in understanding.  
>"I've been betrayed too many times to give my trust willingly, Shepard." As I finished, she seemed sympathetic a tad as she led the way out of the med-bay. I wasn't sure why, but to me, Shepard seemed more… human. She still carried herself like a soldier and a Commander, of course, but… Maybe it was just me.<p>

I felt really strange and uncomfortable, being here and surrounded by things that shouldn't have existed. Unfortunately, when I was uncomfortable or confused, I could get to be a real jackass. I'd read it was some defensive mechanism, but that was a bad excuse, right?

Everyone had been waiting right outside the door, so it was effectively blocked. I stood beside of Shepard with a cold and calculating expression, easily gaining passage as the group parted upon noticing I may kill them if I wanted to. I wasn't violent or crazy enough to actually consider doing such a thing, though…

Before we could go anywhere, Wrex walked up and bored his gaze into mine. I stared straight back, trying not to feel any fear or intimidation from the warlord; I knew he was simply testing me. Even so, his size and primal aura made it a challenge for me; he was as scary as he was badass.

After a few moments of silence, he grunted as if satisfied and lumbered away. After our shocking (To everyone else) exchange, Shepard took me to the elevator.

It was a little awkward and neither of us said anything. The atmosphere was a little pressing as well, since I was sort of in a brooding mood, trying to remember something- anything solid. Then again, I'd just woken up, so how well do you think I was doing? Exactly.

Once the door to the elevator opened, she took me to a room with a bed and a desk with some chairs and a bathroom, a closet beside of it. I'd found it odd that the Normandy had a fourth deck, but dismissed it as I walked in, studying my new room. I was a tad surprised since it seemed to be a room for an officer or something, but said nothing of the topic since I was still mostly preoccupied by my now pounding headache from trying to recall everything so quickly.

"We'll be heading to Feros soon, so it'll take about three days to get there from here." She said, standing in the doorway as if not wanting to come in. I looked back at her and nodded in understanding.

"Before you try to say my name, you can call me Raegas." I said, getting a relieved nod from her. She bid me goodbye and left me to my thoughts.

I was having a hard time even accepting I was actually in a game's reality, let alone finding out I was from it. This was all so strange and disconcerting- did I ever really exist in what I thought was my reality? Was that clone actually the 'real' girl meant to be there, instead of me? Where did I belong, if not there? I had so many questions, and so few answers, I found myself getting frustrated at the helplessness I felt. And where the hell did these _memories_ come from?

How the hell could any of this be true? I didn't know what to think or believe anymore…

**A/N: So yeah, this was a jump-start beginning, but I needed to get a basis out for future stuff. Anyway, I still think that could've gone better; what the hell am I doing, getting all hopeless?  
>Either way, send me reviews or PMs; tell me what you think!<strong>


	4. Remembering And Forgetting

**Disclaimer: Hey, guess what? I just own my OCs! Snap! (I know, it's all a big f***ing shocker, ain't it?)**

**Liege Lord: I'm happy and relieved you liked my last chapter. Anyway, you've got a good thing going there, and it landed near some of my plans, just so you know. Of course, things may change, you know how stories are: they tend to write themselves, in a way.**

**Hopelessly Blue: You're the best, man! Thanks for your review, it really made my day. ;) And yeah, I know Shepard may be… well, Shepard… but that doesn't mean she isn't a 'regular' person, you know? Giving trust to a stranger, even if that stranger is Commander Shepard, is extremely difficult.**

**Stilphyell: Oh, don't worry, Raegas' people have their own history and culture and such; I've really thought this out, you know?**

**And, as I know many of you may be wondering: No. She isn't Prothean. And no, that isn't a spoiler.**

**A/N: Okay, I've got good news, and I've got bad news. Let's start with the bad news; just kidding! I only have good news right now! And, by the way, it's that this chapter is longer than the others! Yay! Oh, and it has a bit of action, as well, for all you trigger-happy knuckleheads. ;)**

The next day I explored the fourth deck. It had a gym, restrooms/showers, extra quarters, a large room with a bunch of crates (supplies, I guess) and a customization chamber. There were tools everywhere and plenty of materials for me to build weapons or whatever.  
>I knew how to build and such because I had the knowledge in my mind already; I could build anything I wanted if I had the right stuff. I decided I would hang out there most of the time to try to invent something; after all, my knowledge was from millennia ago when my species was more advanced than these 'new' races. It was unfortunate the materials my people used were located in the cores of certain planet types, meaning the materials used for 'modern' things wouldn't match the quality- at all.<p>

Oddly enough, when I'd woken up, I realized I'd recalled a couple things about where I was from, but as if in consequence, I forgot a few things of my life back on Earth. It made me wonder if, eventually, I'd forget everything of that past life altogether. Maybe it was for the best… But again, would I want to remember?

I sat in front of the main workbench and set a few samples of the materials down. I figured I might as well see if I'd be able to improve them in some way, maybe refine and fuse them. Of course, there was no way of knowing what would happen if I did such a thing, but it was better than just sitting around.  
>I began my experimentation on each of them individually to get a feel for what they would react with. The first three went well and showed possible potential, but once I got to the fourth, I found myself reminded of a time I had first encountered the substance called Eezo.<p>

"_Raegas, where are we going?" Vetrali huffed, trying to catch up to me. I turned to her and smiled, excited at the prospect of adventure._

"_I want to see what the site found! We've found another large deposit!" I exclaimed, taking her hand and pulling her along. She laughed a bit, but quickly squashed it down._

"_It is not a place quite appropriate for-"I cut her off with a bark of laughter._

"_For what? Vetrali, I am weary of such treatment just because of whose child I am." I sighed, finally reaching the site. I pulled her along before she could say anything and walked through the crowd. Everyone said hello to me with big smiles and shining eyes; I'd always loved to escape my cage and walk among people. I supposed that was a reason for them to like me._

_We finally got to the caretaker of the operation and he turned to greet me. He too looked very happy to see I was present, although I was simply walking around. He was a burly man, but very healthy and fit with a worn, welcoming face. I'd known him for a long while, so he wasn't really official with me as most were, and I liked it._

"_Raegas, how good of your curiosity to jump at every opportunity; it may get me arrested!" he laughed, mirth in his deep voice. I smirked at his excitement and looked down at what he'd been focused on earlier. It was glowing blue substance and very strange given our location. The only reason I'd been on the planet was because of the discovery; my father had dragged me along with him because I was the eldest and I was supposed to know the happenings of the galaxy._

"_It's a strange-looking substance, Morag; do you have any idea what its properties are?" I asked curiously, only adding to his laugh. I gave a look to Vetrali before looking back on the discovery._

"_I believe this is a physical representation-possibly- of our people's abilities. Of course, it isn't as powerful as what we achieve normally, but it has potential. I believe if we refine it and such, it could act as an enhancer." He explained, his expert knowledge coming in handy as usual._

"_Raega'Darenth Lixeria Braceros!" I jumped at the sudden booming voice of my father and turned around to see him standing not six feet from me. His burning eyes certainly didn't seem happy to see me here.  
>"What are you doing here! I explained to you, not one hour ago, that Morag can handle this himself." He sighed, placing a strong hand on my shoulder, the weight of it pushing it down.<em>

_My mother was standing next to him, giving me a secret smile. I'd always been told that I got my wild urges from her, and I could understand. She still pranked or tricked people as well, though she was also extremely compassionate and wise. My father was smart and tactful, but he was clueless when it came to parenting. His constant efforts to raise my younger siblings and I was the very thing we found endearing. Though, both of my parents had tempers._

"_I'm sorry father, I was curious." I apologized, getting a smile from the large man. He seemed to think for a few moments, and finally, he broke into a large grin._

"_Then where were you, Morag? Let us continue!"_

His voice echoed in my mind, the unspoken forgiveness catching me off-guard. I hadn't realized my eyes were leaking until a drop landed on my hand. I stared down at the droplet in wonder, seeing the faint blue glow inside of it. Before I could totally focus on it though, it vanished, leaving a completely normal drop of water behind. Shaking it off, I continued my work on the Eezo, thankful for my friend Morag's explanation.

…

Just as I finished my experimentation, about two hours later, I cut myself on the precision torch. It burned my skin and cut through the flesh almost instantly, even as my arm jerked it away. I grunted in pain and looked down at my bloody mess of an arm and switched the torch off.  
>Oddly enough, just as I began to move to stand, the pain disappeared. I regarded my arm once more, seeing and feeling the flesh knit slowly back together. The bleeding sluggishly stopped and the gash closed, leaving behind only a puddle of blood on my shirt and floor along with a strange feeling. I stood and took a few steps toward the door, wiping the blood from my arm- trying to anyway.<p>

"Are you alright?" I looked up and noticed a worried-looking Shepard standing in the doorway. Great. Just my luck that the one person I don't want to be friends with catches me at a bad time.

"I'm perfectly healthy." I said, focusing on my arm and walking distractedly past her. I walked into my room and left the door open, knowing Shepard was behind me. As I stripped my bloodied shirt off, it dripped onto my face a bit and smeared across the skin. Once it was off, I examined it shortly before tossing it onto the floor to search for a spare shirt.

"I meant, are you injured? There's blood all over you." She was concerned, and that was a bad thing; I had a sensitivity to people who wanted to know I was alright.

"Yes, I was injured." I muttered, staring into an empty closet for a moment before closing it. "But now I'm fine." I finished, picking my bloody shirt again and putting it back on.

"Why are you putting that back on?" she asked, at a loss as to what to do.

"I have no spares and I've been covered in blood before. It'll dry out soon anyway." I said, picking up my armor and carrying it to the CC with Shepard close behind.

"Even if that's the case, I don't tolerate any of my crew having to wear bloodied uniforms." She stated, placing a hand on my shoulder. I tensed at the contact, remembering my father doing the same, but said nothing as I set the armor down on the main table.

"That's nice for them, isn't it?" I asked rhetorically, turning to grab the torch on a nearby table. Just as I did so though, she stepped in my way. I could smell several emotions broiling inside of her, but she kept calm with her 'Commander face' on. I raised an eyebrow but said nothing since she began to talk.

"You're a part of my crew now, and that includes you when I say I don't tolerate such conditions." I didn't know why, but I got annoyed and a little angry when she said this. I felt as if she was trying to tame me and put me on a leash or something, even if my brain knew it wasn't true. Even if she sought to be my 'Commander', I knew she just wanted me to be welcome… or something to that effect.

"I was taken from my resting place; awakened millennia after my own people died out, stuck down here and told I was a stranger's new toy. Tell me, Shepard; what would you feel if you were in my position?" I spoke lowly again, but kept from seeming threatening to her. I wasn't going to hurt her and I didn't want to, but she wasn't making my transition easy. Besides, I felt she could probably hurt me just as well, if she had to.

She didn't answer my question and I knew she couldn't by the way she stood there, shock clear on her face. I didn't bother deciphering her mixed emotions as I stood there for a few seconds more. I let out a breath and gently held her wrist, putting it onto the table instead of my shoulder. With that, I left, heading to my room.

…

The next day, I found myself trying to ignore a fidgeting Ashley. She'd come down to the CC, carrying a set of her armor. It was a simple Phantom mark two, ranking in medium class with a high flexibility rating, but low armor penetration defense, originally made for stealth. I'd been looking through as much information as I could on the terminal in my room, so I was able to recognize a lot of new stuff thanks to my photographic memory. I guess she wanted me to do something with it, but the whole time she'd been there, she'd just been standing behind me. I hadn't turned, but I could smell her uncertainty.

"Do you need something, or are you just going to stand there?" I asked, focusing on my current activity. I was realigning a strain of 'refined' Palladium that had bent somehow.

"I need to fix my armor, it… got damaged." She said, standing still. I stopped what I was doing and took the armor from her, setting it onto the table. She was surprised by the gesture, but said nothing as I began examining it, looking for the bullet holes and such.

"What do you want me do?" I asked, setting the various parts in certain areas of the table.

"What do you mean…?" she asked, obviously confused. I let out a breath and pulled the precision torch out.

"I can customize, rebuild, upgrade, change, alter… pretty much anything you want, as long as I have the right materials. Now, what do you want me to do with your armor?" I asked once more, looking at her. She gaped at me for a moment, but caught herself and seemed to think about it.

"If you don't mind, I'd like it upgraded. It's easy to move in, but it can't block straight on bullets at all. I could use a better filter too, the helmet is always stuffy…" she said, pointing to each piece she wanted changed. I bit back a smirk at her mention of stuffy helmets and nodded understanding. She left soon after, leaving me to my devices.

First, I fixed up her suit's punctures and holes, making sure there were no seams anywhere, and then I moved to refine the outer armor itself. I buffered it and stripped down the useless and/or broken pieces, either replacing them or upgrading them. Once finished with the individual pieces, I went to adding an extra layer of platinum inlaid light iridium. It would allow the suit to breathe while bolstering the defense several fold. By the time I finished that, I saw it had been three hours. I knew there would be another mission later and if Ashley wanted to go, I'd have to hurry my ass up.  
>With that thought in mind, I changed out the filter in her armor and connected the tubes so they could easily filter through her entire suit of armor instead of simply her helmet. It would allow her to be able to withstand higher temperatures with ease and vice versa for cold weather. With that finished, I repainted her armor to give it sleekness.<p>

"There we go." I muttered, letting out a breath and smirking down at my awesome job. I was sweaty and dirty from the continuous work, so add that with my already dried blood, and I look like I just escaped from a POW camp. It was too bad I couldn't change, but I figured I could wait until we get to the next refueling station.

I picked the armor up and headed to my room to see if I couldn't get a bottle of water. With that thought, my stomach growled angrily, displeased with my apparent abuse; I hadn't eaten since I'd woken up in the Normandy. Once I was to my room though, I caught sight of a folded Normandy uniform sitting on my bed. I set the armor down and stripped out of my own clothes. I took a quick shower, dressed in the mysterious uniform and wiped Ashley's armor off until it was shiny; I always was a perfectionist.

I carried the armor into the elevator and pushed the button for the third deck. It wasn't a big surprise that the elevator was as slow as it was in the game, but if you really thought about it, it was ridiculous. If there was a medical emergency to get to the second deck from the fourth deck, the victim would die before they even passed the third floor.  
>The door opened in the middle of my musings to reveal the cargo bay. I stepped out and caught sight of a restless Ashley, pacing back and forth at her station. I bit back a smirk as I approached her and waited for her to turn again. When she did, she looked up and jumped as she saw me, making me wonder if I was scary or something.<p>

"Here. I need you to try it on so I know it fits." I said, getting a confused look from her. Wordlessly, I helped her into the armor. Two minutes later, she was comfortably situated into her armor and I walked around her twice to make sure it fit the curves as well since my extra plating may have altered it a bit. Luckily, my alterations looked alright and the phoenix colors fit her really well.  
>"How does it feel?" I asked, running my hand along the now-gone bullet punctures to make sure they weren't noticeable.<p>

"Amazing." She marveled, experimentally moving her arms around to test the flexibility. "It feels so good, I can't believe it fits so well!" she grinned, rolling her shoulders. I put her helmet on her before she kept talking to see if the filtration system would work.

"I installed a conditioning system as well. The filtration will kick in as soon as the external sensors detect an off-balance temperature to what I set it to." I explained, still examining the suit's external shell.

"The helmet isn't stuffy anymore! My whole suit feels like it has air conditioning!" she certainly was excited, wasn't she? I suppose anyone would be when they'd been putting up with stuffy, hot helmets and low-power filtration system. I bent and made sure her hip plates conjoined with her leggings correctly and saw that one of the clamps hadn't been tucked together.

"Just a second, there's another clamp." I said, gripping the metal. I made sure it wasn't bent, and then clamped it together, sealing the suit. I heard it hiss gently as it pressurized and began filtering the oxygen through as I stood straight again. I saw Ashley was focused on her new suit so much she probably didn't notice me when I bent down. As she continued to move her arms around, I walked toward the elevator, only to be stopped by Shepard. She seemed to notice my new, mysterious uniform and smirked slightly as if self-satisfied. Maybe she sent it down or something…

"Raegas, I want you on this mission." She stated, already in her uniform. I raised an eyebrow, unsure as to what to feel.

"And we're going where…?" I asked, a tad impatient. I wanted to just be left alone at the moment so I could think about things. This was all too new to me, and though I was doing everything I could to learn of the galaxy, it was overwhelming in the least- not that I would admit to that…

"We're heading down to Luna in a bit. There's a rogue VI and we need to take it down before it manages to hurt anyone else, or worse." As she spoke, I entered the elevator slowly. I recalled the mission from the game and all, but why she wanted to take me was beyond me. It wasn't as if I had much experience with their weapons and such…

"See you in a bit then." I said simply, letting the doors close as she turned toward Ashley. I sighed in slight resignation, but kept from slumping pathetically to the floor; I was tired since I hadn't been able to sleep well so far. Of course, that would make sense, right? Still, I doubted I would be much help on said mission, but at least I knew what to expect; that's something.

…

As I boarded the mako, I realized it was much larger than I'd thought it was. Then again, I'd seen it on a TV screen before then. Putting that aside, I strapped myself in and made sure it was secure before glancing around. The interior was pretty simple, with seats and straps, obviously, and the comfort level was pretty low. Although the seat were a little padded or whatever, that didn't mean they were any more comfortable.

In any case, Shepard took the driver's seat (duh) while Ashley and Liara took seats across from me. I tried to ignore their staring as well, as the Normandy's cargo bay doors opened. Shepard, being who she was, gunned the throttle and sent us flying out of the ship, down to Luna below us. In reflex, I couldn't help but tense and hold onto the straps keeping me in my seat.

After what seemed like an hour, the jets in the mako activated and slowed our descent. Luckily, we made it to the surface of Luna with no physical injuries. Again, Shepard stomped on the gas, sending the mako hurtling forward at unsafe speeds. I kept a firm grip on my seat's straps, unwilling to let go as we jumbled around like beans in a can; thanks to Shepard's magical ability to hit _every freaking rock_ along the way.

…

Once an eternity of bumps, screeches and jumping was over, we made it to the first base. I thought it was strange how Shepard managed such 'driving' on a fucking flat surface, but it was probably better to just not question it. In the _game_, it had been a simple drive with pretty much no bumps or ledges to speak of, but _no_, we had to change it up a little when it was _real_!

Holding in a huff of annoyance and exhaustion, I jumped out of the mako along with everyone else. We began to fire on the turrets guarding the entrance of the, surprisingly large, compound one. Ash also lobbed a few grenades at them while Shepard expertly dodged a missile and shot them up simultaneously- even Liara managed to do some biotic thing and freeze the turrets temporarily. Talk about epic teamwork… They made me feel so left out; all I did was shoot at the damn things.

We entered the compound once we destroyed the guard turrets. I was glad I was still alive and uninjured, but I figured it would be better if I could do more than just survive. I could survive with style! Okay, that was stupid, I know. I think strange things when I get tired, you know.

Anyway, I looked around to see the interior was pretty much the same as it was in the game, but actually being there gave it more perspective. The rooms seemed larger, for one, but that was to be expected I suppose. Unfortunately, my musings were cut off as soon as Shepard opened the door, only to be greeted by a bunch of those flying things with guns.

We took what cover we could find and fired whenever the opportunity aroused. I peeked around the corner of the box I was hiding behind and saw a lone drone about six feet away. The others were still engaged with a small group at the other end of the boxes, so I took the moment to aim down my AR, given to me by Shepard, focusing on the drone intently. Just as I lined it up, I squeezed the trigger and sent the bullet speeding toward the drone. Luckily, I didn't miss, and its shields went down. With a couple more shots, it was down and out.

Eventually, we made it to the core rooms. Ash and I took out one of them while Shepard and Liara took care of the other. Just as we went through them though, the lights began to flicker and dim, telling me we were doing some damage. Good.

…

It took us almost an hour to get to the third and last base. By then, I was tired of the drones and the VI controlling them. I just wanted to go back to the Normandy and take a shower to get all of this sweat and grime off. I guess I just wasn't used to running around in a full suit of armor while fighting off hordes of turrets and drones to take out rogue VIs. Hm. It really was as annoying as it sounds.

In any case, we finally managed to get to the last two core rooms. By then, gas was also being emitted through the vents because of the damage we were causing, so add that to the dim, flickering lights, and it reminded me of something from Saw or Silent Hill. Another feature that wasn't in the game was the various blood stains speckled around he rooms of the bases from previous visitors.

The janitor must've been on leave. The thought made me snicker quietly as I and Ash destroyed the nodes in our room. She didn't seem to notice my small fit either, but the gunfire probably just covered me up. In any case, we met back up with Shepard and Liara in the hallway once they too destroyed the last remaining nodes. I shot down the force fields covering the doorways as we made our way back; those were annoying as well.

Once back to the main room, more drones popped out from nowhere and attacked us. Again, we all took cover and shot at them whenever we could. I managed to mostly just take the shields down of the drones while Shepard or Ashley took them completely out and Liara created singularities around the enemy forces.

By the time it was over and we were climbing back into the mako, I saw that we'd been gone for more than two hours. Man, time flies when you're killing things…

**A/N: Yeah, not much happening, but again, I want to stress the bothersome introductions and basis building. And at least we had a little bit of action this time, right? Anyway, I thank my readers for taking time out of their day to take a look at my work. Please, review! ;)**


	5. Stripping and Kidnapping

**Disclaimer: I only own my OC(s).**

**Liege Lord: Yeah, it's like a Quid Pro Quo thing. And yes, she does seem to have a bit of knowledge from back then, eh? Oh, but the liking Shepard thing: I'm going to have Raegas go through her own development and see how it turns out.**

**Stilphyell: Hm. I can see where you're coming from, but Raegas has some issues with trust, if you know what I mean. Anyway, yeah, I'd like to see what she can do as well: let's read and find out. ;)**

**Hopelessly Blue: *tear* you're a freaking god-send, my friend. You certainly did well with putting things in perspective, and giving me some inspiration. ;) Anyway, there are a lot of things that are about to happen, and the story's going to be speeding up soon, don't worry.**

**Alright, let's see what's happening… **

As I sat in the CC again, I found myself fidgeting with a piece of Eezo. I knew my people were immune to its effects, so tossing it into the air and catching it wasn't going to kill me. Maybe that's what the blue glow thing was… In any case, since I'd finished Ashley's armor and gotten back from the mission, there was nothing to do; hence the fidgeting.

Honestly, the mission had been the day before, since I'd gone to bed pretty much as soon as we returned. I'd decided to begin writing things down on a blank pad I'd gotten from Tali, of everything I still remembered from Earth, along with the things I was remembering from my 'real' home.  
>In fact, ever since my waking up, Shepard had been asking me questions of what would happen, or where we should go next, or even about what I was doing in that pillar. I hadn't had many answers, but come on; I only woke up, what? Three, four days before? Oh, well, Shepard and everyone left me alone for the most part, thinking I hated them or something. I wasn't sure how to feel about that, and given my situation, I was a little moody, considering…<p>

I yawned quietly and tossed the piece back up into the air. Only problem was, it didn't come back down.

I opened my eyes to pointedly regard an amused Shepard. She looked all too playful for my tastes, but I found it better than her 'Commander mask'. It reminded me of my friends from Earth, before I came here. They were always playing with me as well, and now that I thought of them, I remembered I wasn't missed. My copy was their friend now. I lowered my gaze and cracked my wrists to relieve the pressure from the job.

"Are you here for something relevant, or do you just want to harass me?" I sighed, my usual bite nonexistent. She seemed to notice I was a little depressed, but said nothing as she sat down in a chair beside of me, moving it so it faced me. She tossed the Eezo back at me and I noticed she was in her armor.

"I'm sorry." Her genuine statement surprised me a bit, but I looked at her behind a blank mask, waiting to see what she had to say.  
>"I've been pushing you a little too much, expecting you to just know everything already… I know you don't like me, but just… please, just give me a chance to earn your trust." I studied her almost pleading expression and couldn't hold back a small smile. She looked shocked by the gesture, but said nothing as I chuckled a bit.<p>

"I can't say it's entirely fair for you to have to gain my trust, yet I not work for yours. Although I may be… unfamiliar with all of this, I wish to help you, not complicate things with useless emotion." She relaxed at that, but I continued before she could say anything.  
>"I, after all, am…used to be…. just a girl with a family to help take care of. I lost everything then, and I don't want to mess something else up." I spoke quietly, but impartially. I never really wanted emotion to come into play with my actions, but if you think you can do that and not have morals, you're mistaken. Besides, I could only recall bits of memory here and there: I wasn't totally sure<p>

"Why are you telling me this…?" she seemed a tad spooked. I stared straight into her gaze and let out a breath.

"Because it may very well happen to you. Excluding the 'imprisoned' for millennia part." I said, earning a small chuckle. I didn't want to be her friend, but I didn't have to be a bitch to get her to hate me instead. After all, Jack didn't do so well in the 'I don't want to be friends' stuff, so why did I think I could do it? Besides, I didn't really like being mean to someone who was only nice to me. Then again, if I was nice, I might become attached… I had no idea what I was supposed to do, and it pissed me off a little.

"I hope not. Either way, if it happens we'll have something in common." She smirked, resting her chin in her hand. I paused and looked down at the Eezo.

"I am here to help you, Shepard. I can only hope you don't go through what I did." I muttered, standing and putting the Eezo away. I turned back around and almost ran into Shepard as she walked up behind me.

"Anyway, Ashley told me you fixed and upgraded her armor for her. It held up better than a mark six, you know." She said, seemingly proud. I wasn't sure if I should've been happy or annoyed that Ashley decided to brag about my work, but shook it off. It wasn't as if my opinion really mattered. And when did she say anything to Shepard about it? I was on the mission with them.  
>"Raegas?" she said after a few moments of silence.<p>

"I find no reason to answer if there is no question." I said, picking up a spare gauntlet for armor and examining it. It looked like the type compatible with most types of armor, but I'd have to adjust it to fit something heavy like Shepard's armor. Maybe I'd be able to tag the Alliance symbol to the breastplate as well if I upgraded it. Why was I even thinking about that? I decided to ignore the nagging feeling at the back of my mind, like I was forgetting something and turned the gauntlet in my hand.

"Then, how about I ask you how you can just do whatever people ask you to do?" she said, a tone of 'hypothetical' hidden in her voice. I looked up from the gauntlet and regarded her with a raised brow.

"I would tell you I have to only say I have the knowledge. I've had plenty of practice." I said with a small smile, gripping Shepard's forearm and holding it next to the gauntlet. I examined the difference and it seemed both were the same basic type, but the spare gauntlet was most likely a simple shell. With that, I wondered if the Alliance purposely made their spares very basic. If so, it would count as a severe safety issue.

"What is this for?" she asked. I released her arm and put the gauntlet down.

"Simple experimentation. I have nothing to occupy my time." I said, walking to the desk and sitting down once more. I held up a small plate of iridium and flicked my finger against it, testing the shock absorbency. It was the most brittle and titanium-like metal we had aboard, so you could imagine how well that went.

"Then how about you ask someone if they want you to fix up their armor?" a muscle in my eye twitched and I glanced up at her, giving her a look. She put up her hands in surrender and took a step toward me.  
>"Or… you could help me with mine?" she said, gesturing to herself with an inquisitive smirk. I sighed, knowing she was pulling the charm to get me to be nice and such. She had no idea what she was trying to change, even if inadvertently.<p>

"…" I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, so I stayed quiet for a few moments. If I helped her out, then she might take it as a sign of friendship or something, and I didn't want that. Then again, if I didn't upgrade her armor, then she may die before we even get to beating Saren and Sovereign; obviously, I didn't want that either.  
>Wordlessly, I gestured for her to take off the armor. I wasn't going to be her friend, but I wanted to be helpful, at least a little. Oddly enough, she smiled triumphantly at my supposed I-don't-hate-you gesture and quickly began to struggle out of the Colossus armor.<p>

A minute or two later, she set the various pieces of her armor down on the table. I stood and began setting them out in certain places so it would be easier to keep track of them while Shepard stared at me. I was beginning to wonder if she was going to do something when she started pointing out bullet holes and such, saying she mostly just wanted it fixed. There was no way I was going to waste my time just fixing crap; I was going to customize this hunk of metal and make it better than a mark ten. Well, as best as I could make it, anyway…

Once she left, albeit slowly, I got to work. First, I fixed up the armor and repaired the damaged systems that'd gotten shot out. Unfortunately, I'd have to get Shepard a new helmet since hers was completely messed up; its visor was shot, the HUD wasn't going to get fixed anytime soon, dents marred the surface, and the top plate was ripped off. How she had managed to do that to her helmet, I didn't know or really care, so I stripped it for whatever I could salvage.  
>Once finished with that, I went to upgrading her armor. First, I inlaid a coolingheating system within the suit and underlay as I had for Ashley. It wasn't too hard, but since it was heavy armor, it wasn't flexible; therefore it was a bitch to work with. After trying to get it to even work with the system, the damn inlay wouldn't connect correctly through the ceramic plating, so I'd have to redo the entire thing.  
>Having had enough of the inflexible and stubborn material, I gave up; I'd just use the general shell and recreate a new set of armor. I smiled at the prospect and began to strip the armor down to its empty shell. I knew I'd have to use most of the wired systems still, but I had a few ideas I could use for 'experimentation'.<p>

"Let's do this; Raega'Darenth style." I muttered, smirking like a lunatic. For some reason though, I glanced up right before I started and caught sight of an odd crack in the wall.

Thanks to my curiosity, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to investigate, so I approached it. I figured it was most likely some secret stash, but the level at which it was hidden led me to believe it was some sort of precious cargo. Once to the crack, I set my hand atop the outline. Instantly, the crack widened and moved away, revealing a large amount of… no.

There, before my eyes, was Star-soul. It was a material only found at the heart of suns and cores of planets; how did they…? Oh, right; they told me they salvaged a few relics from the ruin for me to make me more comfortable or something, I wasn't listening.

"Well, this will make it much easier." I smirked to myself and pulled out three relics; I didn't need much for what I had in mind. Unfortunately, since these were relics, they had already been Bonded; meaning they had already fused with another being. Star-soul, more commonly known as 'Solinium' by my people, was able to connect with the soul of someone from my species, taking on a physical representation of the user's soul, or be shaped by the will of the Bonder. Only thing was, it couldn't be done more than once with the same piece of Solinium. Still, this would make my job a lot more manageable.

…

After two hours of reshaping, altering and syncing, I finally finished and wired the armor's plates and systems. The only thing I had left was the helmet problem and adding an N7 to the breastplate. I started on the helmet first and engineered it so it was retractable giving the wearer more room and an auto-oxy system. This, by the way, was extremely annoying. Basically, you wouldn't be able to run out of air and the filters weren't any external tubes anymore since there weren't any tanks holding the air. Also, if exposed to, say, the void of space, the suit should be able to adapt since it keeps a store of oxygen in small reserves throughout itself. After I finished the armor, I began making the carvings for the N7 symbol.

Once I finished, I yawned quietly and glanced at the holo-clock on the wall. 4:38 AM. I cursed on the inside as I realized I'd worked into the next day. It probably wouldn't have mattered, but with my system, staying up once meant my body clock reset itself to whatever time I went to bed. Well, at least I was finished with Shepard's new armor. It wasn't even Colossus anymore; it was the first of my own creations. Maybe I should put my signature on it somewhere or something…

"You know what? I will; on the inside though." I mumbled, picking up the breastplate and turning it on its face. I gripped the small carver and wrote my name in the space over the heart. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to write galactic basic, so I carved it in my people's language instead.  
>"Wow. I had forgotten what my name looked like…" I muttered, staring at the elegant handwriting. It was strange, knowing it was my own, but I liked it. Since I was finished with the armor, I went ahead and carved the spaces for the N7 into the breastplate itself so the suit could determine whether having the symbols showing or not and hide or show them upon the decision. Or she could just do it herself by telling the VI to do whatever.<p>

Once I finished, I realized just how tired I was as my forehead landed on the table and I proceeded to fall into a deep slumber.

…

_Bodies. Everywhere. I try to run, but the claws rip at my skin, burn the flesh with their poison. I should die. Why won't I die? Another piercing roar permeates the air, my very being, suffocating me in its corruption. They ran with me, helping me to get away. My wounds are slowly stopping bleeding as we dash into the chaotic walls of my home; a prison all my life. This day, it will be my salvation, if we get there._

_I can't stop the screaming. It's in my mind, tearing at my soul, mocking me. I caused this. The end was my fault. How? I should've known…_

_Again, my flesh is seared by one of the creatures, some with me dying trying to shield me. Again, I am pulled along, the last of my line. The last hope? I don't deserve it anymore. I can't be the only one left…!_

_The screams escalate the farther I run. The roar of death is at my heels, daring me to live. My very being is shaken as I stumble and prepare for the end._

"-gas… Raegas, wake up!" I jump up and by instinct, my body moves, gripping the person's wrists and pinning them to their side as we fell to the ground. Somehow, though, the person's legs came up and pushed against me, causing a stalemate.

As the screams of agony fade from my mind, I truly awaken to realize I was out of breath and my heart was beating a mile a minute. I looked down and saw I had trapped Shepard under me in reflex. She stared up at me with widened eyes, and I doubted she didn't see the flash of my eyes when they shifted back from their red haze.

The nightmare must've triggered my eyes to shift, I thought as I couldn't catch my breath. I let go of her and stood, trying to calm down.

"I'm sorry, it was reflex." I muttered, getting a nod from her as I sat in front of the table once more. She pulled a chair up to my side as I caught my breath.

"It's fine. I just came in to get you since you weren't in your room and it looked like a pretty bad nightmare, so I..." she trailed off, noticing I wasn't really listening.

"I finished your armor. Here." I said, standing and grabbing the boots first. She stayed seated as I had gestured, so I kneeled in front of her and pulled her shoes off. She seemed surprised, and I could understand since armor went over boots.

"Why are you taking my shoes off?" she asked. I held up one of her shoes next to an armor boot to show they were the same size. She put on the 'oh' face and stayed quiet as I adjusted her socks a bit to make sure they wouldn't wrinkle when I put the boots on. Unfortunately, I realized I'd hit a bump in the road; my armor hadn't been adjusted enough to allow room for clothes underneath.

I sighed and she seemed to notice the sudden change in my mood since she leaned forward to get a better look at my face. I reached out and pushed her back against the chair so I could reach her belt to undo it. I pulled the belt from her hips and undid her pants quickly so she couldn't react properly by the time I'd pulled the garments off her legs.

"Don't freak out, this is so you can fit into the armor correctly. I set it specifically to your body itself, making it more efficient." I said, not even looking at her as I put the boots on her feet. Of course, I should've added the clothes into the equation, but I guess I added a few too many things to the armor shell so I didn't have the room to. I added the calve set, then finally, the thigh/hip set.  
>My people's armor had never been in several pieces as humans' were, but the shell I used didn't allow me much variety, especially since the shell had already been in pieces. Once I was finished with the legs and hips, I clamped them all together. The mechanics automatically synced and connected, molding to Shepard's legs.<p>

"It's pretty comfy already." She smirked, looking down at me. I nodded distractedly and stood, picking up her torso back plates. She stood as well and turned her back to me so I could attach them and such. The pieces automatically sealed and the bottom of the spinal inlay snaked around her shirtless back to fully integrate with her hip plates. She jumped a bit as it had started moving, but stayed still for the most part.

I gripped the front torso and turned her around. I ignored the scar on one of her ribs that looked like it had once been cut by something and set the bottom of the plate to the top of the hip plate. It automatically linked them together and clamped comfortably. Then, I attached the gauntlets to her upper torso and activated them so they would form to her arms comfortably. Once finished, I picked up one of the contractible gloves and attached them to her gauntlet.

"What's that?" she asked curiously, looking down at the contraption.

"I figured you might not want to always have the gloves on, so they're retractable." I said, attaching the other one to her second hand. When I glanced up, she was giving me a look that made me wonder if she thought I'd grown a second head, so I continued.  
>"They can fold and unfold whenever you want." I spoke slowly just to knock her out of the sudden stupor she'd gotten into.<p>

"But that doesn't…"

"It does now." I cut her off before she told me something utterly obvious. She didn't say anything, but gave me a subtle look that I was probably not supposed to see. I ran my finger along the smooth surface of her breastplate and the symbol appeared as it was supposed to. I hid a smirk at my ingenuity and possibly growing ego, instead choosing to run my finger along it once more to make it close off.

"Do I get an awesome helmet too?" she asked gamely, yet still seeming a bit uncomfortable. I wasn't surprised seeing as how I didn't give off the nicest of auras. Or at all, really.

"Come here." I muttered, leading the way to the large full-size mirror. I stepped aside so she could see herself in the armor. It had just the right touches of intimidation and charm, respectful and elegant and maybe most important; it looked awesome. I thought Shepard would be able to use the features of the armor well, so I actually took care in the aesthetic area.

She stood there, staring at herself in the mirror for so long; I thought she'd gone brain dead or something. I cleared my throat to jump her out of it again and she blinked a few times to refocus her vision.

"It feels good, I… it's like it was made for me." She almost whispered, her eyes a little wide. I didn't bother hiding my smirk that time as I crossed my arms.

"It was." I confirmed. Her gaze snapped to mine in shock and I started to explain. "I wanted to upgrade, not just fix; fixing's boring. I used a few of my 'relics' to improve the armor- not just its weight and flexibility, no. The material I used evolved the… human… system, giving it heightened speed, strength, defense, even intelligence. I used my and my people's touches, but it's only a hybrid and I rushed a bit, unfortunately." I explained, pointing to each difference and improvement. She was quiet and a little unresponsive, but I knew she was listening.

After I explained for a few moments more, I let her take in the information. It was a minute or two before she began to experimentally move around the room, taking exaggerated movements. I went ahead and sat back down at the main table and looked over the leftover Solarium to see if I'd be able to use it for something. Once she was finished, I looked over to see she had been staring at me. I stood as she averted her gaze and walked up to her. I led her back to the mirror and stood slightly behind her.

"I also thought you'd want to show off every so often, so I took the opportunity…" I ran my finger along her breastplate once more and the N7 symbol appeared. It had a very faint glow because of the materials I used, but I thought it would add an effect, so I left it as it was. She smiled at the reveal and ran her finger along it, making it disappear again. She repeated the movement several times as if enjoying it and chuckled a bit as well. I didn't want to be her friend and I wasn't going to be; but if she died before she was supposed to, then it would be in my hands.

"This is so cool!" she muttered excitedly, running her hand along the surface one last time to make it appear once more. I moved slightly in front of her to check the helmet and make sure it wasn't pinching anywhere. Once I was satisfied, I fidgeted with Shepard's hair to move it out of the way, just in case. I almost laughed at the image that brought to my mind.

"Alright, I have one more thing to show you…" I muttered absently, moving to her side once more. I ran my finger along her collar's rim, and the helmet immediately activated. It quickly snapped up to encase her head, startling her a bit. I heard the armor fully awaken as it hissed, pressurizing and initiating a system auto-setup. It was a good thing I'd already taken that opportunity as well, and since I used a lot of the Colossus' systems and wiring, it would be easier, or more familiar, for Shepard when she used it.  
>"Now, you can retract this like the gloves as well. I'm going to tell you now; the armor has something similar to a VI, just more advanced. It's sort of aware, for example, but before you freak out, it's not an AI." I said, noticing her sudden shocked stance. Once I told her it wasn't an AI though, she calmed down.<p>

"Then what is it?" she asked, a tad suspiciously.

"Activate Proto-Sequence one." I said, the armor instantly reacting as it hummed quietly, telling me it was processing. Shepard suddenly flinched and her hand flew to her helmet. I gripped her arm to keep her from deactivating the sequence and watched carefully. About ten seconds later, the humming stopped and a small beep emanated from the armor, telling me it was finished.

"What was that?" she asked a little forcefully, obviously a bit suspicious.

"It's not a VI, and it's not an AI, so what could an 'aware' suit of Hybrid armor be?" I poked her in the chest with a smug smirk.  
>"You. The sequence I activated told the 'computer', as you call it, to link with your mind. It senses what you feel, need, or want, and acts upon them. It's a very advanced and, obviously, un-invented… thing… but lucky for you, I'm not from around here." I explained absently, stepping back to examine my own creation.<p>

"It's so amazing, it may even be a little overboard…" she said with slight awe, looking at herself. I shrugged and went to sit down.

"Yeah, well, it gave me something to do." I commented whimsically, cracking my collarbones.

…

"What?" I absently asked, sensing someone else in the room. Footsteps brought the person closer to my seated position as I tinkered with a 'relic' of mine.

"I want you to accompany me to Feros." I looked up to see Shepard, knowing very well what she was thinking; I knew what would happen, so I'd actually be useful. It made me feel a little weird, but I couldn't quite identify what it was exactly. I returned my gaze to the relic and took a breath.

"Who's going?" I asked.

"I'm taking Ashley, Garrus and Wrex. Hopefully, you too." She said, sitting in her usual chair beside of me. I sighed; Garrus didn't exactly take to me well since I'd woken up. Ashley was okay, but she didn't really trust me, especially when it became apparent I wasn't really human. Wrex was fine with me, but if he was the only one at my back…

"You know that turian can't stand me; I might as well be a criminal in his eyes, and Ashley isn't much better!" I huffed, annoyed that Shepard chose the two who disliked me the most out of her crew- even as she knew about their feelings toward me. She stood as well and came to my side with her hands in a calming gesture.

"I know, but maybe if-"I cut her off, if only to get my point across.

"Assume for one second I can't change their minds, Shepard; they don't care for me at all." I hissed, boring into her eyes forcefully. My temper was starting to flare up from that damned nightmare…  
>"It's not that I care, but the fact that they are so easily influenced by my past and not who I am proves their ignorance." I ran a hand through my hair and put a hand on my hip with a sigh.<p>

"Why are you not bothered, though?" she asked.

"Because I've had a lot more people hate me before. Do you really think two stranger's' opinions will bother me much?" I asked rhetorically, moving to my room across the hall. She followed quietly, but said nothing. I figured she was just thinking, so I left it as it was while I got my armor on. I needed to get over it and just focus on my new 'duty' to help Shepard out.

"I guess not." She muttered, a tone of realization in her voice. I finished with my armor and turned to her.

"Don't forget what I may be, Shepard." I said, annoyed at my amnesia and moving into the elevator. She followed, looking confused.

"Why? You haven't done anything terrible; the opposite, in fact." She asked.

"Because I don't deserve it. Not for now, not until I remember everything that happened." I said. The rest of the ride was silent after that. I suppose my matter-of-fact tone shocked her or something. I didn't really care and solitude fit me most; I liked being alone. Maybe that was a side effect from being in a pillar for who knows how long? Maybe I was just hiding?

The elevator stopped on the third deck and we stepped out into the cargo bay. I caught sight of the team waiting by the mako and I walked up to Wrex while Shepard talked about something to the others.

…

We were at the small village, and I had to admit, it was fairly rundown. There were injured around and each colonist had the look of hopeless determination- an odd combination. As we walked through, I hung back a bit, taking in every corner and possible cover for later, thanks to my slight paranoia. I wanted to believe we could save all of the colonists with the Thorian gas grenades as I had in the game, but it was very possible it wouldn't be attainable.

"Raegas, I want you to scout ahead in the tunnels with Garrus and Wrex. Ash and I'll talk to these colonists; see if we can't dig up some information." Shepard said. When she had addressed me, it sounded more like a request than a command, but I knew I might as well have gone with it. I even ignored Garrus' mandibles' angry twitching as I walked past, heading to the tunnels.

…

"Varren." Wrex growled as we made our way through one of the tunnels. I'd already finished with the Geth beacon and water problems, so the Varren alpha and power nodes were left. At least they were in the same room; made it a little more convenient.

"Yeah. If the smells are right, the alpha's with them." I muttered back, still unused to my super-smell ability. If I was such a badass, why couldn't I have more 'combative' abilities? Elemental control would be pretty useful, right?

In any case, we slowly stepped through the door- and Garrus was immediately set upon by one of the creatures. I'd have thought it funny if we weren't all being surrounded by the pack. Oddly enough, they weren't attacking; the one on top of Garrus was even just sitting there… growling.

As the alpha approached, its gaze trained on me, I shared a confused glance with Wrex. I knew he wanted to just kill them and get it over with, but was gratified to see he was wise enough to wait. He'd probably get to kill them soon anyway. The alpha stopped about two feet from me and sat, still staring at me. I glanced around and noticed the other Varren were looking at all of us, most likely wondering why we weren't attacking either.

"Um… hi." I said to the alpha, uncertainty in my tone. Instantly, the pack jumped forward, overwhelming us. The alpha jumped forward and pinned me to the ground as Wrex tried to fight all of them off, Garrus already hopeless in his struggle. I stared up at the alpha's almost knowing eyes and kept still, waiting for… what? To attack me? That works well enough.

"Get off me, Varren swine!" Wrex roared, throwing one off, only to have two more take its place. Oddly enough, I realized that there weren't as many in the game, versus in real life. I tried to break free, but the alpha was too heavy, and a few Varren were still watching me closely.

Suddenly, I felt two strong, sharp-toothed filled jaws take my legs and tug. I struggled to look down at what was happening, but the alpha stayed seated on me so I couldn't very well move. The Varren at my legs pulled me along to another corridor, one that wasn't in the game, seemingly taking me somewhere.

"What, you have designated eating areas?" I asked rhetorically, getting a grunt and what looked like a shake of the head from the alpha. It was a surprising yet not unwelcome gesture. Well, if they weren't going to eat me, where were they taking me? And why?

**A/N: *sighs* you know, I'll stop at a good cliff-hanger one of these days…! I figure I could've left out the whole 'armor scene', but my little sister insisted on a humanizing gesture for our characters. Either way, I hope that was alright. Reviews or PMs are very much appreciated! ;)**


	6. Urged Rescues And Sudden Recollections

**Disclaimer: You all know the drill, I own my OC(s) only so don't sue me. I'm looking at you, Bioware.**

**Heavenly Blue: Aw, thanks man, I really appreciate you and your reviews. XD I'm actually happy to listen to your geekness, so have no worries about that. And, I know, it's a big shocker Raegas did something nice for Shepard, but she just says it's all logical to make sure Shepard survives as long as possible…**

**Stilphyell: Yes, you will just have to wait and see... *conspiratorial smirk***

**Liege Lord: I'm glad you understand, but I fear if said event happens to Shepard, her death may be worse than it was originally… Anyway, read and find out what happens! ;) **

As the warlord struggled against the waves of Varren, his gaze registered Raegas getting dragged away. He fought against the seemingly infinite supply of swine with ferocity known of the Krogan race. Finally he broke free from the horde and stood tall, raising his shotgun to blow them all away-

Only to see they were running away; towards where the alpha took Raegas. The warlord grudgingly holstered his weapon, annoyed at the fact he couldn't kill the creatures now. His piercing gaze swept through the room and landed on an unconscious turian. He grunted with something akin to satisfaction as he grabbed the weak alien's collar and began dragging him along the tunnels. Shepard needed to know what happened and the turian no doubt needed some kind of medical care for the gash on his forehead.

"Stupid turian." Wrex grumbled, almost disappointed when the annoying alien didn't respond with a snarky comment. Still, he preferred the weak alien to shut up for once, so it all worked out.

Wrex wasn't exactly comfortable with Raegas' kidnapping, but she'd just have to survive until the others could get to her. It would've been stupid for the warlord to just go rushing after her and the large pack alone and leave the pathetic turian all by his lonesome. He knew Shepard had a bit of a soft spot for the strange former prisoner as well, so she'd want to be involved with the rescue. Well, _if_ there was going to be one.

...

After what seemed like forever, they stopped dragging me along. We'd reached a dead end, the room spacious and full of more Varren. Not much of a surprise there. What was odd though was the fact that they brought me to what was obviously their… nest? Whatever you call it, I was there; female Varren sat leisurely around, ignoring the playing baby Varren as they jumped all over them, letting out adorable sounds. The male Varren were also sitting around and as the other 'warrior' Varren, I'll call them, entered the relatively cavernous room, jumped up to greet them. The 'home' pack, I'll call them, all trotted towards us and rubbed all against each other in greeting, making cooing noises and such. It made me feel guilty, knowing I'd have killed them just this morning and take them away from their families. I knew all too well how that felt.

Even so, I had little idea as to why the hell they brought me, an outsider, to their nest. Whatever got them to think I would do something for them was crazy. And, honestly, I was a little intimidated by the amount of Varren around. I knew they'd be able to kill me if I tried anything, so I suppose that gave them a small sense of security. Well, if Varren even think about that stuff…

The alpha finally got off of me so I could sit up properly. As I did so though, he nudged my back urgently, making me lose my balance a bit. I looked to the creature and all he did was keep nudging me, making a whining/growling sound. With a forced breath, I stood and made my way to the back of the room where the alpha was pushing me.

I caught sight of a small form in what looked like a blanket, weak but audible crying emanating from it. With a new sense of urgency, I knelt down in front of the tiny bundle. I drew it into my arms and pulled part of the blanket back to reveal what was inside.

…

"Gone?" Wrex roared, glaring down at a shaking colonist. He nodded his head violently, obviously trying not to wet himself. The warlord growled at the confirmation and stomped off toward the ship. It was ridiculous that Shepard had decided to go ahead without him! Oh, and now that she was gone, Raegas would probably die a horrible death unfit for one with any dignity. And he still had to drag the damn turian along. Great.

…

I was shocked to see what looked like a newborn creature, but confused as well; it definitely wasn't a Varren baby. I was further surprised to see it stopped crying when I had picked it up, immediately struggling to snuggle further into my embrace. It was adorable and all, but it was so newborn it still hadn't opened its eyes. This made me realize a few things; one, it was still probably fed milk or something from its mother, two, it was definitely hungry, and three, the mother was nowhere to be found. And since it was of a species I couldn't… wait a minute…

Suddenly, memories and facts rushed into my mind, causing an instant headache to form. The new information seemed to replace even more of my time on Earth as well, and I forced myself to keep calm even as the flow of information continued.  
>Slowly though, it faded away, leaving me with an all-new awareness. I wasn't sure if the quid-pro-quo thing was good or not, but it did give me more of what my life used to be like. I blinked and gave my headache a moment to edge away before looking down at the newborn creature with new eyes.<p>

It took a second or two, but I recalled what this was! This was a baby Ulaeviel! I used to have one of my own back before my life ended; her name had been Ciria. I had raised her myself; so luckily, I knew what they ate throughout their lives. The only thing that confused me was how in the hell a newborn Ulaeviel got into this time, let alone in a cavern full of Varren.

The alpha joined me at my side and regarded the baby with confusion. At least he hadn't decided to eat the baby. I smiled at him, catching his attention and patted his jaw in thanks. He cooed in satisfaction and sat on his haunches beside of me, regarding the whole clan of Varren while still keeping me in sight. I returned my eyes to see the baby still trying to snuggle, so I held her closer and gave her my index finger to suck on.

The Ulaeviel were most closely similar to dogs and wolves, but there were many differences. They were all carnivores and all, but the Ulaeviel were about as smart as humans. They had personalities more complex and deep than dogs, stronger and larger bodies, sharper teeth and an amount of 'supernatural' abilities. That fact alone gave me the impression the newborn somehow gave the Varren an impression not to eat it. They had always been my people's partners and 'best friends' as the dogs were to humans though, so you can still see some similarities.  
>The Ulaeviel anatomy and such was, luckily, something my father made me study, so whenever my Ciria got sick, I'd be there to make it better. I only remembered a small amount at the moment, but at least I knew what was going on now… sort of. Either way, Ciria had been my partner and I had been hers, the both of us always helping each other out.<p>

"I need to get you some ambrosia." I whispered, holding her close. I looked to the vigilant alpha, gratified when he looked back to me in question. I'd have to make some ambrosia for the baby later, but the closest substitute I could think of was blood. I know, it sounded like these were vampire wolves, but really, the blood was just for vitamins and a ritual my people used to bond with their chosen mutual partner. Only thing was, I'd have to be careful of giving her too much or she could die; especially because my blood was so strong.

I pulled my finger from the baby's mouth, earning a small whine in protest, and bit down on the tip hard enough to draw blood. I made sure it had a steady flow before returning my finger to the baby's mouth. She took it and sucked greedily, the act tugging at the corner of my mouth until it turned into a small smile.

…

"Asari!" Wrex called, glaring at the doctor whom he'd found in the mess hall. She looked up in surprise as he quickly approached, dropping the turian onto the floor. Once he'd reached her, he poked a finger at her, almost accusingly.  
>"You're coming with me." He growled. She jerked back in surprise, a look of confusion and fear crossing her face.<p>

"Why?" she asked sheepishly, tensing noticeably.

"Do you want to rescue Raegas or not?" he demanded, shoving a Spectre class pistol into her grip he'd stolen from Shepard's locker. She looked even more confused now, but stood and followed him as he stomped through the ship. Soon, he found the quarian and shoved a shotgun into her grip with as little information as he'd given the asari.

"What's going on, Wrex?" the asari asked, confusion and worry lacing her voice.

"That damn horde of vermin stole her and Shepard's gone! She's going to get eaten soon if you two don't hurry up!" he growled, striding quickly through the airlock and out of the ship. The two followed quietly behind, done with their useless questions for the moment. He knew this was probably a waste of time, but if Shepard got back only to find that girl was stolen, she'd ride Wrex's ass in a fit. He preferred saving himself the trouble.

…

"Alright, that's enough for you; I don't want to make you sick." I muttered, pulling my finger from the baby's mouth. I watched with distant interest as the flesh healed, and then wiped most of the blood away just in case. As I slipped my finger back into the baby's mouth to occupy her, I noticed she looked a lot better than when I'd found her; she wasn't so pale anymore, at least.

I leaned against the back wall in thought. I'd have to leave soon and there was no way I could leave the newborn here, or she'd die in less than a day. Then again, I wasn't sure if taking her to the Normandy was such a good idea. Of course, if I raised her, then maybe I'd be able to have something of home- I wouldn't be alone anymore. And the young one would no doubt be able to help once she grew a bit more. It was a good thing they matured faster than dogs, but stopped aging at around three or four; the Ulaeviel lifespan was, on average, that of around 150 years.

I wondered if I should've named her, but I figured I could wait a bit. Either way, it would be best if I left before anyone came after me. I didn't want them to kill the pack or get hurt themselves and the little one would need proper care. With my mind made up, I got the alpha's attention. He looked at me questioningly and I smiled slightly at him.

"I need to return now, and take care of this little one. Can I go?" I asked, opting to let him make the decision. I knew Varren weren't very smart, but they understood enough. After a moment, he stood and grunted, seemingly telling me to follow.

…

Soon, we were back to where the pack kidnapped me. I thanked the alpha and bid him farewell as he bound back toward his own. I turned back to see the crashed vehicle on top of the platform and approached it. I figured I might as well have retrieved the power cells before heading back, especially since I didn't kill the alpha for the colonists.

Once I attached them to my belt, I gave my finger back to the young one. She seemed to be almost asleep, but since she still wanted to make sure all my blood was gone from my finger, I let her continue. Either way, I felt less alienated in this new galaxy with someone to care for from the same place I came from. Still, how she got there was a mystery.

I continued through the tunnels with purpose, hoping to catch everyone before they went charging through the lines of brainwashed colonists. I had an idea to use an ability of mine, but it had been so long, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to accomplish it. Not correctly, anyway.

As I ascended the stairs to the colony, I caught sight of the Thorian creepers at the top. Shifting the baby to lay in one arm, I mentally activated my armor's hand cannon, the large barrel transforming and encompassing my forearm entirely. It was similar to Samus' cannon, but slimmer and more advanced. I raised my arm and blasted the two creatures away with a seeker missile. The blast caught three more and incinerated them instantly, leaving behind only a smell of burning flesh and dust. I was also pushed back a little when the small wave hit me, and since I was severely out of practice, I actually lost balance and smacked against a wall behind me.

Once I gathered myself, I slowly made my way through, killing only the creepers in the process. I hadn't come across any colonists yet, but I was sure there were going to be some soon, and that would make my struggle more difficult. I blew another three creepers away and turned a corner- only to jump back. Some of the colonists had begun to fire at me, then more of the damned creepers jumped from the other side of the wall and ran toward me, their mouths gaping open.

I instantly raised my arm and sent out a few plasma balls in their direction. The balls were pretty much the same thing as a simple attack from my cannon, being closely related to Samus' own basic attack. The balls hit the creepers, dropping most of them in the process, but one made it past and launched itself at me. Without thinking, I rushed backwards into another wall, firing frantically at the disgusting creature. Luckily, I managed to drop the damned thing before it vomited its acid shit all over me.

I peeked back around the corner enough to see the ground in the middle of the three barricades and switched out my cannon's plasma mode to its sleeper mode. Without a second thought, I threw out a pulse grenade that had been attached to my belt, and fired off my 'sleeper beam' at the grenade.

Immediately, the grenade exploded, rocking the ground slightly and dropping the colonists- without killing them. The grenade itself was something of a blank sheet; shoot it with a certain oriented beam, and it'll adopt the traits of whichever beam you use, multiplying the power and exploding once it reaches a critical 'overload'. Of course, if you simply shoot it with a gun or if it's hit hard enough by something other than the oriented beams, it'll not activate properly and the result could depend on what it was hit with, how hard it was impacted, the atmospheric pressure, the temperature, etc…

I shook myself from my inner recollections and continued along, using the grenades on the colonists and the plasma balls on the Thorian creepers. The taxing work was wearing down on me and with everything going on, I actually managed to trip over myself a few times, resulting in close calls. It wasn't long though, before I found myself staring at Fai Dan, struggling against the Thorian's influence.

"It wants me to kill you… but… I… won't…!" he managed through gritted teeth, his arm twitching erratically as if fighting itself. He really was fighting himself, but that wasn't the point.

I, unfortunately, had run out of grenades to use on the colonists, so I may have to actually kill the man. He grunted from the strain of fighting the Thorian's control, bearing his teeth in clear pain as he pushed through. I tensed, not wanting to shoot at him as his gun finally reached his head.

Just as I saw his finger tighten on the trigger, a grenade shot out and blew up in a green haze, dropping him. From the look of the color of the blast and the fact that Fai Dan wasn't torn or burnt anywhere, I knew it was Shepard's Thorian gas grenade. Just in case though, I kept my arm raised, waiting for whoever threw the grenade to come out.

Luckily, I saw Shepard pop her head out from the cover of the wall she was behind. We locked gazes and both of us lowered our weapons in relief- though I didn't show my own. I mentally deactivated my hand cannon, returning my armor to what it was originally and held the baby more securely in my grip. Shepard approached me with a smile of both happiness and confusion as she holstered her AR, Ashley right behind her.

"What happened to getting kidnapped?" she asked. I chuckled, seemingly surprising her, and shrugged.

"I figured you'd miss me, so I decided to come back." I answered, subtle sarcasm sneaking into my tone. She blew out a chuckle then and patted me on the shoulder. The gesture made me wonder if I'd said something funny, but I didn't get it. I never was good with getting funny things anyway, so I let it go.

"Where are Wrex and Garrus?" Ashley asked, no doubt suspicious. I regarded her seriously, a dark, almost playful smile creeping onto my face as Shepard calmed down to look at me as well. I sensed a shiver run through the Chief's back at my expression before I answered.

"I ate them." I muttered lowly, staring her down. She actually started to sputter in shock before Shepard couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out into laughter. Coincidentally, Wrex popped up from behind the corner a second or two later, confusion on his face. I returned to my normal blank mask, but let the small smirk stay on my lips just cause.

"What's going on?" Wrex demanded, holding his shotgun aloft. I saw Liara and Tali trailing behind him, curiosity and shock emanating from them. I could understand why, seeing as how Shepard never really laughed or fully smiled around others. At the reminder, I realized she'd only ever done so in my presence. Odd. And a tad unsettling.

"Ashley thinks I ate you and Garrus." I answered once Shepard stopped laughing, wiping a tear from her eye. By her maniacal smiling, I figured I'd gotten her into a good mood or something, but I still didn't understand why what I said was so funny. Then again, I preferred that reaction over one where they both actually believed me.

Wrex chuckled amusedly at the news and Ashley again sputtered a bit, acting as if the gesture mocked her itself. The baby in my arms, still wrapped in the blanket, began to stir. She snuggled closer, a whine escaping her in protest, telling me she still wanted my finger. I figured the noise woke her up, so I gave her my finger again, holding her a bit closer.

I hadn't known there was a silence until it drew out long enough for me to register it. I looked up and saw/smelled everyone's shock at the realization I was carrying a baby. Shepard was the first to shake it off as she broke out into a smile, coming to my side and standing close to look down at the little creature. She rested one of her arms over my shoulders and shook her head in disbelief.

"What is it?" she asked, looking back up at me.

"A newborn Ulaeviel. My people were once their partners and friends." I answered, looking back at Shepard.

"How did it get here?" Tali asked, stepping toward me. She stayed away as the others did, and I could understand, since I was either scary and intimidating or untrustworthy and suspicious to them. You could guess who had which opinion, right?

"I don't know, but I found her alone and abandoned, dying of starvation. I fed her and such, but…" I trailed off, unable to bring myself to finish the sentence I wasn't sure if I truly care for her properly, but I would have to try.

"But what?" Shepard asked, a hint of worry lacing her voice. I _almost_ liked her for it, but I still managed to keep my cold self from feeling anything.

"If I leave her, she'll die. Yet I can't just adopt a newborn, I…" I muttered, getting a chuckle from the Commander.

"Looks like we've all got a new family member." She said, silently telling me I could bring the baby along. I bit back the smile that wanted to creep onto my face and simply nodded.

"I hadn't realized prisoners were still permitted to adopt babies." I looked up at Ashley with a raised brow as Shepard turned an almost annoyed glare on her. Before she bit the Chief's head off though, I responded.

"I hadn't realized xenophobic humans could still care." I mimicked her tone of voice, but kept it light to show the others I wasn't going to get into a fight about it. She looked away, ashamed, and clenched her teeth together to keep from returning an insult. I wasn't quite sure why she still thought I was a criminal, but she and Garrus were a lot more thick-headed than they were given credit for.

"In any case, we must deal with the Thorian." Liara pitched in, stepping forward. Shepard calmed then and nodded, taking her AR from its place on her back.

"Ashley, Tali, Raegas, I want you to return to the ship; take care of the little tyke." She said, looking to me at the last end of the sentence. At my nod, she continued.  
>"Wrex, Liara, you're with me. Where is Garrus though?" she asked, looking to Wrex. The warlord shrugged, a small smirk at his mouth.<p>

"The turian was knocked out when we were attacked by the Varren. I dragged his ass back to the ship already." He answered, almost satisfaction in his voice when he mentioned dragging.

"Alright. Everyone, move out." She ordered. I started for the Normandy before she said to fall out though, so I was already halfway across the lot by the time she said it. I glanced down at the baby as I walked, noticing it had gone quiet once more and saw she'd fallen back to sleep. Gently, I removed my finger from her mouth, satisfied when she stayed under.

**A/N: Didn't expect that did ya? Yeah, me neither. Anyway, please review or PM me and tell me what you think! XD **


	7. Clarifications And Deliveries

**Disclaimer: Again, I'll say I just own my OC(s).**

**Hopelessly Blue: Ha ha! You're the best, man. I'm really glad you liked the chapter and all, so I'll do my best to keep a steady flow for you. Either way, I did try to keep everyone in character, especially Wrex since he's… well, he's Wrex. ;) I love making references to people or other games as well, it gives me a basis of description, you know? Anyway, I'm happy to paddle down that river as well, eh? XD **

**Liege Lord: Why, thank you. I do try to be unpredictable, but if I'm entirely honest, this story is starting to write itself, if you know what I mean. XP**

"Let's see here…" I muttered, looking down at a squirming Ciria. I'd decided to name her after my original partner, figuring it was fitting. She had the same personality so far as well, just as energetic as my first had been. She'd already begun to grow the thick fur of the Ulaeviel as well, telling me her maturation rate was going at a healthy steady rate so far. Just in case though, I'd been giving her checkups once a week for the past three.

Luckily, the bacteria present in this 'new' galaxy were considerably less evolved than what I and my people were used to. I hadn't gotten sick at all so far and since Ciria's immune system was about as strong as a human's at the moment, I wasn't all too worried over her getting sick. By the time she matured, she'd have an immune system about as strong as me, close to a Krogan's.

"Alright, we're done." I said, putting away the scanner I'd used a moment before. She stared up at me and jumped up, her front paws leaning on my chest. I knew she could understand what I was saying; she had about the same maturity level as a 4 year-old human at the moment. I could almost see the smile on her face as she gazed up at me happily. I picked her up and she immediately curled into me, snuggling close as I exited the med-bay.

I'd been keeping up with the journal type thing, as well. Whenever I could remember something from back on Earth, I'd jot it down. So far, I had something of an encyclopedia of what that life had been. Of course, I put down my earliest memories so that once they would be replaced, I had something to read and tell me what I'd lost. I also made sure to put down as many facts and details- even descriptions- of all the games I'd ever played, though mostly, I detailed ME.

I walked across the mess hall, seeing everyone was eating breakfast, and boarded the elevator. It had been two and a half weeks since Feros and most everyone was still a little afraid of me or hated me. The only people that even tried to make nice with me were Shepard and Liara, sometimes Tali. The others just didn't talk to me. Wrex was in his own category; he didn't really care either way.

The elevator reached deck four and let me off. I walked to the CC and entered, going straight to the main table. I set Ciria down on the floor and she began to wander around, exploring the room. I looked down at a beat up set of Krogan armor that lay on the table in wonder. It looked like Wrex's family armor; we'd just finished the mission about an hour before. I picked up the note on top of it and read the short message.

_Show me what you can do._

_-Wrex_

I smirked at the challenge, just imagining Wrex's chuckling deep voice. I put the note down on a side table and retrieved five relics from my 'stash'. I set them down on the table by the armor and picked up the precision torch.

"I'll make it so good you'll have to wear it." I muttered, smiling at the prospect of such a thing. I liked a good challenge, and the fact that Wrex was letting me tinker with his family's heirloom caused a rush of pride escalate down my spine. Then again, maybe he just wanted to have a use for the armor so he wouldn't have to just lug the stuff around wherever he went. Either way, I was glad to help him out.

…

After eight hours of working, feeding Ciria and struggling, I was interrupted by a hand on my shoulder. I instinctively tensed at the unexpected touch, but kept myself from attacking the person in reflex as I deactivated the torch. I turned to see Shepard and sat down in the chair by my table. She sat as well, taking her usual chair beside of me.

"Have a minute to talk?" she asked, as usual.

"I suppose I could take a break. What do you need?" I asked. She smiled slightly and relaxed into her chair.

"I just want to talk. I'd like to know more about you." She said. I was a little taken aback by her statement, but I remembered I did that with my Shepard in the games as well. Still, I was surprised she'd want to know about me. Of course, I was the only of my kind left…

"What do you want to know?" I asked, crossing my legs, thankful I'd recalled more from my original life.

"What are your people called?" she started.

"The Vertoak." I answered. She nodded her head slowly, her brows raised a bit.

"Cool name. What were they like?" I knew what she was getting at, so I figured I'd just tell her what I'd managed to remember so far.

"We were like a mix of various species you see nowadays. Our average lifespan being about twelve-hundred years, we learned to meditate and seek peaceful endings to problems like the asari. We had an instinctual temper though, like most Krogan, only worse; we were known as 'Wise Berserkers' to many other races because of the contradiction." I said.

"How was it that that happened?" she asked, obviously interested.

"Originally, we were smart and tactful predators, using our 'Bloodrage' to destroy others and such. After a while, we had something of a mass revelation and rose above ourselves, to become what I described earlier. Since we were so deep-rooted in instinct though, we still went into a Bloodrage when angry enough." I explained, a little surprised at how I was content in sharing such information with the Commander.

"How bad is it?" she inquired, leaning forward on her knees.

"Imagine an exploding volcano. Normally, once the rage builds up enough, our bodies transform into demonic monstrosities, unable to control ourselves in the least. There are different 'Shifts', but even the lowest can be dangerous. A warning sign is built in though, so others know when to run away." I said, lacing my fingers together.

"What's the sign?" she asked.

"As it builds, our eyes start to shift and change color. It'll grow increasingly more vivid and once they've gone completely red and glow strongly, there's no calming the victim." I said.

"Victim?" she asked.

"The Bloodrage is so powerful it can be useful when used against enemies, but it's extremely painful and straining on the body. Because of the sudden transformation and boost in power, it multiplies the damage done to itself. The higher shift you go, the worse the damage is." I clarified.

"How do you make it stop?" she wondered.

"Once we've gone into a full-out Bloodrage, there is no way to stop it. You just have to wait it out until the rage is completely spent."

"Have you ever gone through one?" Shepard asked, curious no doubt. I smiled slightly and crossed my arms in thought.

"More than I'd care to admit. The first time, I went so far I almost died, so you can imagine how bad it is. Anyway, what else did you want to know?" I asked, effectively closing the subject. She almost looked crestfallen, but held it in as she leaned back once more.

"Any other traits of your people I should know about?" she asked. I blew out a chuckle as a memory resurfaced from back then.

"We hold honor and valor very highly, though I know it's hard to believe with what I just told you. Those two things were what kept us in control of ourselves at the beginning of our rise from the monsters that we were. I'll tell you now; the mass revelation happened thousands of years before I was born. Before I was imprisoned we were even more advanced than the technology in existence right now." I subtly changed the subject before she got all sympathetic on me.

"Really? Were your people super smart or something?" she asked, a tad incredulous at my admittance.

"In your standards, I suppose you could say that, but think of it this way; you, um… say, Isaac Newton or Einstein lived for as long as I would normally. How much more advanced would your people be if it were true?" I said, getting an understanding nod from her.  
>"Besides, we had other species to work with as well. One of our closest friends was the Viera. They were long lived as well, but they didn't have much of a temper. I suppose the closest comparison I could put them to would be… elves. The humans still call them that right?" I asked, getting a chuckle and a nod from the commander.<p>

"Yeah, we do. What kind of music or art did your people have, though?" ah, a culture question. I was wondering when she'd get around to that. I didn't remember much, but at least these were general questions.

"We were full of all sorts of music and art; much like humans, though we never screamed or talked in our songs…" I said, getting another chuckle from Shepard. Suddenly, I felt a tug at my pants and I looked down to see Ciria looking up at me with a 'puppy-eyes' expression. I reached down and slipped my hands around her small body and drew her into my lap where she curled up and snuggled into my lower stomach.

"Did you ever sing or play instruments?" she asked. I smiled slightly, hiding the pride I felt at the realization I could probably play a few; my father and music master had always worked me to the bone to learn such similar instruments, along with singing lessons. They said it was a tradition not to be messed with, or something. I found it strange how the human instruments and Vertoakan instruments were so similar, but I suppose it was better than not having anything in common…

"More than you would believe. If you ever want me to play something, just ask; I'm out of practice anyway." I said it before I could stop myself and as Shepard's smile grew wide and bright, I severely kicked my ass on the inside. I'm not supposed to be her friend, Goddamnit!

"I'd like that. Expect me to bring you several instruments later." She half-teased, making me hate myself more. I simply nodded in return and watched as she stood and left the room. As soon as she was gone, I let out a deep sigh and grabbed the precision torch from the table. I carefully lifted the fast asleep Ciria and set her in the chair as I stood so I could continue working on Wrex's armor.

…

After another three hours, I managed to finish Wrex's family armor. I'd had to strip it down as I had with Shepard's armor and inlay it with my relics' Solinium along with a weave of palladium for the cooling/heating system. I made the helmet retractable as well, though the shape and dimensions were hard to figure out originally. After that, I gave the inner armor an eezo booster. It was really just a concentrated and refined flow system so it could tap into Wrex's implant and magnify the power of it without damaging him or it in any way. Well, theoretically, anyway…

I signed my name inside the breastplate again and smiled at my ingenuity. Shaking myself out of it, I packed the armor back into its crate and closed it. Ciria jumped into my jacket's hood before I could leave, and started to lick the sweat from the back of my neck. I figured she just really liked the taste of my sweat and blood because she attacked every opportunity to do so when they came. Vampire pet! Yeah, never mind…

I made my way into the elevator, carrying the crate and ignoring Ciria's antics as I pushed the button for the third deck. Once there, the doors opened to reveal only Wrex, standing alone in the cargo bay. I was confused as to why everyone was gone already, but brushed it off as I approached him. He looked over to me as I neared, his expression unreadable.

"I believe I have a special delivery for Urdnot Wrex?" I said, earning a humorous grunt from him. I set the crate in front of him and opened it, letting him look down at it. It took a few moments, but soon, he reached down and pulled the armor free of its crate to hold it up. He examined it for a small while before looking back at me with a look of… satisfaction, maybe?

"You did better than I figured, Raegas. It _might_ even be better than my current armor." He conceded, smirking as if proud of himself. I simply gave him a smirk of my own and shrugged.

"I'll let you be the judge." I said. At his confirming grunt, I turned and walked back into the elevator.

**A/N: Sorry, not much action here, but I figure a small break will help things along, a bit… I guess… IDK. We need info chapters too you know! Oh, and did anyone get that FF reference? Yes, no?  
>Anyway, review and tell me what you think! XD<strong>


	8. Shore Leave And A Bit Of Deja Vu

**Disclaimer: I own only my OC(s), as you all know.**

**Stilphyell: I appreciate it man, thank you! I am trying to weave everything together so it comes out nice and neat at the 'end', you know? Either way, I'll do my best! **

**Hopelessly Blue: I'd say it's awesome, indeed! ^.^ I too wish I had an Ulaeviel as well, but I suppose dreams will have to do, eh? I'm glad you got the FF reference as well; I **_**may**_** have put it there just for you. ;) And how perfect a name is Wrex for a bulldog! XD I approve.**

**Liege Lord: Yes, yes, the horror. XD I hope the crew comes around soon, yeah?**

"Shore leave?" I asked, genuinely confused. Shepard laid a hand on my shoulder, a serious expression on her face.

"Yes. You need to lighten up for once, you know; taking everything so seriously is unhealthy." And there's the kicker. Why is it that whenever someone thinks themselves my friend, they insist on my personality being unhealthy? As Joker so helpfully put it; the world doesn't hand you anything if you go around smiling like an idiot.

"My personality is unhealthy?" I asked, a tone of annoyance sneaking into my voice. She only nodded her head in confirmation though, ignoring my bite.

"I wouldn't quite say it's your personality, but maybe you just need to relax. Not once have I seen you actually smile." She declared, poking an accusing finger at me. I furrowed my brows and frowned, crossing my arms.

"That may be, but I find the fate of your galaxy a more pressing matter. Shore leave is a waste of time." I dismissed, sitting back down at my table and picking up a spare piece of tech. Shepard stepped to my side, her hands on her hips, telling me she wasn't about to give up.

"It is not a waste of time. Shore leave allows crew members to rest and recoup, eat real food for once and _relax_." She strained the last word, obviously directing it at me. I sighed and looked up at her, not moving.

"That's fine for you humans. I need no rest now, am fine with rations, and absolutely do not _relax_." I said, my own stubbornness getting the better of me. She simply narrowed her eyes on me as I spoke, no doubt unhappy with my disregarding her shore leave. The rest of the crew was already gone- even Joker- while I stayed behind. Shepard came back for me once she realized I hadn't left, but it was pointless; I didn't want to 'hang out' on the Citadel.

"Fine, do what you want. Shore leave won't end for another five days, I'm sure you can handle being alone that long?" she said, practically stomping off. I had originally been surprised by her so-called child-like urges, but it wasn't long before I was forced to get used to it. I suppose Shepard had a right to it anyway, since she was forced into all of this.

It had been another two weeks since I gave Wrex his new armor. Oddly enough, we hadn't gotten word on Noveria, so I figured nothing had happened yet. In the meantime, we were all stuck doing side missions and such. Ciria had continued to grow well, her health keeping strong so far.

I felt a tug on my pants and looked down to see said Ulaeviel. She looked restless and fidgety, if constantly moving was anything to go on. I sighed and picked her up, feeling the soft, thick fur of her coat. Once in my lap, she stood on her small hind legs and rested her tiny paws on my chest. I could almost see the look on her face, telling me I was just being mean to Shepard.

"Quiet you. I'm just stubborn." I said, arguing when I knew I didn't need to. She let out a small whine and cocked her head on question. I knew she was saying she wanted to go outside and see the Citadel, but I just told Shepard…

I sighed again, but stood, setting Ciria on the top of the table. I donned my jacket, given to me by Liara, and got situated. As soon as I was done, Ciria jumped into my hood and snuggled into my neck, laying her head on the crook of my neck. Once I knew she too was situated, I set out, holstering a pistol on my hip for safety.

…

"Usually, this set would be much more expensive, but for such a pretty lady, I'll let you have a discount." The Turian behind the counter said, leaning forward a bit. I kept myself from punching him in the mandible for getting in my space.

"I appreciate it, sir." I said simply, handing him the due amount of credits. He took the money and handed me the armor crate. He bid me a last farewell as I left, actually having the audacity to give me his number. Unfortunately, I'd already been on the citadel for about an hour, and I've accumulated several; one of them was from a hanar. I know, it's strange.

I headed into another store, ignoring Ciria's playing with my hair, and headed to the front desk. A human female greeted me warmly, a bright smile on her face.

"Good day, miss. What can I get for you today?" she inquired happily, bowing slightly.

"I'd like a supply of what's available from this list." I said, handing her a list I'd made earlier. It consisted of materials I'd need if I was to continue messing with armor and such. There was also a small portion of the list constituted of food. She looked it over for a few moments and smiled when she was finished, looking back up at me.

"I'll just be a few minutes." She said, going into the back room.

About four minutes later, she came back out with a cart of crates with the supplies I'd asked for, datapad in hand. She came back to the front desk and handed me the pad. I set the delivery address for the Normandy and signed it in Shepard's name for security reasons. I gave the pad back to her just as Ciria popped out from my hair to see what was happening. The girl jumped a bit, but soon broke into another wide smile, cooing at Ciria.

"She's just the cutest thing!" the girl exclaimed, her heightened voice straining on my sensitive ears.

"Yes, Ciria gets that often." I said, picking my armor crate up and turning to the door. A hand on my shoulder stopped me and I turned back around to see the girl was now nervous-looking.

"Um, well… My name's Jane. What's yours?" she asked, holding her hand out to me. I took it and shook momentarily.

"I'm called Raegas." I said. She smiled brightly and whipped her Omni-tool out before I could move. Seconds later, a beep sounded from my own as it lit up, telling me I acquired another number. Great. I quickly bid her farewell and left, heading for the next store.

…

It wasn't long before I came across a strange public spectacle; an asari was on the floor, holding her cheek and staring up at what looked like a turian merc. I found myself feeling enraged at such a scene, and since it was a deserted piece of the markets, I immediately approached. As I neared, both noticed me and looked over. The turian sneered and held his pistol up at me while the asari fixed me with a pleading expression as if to tell me to run away.

"Stay back!" the turian demanded, seemingly a greenhorn of sorts. His voice was still that of a young turian at least.

Without hesitation, I kept walking forward, purposely dropping my armor crate to the ground in the process. He was startled when I did so and accidentally discharged his weapon, sending bullets to slam into my body. I kept walking, albeit a bit slower, my anger rising. I could feel the Bloodrage's beginnings in my body and felt my eyes begin to turn. I'd always had a temper when it came to things like this.

Seemingly freaked out by my lack of reaction when he'd shot me, the turian boy dropped his gun. I finally got to him and immediately punched him so hard it knocked him out. His limp body dropped to the ground and Ciria got a little fidgety as if sensing I was injured.  
>My healing capabilities were slower than usual, most likely a side effect of my lack of nutrition, and so I was healing at a rate similar in speed to a human. I knelt down in front of the asari woman and got a small packet of medi-gel out. I squeezed some out into my hand and moved hers out of the way so I could get a good look at the injury. It was bleeding a bit, but it wasn't too bad. I felt my anger recede as I gently applied the medi-gel to her face.<p>

"Thank you. I don't want to think of what would have happened if you hadn't come." She said quietly, taking my hand in her own and squeezing slightly. I wasn't used to such closeness, but I kept from moving as I finished with her cheek.

"It's alright. You're safe now." I said softly, removing my palm from her face. Her other hand came up as I withdrew and covered my abdomen. Her face grew very worried once her hand returned with blood smeared all over it. I was trying to ignore the burning sensation in my gut, but it was steadily getting worse.

"You!" I whipped my head around to see three pissed off turians with their weapons trained on me. I reached behind me and pulled Ciria from my hood. I plopped her down into the asari's lap, and then stood, placing myself in between them and the turians.  
>"You're the one that screwed up my little brother's initiation!" I figured he was talking about the kid I knocked out a few moments before.<p>

"So?" I asked, subtly reaching for my pistol. Good thing I brought it.

"So I'm going to screw you up!" he yelled, pulling the trigger. His bullet slammed into my chest just a second later, causing a sense of déjà vu to overtake me as I pulled my pistol from its holster. Instantly, I reached up and pulled the trigger on the older brother's two friends, taking them out; really good thing I've been getting practice on those side missions. He flinched and jumped behind cover before I could attack him myself. Why none of them were wearing shields, I didn't know, or care; it just made him an easier target.

While he was hiding, I pushed the emergency button on my Omni-tool with increasingly bleary eyes. I was losing blood quickly and I couldn't help but call myself a fool. At least I wasn't going to go into a Bloodrage; that would've ended up killing everyone nearby.

And to think this was just the first day of shore leave, too.

The big brother suddenly jumped from his cover, aiming between my legs at the asari. I immediately crouched down as he shot, sending the bullet into my lower stomach instead. I pulled the trigger on him, hitting him in the shoulder, knocking him back. I grabbed the turian boy's collar and used all of my strength to toss him to the older brother. Unfortunately, the strain caused a wave of nausea to rush me.

"Take him and go or suffer the consequences." I hissed darkly, donning a steady standing position as well as I could. The turian quickly grabbed his brother and fled.

Once I was sure they were gone, I dropped to my knees, my breath coming in ragged gasps. I felt arms encircle me from behind and I didn't resist as they drew me into the asari's body. It wasn't as if I could've if I wanted to anyway…  
>"Ow…" I muttered as the asari pressed a hand to my stomach. It was the one that was bleeding the most.<p>

"Oh Goddess, please let her be okay!" the prayer-like whisper was all I heard as darkness greeted me.

…

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEE-

Shepard cut the urgent beeping of her Omni-tool off and looked at it. There was one high priority message in her inbox, telling her it had most likely to do with someone from the Normandy. She hoped it wasn't another drinking request from-…

_Commander Shepard-_

_C-Sec received an emergency beacon approximately half an hour ago from a member of your crew. She had protected an Asari from harm by members of a gang present in the lower markets and sustained three gunshot wounds to the torso. _

_She is currently held in the ER, undertaking surgery in the Grimwood Hospital._

_ My Regards,_

_ Executor Pallin_

Shepard cursed as she closed her Omni-tool and started for the hospital.

…

As Shepard reached the hospital, she all but ran to the ER. As she arrived, she saw into one of the windows, the scene inside causing her to pale. It was the last person she expected to be on that table; Raegas was in the ER. Shepard's blood ran cold as the realization of what the woman did hit her; _'protected an asari from harm… three gunshot wounds… surgery…'_

Shepard's hands flew to the glass as she looked on, helpless to do anything. Nurses and doctors and surgeons rushed around the room, struggling to keep Raegas' weak pulse existent. They used all the medical medi-gel they could, trying to close the wounds in time to cauterize them.  
>The blood kept gushing out though, all of it everywhere, coating clothes and sheets in the process. Shepard clutched her stomach as she realized they had forced Raegas to stay awake in an effort to keep her from going into shock. The young woman's pained expression and bared teeth sent a chill down the Commander's spine.<p>

"Come on, Raegas…!" she whispered, her gaze fixated on the injured woman. Suddenly, one of the surgeons jammed two fingers into one of the bullet holes, causing Raegas to bite back a scream of pain. Some debris must've escaped into her wounds from a modified shredder bullet. The surgeon soon pulled out a chunk of metal and threw it into a tray, moving to the next bullet hole.

Shepard turned away, unable to stand the sight anymore. She realized her heart was beating against her chest, a strong wave of anxiety overtaking her. The Commander opened her Omni-tool and sent a message to the rest of the ground team; if those who still didn't believe Raegas to be a good person saw this and disregarded it, she didn't know what she would do. Maybe beat them to death…

…

"What happened, is she alright?" Shepard turned from the gruesome sight in the ER surgery room to see Liara and Tali rushing up to her. She gestured to the window and they looked in, a panicked expression overtaking Liara's features. Shepard couldn't see Tali's expression, obviously, but she seemed concerned by the wringing of her hands.

"She protected an asari woman from a gang in the lower markets by herself about an hour ago. Three gunshots to the torso." Shepard answered quietly, looking back into the window. A gasp emanated from the two women as they looked on.

A minute or two later, the rest of the ground team arrived. Wrex didn't quite look worried, but as he saw into the window, he seemed… thoughtful. Ashley seemed guilty so Shepard figured the Chief was over her suspicion of Raegas. Kaiden looked in then went to sit in a chair by the other wall. Garrus was quiet, but as Shepard filled him in on what happened, he sat down, deep thought crossing his expression. Shepard could only hope Raegas would be alright…

**A/N: Oh my gosh! Raegas got hurt! I hope she'll be okay…**

**Review or PM me if you want her to live! … JK XD **


	9. Waking Up And Getting Out

**Disclaimer: I just own my OC(s), you guys. Sorry.**

**Liege Lord: Yes, I suppose Raegas should've done so, but I don't think she planned on staying out so long, let alone getting into a firefight, you know? Shield generators from now on would be a good idea.**

**Stilphyell: Yeah, staying awake during a surgery where they plunge their fingers into you is quite uncomfortable. Oh, and I do hope Ciria and that cutie-on-the-floor-being-threatened-by-a**hole are alright. XP**

**Hopelessly Blue: Hah ha! Yeah, I definitely would've paid to see that as well, but you never know: maybe that hanar will return… *conspiratorial smirk* In any case, I figure Raegas is just really hot, but the pheromone thing may accompany her body's functions or something. It would actually explain something I have planned down the road, so watch out: you may see something that supports your wanderings! XD And, of course there will be much shenanigans to be had! ;) **

I awoke slower than I'd have liked, pain reasserting itself into my body. I knew I still hadn't healed thanks to my lack of nutrition and sleeping, but I'd just have to fix it later. I felt a hand holding mine and I found it to be a strange, yet not unwelcome sensation. I wasn't used to it, but at least it wasn't making me feel trapped as touch normally did. My eyes were still closed, but I could smell several people in the room, mixed emotions in most of them.

"Ooww…" I groaned, forcing my eyes open. Immediately, everyone in the room crowded my bed, staring down at me. I glanced around and saw that it was Liara holding my hand. I let out a pained breath and blinked hard, trying to focus my dry and blurry eyes.

"You shouldn't have taken on that gang by yourself, Raegas!" Shepard scolded from my right, sitting in a chair beside of Liara, closer to me.

"What else was I supposed to do? Leave that girl to get hurt, or worse?" I said rhetorically, my usual tone seeping in. I may have been injured, but I wasn't about to let my walls come down and get all mushy.

"You could've died back there!" Ashley said from a chair on my left. I regarded her neutrally, lowering my brows in a slightly peeved expression. And yet, I was still a tad confused as to why anyone was here.

"And you would care, why?" I asked, not actually seeking an answer. She was quiet and looked ashamedly to the ground as Liara got my attention.

"You could've called one of us, Raegas." She said gently, her voice almost knowing.

"I didn't have time to think about it…" I said, looking at her almost apologetically. "I'm sorry I got blood all over the jacket you gave me as well; I didn't want to…" I added quietly, taking a ragged breath at the end. She smiled softly and shook her head as if to say 'don't worry about it'.

"Listen; just make sure not to do this again, alright?" Shepard said. I nodded and sat up even as my body screamed in protest. I put most of my weight on my arms though, to try and soothe it a bit.

"Can I leave? I need to get my stuff from the 'crime scene'." I said, still holding Liara's hand as I moved to get off of the bed. Shepard stopped me with a hand on my chest though, making me groan in pain. She withdrew her hand instantly, but kept in my way.

"The C-Sec officers who found you and the asari brought the armor case and Ciria to the hospital already." Shepard said. As if in answer, Ciria jumped onto my bed and made a beeline for me. She crawled onto my lap and snuggled into it comfortably with a small yawn. I lay back against the raised bed with a contained breath, relieved to see Ciria was alright.

"Fine, but when can I leave?" I asked.

"Knowing you, I figure you'll disregard the recommended extra day bed rest, so you can leave whenever you want. As long as you have one of us with you at all times for the next two days. Just in case." Shepard said, making me subtly glare at her. I didn't want a babysitter.

"I can take care of myself, Shepard. The only reason I am not in full health as of now is the lack of nutrition in my body; I haven't eaten in two days, or slept in four." I said, earning incredulous looks from everyone.

"Why?" Tali asked, shocked at my self-abuse.

"I have always had insomnia." I said simply.

"But why haven't you eaten?" Kaiden asked. I hadn't noticed he was in the room.

"I guess I just… forgot to?" I said, mostly to myself. I had recently remembered my people don't have to have three meals a day, so we didn't get hungry as much. Of course, if we worked a lot or went into a complete Bloodrage, we'd be really hungry.  
>Shepard's sudden grip on my forearm got my attention, so I looked back at her to see she had a sneaky smile on her face. She looked triumphant or something, but why…? Oh, yeah, this meant I'd have to do the 'shore leave' stuff. Damnit…<p>

"Then I'm going to take you to eat! I'm hungry too, so it works out." She said. I shrugged lightly, unable to find a reason to get out of it. Honestly, I was hungry, so I didn't mind too much.

"I'll join you." Liara volunteered.

"Sure. Anyone else?" Shepard invited, looking to everyone.

"Yeah, I'll go." I was a little surprised to see Ashley volunteer to join us, but shook it off as Tali also said she'd come along.

Shepard and Liara helped me get up from the bed and get dressed. It was nice of Liara to bring along a new set of clothes for me, and she even got me what would pass as tomboy clothes with dark colors. I found it amazing that she just seemed to know what I liked to wear. Then again, she had a sense for clothing and stuff. It probably came from having a matriarch like Benezia as a mom.

Soon, Ciria was in my new jacket's hood and our small group was slowly making our way to the restaurant. We made small conversation, most everyone just asking me stuff about my people. Why they were interested was a mystery to me, but at least I wasn't being interrogated or glared at for once.

I looked up, smelling something out of place, and caught sight of something that wasn't supposed to exist.

**A/N: Short short short! I'm really sorry, but I had no choice! I have to hop on a damned plane soon, and I won't be close to an internet connection for a few days, and I figured you all would want to at least have a little bit of Raegas before I disappear, right? That's what I thought. ;)**


	10. Meetings And Messages

**Disclaimer: Again, I own only my OC(s). **

**Hopelessly Blue: Ha ha ha! Yeah, I'm not sure why Liara's being so nice to Raegas, but maybe we'll find out soon? XP Honestly, I also romanced Liara every time- she's just so cute and adorable! XD Although, I don't quite know how everything's going to turn out, ya know? :D I do hope you're alright, after that lightning episode, too! ;) Thanks, it made my day!**

**Liege Lord: lol! I'm not admitting anything! XD You'll just have to find out soon, now won't you? ;) And yeah, I hope Liara doesn't actually want to study, study her… like, on a table… ~-~**

**Stilphyell: Oh, you guys are ganging up on me now? *sigh* Oh, well, I suppose it would be an adorable relationship if it ever happened, but it's Raegas' choice to get with who she gets with… well, mostly anyway. XD**

**A/N: Check out my profile picture; it shows Raegas, just so you know. ;)**

**A/N: Okay, sorry for the small wait, but as I said before, I was off the grid. -_- Anyway, let's get this started, shall we? I believe we ended on a nice cliffhanger, yes?**

I looked up momentarily and caught sight of something that wasn't supposed to exist.

Saiga, my younger brother, Ayldrik's, Ulaeviel partner. She loped toward me, her large body carrying her quickly across the walkways, disturbing every bystander along the way. Everyone noticed her as I had, but kept back, where I rushed forward as fast as I could in my weakened state.  
>Seconds later, Saiga jumped a meter from me, reaching her paws out as she flew forward, me reaching out with my arms. An instant later, we collided and she landed on top of me, licking my face and snuggling close affectionately. I couldn't help but smile as I dug my fingers into her impossibly thick fur, petting her in return, even as my wounds began to burn more.<p>

After a bit of hugging and snuggling, Saiga let me sit up. Ciria popped out from my hood and jumped at Saiga, playfully tackling her. A second later, two other Ulaeviel came into my view, pushing me back down to the ground and pushing their noses all over me, snuggling and licking as Saiga had. These two were also my other two younger brother's' and sister's' partners, Raja, Kareck's partner, and Waru, Jasin's partner.

Again, it was a little while before they all let me up. While they were checking Ciria out, I glanced up to see my three younger siblings, jogging up, out of breath. I smiled even wider as I saw them, but couldn't get up to greet them. I suppose it didn't matter seeing as how they crouched down and wrapped their arms around me as soon as they got to me.

"Sorry sis, we had a time trying keep up with these troublemakers!" Jasin said, catching her breath.

"Yeah, as soon as they caught scent of you, they took off! It was ridiculous…" Kareck added, chuckling ruefully.

"We just woke up a few minutes ago, though; I guess we're a little out of shape, huh?" Ayldrik said, chuckling to himself.

"I take it you all made it in the evacuation, then?" I asked, to which they nodded. Ayldrik looked down at Ciria then, a sad yet happy look crossing his face. He and I both knew my partner died protecting me back before I had been imprisoned. She had died so I could get there- to safety.

"Looks like Ciria's been reborn, sis. I'm happy." He said, looking back at me. I nodded, smiling a bit.

"I suppose, but that means I have to raise her all over again." I fake-complained, earning a laugh and a slap from him.

Saiga looked back to me and rubbed her face against mine in greeting, a soft cooing noise emanating from her throat. I returned the favor by scratching her head once more before the large creatures finally let me up. I craned my neck to see everyone standing far away, probably thinking the Ulaeviel would attack them if they were too close. I gestured for them to come closer, and they did, Shepard looking more curious as she approached.  
>Once she got to me, she crouched down at eye level with the large Ulaeviel. The four of them shared a moment, and then the three partners looked between her and me as if thinking something mischievous. Suddenly, the three pushed their noses at Shepard, sniffing her and rubbing against her in greeting.<p>

Soon, all of us stood, the Ulaeviel easily reaching to my hips on all fours. Ciria was back in my hood as well, snuggling and rubbing against my neck happily. I was gratified to know she had playmates now and older Ulaeviel to learn Ulaeviel things from. I introduced everyone and the partners studied and sniffed the group before rubbing against them. I could've sworn I saw something spark between my siblings and a few of the group, making me think they now believed in 'love at first sight'. Well, maybe… I was bad at these things…

In any case, we all went to eat, all the while talking and sharing hilarious stories with each other. Once to the actual restaurant, we got enough food to feed a garrison- and ate it all. Good thing it was buffet day or whatever; otherwise, all of it would've cost a fortune. Of course, with the money Shepard had, I doubt it would've dented her wallet in the least.

…

I pulled my shirt from my body and set Ciria down as I stretched, tired and sore from the happenings of the day. Luckily, all of the food I'd eaten got me the nutrition I needed, so the wounds were mostly gone, although I was sore since my body still needed sleep. I slipped into the covers and got situated as Ciria snuggled into my front. I'd just fed her, so she'd be asleep soon, no doubt.

A few minutes later, the door to my room opened, admitting Ayldrik and Saiga. She licked my face until I opened my eyes, pushing her face away from mine. Ayldrik kneeled down and regarded me, holding a datapad. I looked at it for a moment before returning my gaze to him.

"I know you're probably settled right now, but please, I want you to take this to Shepard." He said, indicating the pad in his hand. I let out a breath and yawned, knowing he'd not leave me alone until I did so.

"Why not take it to her yourself?" I grumbled, unmoving.

"You know her better than I do, and if I just walk up to her with a random datapad, it may give her a strange impression…" he muttered, frowning slightly.

"So…? What's it for, anyway?" I sighed, blinking slowly.

"It's got a few details about us and such; an introduction, sort of…" he finished, relatively lamely, glancing down. Why he had to take care of it all now, I had no idea, and I couldn't say I was happy about it. I doubted Shepard would've minded him giving her information; in fact, she probably would've appreciated it or something. Either way, I had a feeling Ayldrik wouldn't leave me alone until I actually got up and agreed to take it to the Commander.

"Now…?" I drawled, peering at him hopefully. He nodded, making me groan, crestfallen. "Fine…" I sighed, sitting up, much to Ciria's dismay. She whined, annoyed that I moved, and looked up to take in the situation. Saiga pushed at her to wake her all the way up as I stood from bed. I took the pad from him silently.

"Thanks sis." he said, giving me a peck on the cheek. I hummed in response and waited until he and Saiga left before I did as well. Seeing as how it was midnight, the crew would already be asleep, so I just left. I boarded the elevator, Ciria sleepily following me at my heels. I pushed the button for the second deck, intent on getting it over with so I could go back to bed.

Once the slow ass elevator finally got me to the second deck, I stepped out and yawned again. I groggily made my way to Shepard's quarters, barely registering Kaiden staring at me from his station. I didn't know why, it was only midnight and I was going into Shepard's room to give her something… Okay, that really does sound suspicious.  
>I opened the door to see the lights were off and the only light in the room was emanating from the monitor across the small room from Shepard's seemingly occupied bed.<p>

"Shepard…" I said, evidently startling the poor commander. She jumped and sat up quicker than she should have, drawing her sheets around her slightly. I could've sworn I saw an enormous blush coming from her, but I wasn't sure. I got to her side and kneeled down at almost eye level with her, holding the pad out.  
>"My brother asked me to give this to you right away. It's just some information on stuff, I guess." I said, going ahead and setting the pad onto her bedside table.<p>

"Y-you're not wearing a shirt." Her voice cracked, but I realized it only after I looked down at myself. I remembered I'd not put my shirt back on when I left my room, but with the ship's comfortable temperature, it wasn't a surprise I didn't notice.

"Oh yeah…" I mused aloud, furrowing my brows. "I was in bed when he made me get up. I guess I forgot to…" I added, yawning. "I suppose his getting me up doesn't matter though. I rarely sleep, you know?" I muttered, feeling my relatively-nightly dopiness coming on.

"Are… you alright?" she asked, putting a hand to my forehead. It was comfortably warm, but not overly so. At least she didn't have clammy hands, right? Never mind.

"Why d'you think so..?" I asked, unconsciously leaning into her hand. I guess I was more tired than I thought I was. My eyes lowered and my lids did so as well, the room growing quiet. All I heard was Shepard's thick breathing as it washed over my face gently.

"You don't normally talk like that..." She said. I just let out a breath and tried to wake myself up.

"Mmm. I'll stop bothering you, I s'pose." I muttered, almost whispered, forcing my eyes open and standing before she could say anything.  
>"… 'Night…" I said, making my way out of the room. I didn't hear a reply, but I didn't feel like waiting for one, so I left, closing the door behind me. I glanced down at Ciria, who whined and stood on her hind legs, resting her front paws on my leg. I reached down and picked her up, holding her close to my chest where she snuggled.<p>

I had only taken two steps before Kaiden descended on me, his eyes almost blazing. He pointed a finger at me accusingly, confusing me further.

"Why are you shirtless? Why did you just go into Shepard's room? What were you doing in there?" he demanded, all the while following me as I made my way to the elevator. I didn't want to deal with his drama at the moment, but I figured I had little choice since he kept following me.  
>Once I was at the elevator door, he blocked my way and I regarded him angrily.<p>

"One, because I just came from bed, two, I was giving her a message, three, it's none of your business. Now move." I said lowly, seeing the tensing of his body at my tone. He begrudgingly stepped aside and I got into the elevator, pressing the button for the fourth deck.

**A/N: Hm. Well, it looks like the Normandy has some new family members. I wonder if there really will be pairings soon…? Any ideas for that may give me ideas or something, so review or PM me, 'kay? ;) And, just so you all know, I'm going to have more detail on everything and character types next chapter; this chapter was just one of those, 'oh-my-gosh-Raegas-isn't-the-last-of-her-kind?' and, 'and-she-has-siblings?' things. -_-**


	11. Explanations And Eating Out

**Disclaimer: Oh, just kill me now… I don't own Mass Effect, okay? Every freaking chapter! I just own my OCs!**

**Liege Lord: Glad you liked the pic! :D I do think the shirtless thing was funny in its own way, but honestly, I have no idea why I wrote that; it just happened… XD Anyway, I approve of your 'unhealthy obsession', so keep it coming, eh? XP **

**Stilphyell: Lol, a happy dance! I do hope she opens up to Shepard, but I'm not sure if it'll really happen as early as we want. I don't want a mafia after me though!**

**Hopelessly Blue: Yeah, it really was tough on Raegas until then, thinking she was the last of her kind. Private peep-show! Ha! XD perfect 'Kodak Moment' aside, I found the scene rather entertaining when I reread what I wrote. I decided to keep it since it showed a small side of the both of them we rarely, if ever (so far) see, so… Anyway, I do agree with you on how boring Kaiden is, and as much as I love Liara, I really don't know at this point who Raegas will get with. This damn story is starting to get a mind of its own… ~-~`**

**Kamika111: Daawww! Thank you lots! XD Sorry for taking so long…! **

**A/N: I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE WITH THIS CHAPTER YOU GUYS! ;-; **

**A/N: Also, check out my new profile pic!**

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEE-

I slammed my fist against the alarm, shutting it off. I didn't want to get up since I'd just gotten a few hours of sleep. Unfortunately, it was because of Shepard that I didn't sleep well enough. I didn't know why, but I spent most of the night thinking about her and that damned datapad. I'd even had a strange dream because of it.

I yawned and stretched before waking Ciria up and getting out of bed. I changed into my casual clothes Liara gave me, and picked a sleepy Ciria up, setting her in my hood. She curled up inside of it and fell back asleep, no doubt going to sleep for at least another hour. I was a tad envious of her since she could sleep so well and I was stuck with insomnia.

Not to mention my siblings also had trouble sleeping, but I guess that ran in the family or something. I suppose I should explain a bit about them, eh? Alright, keep your pants on and pay attention (it's not that expensive, you know).

Ayldrik was the second oldest of the family. He was very strong and dependable, but sometimes, he could really be stupid. One time, he mistook an extremely poisonous mushroom for some kind of 'foreign' candy, so he ate the damned thing raw. Not one minute later, he was on the ground, laughing as if he'd inhaled an entire tank of laughing gas. Saiga acted as his 'brain' some of the time to keep him out of trouble, but she otherwise looked after him.  
>Kareck was, by far, the most reckless of the family. He often went after ridiculous notions or created extremely dangerous problems with other races. Once, when we were only children, Kareck 'accidentally' blew up a core reactor of a famous Vertoakan dreadnaught, ultimately incinerating it entirely- along with everything in a ten-mile radius. The dreadnaught had been something of a treasure to our race, so you could imagine how furious our father was. When we came back from getting punished, we ended up passing the convoy of another race- friends to the Vertoakan- and, through a bout of complaining, Kareck ended up yelling an extremely slanderous word. That word offended the convoy, given it basically called them 'yeti-faced weaklings', and caused a shit-load of political 'ramifications'. Since Raja acted as his 'punisher', she made sure to beat the shit out of him whenever he did something reckless.<br>Lastly, there was Jasin. She was smart and very dependable, but she too had her 'problems'. She tended to analyze everything, so much so, that she often believed blowing things up fixed everything; just like duct tape. At one time, she managed to destroy an entire block of the main city we used to live in, blow up half the spaceport _and _incinerate the equivalent of a hot dog stand all because she thought the equivalent of a squirrel was following us. A squirrel.

I headed into the CC and was glad to see the four sets of armor by my table. I picked the top one up and opened it, pulling out a set of light human Colossus armor and setting it on the tabletop. I had bought the sets of armor the day before so I could upgrade them and essentially, evolve them. I was going to do to these what I did to Shepard's and the others' that I'd previously upgraded. Then again, I'd probably have to take Ashley's again so I could truly enhance it.

I set to work on it, knowing everyone was probably already gone to hang out at the Citadel attractions. It was best I was alone to work; I never was very good at doing something when someone was breathing down my neck. I set the Solinium inlay together with a palladium weave and installed the extra intelligence network so the helmet could be retractable. After that, I installed Solinium enhanced eezo into the gloves and around the inner armor so a biotic user could control their powers easier. See, the only reason- other than flexibility- biotics wore light or, sometimes, un-modded medium armor was because heavy armor absorbed too much of their own biotic fields, thus decreasing ability and power. Luckily, using this light armor and adding this stuff to the inlay, I'd be able to enhance instead of decrease the biotic field, ultimately creating a biotic power-suit. Cool, huh?

Licking at my neck interrupted me, telling me Ciria was finally awake. I pulled her from my hood and set her onto the floor. I got her some food from one of the compartments and set it down in a bowl in front of her so she could eat. Once she was doing so, I returned to my work.

…

"Hey sis! Raegas!" I shut off the torch in my hand at Ayldrik's calling to see what he wanted. He strode up to me, Saiga at his side, with a big smile plastered on his face. That smile was not inviting for me; it always appeared when he had something planned.

"What?" I asked, crossing my arms and leaning against the table. He clapped my shoulder and shook me a bit, obviously excited.

"Isn't this great? We're alive and together again! Not to mention the whole new adventure we're on; reminds me of the good old days." He grinned, speaking whimsically, looking to the side a bit.  
>"Oh, and speaking of; how about we go and explore his new place? Everyone's waiting, so let's go!" he invited, tugging me toward the door. I grounded myself and stuck to the same spot.<p>

"I am not going to get involved with whatever you're planning. Go and make a disaster of some kind without me, I have work to do." I announced, seeing him furrow his brow and pull on me a little harder.

"You've got to come with us! We can't get into it if you're stuck down here, sulking like you always do!" he argued, actually giving me a pout. I tensed my brows and narrowed my eyes in a peeved expression. He was always trying to drag me into his ridiculous plans- just the same as Kareck always wanted me to help him out with his escapades.

"I do not sulk. I am not stuck anywhere. And I do not want to leave at this moment. Besides, I'll spoil it for you all; just take it all in with new eyes or something, okay?" I said, pushing him out of the door. Saiga was already waiting outside of the room.  
>"Have a nice day!" I called sweetly, shutting the door in his bewildered face.<p>

With a sigh of relief, I stepped back to my table and took up the torch once more. Grasping it securely, I looked down at the armor on the table, wondering what else I could do to upgrade it. Then again, I wasn't so sure leaving them alone to 'explore' the Citadel of all places was such a good idea.

I just hoped they wouldn't blow it up or kill anyone…

…

Two hours later, I felt a hand at my shoulder, interrupting me again. I shut down my tools and turned to see a relatively nervous-looking Shepard. She smiled and I set the gauntlet I'd been working on down.

"Need something?" I asked, making her seem a tad unsure.

"How about you take a break and learn to relax?" she offered. I furrowed my brows, showing my confusion.

"But I..." I started, but she cut me off.

"Come on, Raegas! You need some fresh air." She said, gripping my hand and pulling me along. She led me out of the ship and into the Citadel docking station, into the elevator that led to C-Sec. really, it was more like she was dragging me, but what's the difference?

I looked down at our entwined hands in wonder, unsure as to what to do. Shepard didn't say anything, but tightened her hold on my hand slightly as if to make sure I wouldn't try to get away. Maybe she was starved of contact? What was confusing me though, was the fact that I felt fine holding her hand. Every time someone held my hand, I felt uncomfortable or embarrassed, but… not with Shepard. Odd.  
>As I thought on it though, I realized I didn't mind holding her hand. Normally, I may become annoyed or something akin to it, but as I stared at our hands, I found I too was starved of contact. How strange.<p>

The elevator pinged as we reached our destination, and Shepard pulled me to another elevator. As she pushed the button to make it go, I remembered this elevator led to the presidium. What we would do there, I had no idea, but I didn't really care all that much. Ciria shifted in my hood and seemed to fall back to sleep as we rode along in the slow elevator. Its music was slightly chafing, but I ignored it, much more content in staring at mine and Shepard's entwined hands. It just looked so... right. It felt nice as well, and I could've sworn I was feeling actual emotion as I looked on. Perhaps that was simply a side-effect of physical contact though, I really wasn't sure.

Once more the elevator stopped and let us off in the presidium. It was of a district I wasn't familiar with from the game or the day before. Shepard led me along, the both of us quiet as we walked. I never was good at talking and Shepard wasn't the best at it either, but she wasn't usually this quiet. Normally, she'd be talking to me about a time she accidentally slept with a superior officer's daughter after getting drunken one day, or asking me of my people. I didn't mind her quietness though, and the silence was a mostly comfortable one. Then again, this may give her false impressions. The contact only served a strong reminder to me that I couldn't get close to anyone, or…

After a small while, we came to what looked like a cozy restaurant. Shepard led me inside and we were greeted by an asari waitress, who then took us to our seats. I hadn't noticed before, but Shepard's hand was a little sweaty. As we sat down, she let go of me and glanced over the menu before ordering. I did so as well, shocked that I felt something of a loss when Shepard released me. Once the waitress was gone, a silence fell over our table as I looked around curiously, taking in the surroundings, trying to distract myself.

"Why bring me to eat breakfast on the presidium?" I asked curiously, looking back at her. She shifted in her chair before answering.

"You said you needed real nutrition to heal properly, and since you seem to have a habit of forgetting to eat, I made sure you would have breakfast." She explained. I nodded in understanding, but stopped as I realized her insinuations.

"Hey!" I said, making Shepard burst out in laughter. I had to remind myself then; I can't be her friend. It would only complicate what was supposed to happen, and if I was her friend, I wouldn't be able to trust myself to stay with them. My sudden grim aura seemed to catch Shepard's attention and she calmed down to study me.

"Was it something I said?" she asked, just as our food and drinks came.

"No, I just… I had a strange feeling just now, is all." I said, somewhat speaking the truth. She regarded me for a few moments before breaking into her usual routine of trying to get under my barriers. It wasn't working very well, as usual, but I didn't feel as pressed as I normally did.

Soon, Ciria woke up and began licking my neck. It seemed to have become her call for attention over the past few weeks. I recalled my original partner did the same when she was young, but when she was older she just tugged at my pants or nudged me in some way. Though, when I would stand, she'd revert back to licking me somewhere. I pulled her from my hood and set her in my lap. I handed her a piece of food to snack on and she took it happily. I looked back up to see Shepard was wearing something of an envious expression.

"Something wrong?" I asked, unconsciously using my neutral tone.

"I've always wanted a dog, you know. When I was young and growing up on the space stations, I could never get a pet because we were always moving. Seeing you and Ciria make me feel kind of jealous." She admitted, shifting slightly.

I got an idea, but I wasn't sure if it was a good one. Only problem was, I had a weakness to puppy-eyed people… and crying people. Luckily, Shepard wasn't crying at the moment. I sighed, knowing what I was about to do was stupid. And nice. I was adverse to such a thing, but again, my screwed up loyalty forced me into action.

I picked Ciria up and cradled her in my grip, taking the food from her. She whined a bit, but I stepped to Shepard and handed her the piece of food. She took it confusedly, a bit tense in her seat. She was probably thinking I was about to run away. I set Ciria in Shepard's lap then and let her sniff the Commander and get situated before I let go. I needed to make sure Ciria would accept Shepard as a pillow before just plopping her down. Shepard smiled and gave Ciria the piece of food. I sat down and after a few moments, Shepard looked back to me, still smiling.

"Thank you." She almost whispered. I bowed my head in response and finished off the rest of my food. Shepard did so as well, obviously in a good mood. At least it distracted her from trying to 'get to know me better'.

…

By the time we finished eating it was noon. I stood from my seat before Shepard did and stepped to her, all the while slipping out of my zip-up jacket. Shepard was confused again, but I ignored the mushy act I was just doing and slipped the jacket around her shoulders. She took the hint and poked her arms through the holes that would have sleeves. I zipped it up for her, ignoring the perplexing blush that engulfed her cheeks. I picked Ciria up and set her in the hood where she snuggled into Shepard's neck as she did when she was with me. Shepard stood then and got situated as I looked her over.

"It fits you." I announced. She nodded with a shy-ish smile, looking down at herself. I knew she was enjoying it already, what with a 'puppy' snuggling her neck. It was something she'd always wanted, and a few hours weren't going to destroy the galaxy. It was hot outside anyway.

Of course, what I just did made me realize I may have been growing close to Shepard- even if unconsciously. Not good.

"You're the best, Raegas." Shepard said quietly, lightly punching my shoulder. I glanced around and kept the slight panic urging up my spine, tamped down. If I started acting strangely, Shepard may catch it and ask of it. If she did that, I'd have to up my efforts to keep away from everyone. And, with my siblings here now, I'd have to keep it from them, as well.

"Where are you going to drag me next?" I asked, a slight teasing tone in my voice. It surprised both me and Shepard. She smiled while I kicked my ass on the inside. Damned subconscious was taking over or something, because I was seriously starting to actually be _friendly._

"Why don't we head to a music store? I want to get every one you can play." She said. I nodded in acceptance and Shepard led me along the paths. She wouldn't stop smirking as if satisfied, either. It was perplexing.

…

"Wow. You sure can play a lot of them." Shepard mused, looking at the cart of instruments she'd bought. It consisted of three types of guitars, a drum set, a violin and a freaking piano. Really, I couldn't play the drums or one of the types of guitars, but we got them because my siblings would be able to adapt to these as well. Where we were going to put all of the wastes of space, I didn't know, but Shepard had insisted on getting all of them. Each was extremely expensive, but Shepard was happy to get rid of the money.

"I guess… Where are we going to put these?" I asked, being practical as usual. Shepard shrugged.

"The extra cargo room on the fourth deck should work just fine." She said. I'd wondered what the extra room was for, but since it was empty save for a few crates, I'd shrugged it off. Shepard gave the shop owner the address for drop-off, and then we left.

A few minutes later, Shepard jumped all of a sudden. She gripped my forearm a little strongly and she had a look on her face that made me fight myself to keep from laughing. I looked at her neck and saw Ciria was licking it to get attention. I stepped forward and snaked my hand up Shepard's chest, to the top of her shoulder, mostly to just keep her from moving. She shivered when I did so, but I was so intent on Ciria, I barely noticed it.

"Here, little one." I said softly, giving Ciria more food to eat from my jacket's pocket. She stopped her attack on Shepard and took the food happily. She snuggled back into the hood and began eating on the offering. Shepard released a breath when I stepped back, giving her room.

"Thanks for that. She took me by surprise…" she chuckled to herself lightly, shrugging a tad self-consciously.

"Yeah, she tends to do that to get attention." I responded, yawning. She regarded me for a long moment before continuing our walk.

"You tired?" she asked. I knew she probably knew I had barely slept, and it chafed me a bit. Yet at the same time, I felt… cared for? Maybe…

"I had three hours of sleep last night." I answered, looking down the walkway. Shepard stopped us again and stared at me empathetically. She'd told me she also had slight insomnia, so I understood she knew how it felt.

"You need to get some real sleep, Raegas. I know you have insomnia, but there has to be some way…" she said, somewhat worriedly. I drew my brows together then, unable to find a reason for her to mind. She was always getting into other people's' problems.

"I don't understand why you would care." I commented, crossing my arms. I could've been seeing things, but maybe I saw hurt flash in her eyes before it was replaced by concern.

"It'll be harder for you work or take care of Ciria the less sleep you get." She stated, spreading her arms slightly as if hoping to get her point across easier that way.

"I know, but there hasn't been one day I've slept as I should. Not since before my _species_ was _wiped out_!" I said, narrowing my eyes a bit. How my siblings survived, I had no idea, but there couldn't be any way we weren't the last…

"Then go to Chakwas, she might be able to help!" she countered. I could feel my eyes start to change; I never did well with personal things. Shepard jerked back as she saw my eyes, beginnings of panic in her gaze. That one look did something nothing before had succeeded in doing; it made me feel like the monster I may have been. The corruption solidified the notion in my mind.

"Simple medication can't help me, _human_." My teeth elongated, becoming fangs. "I feel reminding you of what I am, may get my point across." My voice grew almost duo-toned and darker. "Nothing you have is strong enough to affect my body." I finished, almost morosely.

"Raegas…" she began, trailing off helplessly. I turned away and forced myself to stare at the ground. Her sad eyes pulled at me too much. It made me feel like I already didn't deserve redemption. Not that I really ever thought I deserved it. I still had a large memory lapse, but I felt like there was something I may have done wrong…

"Monsters like me shouldn't be allowed to sleep anyway." My duo voice growled, my fists balling up. The Bloodrage and the Corruption inside of me said as much. A hand at my shoulder forced me to turn around and stare deep into Shepard's green eyes. She stared at me seriously, her hands coming up to grip my shoulders.

"You're not a monster, Raegas. Not to me and not to anyone on the Normandy." She stated, causing a stab of emotion to overtake me. I failed in keeping the single tear that ran down my cheek from escaping my scarred eye. Emotion flickered in Shepard's eyes as well, but I kept myself from deciphering them.

"Maybe not." My mournful voice returned to normalcy. "But…" my teeth changed back. "I am to me." My eyes shifted back. Without waiting for Shepard's reaction, I broke from her grip and walked away.

**A/N: Well, if it isn't melodrama, come to pester me once more. Damn you, melo-ness! Ahem… Anyway, please review or send me a PM, whatever works for you. I hope things will turn out alright, though…**


	12. Comforts And Sedatives

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own anything but my OCs, as I have already said. Not that anyone knew that in the first place anyway…**

**Hopelessly Blue: I'm sorry for making you wait so long and paddle alone! I missed you all as well, so don't worry about it being 'one-sided', eh? Anyway, yeah, Raegas' family dysfunctional family is even worse than my own, though I did draw inspiration for Raegas' siblings from my own. O_o I am glad we can continue as well, and I'm not going to make you wait a whole month or anything for these updates. I'm hoping Raegas' soft side will prevail **_**sometime**_** though, for at least one scene, you know? Otherwise, I'd feel as if Raegas was just hurting herself and everyone around her in a way. Yeah?**

**Liege Lord: I'm not so sure about the 'date' thing, but I am sure Raegas had a pretty good time- even if she won't admit it! XD As for offspring, I'm pretty sure it takes two for that; Ciria would need her own mate right? Don't worry though; I'm sure it'll come together sometime. Oh, and if Raegas and Shep actually hook up at all-let alone in the first 'game'- I don't know for sure what will happen. We'll just have to cross that bridge when it comes I guess. ^_^**

**Kamika111: Aw! I'm so glad you reviewed again! ^.^ I hate waiting as much as you do too, so I'll do my best to get these chapters out consistently, 'kay? Anyway, I'm wondering how Raegas will deal with it as well; even if they don't get together, I feel like she should feel **_**something**_** about it, right? Anyway, thanks for the compliments!**

**A/N: Also, I have another new profile pic so make sure and check it out! Oh, and you can request for certain pics as well in a review or something, FYI. XP **

Shepard stared as Raegas stormed away, unable to bring herself to reach out for her. Her words had created a lump in Shepard's throat, keeping her from being able to speak. She felt a shift in said woman's hood as Ciria stood in it to look over Shepard's shoulder. The young pup whined as she stared where Raegas had been only moments before. Shepard patted the pup's head, trying to reassure her, but both knew something had to be done for Raegas. Otherwise, she would eventually break down from the strain on her body.

The Commander started for Raegas' path, but thought better of it. If she was going to help her, she needed to find something that could help Raegas sleep. As an idea popped into her head, Shepard rushed off to the nearest clinic. Then again, what she was looking for may not be in stock…

…

I hadn't really managed to calm myself down by the time I'd gotten to the Normandy. I wasn't in danger of going into a Bloodrage or anything, but the looks Shepard gave me before I left made me feel terrible. Depressed and mad at myself wasn't the best way to go about my day though, so I forced myself to relax once I'd gotten to the CC.

Waru and Jasin were already there though, surprising me a little. They looked to me when I entered. It seemed they noticed my less than foul mood as well. Wordlessly, I stepped up to my table, looking over the armor I'd been working on earlier. I could add a few things and change the color, at least, to distract myself.

"Sis? What's wrong? Where's Ciria?" Jasin inquired, stepping to my side. I clenched my teeth and took a breath before looking back at her.

"I had an… argument… with Shepard a few minutes ago." I answered, cryptic as usual. She laid a hand on my back and started to rub soothing circles into it. She'd always known the rubbing and petting thing did well to calm me down and make me relax. Sometimes, music helped as well. You know what they say, 'Music tames the ravenous beast'… or something like that.

"What happened?" she asked, adding nails to the equation. My eyes went half-lidded in a relaxed state.

"First, she took me to eat breakfast… A ways through, she told me how she felt envious of me and Ciria since she'd always wanted a dog." I scoffed lightly, silently stating Ciria was no dog. "I let her hold Ciria for the rest of breakfast. Once we were finished I gave her my jacket so she could carry Ciria a while longer. After that, she dragged me to a music store where she bought a pile of them just so she could make me play for her." She moved all across my back then, rubbing with her nails lightly. How easily I could be manipulated… I thought bitterly.

"Then…?" she inquired quietly.

"After we left, my body had the audacity to yawn. She asked if I was tired, so I told her I'd gotten a few hours of sleep last night. She started with the lecture of how I was being unhealthy and that I needed to sleep more. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to work, she said." I explained, clenching my fists.

"Your eyes changed?" she wondered, still calm. No doubt she was coming up with some weird idea to fix everything with explosions; like she always did.

"Among other things. The way she looked at me, I felt… It made me feel like the monster I really am. That was what really got me. I don't see why I should care, but…" I trailed off, staring at my hand- the one Shepard had held so much. I didn't understand why she did such a thing. If it was a simple human companionship gesture, then I could understand, but I hadn't seen her to anything like that with others.

"I see. You're not a monster, sis, and you never will be. The only one who thinks that you are is you." She said softly, wrapping her arms around me. I let out a breath and let my head rest on her shoulder as she spoke.

"How could you not think I am? I'm full of the damned Corruption that killed mom…!" I growled, staring at the floor.

"That doesn't matter right now. You're not anything close to a monster because I love you. I, Waru, and our brothers all love you." At her words, Waru pushed closer and nuzzled against me. I dropped a hand to her head and scratched half-heartedly in response.  
>"Now, do try to feel better, alright? Waru and I will be in the med-bay room with Liara if you need anything." I was shocked at her being such quick friends with Liara but I was gratified as well. It was best for my siblings to make friends, maybe even look for a…mate. Just the thought alone, gave me a nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach.<p>

"Yeah." I muttered in acknowledgement. She released me and let Waru nuzzle me a bit more before the two of them left.

I took a deep breath to try and relax before turning to my table once more.

…

I'd finally finished the first set of armor after two more hours of working on it. I'd changed the color to white while the focus points on the armor's eezo flows were light blue. They glowed as well, giving the armor an almost ethereal feel. The armor's shins were fanned out a bit as well to add a level of protection. Luckily, I'd been able to almost eliminate the problem with low coverage/ high flexibility as well. The under-armor inlay was black with small veins on the outside of the legs and sides to give it a better look with the white and for better airflow, of course. Finally, the left shoulder guard spiked up and had two layers of armor for added mobile protection. Not to mention, it looked cool.

"This is my T'soni armor mark one." I muttered, finishing my signature in the breastplate. It was probably stupid to sign whatever I created, but I wasn't about to let someone else take credit for something they wouldn't be able to do. I set it into its crate then and pulled out a set of turian Colossus armor. I didn't want to do this for Garrus, but letting him die would be unacceptable and petty. Besides, I could kill him myself if I _really_ felt like it.

Just a few minute into it though, I felt a hand at my shoulder. I jumped at the unexpected touch and my entire body tensed up. I still hadn't been able to get my mind off of Shepard's expression and because of that I was too absorbed in it to pay attention. Letting someone sneak up on me was careless, but I didn't think anyone would stab me in the back yet. I felt the hand let go as soon as I had jumped as well, so I must've surprised them as well.

I turned myself around to see Shepard, still wearing my jacket, still carrying Ciria, looking nervous. I silently leaned against my table and crossed my arms, finding my emotions coming back. I didn't know why she would try talking to me since we'd just had an argument earlier.

"What?" I asked, keeping my tone civil. I could play at the 'forgetting game' if she really wanted to. I didn't want to, but if Shepard didn't want to talk to me anymore, than that was fine.

I was fine without her. Just fine.

…

Shepard hadn't been sure what to expect when she'd gotten back to the Normandy after finally finding what she'd been looking for, but this wasn't one she'd thought of. Raegas was being the same impersonal person she'd been since she'd woken up, but… it was as cold as it was when she'd first woken up, having no clue where she was. Shepard liked to think she'd at least warmed up a little since then, but it was as if she'd reverted back to it. Raegas just seemed cold and… gone. She was wearing a mask and it caused an unexpected stab of anxiety to twist in Shepard's gut.

"I know you probably don't want it, but it was the best I could find… well, strongest, anyway…" Shepard trailed off, handing Raegas the vial she'd been carrying. Said woman's brows lowered and her eyes narrowed slightly, but she took the vial. After examining it for a moment, she returned her gaze to Shepard. This time, it was less cold.

"Krogan sedative?" she asked, her eyes the only things reflecting her emotions at the moment. Shepard could see uncertainty, confliction and sadness in her eyes, but most of all, she saw… guilt?

"It was the strongest thing I could find. Maybe it can help you sleep." At her raised brow, Shepard held up her hands to keep her from speaking just yet. Raegas lowered her head and stared at the vial in her hand intently, seemingly thinking deeply.  
>"I'm not saying you have to take it; it's your choice. I just want to give you the option." She finished. Raegas' reaction was to her words was completely unexpected…<p>

"Why do you care so much…? Is it so I can keep being your oracle? Is it so I can work on armor, giving my people's secrets to you? Is it-…?" her voice choked off at the end, and Shepard couldn't help the emotion tramping up her system, threatening to break from her.

Slowly, before she even knew what she was doing, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Raegas in a warm embrace. Surprisingly, she didn't react to the gesture at all.

"I care because I care about you." As the words escaped her mouth, Shepard realized how true they were. She hadn't known what she was feeling toward Raegas until just then, and it was ultimately relieving.  
>"I wouldn't care if you stopped being my 'oracle'. I wouldn't care if you stopped working on the armor, if you wanted to. I wouldn't mind if you didn't want to talk about your people anymore. I just want you to be you." She finished, resting her head on Raegas' shoulder. As she spoke, Raegas began to shake slightly as if struggling against tears. Shepard held her closer, savoring the contact that would, no doubt, end soon.<p>

"Why…?" she whispered, tensing slightly.

"Because I can see who you are, as much as you try to hide it. You're kind, giving, patient… not to mention badass…" she said, trying to lighten the mood. Luckily, it paid off when Raegas relaxed a bit, blowing out a small laugh.  
>"I care about <em>you<em>, Raegas. That's why I want to help you." Shepard finished, looking upon the table behind Raegas. Unexpectedly, Raegas' arms came up and snaked around her waist. She held on tightly, still shaking, making Shepard smile in response.

"Dammit… now I can't be mad at you anymore." Raegas' first crack at humor made Shepard laugh quietly. She had had a feeling Raegas would be the sarcastic type. Dry senses of humor had always appealed to Shepard, coincidentally.

"I hope not." They parted then, and once Shepard finally got a look at Raegas' face, she realized she hadn't been struggling against tears; she'd been trying to keep quiet and pretend she wasn't. Shepard wiped the tears from Raegas' face with a smile, happy to see she wasn't trying to hide her emotions so much. She understood how straining it could be.

"This is so melodramatic." Raegas muttered, sniffing a bit. Shepard's smile widened.

"Maybe. But it's better than nothing." Shepard replied. She noticed how Raegas' cheeks were more rosy than usual, and how she seemed shifty as well. She hadn't expected her to be shy, but it was understandable given what she'd gone through.

"I guess… I'm just used to not feeling anything." She said, slipping back to her regular, masked self. Shepard tried not to show the disappointment on her face at it, but she couldn't expect Raegas to just let go of her barriers. Besides, she liked a challenge.

"It's alright. If you ever want to talk though, I'll be here." Shepard said. She got a small smile in return and a nod. She figured it was all she would get for now, so she departed, gratified to know Raegas wasn't angry any longer.

Just when she entered the elevator, she realized Raegas hadn't rejected the sedative. That brought a slightly triumphant smirk to the Commander's lips as the doors closed.

…

Eight hours later, I finally finished Garrus' armor. It didn't look drastically different from a regular set of turian armor, but it did have a better system than regular ones. Well, that was a given, wasn't it? Either way, I hadn't been able to get Shepard out of my head since the first day of shore leave. Now, it was just worse. Working was the only thing that kept me at least focused on something.

I felt a tug on my pants and looked down to see Ciria. Shepard had left her with me before she left eight hours earlier. She kept my jacket though… maybe she just forgot to give it back. I didn't really care, but it was strange. I bent down and filled her bowl of food, petting her to give her some sort of contact. Without my jacket I couldn't very well tote her around or let her snuggle.

"I don't know what to do, Ciria. I can't be friends with Shepard, but no matter what I do, she won't let me be." Ciria looked up at me questioningly to show I had her attention before she returned to her food.  
>"She says these things and I feel like fate is just giving me a punch to the face. If I become involved with her then my judgment will cloud over. As a result, I would ignore how it's supposed to happen, and… save her. I can't do that." I sighed, sitting down and leaning against the table's leg.<p>

"Can't do what?" I glanced up and saw Kareck and Raja standing in the doorway.

**A/N: I somehow feel as if this chapter is rather empty… It's not that nothing happened, but it wasn't as if much did happen, you know? Anyway, review or PM me and tell me your opinion on anything, or if you have any questions and I'll try to answer them to the best of my ability.**


	13. Slang And Finishing Things

**Disclaimer: I'm not even going to bother with trying to write something funny. No one even reads these disclaimers anyway, so what's the point in saying I only own my OCs all funny-like? Exactly.**

**Kamika111: Yes, a quick update; just for you. :D And you really don't think my chapters were crappy? Thanks! I'm so glad you think so! And I guess the foundation thing really makes sense when I re-read what I wrote, so I really appreciate it. And yes, I can understand you perfectly well; you're not actually hard to get at all, you know? :)**

**Liege Lord: Aw, thanks! I do try to hang you guys on good cliffhangers every now and then! ;) Anyway, yeah, I do think that Raegas and Shepard **_**may **_**have something going on, but I don't want to spoil it for you! ^o^**

**Hopelessly Blue: Yeah, soon I'm going to go into more detail about it but for now I don't want to give too much away too quickly, yeah? I do understand what it's like to lose someone, so I'm trying to make it realistic as possible. To know someone cares for you is very vital as well, and with Shepard's caring for Raegas I figured she could be that little light in the darkness for her, you know?  
>And you really liked how I wrote Shepard? I was worried I was coming off too soft or too nice with her or something, so I'm glad you told me otherwise! ^_^ Although we all love Shepard's Commander-ness, we also want to see the human side of her at least a little more, so I thought I'd give her more of a… well a personality, I guess… ~_~<strong>

**Kachie Takahashi: Daaawww! You made my day, I'm so happy to have a new reviewer, yeah? :) Thanks for that as well, and I am glad you like Raegas! And with Shepard's feelings, I admit I too get giddy writing this fic every now and then. ;D I grinned at the end as well! 'Just kiss her already!' that was funny! X_x**

"Can't do what?" I glanced up and saw Kareck and Raja standing in the doorway. He was holding two trays of food.

"I can't create a real set of armor with these pathetic materials. I almost feel sorry for species here." I said, not wanting to let him know the reason for my distress. Raja trotted up to me and plopped down at my side while Kareck sat on the other side of Raja. He handed me a tray of food and we began to eat.

"Raegas?" he asked.

"Hm?" I hummed, taking another bite of the bland ration paste.

"Do you know what a 'boner' is?" he asked, causing me to pause. My brows furrowed and I looked at him suspiciously before sluggishly swallowing my food.

"Um… why do you want to know?" I asked slowly, trying not to sound as if I was about to burst out laughing.

"I was talking with Tali down in engineering a few minutes ago and someone said 'boner' as they walked by. I was confused, as was Tali, so I asked someone else about it." He explained. I blinked, processing this.

"Who did you ask?" I muttered, hoping beyond all hope he didn't ask Ash-

"Ashley." He answered. I actually facepalmed, letting out a heavy sigh. "That's just what she did! But her face was kind of rosy. Oh, but she just told me to come and ask you what it was, so here I am. What is it?" he asked once more, making me purse my lips tightly to keep from grimacing/laughing.

I couldn't tell him what it was! It would get just a little too awkward if I took the time to actually explain the mechanics of it to him. A guy, no less! Oh well, I suppose it made sense, given our people never really had slang words for many things. Still, sometimes Kareck was so clueless I couldn't be sure whether or not father made a mistake and dropped him as a newborn…

Just then, and idea popped into my slightly twisted mind, causing me to smirk. I just wouldn't need to tell Kareck at all. I wouldn't have to worry about it unless my idea backfired somehow and bit me in the ass later. Then again, I'd rather go through with it than try to explain a 'boner' to my little brother.

"You need to ask Shepard for this one, Kareck. I'm completely sure what it is and she's better at explaining things anyway." I said, restraining my grin. Kareck seemed to think for a moment before finishing his food and standing up. Raja stood as well and made her way across the room.

"Good thinking!" he smiled, obviously still clueless. "I'll get right on it and tell you what happened after, so you can know too!" that last part was what made me struggle against myself even more. He was going to tell me? I couldn't wait to hear about Shepard's reaction at least!

"You do that." I managed, covering my mouth with a spoonful of food so he wouldn't see the grin spreading across my face. Moments later, he was gone, heading straight for Shepard. I just hoped she wouldn't come back and chew me out for it. Then again, I wasn't sure if Kareck would tell Shepard whether I sent him or not. Either way, I felt both dread and humor at the current situation bound to screw with someone's day.

Shaking myself out of it, I set Ciria down on the ground and stood once more, facing my table. I set the turian armor into its crate and then closed it. Next up was another set of light human armor, but it was for males. I didn't really like Kaiden much after his mini interrogation a few days before, but I might as well have upgraded him as well. It would keep him alive until we got to Virmire.

I laughed darkly at the insinuations of my own mind. Sometimes I wondered if I was psychotic because of my dark humor. Of course, everyone was a degree of psychotic, right? Well, my people were, anyway. We were such a two-face society, it was a wonder we didn't destroy ourselves. Then again, we were smarter than species these days. After all, we were a tad more evolved than they were and such.

I pulled myself from my musings and got to work on Kaiden's armor. I used methods similar to Liara's armor, but I didn't use so much eezo, or Solinium. If he was going to die soon, then I doubted it mattered too much how good his armor was. Besides, it would be a waste. He was lucky enough I was even using Solinium at all. I still wasn't sure what was really going to happen or if I'd end up being able to help with the whole dying thing, but for now, I was holding my opinion.

…

"Hey Shepard! You got a minute?" Kareck smiled, holding his hand towards the Commander a bit. She was sitting at a table in the mess, drinking what looked like a human drink called 'coffee'.

"Sure, what do you need?" she asked, gesturing for him to sit across from her. He pulled a chair out for Raja before sitting down himself, knowing the Ulaeviel liked to see people head on. He wondered why Raegas' expression was so strange earlier when he asked her about that strange human word, but dismissed it seeing as how he was about to ask Shepard about it.

"So I was wondering…"

…

A while later, I finished his armor as well. You can guess what was next, right? My latest challenge; Tali's Colossus armor. I'd bought all of them myself, so they had no idea they even had these yet, but let's not get caught up in semantics. In any case, I pulled it from its crate and made sure to examine and scan it closely.

"This could do with a major upgrade, but I feel like this will be more technical than straight on armor…" I muttered, cracking my wrists and collarbones. I glanced to the clock and saw that it was already almost 10 P.M. I glanced down and saw Ciria was sleepily playing with a spare piece of tech, teething it. With a small smile, I picked her up and took her to our room. I set her on the bed and let her keep the tech since it was too large for her to chew off or choke on.

Returning to my table in the CC, I immediately set to work on Tali's armor.

…

"Finally…" I muttered, finally finished with Tali's armor. I gazed down at my work, happy that it would be much more efficient with suit punctures and such. The med-system was more advanced than even what a lot of hospitals would have. I also added a few things that could either scare Tali or make her extremely happy; mostly tech abilities. Either way, I put them in just so she could have the choice.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was 5:30 PM already. Everyone would be getting up in a half an hour or so. Hurriedly, I packed Tali's armor into its crate and stacked it with the others. Good thing they were already on a floating cart so I could just push them instead of carry all of them.

First, I pushed the cart into the elevator and tapped the interface for the third deck. After a ridiculously slow ride as usual, the doors opened, showing me the cargo bay. It was empty and the lights were off, so it was gloomy, at best.  
>As I stepped out though, the lights activated, telling me they were motion sensors. I pushed the cart over to Garrus' station by the mako and I pulled out the crate for his armor. I set it down, and then moved to engineering. I put Tali's crate down by her console and leaned it against the railing. Making sure she'd know it was for her, I took the time to add a note that simply said; 'Tali'.<p>

Once finished, I headed back to the elevator and clicked for the second deck then. Again, after a tortuously slow elevator ride, it arrived and I stepped out. I pulled the cart to Kaiden's station and set his crate down by his console as I had with Tali's. Then, I pulled the cart to the outside of the med-bay and picked up Liara's crate. Leaving the cart where it was, I walked into the med-bay to find the doctor sitting at her desk.

Did she ever sleep? She turned when I came in, and regarded me curiously before speaking.

"You don't look like you need medical treatment." She stated. I kept myself from rolling my eyes at the obvious fact, and instead shrugged.

"I have something I need to set in Liara's room, Doctor." I said, answering her unspoken question.

"That should be fine, but do try and be discreet? She's asleep." She said. It was a good thing I knew Liara to be a relatively heavy sleeper. I nodded in understanding and then walked up to said asari's door. Making myself light on my feet, I opened the door and kept my eyes on the floor, looking for a place to put it. I finally just decided to gently set it on the ground by her desk.

My hands came to my mouth to make sure I wouldn't make a noise as I rushed from the room. The door closed behind me once I was out of the way and I let out a breath. The doctor peered at me from her desk as I approached.

"Goodbye." I said. Without waiting for some question undoubtedly on Chakwas' lips, I exited the med-bay. I grabbed the cart outside of the room and trudged to the elevator, pressing the button for the fourth deck.

As soon as I was back to my room, I practically collapsed onto my bed. I hadn't bothered to change clothes or anything, so if someone walked in once I was asleep, they'd know I pretty much passed out. Ciria was still asleep, but as if on instinct, she snuggled into my side. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the sedative Shepard gave me as a mysterious smile slid onto my face. Closing my eyes, I relaxed, feeling it helping even though I hadn't used it.

Maybe it was the idea behind it? Or the memory of how I got it?

I cleared my head, and seconds later, I was out.

…

_Explosions everywhere, dead bodies blocking paths, tripping people. Many run past as I direct them where to run. Ciria runs to my side- panic in her eyes. She understands. We have to escape. I won't let these people die when I can help them. Not this time. _

_Never again._

_Morag runs up to me, his battle armor burned and damaged in several places. I continue on my struggle. A child trips over her mother- dead. I run to her and pick her up. Morag takes her- tries to take me as well. He tries to take me to the escape- I order him to go without me. He has no choice but to obey. He'll be safe now._

_Everyone is gone now- I saved them. Ciria roars, getting my attention. I look up- another abomination. Perhaps this one was once my friend. No longer. Ciria tells me to get away. Save myself. I can't!_

_I run forward to help her. She won't let me. She stays in my way- I can't get a shot at the monster. She's giving me a chance. Tears streak down my face._

_She looks back at me one last time. "Goodbye."_

**A/N: Oh my gosh! Is this another nightmare of what happened before? I think it may be! Oh, and sorry for the short chapter you guys, but I do want to get one out for ya, you know? Anyway, review or PM me and tell me your opinion, ask me a question, or just say hi; I don't mind. ;)**


	14. Answers And Slipping Control

**Disclaimer: yeah, I don't own anything other than my OCs. Big surprise, right? Not really.**

**Hopelessly Blue: Yeah, I was literally snickering as I wrote that part, and thank you for those awesome points! XD I would do that to my own siblings (I actually have) as well and oddly enough, I'm the 'ignored middle child' too! XP I'm glad you liked that 'Kaiden' part, especially since I was a little worried his 'fans' would flame me or something. ;) isn't it wonderful we've got dry humor though? I love it. And thank you for the 'layers' thing as well! Personally, I hate it when a character- especially the main one- is explained right off the bat; it drives me crazy!**

**Liege Lord: I am going to have Shepard at least mention it to Raegas sometime, but remember: Kareck still needs to tell his big sis about it, eh? ;P I'm still not sure what'll really happen to Kaiden either but I do think he has the highest chance of biting the dust if someone really ends up having to die… Anyway, thanks for the review! :D**

**Kachie Takahashi: Yeah, I can't wait to see how that went either! XD Thanks a lot for the review; you're doing a good job boosting my writer's ego! XP**

**Kamika111: Yes, another quick update; I wonder how I'm doing it. :) If you really want me too, I'll try to write good/possibly funny disclaimers as well, 'kay? ;) I'm glad you looked it up too; it'll make the 'reveal' scene with Shepard all that more funny! XD You have a nice day too, friend. ^_^**

_She looks back at me one last time. "Goodbye."_

"-gas! Raegas! Wake up!" I jolted awake at the urgency of the voice and the hands shaking me, almost desperately. My eyes snapped open and I realized I was breathing in ragged gasps. Tears were streaking my face as they had in the nightmare. Once the person calling me saw I was awake, they relaxed and let me lay on the bed, keeping their hands on my shoulders. I glanced up and saw that it was Shepard. Great.

"Thanks…" I muttered, closing my eyes and rubbing them dry. Shepard relaxed her grip and laid a hand on my hip, her other going somewhere else.

"Another nightmare, huh?" she asked knowingly. I let my arms fall from my face and I sighed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Yeah. My Ulaeviel partner sacrificed herself so I could live. Right before I was imprisoned, too…" I answered, figuring she might as well know why I was the only one of my sisters without a partner. It would save me questions later. Shepard was silent for a few moments.

"I'm sorry, Raegas I…" I put a hand on her arm to get her to stop before I got emotional. I knew she'd lost people before as well, but she didn't know what it was like to be truly bound to someone as I had been with Ciria. It wasn't her fault anyway.

"It's fine, Shepard. What time is it?" I asked. She let out a breath and relaxed a bit.

"It's 12:30. I'm glad you at least got some sleep, though." She said gently, causing a strange fluttering feeling in my chest to rise. I furrowed my brows in confusion and pressed a hand to my chest, but it did nothing to stop the feeling.  
>"Are you alright?" she asked, placing a hand to my forehead. Unfortunately, that made the feeling grow stronger and spread to my heart. It started to beat strongly against my chest, so much so that I was surprised Shepard couldn't hear it.<p>

I gripped her wrist and took it off of my forehead, then sat up. I stared blankly at nothing in particular for a few moments, trying to see what was wrong. I couldn't have been sick… could I? I grabbed Shepard's hand again and pressed it against my chest, over my heart so she could feel it as well. Oddly enough, her cheeks flooded and turned red when I did so.

"I'm not sick am I?" I asked confusedly, earning a small laugh from her. She smiled softly, still blushing, and gave me a look I couldn't quite decipher. Was she making fun of me?

"You're not sick, Raegas, you're fine." She answered. I furrowed my brows deeper at that.

"Then what's wrong with me? Is it a disease?" I asked, utterly perplexed. She chuckled lightly before shaking her head.

"Nothing's wrong with you. You're heart's just saying hello." She explained, making no sense whatsoever.

"If you say so…" I conceded, choosing to let it go. I released her hand then, and she stood. I looked over and saw that Ciria was awake as well, looking up at me curiously. I picked her up and cradled her to my chest, where she snuggled, and I stood.

"We'll be reaching Noveria in about an hour, by the way. The Council wouldn't let us stay the last few days of shore leave." She said, sounding a little peeved.

"There's no need to wilt, Commander." I said, leading the way out of my room since I still had my uniform on. At least she didn't mention that little fact, along with how I still had the damned sedative. She stayed at my side as we entered the CC.

"It's too bad I can't say the mission doesn't depend on the fate of the galaxy." She sighed whimsically, crossing her arms and leaning against my table. I absently looked down at a piece of tech on the table, wondering if I could do something with it.

"It's more exciting that way, though. It would be boring if it was a simple negotiation or retrieval, no?" I said, fidgeting with my necklace. Shepard seemed to notice since she began to stare at it.

"What is that? I saw it around your neck back in the ruin, but…" she wondered, not taking her gaze off of it for a moment. I looked down at the necklace myself for a few moments and let out a breath.

"This is something passed down in my family. Once our child or heir earns their title and name, this is given to them as proof. It is also used for-…" I cut myself off, feeling the fluttering again. Why was I feeling shy now, so suddenly? I could swear I was starting to get sick, even if Shepard said otherwise; my stomach felt strange.

"For…?" she asked, not about to give it up. I sighed and let of the necklace so it just hung down as I braced my hands on the table and stared at its empty surface.

"It represents the very heart and soul of the wearer, so when they earn it, the necklace also becomes a promise. When we find our 'soulmate', we give this necklace to them to show our love and devotion. That's why it's so symbolic." I explained, fighting the blush trying to creep onto my cheeks.

"What happens after you give the necklace away?" she asked quietly, seemingly dodgy as well.

"The promise I spoke of is what you'd call marriage. We bind ourselves to our soulmate and swear to care for them always. After that, we would become the head of the family, if they're the eldest, and rule alongside our beloved as long as we live." I explained, looking down at the necklace once more.

"Rule?" she asked.

"I suppose that's a word you could use." I said, unwilling to come up with some other word at the moment, especially since I just wanted to get this conversation over with.  
>"It's also all I have left of my mother; it was her necklace before she handed it down to me. She died a year before I was imprisoned, so…"<p>

"What happened?" she asked softly, placing a hand on my shoulder. I hated that she was being so kind to me. Most of all, I hated that I wanted her to be like this. Of course, with a subject turning to where it was, I couldn't be sure I would totally stay calm…

"There was a plague of corruption going around back then. She went to the source of it and absorbed as much as she could into her body, before it killed her, to spare the galaxy from being taken by it. I was with her as well, and took the rest of it into my body. That was the first time I went into a Bloodrage, but because of the Corruption, it went out of control. I was the only one there though, so I only succeeded in destroying the mountain." I explained, now sitting in my chair, staring at the ground. Shepard was kneeling in front of me, sadness in her eyes. It made me feel slightly better, honestly.

"I'm sorry. I wish you didn't have to go through that." She said, genuinely meaning it. The words pulled at me, and before I knew it, I slipped out of the chair to kneel in front of her, eye-to-eye. I wrapped my arms around her and dropped my head onto her shoulder. In response, she drew her arms around my waist and pulled me to her in a tight embrace. I knew I wasn't supposed to be doing this, but my mom was still a very raw subject. One I wish I could just forget.

I couldn't help it, and for that, I deserved to be locked away all over again.

"I'm fine now." I lied. "It's surprising how relieving it is to let someone know. I don't feel like I deserve it." I muttered, closing my eyes.

"Deserve what?" she asked quietly, resting her head against mine.

"…This." I almost whispered, letting out a breath. Shepard tightened her grip on me at that, but said nothing.

A few moments later, I regained myself and let go of her.

We both stood then, and Shepard bid me a reluctant farewell, saying we needed to get ready for Noveria. Ciria and I shared looks of foreboding after Shepard was gone, knowing what would happen. I couldn't say I was excited, but I wanted to get it over with.

…

"Oh hey, there you are!" I looked up from the piano I was sitting at to see Kareck and Raja walking up. Ciria went over to greet Raja excitedly while Kareck sat down beside of me.

"Mm. I wanted to see if I could adapt to this from what we used to play." I said, looking down at my hands as they were held above the piano's keys. Kareck looked down as well and ran his fingers along the smooth surface.

"It's surprisingly similar. Makes me remember the good ol' days…" he said, a small nostalgic smile on his face. I nodded and sighed slightly.

"Did you need something?" I asked, getting him out of his thoughts. He looked to me and smiled.

"Shepard told me about it so I'm here to tell you too!" he stated happily, making me swallow. I really didn't want this conversation at the moment.

"Yeah?" I asked, trying not to sound as if I didn't want to know. He only grinned.

"So here's what happened…"

"_So I was wondering…" Kareck started, still wondering why Raegas had such a weird expression when he asked. He had thought she knew what it was, but since she said she wasn't sure, he let it go. His sister never was much of an open book anyway._

"_Yeah?" the Commander hummed, taking a sip of her steaming beverage._

"_What's a 'boner'?" he asked suddenly, causing the poor commander to breathe in sharply, choking on her human 'coffee'. She started coughing uncontrollably, clutching her neck with her eyes screwed shut. _

_As she hacked and shook from the forceful coughs, Kareck sat there awkwardly, unknowing of what to do if a human started having a seizure. The Commander leaned forward over the table, still coughing loudly, drawing the attention of Kaiden nearby. He ran over and started to slap her back, making even Kareck annoyed as the human male fussed over Shepard. _

_Said Commander pushed the male away strongly, perhaps on reflex, unable to speak from the hacking. Kaiden stood there for a few moments with a strange expression on his face before almost stomping away. Not long after, Shepard got ahold of herself and took steadying breaths for a few moments before looking to Kareck._

"_What?" she rasped, rubbing the wetness from her eyes. The Vertoakan rubbed his palms together under the table, slightly worried over repeating the question._

"_What's a 'boner'?" he asked, slower this time, not wanting Shepard to freak out again. The Commander only sat still, as if processing the information, before leaning back in her chair._

"_Um… why do you want to know?" she asked, sounding slightly cautious. Kareck let out a breath, seeing Shepard was okay so far, and relaxed his hands._

"_Well earlier, I and Tali were talking, down in Engineering. In the middle of the conversation, a crewmember walked by and muttered the word as he passed by. Neither Tali nor I knew what the human term meant, so I went to ask Ashley. She ended up telling me to go and ask my big sister about it. When I did, Raegas said she wasn't sure, and told me to ask you since you're better at explaining things than her. So here I am. What is a 'boner'?" he explained, seeing Shepard sigh at first. When his sister was mentioned though the Commander's expression got weird and she blushed just before furrowing her brows._

"_Um… well, it's… it's a slang word…" Shepard started, exciting Kareck. Finally he would get his answer!_

"_For…?" he urged, leaning forward. Shepard's cheeks burned slightly rosier and she dodged his gaze, shifting in her chair._

"_A-… it's a term humans use for a… well a… an… erection…" she trailed off awkwardly, fidgeting with her cup. Kareck was silent for a few moments, wrapping his mind around the new information._

_Suddenly, he jumped up, startling the Commander. His expression was pissed, if anything and he fisted his hands, looking down at Shepard. He stood that way for a few moments as if making up his mind about something._

"_That is an insult! I will not stand slanderous terms directed toward my good friend Tali!" he declared, shocking Shepard._

_The Commander found herself at a loss as the Vertoakan stormed off with Raja running to catch up. She sighed and covered her face, trying to calm all the way down. She was going to get Raegas back for this…_

I sighed heavily and facepalmed. Kareck really was too reckless. He may have said that, but he was slanderous in his own right; recall the time with that convoy? Exactly. Either way, I had a feeling he marched himself straight down to engineering and-

"I punched that guy in the face and accidentally broke his nose." Kareck stated, making me close my eyes tiredly. Yeah. 'Accidentally', alright.  
>"Anyway, I'm sure you need to suit up for Noveria, right? Get going." He smiled, urging me off of the bench I front of the piano. I sighed once more as I walked out of the room, heading towards my room. I was going to have to explain things later, wouldn't I?<p>

Shaking my head, I decided to leave it for when Shepard brought it up.

…

Noveria. I hated this place. In our squad was Liara, Jasin/Waru, Me and Shepard. It was a powerful team, but it gave me a sense of worry as well. With what we'd have to go through, it would be best that I just go ahead and finish everything for them. It would save time in the end.

At the end of the walkway, I saw Captain Matsuo and Sergeant Sterling with that random turian. I got a sudden urge to flatten Sterling into a pile of oozing goo the instant she told us to stop. She just had that look where you want to beat her to death- that sneer.

"Sergeant Sterling, secure their weapons!" Matsuo ordered. The instant she said that and the sergeant took a step forward, we went offensive. Waru grounded herself and bared her teeth, growling, while Jasin aimed her AR at Sterling and Liara powered her biotics. Shepard pulled out her AR as well, and I activated my hand cannon, powering it up and aiming it at Sterling. Their shocked faces at my cannon would've been funny if I wasn't so pissed off at the moment.

"Try me." I growled, my eyes no doubt already red. I saw Shepard twitch slightly at my voice, but was gratified when she kept still. She trusted me enough not to, I suppose. The fact somehow made my heart stutter again. It kind of hurt as well, but she said I was fine, so I ignored it as I stared Sterling down.

"Captain Matsuo, stand down! Spectres are allowed to carry weapons here!" And there was Gianna over the intercom, ruining the mood.

At least they stood down. Shepard and the others did as well, so I forced myself to deactivate the cannon. Still, Sterling and I didn't break eye contact- mine were still red as well. The cool thing about shifting eyes is that when you're as angry as I am, your pupils slit to look like those of a viper or cat.

"Move out." Shepard ordered. As they walked past, I took a step forward, as Sterling did and kept glaring at her. She sneered, trying her best to also look intimidating. The expression was just pissing me off more.

"Soon, Sterling." I growled, catching her off-guard. She narrowed her eyes on me, evidently knowing what I was talking about. At that, I left through the doors to catch up.

Shepard had waited for me at the base of the stairs to the security walk. As I drew closer, she noticed my eyes were still changed. I calmed myself by letting out a breath and offering her a nod. We walked up the stairs then, through the checkpoint and to Gianna.

While she and Shepard were talking, I looked around absently, taking in the details of the walls and such. It wasn't long before Shepard was finished with Gianna, and after she left, Liara asked if Shepard wanted to talk with her about Benezia. I was glad to see Shepard said she didn't want to do so.

Once we were in the elevator and heading down, I felt someone's eyes on me. I turned my head to see it was Jasin. She was probably worried about me going into a Bloodrage. I only gave her shake of the head, telling her not to worry about it. She took it to heart and turned back to face the front of the slow elevator.

…

"It's so cold here, but this armor is somehow keeping me warm. How is this possible?" Liara wondered, glancing down at herself.

"I couldn't have anyone getting freezer burn, now could I?" I said, sparing a quick glance at her. We'd just talked to Lorik Qui'in, by the way. We were heading to his office to get his files at the moment.

"Freezer burn?" she asked confusedly, looking back at me. I had to remind myself she wasn't familiar with the term.

"It's just a human expression. They say it when something has been frozen too long and is damaged because of it." I explained. She made an 'oh' face in realization then.

"It's amazing how you understand humans so well, Raegas." She praised, smiling shyly. I felt glares coming from both Waru and Jasin at our banter, but I ignored it.

"It's not that amazing, Liara. Besides, you understand Protheans so well. I'd say that's more amazing, given their current status." I said humorously, earning a laugh from Liara. I was doing this just to annoy Jasin, but I wasn't lying when I said that. I noticed Shepard quickly glance at the two of us as we rounded a corner, but she didn't say anything. What confused me was my sudden rush of guilt. Hmm…

"That is only because I have spent years studying them. You have only been around humans for a few weeks, along with the other species here. How is it that you're not overwhelmed?" she asked. I smiled to myself.

"Because I was lucky enough to have Shepard. Otherwise, I don't know what would've become of me." I answered simply, finding that I truly meant it. I saw Shepard's secret smile as it spread across her features, and it made my heart beat like a drum. I was starting to hate myself even more than I did originally. And that was something of an accomplishment.

"I see. I am glad she found you as well." She said, giving me one of her cute smiles. I gave her a small smile and a nod in return before Waru nudged me in the leg. I looked down at her as Jasin stepped to Liara's side, starting a conversation. She gave me a look of conspiracy, making me wonder if she was planning something.

"What's up, Waru?" I asked, getting a small whine as she pushed her head into my palm. I scratched her behind the ears as we walked, her height making it easy for me to reach since she came up to my hips; just as most fully grown Ulaeviel did.

It wasn't long before we got to the elevator leading to Qui'in's office. Once it got us to the offices, the door opened and I saw the two guards at the end of the hallway. Shepard led the way, then they stopped us, and Shepard convinced them to leave. Just after they departed, we were fired upon by the other guards. Too bad for them.

Waru leapt forward with speed only natural to a fully grown Ulaeviel and took down a turian, biting out his throat. Barbaric maybe, but effective. I took down a biotic on the far side of the lounge as Shepard took another guard and Liara lifted two more. Jasin took out the ones Liara lifted with her own hand cannons, dropping their bodies to the ground. We bound up the stairs quickly and Waru immediately took out a biotic hiding behind a crate on the other side of the room while Liara and Jasin dropped another two. I incinerated the last guard with my trusty hand cannon, leaving behind a small pile of dust.

"Damn…" Shepard muttered, looking at the once-was turian guard. We moved to the end of the walkway, into Qui'in's office. When we got there though, Shepard just stood in front of the computer.

"Something wrong?" I asked. She looked up at me then, brows furrowed.

"It's encrypted. I can't access the computer." She said. This wasn't in the game. Sighing, I took a seat in front of the computer and activated it. As the encryption scrolled across the screen, I matched the algorithms to the appropriate set pairs then locked them in by using a bypass code used for common encrypted files. Of course, mine was used for stronger encryptions, so this was easy. Once I bypassed the encryption, I downloaded the files into the OSD Shepard handed me. The whole process was only about four minutes.

"Easy." I commented, giving Shepard the OSD. She smirked and put it into a compartment in her armor. I stood and we all followed Shepard back to the other end of the walkway, only to be stopped by Sterling.

"You know what we do to cop killers on my world?" she sneered. Instantly, my eyes shifted as my pupils became slits once more and my teeth became sharp fangs. I snickered and found that my voice had changed again as well. Their attention went on me then, and I stepped forward.

"Know what I do to killer cops?" I growled. Instantly, she raised her gun and I leapt forward, tackling her to the ground as everyone else opened fire. She struggled against my grip on her arms, but my strength mashed her own down easily.

A maniacal grin spread across my features as I inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of her panic and fear. My demonic gaze stared into hers as my murderous urge filled me. My Bloodrage was corrupted because of what happened on that mountain with my mother, making it harder to control, and that much more powerful. It took so much less to go into a Bloodrage with the Corruption inside of me.

"Get off me demon!" she grunted, still trying to point her weapon at me. A chuckle escaped my lips and I leaned down slightly, lightly aware of the firefight going on behind me and downstairs.

"Like I said; know what I do to killer cops?" she paled, stiffening. She knew what was coming. I leaned down, my mouth coming to her ear.  
>"I kill them." I whispered, activating my hand cannon.<p>

I straightened back up and regarded her with a psychotic grin and narrowed eyes. I moved my cannon to rest on her forehead- and fired. The blood from her now non-existent face sprayed up, smattering all across my own face. I stood then and chuckled to myself, aiming my cannon at her body. I fired several more times just for the kicks, but soon stopped to look down at my blood-covered self.

"Raegas!" I turned around at Shepard's voice to see she was rushing back up the stairs. She rushed up to me, worry in her features, and looked into my blood red eyes.

Was she worried I'd kill her? No. As I saw into her own eyes, I saw she was worried… _for_ me. At the realization, I managed to find myself.

"I'm…" I struggled to calm myself down, refusing to look away from Shepard. I gritted my teeth and concentrated, finding her to be an anchor as the Bloodrage threatened to take me in.  
>"Sorry…" I managed, my teeth slowly returning to what they were originally. "For…" I continued, my voice not so corrupted.<br>"Losing…" my eyes relaxed and my face fell when she laid a hand on my back. "Control." I finished, finally regaining myself. I took a deep breath, then pulled away to regard Shepard with sad eyes. She smiled slightly and patted my shoulder.

"It's fine. Let's go." She said. I nodded, and off we went.

**A/N: I feel like this one was too obvious with everything going on in Raegas' mind, you know? It's nice we finally got to Noveria, but even so; I can't say I'm totally satisfied with this evidently dramatic chapter. Oh, and that 'killing Sterling very barbarically' thing? I was kind of afraid of and for Raegas myself when I looked it over, honestly…**

**Review or PM me and tell me whatever you want, ask me a question or even request a certain profile pic; I don't mind, so do what you feel like I guess. ;)**


	15. Risks Of The Heart

**Disclaimer: I, obviously, only own my OCs. Bioware thought of the other stuff first.**

**Liege Lord: I do wonder how Shep's going to get Raegas back, but I guess we'll just have to wait, huh? ;) I do think Sterling deserved that as well, but with Raegas going all psychotic like that, I was worried for her too. Ha! And I'm the writer! Fail on my part, huh? XD I do think Jasin may have or be developing a thing for Liara, but I'm not totally sure how Raegas is doing. She's kind of clueless when it comes to 'feeling' things, you know? And yeah, good theory for how Raegas will deal with it as well. Anyway, I will try to update both of my stories as often as I can, but I will be focusing-mostly- on this one.**

**Kamika111: Hm. I'm not sure if the Corruption has anything to do with the Reapers, but we'll find out later, I guess. Oh, and the Kaiden having a fan thing? I don't know where you got the idea from, but I don't think so. XP Thanks for the critique though, and I will try to see you tomorrow, 'kay? Have a nice day yourself, as well. ^_^**

**Hopelessly Blue: Hey, I'm really glad you liked that bit! I thought it would be entertaining, but once I got the first few letter down, the scene kind of wrote itself! XD And this whole Shep and Raegas thing is growing on you? *gasps* How interesting! Lol, I am glad you don't hate me for the lack of 'Liara love' though, if you know what I mean! XP And when I was writing the part with Raegas going all evil, I was grimacing I was so concerned! Xo I really appreciate you, man, thanks for the ego-boost as well!**

**Kachie Takahashi: Glad you liked the chapter. And yeah, it seems Raegas has a bit of a temper; with that Corruption inside of her though, I think it lowers the 'quota' of anger she needs to go into a Bloodrage. It's kind of sad, in a way… ~_~**

It wasn't long before we were on the mako. We passengers were trying to keep from shaking around like beans in a can, and Shepard, being how crazy she was when she drove, was laughing hysterically as she ran over every Geth possible. I kind of felt sorry for them, but when I had to grip my straps hard enough to lose blood to my palms; I had little time to worry about anything else.

…

After a small while, we fixed up the station's core and tram system. I had at first been slightly startled by the Rachni, given their size and oddly clean-looking shells. It was too bad they were insane.

Once we had gotten to the next station though, I found that the situation was much direr than it seemed in the game- from what I recalled, anyway. I remembered fewer details as time went on, so I suppose it was a good thing I had begun to chronicle every little thing I knew from my earthen life weeks before.

Still, I had little time to dwell upon it, given we had to make a cure for the sick in order to get the doctor's pass into the maintenance labs. I was glad we took that route though, so we wouldn't need to kill everyone.

…

"Liara's here because she wants to be. Not because I asked her to." Shepard said, regarding Benezia.

"Tell me, Shepard; have you ever faced an asari commando unit before? Few have faced one and lived." The Matriarch said, ignoring the reply of Shepard.

Without waiting for an answer from said Commander, she threw us into a stasis and summoned her lackeys. I managed to go into a forced Bloodrage just enough to break free and shield everyone from a singularity as their own faded slowly. I grunted in pain as it hit me, but I stayed my ground, thankful for the Bloodrage for the first time. I wasn't far enough in to lose control and I was more powerful in this shift, but once I was out of it, I'd be a wreck.

"You know, Matriarch;" my changed voice grumbled, catching Benezia's attention when I addressed her. "Even fewer have met a Vertoakan in a Bloodrage and ran fast enough to get away." I finished, earning a peeved expression from her. Good thing I was out of earshot of Liara. That wouldn't have blown over well.

We all fought and used our combined abilities against the commandos for what seemed like forever. Soon, Geth were added to the mix and Waru and I had to rip them apart as fast as we could. Liara did well in countering most of the biotics of the enemy asari and Shepard dropped the ones left out.

It wasn't long then, before we were facing Benezia.

My mind suddenly went into overdrive as she started to break down from Sovereign's grip on her. If he corrupted her, maybe I could take that corruption away and destroy it within my own body. I had been able to absorb a much more powerful source and control it before. If I could take sovereign's corruption from Benezia my own should be able to eliminate it entirely. I hoped.

"I can't- his claws at my spine, voice in my mind-! I can't-"as Benezia sank to the floor, I stepped forward. I awakened the corruption inside of me and it instantly exploded from my body, snaking around and swirling in choking clouds of darkness. I struggled to control it as I knelt down in front of Benezia and drew her into my arms, propping her up. It flowed and beat against my body, struggling to attack someone- anyone- but I kept it focused in on my own body, damaging it more as each second passed.

"Fight, Matriarch. Weakness doesn't become you." I growled, forcing myself to bind my mind to hers. I delved into her mind and heart- the very essence of who she was- and saw it. Sovereign's corruption was powerful indeed. But my own was leagues beyond.

Her eyes blinked open as I began to methodically absorb sovereign's darkness inside of me. She was growing stronger- becoming herself once again. I gritted my teeth and failed in keeping the groan of agony that escaped my mouth contained. My own darkness swept around me like a storm and I could feel my own body shifting; I had to finish quickly or it would be a waste!

"No! Raegas, you're killing yourself!" I heard Jasin's yell, but I ignored it as I continued. My eyes grew more blood red, the color also leaking into the whites, my teeth becoming fangs and my voice duo toned. My nails lengthened and sharpened, becoming claws and my skin began to split open and bleed from the sheer force of the corruption threatening to overtake me.

I let out a roar of pain and determination as I kept up with my struggle. Benezia's eyes were more alert, less weak- good. I could feel her resurfacing, no longer tamped down by sovereign's control. I took in the last of sovereign's darkness from Benezia and pulled it into myself, along with my own corruption, as best I could.

I screwed my eyes shut and forced all of it back into my body. I felt it and Sovereign fighting each other in my body, trying to find purchase in my mind. I let them run through me, hoping my own corruption would destroy Sovereign's but I wasn't sure it was possible. At least Benezia was alive, right…?

"Raegas!" Shepard's voice.

I fell limply to the ground on my side, the last of the swirling energy returning to my body. My breath was coming in ragged gasps, and I felt like I was on fire. I hadn't realized I was bleeding so much until just then, as it streaked down my face and body from countless cuts and tears along my body and from my mouth.

Arms enveloped me in a tight embrace, pulling me into someone's lap. My head rested on their shoulder; I could almost feel their heart racing in their chest. I forced my eyes to crack open, still unable to catch my breath, and see what had happened. Benezia was lying on the ground, but Liara was tending to her, so she must've been okay.

"Is she okay…?" I managed through gritted teeth, feeling my body refusing to shift back as the two forces of darkness battled inside of me. Liara looked to me with teary eyes then and blew out a small laugh of relief. She nodded in response and I looked back up at Shepard, struggling to breathe properly.

As my eyes began to close, I felt darkness threatening to take me. I struggled to stay awake, but it was too hard…

"She's dying, Shepard! We have to hurry up and get to the Normandy!" Jasin's rushed voice was the last thing I heard as I was forced into darkness.

…

The instant after Shepard released the Rachni queen she slipped her arms around Raegas, picking her up. Liara and Jasin helped Benezia and they all rushed from the room. Raegas was still bleeding from the corruption and breathing too shallow and too quick to be alright. She also hadn't shifted back from the Corrupted Bloodrage form, adding to Shepard's concern.

As they reached the tram, Jasin punched the button to get it moving. Shepard sat in one of the chairs and let Raegas rest in her lap, her head in the crook of her neck. What had she been thinking? If Raegas died from this, Shepard would invade heaven just to kick her ass! She didn't want to think about that as a possibility, but seeing the condition Raegas was in, it just couldn't be… no.

"You'll be fine, Raegas. I can't let you leave- not anymore…!" Shepard whispered, holding her close. This entire situation just screwed with Shepard; the Council refused to do anything about Saren so she had to hunt him down by herself, she was forced into being a Spectre, saving the damn galaxy, and now Raegas was dying! She didn't want to even think about what would come next on this ridiculous mission!

…

They finally made it to the Normandy, Shepard making a beeline for the med-bay. She'd already called ahead and the other two sisters and Chakwas were there to try and help her.

As soon as she finally got there, she set Raegas down on a bed and the others immediately surrounded Raegas, holding medi-gel. This was becoming a flashback of the citadel, and Shepard could only hope Raegas would be alright.

**A/N: It could just be me, but I think this is the most melodramatic chapters I've ever written. Sorry about that, but it wasn't my idea; Raegas just **_**had **_**to try and save Benezia out of the kindness in her heart. Yeah, just ignore me. Xo **

**Anyway, review or PM me, all that jazz, you know the drill. Oh, and let's hope Raegas will be alright… ;-; **


	16. Sibling Need And Soothing Words

**Disclaimer: Yep. It's here again. The disclaimer, if you weren't sure. I only got my OCs and me, BTW. **

**Kamika111: Two chapters in one day? When did I do that? (-_-) Oh, but I didn't mean to make the Reapers look weak, it's just that Raegas took in a huge amount of Corruption from the very source- the reaper indoctrination in Benezia was only a small portion and far from the source. Anyway, I do hope to see how all of this works out, eh?**

**Kachie Takahashi: Yeah, I had thought Raegas would let it be, but she ended up saving her anyway. :) I hope she's alright after what happened as well, since she got so messed up. Also, I'm sorry for the cliffhanger after cliffhanger thing, but it just happens… *-***

**Hopelessly Blue: Love triangle, eh? I wonder if that'll actually happen, what with how things are going so dramatically already. Oh, but I was surprised when Raegas saved Benezia, you know? It just kind of happened when I was typing so much my eyes glazed over. ~.~ I do feel sorry for Shepard though; she just gets more and more issues dumped on her no matter what, right? **

**Liege Lord: Yeah, I was about to send a SWAT team after you; I came **_**this**_** close to updating without you! XP Anyway, I do hope Benezia will be able to help convince the Council, but I'm not sure what and all will happen since I'm kind of flying by the seat of Raegas' pants, you know? And thank you, I will focus on this story as best I can while still adding to my other fic whenever I can. ^.^**

**A/N: I do still change my profile pic each chapter you guys, so try and check 'em out, 'kay? ^.^ **

Ayldrik sat there, on the floor, completely silent as he gazed blankly into space. His sister had made a stupid decision and now, no one could be sure whether she would live or not. That damned Corruption itself had done enough damage to kill most people. Add in the basic Bloodrage and how she took in Sovereign's darkness, and you have a severely weakened Raegas in a practical coma.

"Here." Ayldrik looked up to see Ash handing him a cup of something that looked like 'coffee'. He took the drink gratefully and had a gulp of the steaming liquid as the Chief sat down beside of him.

"Thanks…" he muttered, still a little out of it.

There was a silence as they sat there, in the mostly isolated 'music' room. It had earned the name after Shepard bought all of those musical instruments and stuck them in the extra storage room.

"She'll be fine, Ayldrik; she's Raegas, after all." The chief said, getting his attention once more. The Vertoakan sighed lightly and let his head rest against the wall.

"I guess, it's just…" he trailed off, feeling all too overwhelmed with everything that had been happening so recently. Waking up millions of years after his people died out and becoming a part of saving the galaxy from all-too-familiar enemies was a little sudden. Even if it had been a week or two, it still felt like yesterday he woke up with no clue as to what was going on.

"Just what? She won't fall over from something like this." Ash said, causing a rush of so many emotions to rise in Ayldrik. He looked to her for a few moments and sighed again. He knew Ash had mostly gotten over her dislike of Raegas, but hearing even her say something encouraging like that just…

"It's just that…" he looked back to the floor. "After mom died, she changed. She used to be so much more… alive, and after what happened, she… She stopped caring or feeling anything real. That's why I'm so screwed up right now!" he raised his voice at the last statement and stood quickly, beginning to pace a bit. Ash stood as well and patiently waited for him to speak.  
>"She wouldn't have risked herself like that two weeks ago! She wouldn't have taken pity on someone who just tried to kill her! She wouldn't have used that damned darkness inside of her for anything!" he almost shouted, rubbing his face forcefully, trying to keep himself from going into a Bloodrage because of all of the built up emotion he'd bottled up.<p>

Before he knew it, the chief grabbed his arms and turned him to face her. She stared straight into his eyes, determination and, perhaps, concern in her own. Saiga whined quietly then, looking up at Ayldrik as well.

"She's going to be fine. Shepard's got her handled." The chief's words calmed the Vertoakan down a bit and he took a breath to relax. He had had a feeling for a while that Shepard had been having an influence on Raegas. His sister had begun to loosen up and talk a little more, even. It was good to see the commander took such good care of his only big sister.

"Yeah… I guess you're right…" he muttered, relaxing. Ash let go of him and smiled lightly.

"I'm totally right and you know it." She said, getting a smile out of the brother.

"Maybe…" he smirked, not admitting to it. The chief's mouth opened in mock shock for a moment before she punched his arm, making him laugh.

…

Jasin sat on her bed, idly running her fingers through Waru's thick fur. She was too out of it to really be of any help so anyone, and truthfully, she didn't want to be around people at the moment. Raegas had done something so amazing and yet so frightening, Jasin had had a nightmare once she'd finally fallen asleep the night they got back from Noveria. The deep, glowing crimson eyes, the sharp teeth, the double voice… it had all reeked of evil and yet Raegas intentionally let it encompass her if only to save someone she'd only met minutes before.

"Jasin?" she looked up to see a familiar asari standing on front of her, worry upon her features. The Vertoakan looked back down to the ground moments later, allowing Liara to sit down beside of her.

"How's your mom?" Jasin asked quietly.

"She is still weak, but she's going to be alright. I am sure Raegas will make a full recovery as well…" the young scientist offered, looking to Jasin, who only stalled in her movements in Waru's fur. "I cannot imagine she would succumb to this…" Liara tried once more. Jasin was quiet for a few moments, unknowing of what she could say that would help.

"I watched her use a darkness she swore she wouldn't allow to control her. When she let the Corruption take her, it was the same as using a power that killed mother. Now look at her; we have no idea whether she'll even live, let alone wake up from this damned coma!" Jasin muttered darkly, balling her hands into fists. Liara slipped a hand onto her shoulder and squeezed lightly, trying to lend comfort.

"I am sure she understood that when she allowed it to encompass her. That is why I believe she will come out of this as she has always done; we all know she is almost as reckless as the Commander." The lightly humorous statement brought a faint smirk to Jasin's lips as she looked sideways to Liara.

"Yeah, she's pretty crazy sometimes." The Vertoakan agreed, letting out a small breath. Liara gave her a slight look and pointed a finger, almost accusingly, at Jasin.

"You are one to talk; I can't remember one time you did not insist upon blowing something up." The asari's muffled grin and almost fond accusation caused Jasin to smirk, sitting straighter now.

…

Kareck sighed, looking down at Raegas' slightly scrunched mask of pain. He'd been staring at her for the past two hours, and given how late it was; Shepard had already fallen asleep at his sister's side. He thought it was kind of adorable how the Commander and Raegas interacted with each other, but sometimes they acted like children. Still, he couldn't get the knot in his stomach to go away. It was hard enough to believe Raegas had used the Corruption purposely, but it was even harder to believe she'd done it for a crazy old lady. Even if his sister had been through plenty of bad or even worse health situations, she'd only ever gone into a coma when she first took in the Corruption little more than a year before.

"How is she?" Kareck turned his head to see Tali approaching him quietly. He gave her a slightly peeved expression, silently indicating his opinion.

"In a coma." He said, as smart-alecky as his sister tended to be. Tali and sighed as if in agreement and pulled herself up onto the bed on the other side of a napping Raja.

"It's been three days…" she muttered, keeping quiet no doubt to try and keep Shepard from waking up. Kareck looked back to his sister and nodded idly.

"Yeah… Hard to believe she's got herself in such a state for a batty lady that tried to kill her- and Shepard!" he grumbled, annoyed with his sister's uncharacteristic impulse.

"I agree. But if she hadn't…"

"If she hadn't, she'd be fine right now. She'd be working on some project or snacking on those sausages Shepard got her, or playing the piano for no reason, not-… Not lying in the med-bay, stuck in a coma…" Kareck finished rather quietly, looking to the ground, not wanting to see Raegas' pain. Tali laid a hand atop his and squeezed to try and soothe him.

"I was going to say… if she'd hadn't, then Benezia would no longer be alive. What she did was very noble and generous; qualities I honestly didn't know she had three days ago." Tali said, trying to cheer him up. Kareck sighed and rested his chin in his hand while resting his elbow on his knee.

"I guess…" he grumbled, staring to nothing in particular.

"I'm sure you know, Kareck. She'll be up in no time, scolding you over breaking something or…" her increasingly humorous tone caught Kareck's attention and he looked to Tali. "eating those sausages Shepard got her." She almost chuckled, getting a small smile from the youngest Vertoakan of the small family.

"She'd never tell anyone, but I know she's always eating them!" he grinned mischievously, earning a small chuckle from the quarian.

"Not that you didn't try to hide them from her one day." Kareck could hear the smile in Tali's voice and smiled in return, chuckling nervously.

"Yeah, but that got me a broken nose and a dislocated jaw." He chuckled. "Man, she really likes those sausages. Any meat really, but the ones Shepard got her are her favorite." Kareck grinned. Tali nodded.

"And I'm sure she'll wake up early just to have those sausages, so let's not worry too much." Tali said, somehow getting rid of that knot in Kareck's stomach. He nodded with a smile and they left the med-bay, intent on getting some sleep.

Neither of them noticed the smile upon Shepard's 'sleeping' face.

**A/N: Oh my gosh! Raegas is in a coma! I do hope she'll wake up soon! But yea, we had a siblings chapter! Woo! XD**

**Review or PM me, whichever one, you know the whole drill: I try to convince you all to review and you all are too lazy and decide not to. No really, I know. It's fine. (Sarcasm/ pouty face) (~_~) **


	17. A Coma And A Sphere

**Disclaimer: I just own my OCs, everyone; no need to be surprised.**

**Hopelessly Blue: I do hope Raegas will be okay, but even if she may be the main character, she's not the only one who could help Shepard. You never know; maybe her siblings will find her omnibus thingy and read all of the information she'd put into it- essentially taking her place if she never woke up. Still, that's kind of depressing isn't it? Oh, and I'm happy you thought it all was cute; I honestly didn't know I could write 'cute' until you told me! XP Anyway, I really liked the end of the chapter as well! It just came to me like it was a 'memory' or something, you know? XD**

**Kachie Takahashi: Thanks! I tried to emulate their personalities through their reactions and how they dealt with it as well, so in the end, I think it was more believable than just randomly writing them all freaking out or something, eh? And I am glad Shepard has had a good influence on Raegas; I even read through each of my chapters to see how the characters were changing or if they weren't, and it seemed to me that Raegas had begun to loosen up a little. ^.^ I any case, I'm happy you liked!**

**Liege Lord: I thought showing the others would be a good opportunity since Raegas was out, so to speak. I feel like it's anti-climactic and such when a character passes out from doing something super-cool and powerful one chapter, then waking up the next- it's a little plain, isn't it? Oh, and the innuendo? I honestly wasn't thinking about anything when I wrote it, so I don't think it had any, but if you want it to, I guess you can imagine it as such. ;D **

"-gas… Raegas. It is time you awaken…" my eyes slipped open and I sat up quickly, remembering what had happened with Benezia.

I glanced around the room to see I was standing in the med-bay. But then… I was also in one of the beds. I rushed to the holo-screen depicting my-her- status and felt my eyes widen. A coma? Since freaking when?

"Ah, you are awake." I looked over to see a floating sphere of light- no larger than a basketball- hovering above the end of the bed. I paused and blinked, simply staring at it. "We need to go, Raegas." Its voice sounded oddly familiar, but I just couldn't remember exactly who owned it. The sphere floated to me and rounded around me once as if in emphasis of its earlier statement.

"Go? Go where, my body is lying right there; in a coma!" I retorted, gesturing to said body. The sphere chuckled in response, unfazed by the bite in my tone.

"If you want to return to your body, you must pass a test." It said, confusing me further.

"What test? Why can't I just wake the hell up?" I demanded, feeling my temper flare. The sphere got in my face, forcing me to lean back a little.

"In order to wake up you have to find yourself once again!" it raised its voice in almost annoyance, getting closer and closer to my face with each word it spoke. I had to lean back even more to keep it from smacking me too.

"What are you talking about? I'm right here!" I argued, gesturing to myself and my body. The sphere was silent for a moment and got out of my space. I blinked and stood straight once more, waiting for it to answer.

"Your soul and body are here." It said, somber now. "But your mind was almost consumed by both the Corruption and indoctrination battling within you. If you were to wake up now, you would be different due to the scars, essentially, from that battle. So, you haven't woken up; and now, you need to find yourself once more to be who you originally were." It explained, making me feel as if I were an idiot. Why did I not consider the possible damage to my mind as well before helping Benezia? I sighed.

"Fine. But how am I supposed to do so?" I asked, crossing my slightly transparent arms.

"You need to go on a Past-Walk; find pieces of your mind in each key memory you come across and, basically, heal yourself in the process." It answered, surprising me a little. A Past-Walk was something my people used to use for purposes such as this or to repair mental 'issues' suffered from something traumatic and such. As the sphere said, it was typically when one traveled through past experiences as they truly happened. They usually took several days to complete, but given the situation, I had a feeling it may not be so simple.

"Wait a minute; I have to find my mind again? In old memories? Why not the one I lost it in- go back to when I helped Benezia? That's when I 'lost' it in the first place." I said, still confused. I didn't want to go through all of this either, and somehow, it seemed shifty to me.

"Don't get caught up in the semantics; your mind is constituted of all of your experiences and such, yes? So it makes sense that you have to put it back together just the way it was originally formed!" it shot back, managing to bonk me on the head. I pouted slightly and regarded the sphere piercingly.  
>"Don't give me that look; you know I'm right! Now let's get started before your body deteriorates too much!" it urged, going to push at my back as if to take me somewhere. I raised a brow and stepped out of the way so the sphere ended up shooting forward instead, missing me entirely.<p>

"Why would my body deteriorate? If it's in a coma, it should, essentially, be frozen in time." I said. The sphere seemed to stare at me for a few moments before it came over once more.

"Again, because of the Corruption. Without your Self there to control it, your Being will start to slowly die. And, in order to regain your Self, you have to find your Soul, or Mind, whichever one you want to use." It explained, rather seriously, making me run a hand through my ghostly hair.

"Fine. Where do I start?" I asked, finding I had little choice in the matter. The sphere let out what sounded like a sigh of relief and floated closer.

"Hold out your hand." It said. I did so confusedly, saying nothing. The sphere touched my hand, causing what I thought was warmth to spread through me, cantered at my hand. Soon, it faded away, leaving me feeling less dismal.

"What was that?" I asked, looking at my hand. The sphere chuckled and floated about five feet away.

"Hold out your hand and focus on your Mind." It responded, to which I took a breath. I held out my hand and concentrated, trying to figure where my Mind could be.

The next thing I knew, a small flash pulsed in the air where my hand was pointing. It expanded and grew brighter quickly as swirling yellowish-gold light encompassed my hand. I felt the portal pulse once more and it stopped expanding. It was about a foot taller than me and two feet wider, constituted of what looked like grayish-blue clouds.

"Step through to begin. But know this: once you start, there's no going back and in some of these memories, you risk dying faster. Prepare yourself." It said, almost softly.

I nodded and stepped through, wondering what first I would encounter.

**A/N: sorry for the shortness, but I thought it would be best to stop here and let you guys boil in assumptions of what could happen. Anyway, review or whatever; I really do appreciate it you know. (It's why I'm still updating. Seriously. Would you bother with writing updates if no one reviewed you? Exactly.) **


	18. A Child And Her Mother

**Disclaimer: I own only my OCs and me; not everyone else, obviously.**

**Hopelessly Blue: glad you approve. I know there are a lot of things that could happen with this and I do have a lot of ideas but I'm going to take it where it wants to go, in the end. Anyway, I do hope you find some clues and such, eh? Have fun! XD**

**Kachie Takahashi: I do hope Raegas can find her Self as well, but as you said, I'm sure she'll pull through. Then again, if she doesn't, maybe she'll end up as a ghost forever! ;-; I will also try to get Shep in on a few chapters too, like breaks in between Raegas and the Normandy crew, you know? Anyway, thanks and I do hope to get one in sooner than before. ;)**

**Liege Lord: Yeah, I'm not totally sure what Raegas is going to go through but I know it'll be something at least a little surprising. Maybe. It's really up to you to be surprised but I will try to make sure it's not boring, okay? ;) **

**A/N: Yep, sorry for the delay but I've been busy with life and such, you know how it is. **

The second after I stepped through the portal I was hurled downward, or at least that's what it felt like. My stomach felt like there was a magnet in it, trying to connect with its twin outside of my body and my head felt like it was opening up and spilling out somehow.

Yet only seconds later, I was expelled from the portal and thrown to the ground. I groaned, having had landed on my neck and rubbed at it as best I could as I disentangled myself in order to sit up. Having my eyes closed I couldn't be sure where I was, but the cold, smooth floor under my hand felt familiar. Once the ache in my neck was mostly gone I opened my eyes and looked up to see something I hadn't seen in years: my home. My real home.

I was in my old bedroom of all things. It looked just how it had when I was still a kid, too; a smaller bed and a bedside table to match standing on a platform with a deep carpet my toes sank into. The windows and the small work desk on the far wall adjacent to the wall my bed sat against were exactly as they had been when I was just a kid.

My head started hurting slightly as I recalled small memories from this room. As I did, it seemed to glow around me slightly and my blood rushed through my veins a little faster. Blinking hard, I looked to the door on the wall across from my bed, seeing it open. A little I rushed in, smiling brightly, clutching someone's hand. As they ran in, I saw that it was…

"Mom…" I breathed, feeling tears instantly well up into my eyes. Even as I damned spirit I could still cry? Maybe I really missed her that much…

"Mommy, mommy, look!" the little me said excitedly, pulling a beautiful hair ornament from a drawer in her desk. She presented it to mom with a smile. "I made it just for you! Happy birthday!" she exclaimed, grinning proudly. Mom smiled down at her and accepted the brooch, running her fingers along the smooth finish.

"And what is this? Is it a bracelet?" she asked, getting a shake of the head from little me. "No? A clip then?" she asked once more, smiling playfully when I shook my head again. She put a finger to her chin and mocked thinking over what it could be.  
>"Why, it must be a weight!" mom said, in an 'aha' way, pointing her finger into the air.<p>

"No!" little I laughed, holding her robes tightly. "It's a ornament for your hair!" she cried, grinning hugely when mom knelt down to see her eye-to-eye.

Mom gave her a gamely look before holding the ornament in front of her. I sniffed and blew out a small laugh, remembering how we used to play like that and how she loved to tease me endlessly. Even my heart hurt, looking at the scene in front of me.

"What would I wear this for?" mom asked, smiling when little I pouted, still smiling somehow.

"To remember me by when you go away!" I smiled, taking the ornament and carefully sliding it into her hair. Mom gave her a small sympathetic and guilty look but I didn't seem to notice it when I kissed her cheek. "'Cause you're too pretty not to wear one!" I grinned sweetly. Mom smiled and hugged me to her, my little arms wrapping around her.

"Thank you, little one. I will treasure it always." She muttered, making little me cheer quietly and hug her tighter.

I sunk to the ground slowly and tore my gaze from them, unable to bear it any longer. I clenched my teeth, fisting my hands, and hunched over as a sob broke from my sore throat. My eyes shut tightly when I heard little me's happy laughing, not doubt glad mom liked the present.

I could still remember that ornament in her hair; the one she always wore. Mom had always had responsibilities so I didn't get to spend a lot of time with her when I was a kid but when I did see her she'd always be wearing that ornament no matter what.

I forced my eyes open again and wiped the tears away before looking back up so I could see them. Only thing was, time stopped. They were completely still as if paused in a movie. I sniffed strongly and struggled to my shaky feet as a small glow emanated from them. I could feel its warmth as it grew and grew, becoming the size of a basketball or so.

"Love." My gaze snapped to the same sphere I saw before I stepped through the portal, floating by my side. "The strongest emotion there is. It shaped you to be as kind and soft-hearted as you are now." It finished. I lowered my brows at the sphere but said nothing, not trusting my voice at the moment.

_This must've been what Sphere meant by me having to find pieces of myself…_ I thought, reaching out to the glowing energy. It enveloped my hand and took in my arm, soon spreading to my whole body, wrapping me in a cocoon of warmth and love. It spread into me, softening the ice inside of me, making me feel all too bittersweet in its intensity.

Soon, it faded, going completely into my body, leaving me with an agonizing ache in my chest. I looked to my mother's smiling face once more, clenching my teeth with a small, painful smile.

_She left me with more than I had thought, in the end… _I thought, looking down at my own chest as my hand came up to clutch at my shirt. In the back of my mind, I noticed how my colors weren't as washed out as they had been before. I was just a little brighter and softer thanks to my mom.

"Ready?" Sphere (that's what I'm going to call it) asked, floating in front of me. I swallowed hard and took a shaky breath before nodding slowly.

Concentrating once again, I managed to open another portal to the side. I stepped up to it but hesitated. My gaze landed on my mother once again and tears welled up once more, but I kept them back. It was in the past and I couldn't have myself wallowing in sadness over it.

I looked back into the portal and jumped through before I hesitated again, knowing mom wouldn't be happy to see me in such a pathetic state. I was glad to remember it though, as painful as it was. Now, at least, I knew why she always had that ornament in her hair.

Maybe this time I could remember I still have her love…

**A/N: Sorry it's short and sorry I took so long you guys, but I had to go into NYC for a couple weeks, so I was swamped with work and taking care of my mom so she wouldn't get lost. Anyway, I do hope Raegas feels a little better now that she remembers a little more about her mom from when she was younger.**

**Review or PM me so I know how you all liked this chapter, okay? ;)**


	19. One's Birthday And Realization

**Disclaimer: I'm getting tired of having to find interesting ways of saying I only own my OCs…**

**Hopelessly Blue: I'm glad I posted when I did as well, and I hope your tooth feel better soon; mine never really hurt when they came in. And yeah, Raegas has some **_**heavy **_**demons: why do you think she used to be more of a kind and friendly person but isn't now? Still, I'm glad you thought I wrote the chapter with her mother alright- I was actually afraid I didn't do it so well… I'll try to make the memories longer this time, 'Kay? ;)**

**Liege Lord: I'm glad you liked the chapter. I do think it may be something along the lines you're thinking, although it may have a few tiny twists here and there. I do think Raegas has strong feelings towards specific things though, so it may be those that guide her to where she goes… 0_o**

**Kachie Takahashi: I'm happy you liked the chapter! I'll try to update more this week, but if I can't, check out my other story; it should sate you for a bit, eh? XD Anyway, thank you: my trip was a lot of fun!**

**A/N: sorry for the late updates lately everyone, I've been having trouble with insomnia more than usual so I'm super tired. ~_~**

I fell through the portal once again and landed roughly on a hard surface, face first. It was strange how I could still feel things as a spirit, and it was a little annoying given these portals didn't seem to like me much. I sat up and rubbed my nose, looking at the ground.

It looked so familiar…

As I stared at its smooth, seamless metal, it dawned on me: this was the floor of my home's outside courtyard. Without thinking, my head snapped up so my eyes could scan the area. What greeted them though, was unexpected…

"No looking!" my father chided, smiling down at a squirming me. I still looked like a child in this memory, too, placing this as a hazy recollection of mine. I hadn't been able to remember too much of my old life- mostly just data about my people or my family and such.

Putting that aside, I saw that the setup suggested it was my birthday. No wonder everyone was smiling at me, sitting at the second chair by the head of the table, telling me not to peek through my closed eyes. I was smiling in anticipation, almost bouncing in the chair as if knowing what I was about to get and unable to wait.

The door to my house opened, allowing an emerald-haired woman to step outside. I recognized her immediately: Vetrali. The only best friend I ever really had. I felt the familiar prickling sensation at the corners of my eyes, but I ignored it, unable to tear my gaze away from my lost friend.

Everyone went quiet and I went to take a step forward, only to pause, realizing I couldn't really touch anyone. Vetrali walked up to the little me, smiling gracefully as she looked upon my ruffled clothes and spiky hair (it used to be short like Jasin's). Once she reached little me, she slowly bent down behind me and began to sing…

"_Happy birthday, happy birthday,_

_All friends are here, happy birthday…_

_Happy birthday, dear one,_

_Happy birthday, to you…"_

A sob broke from my throat as I watched me break into a huge grin, turning to see Vetrali smiling down at her. I swallowed hard, the soreness only reminding me of when I lost her even more. With nothing else to do, I fell to my knees as I had when seeing my mother, clenching my jaw repeatedly in an effort to keep together.

The little me jumped up from her chair and into Vetrali's surprised embrace. Her expression made me bark out a hushed laugh, remembering how she was always so formal. My father's grin and shining eyes only made me feel worse.

What I was supposed to gain from such a thing, I had little idea, but I kept watching the happy memory, shocked to see I had such things left.

Little me pulled back to look upon Vetrali's beautiful face, smiling even wider when the woman did so to her. My child form let out a laugh and clung to Vetrali once more; babbling at father, saying Vetrali was already her best friend.

"Now don't go saying such things, young one; a best friend is someone very special to you." my father chided, earning a pout from little me.

"She is very special to me! I'll make sure we become the best of friends, just you watch!" she shot back, offering a mischievous grin before cocking an eyebrow at father. I had to laugh at my own small rebellion, feeling my heart pulsing painfully against my chest. Father only laughed and patted me on the head.

"Then introduce yourself!" he bellowed, his powerful commanding voice echoing faintly against the low walls of the courtyard. I smiled, remembering how he had always had a strong voice. It had been a well-known quality of his that everyone knew him by.

I stood once more, forcing myself to stand the sight with a sad smile of nostalgia.

"Yes… happiness and joy borne of your friendship and family." I didn't glance back to see Sphere, knowing it'd come to my side. I felt my face twist, showing only a small hint of sadness.

"I lost so much…" I muttered, feeling my chest heave agonizingly. Sphere was quiet for a moment.

"Yet you gained just as much." I looked at the sphere of light confusedly, too exhausted to question it aloud. It seemed to understand, choosing to continue. "New friends, a new life, you still have your siblings, a purpose…" it listed off these things as if nothing from my past even mattered: I felt my anger flare.

"I lost my species- my siblings and I are all that's left! My home was destroyed as I watched thousands cry out in agony as they died! I lost my father, Vetrali, Ciria- everyone else! I can't just move on like it meant nothing!" my voice raised as I spoke, only causing my ire to rise. Sphere was silent as I snapped, causing a small guilty voice in the back of my mind to speak up.

After a few moments of staring at Sphere I pulled back and took a breath. My shaking hands pushed through my hair in reflex and I looked away, at the celebration not twenty feet away.

"You may not be able to move on, but know that they have given you more than you believe. Look at them: do you see their smiles? Happiness gave you strength push through hard times… don't let it fade away now." It said, almost sounding like my mom. I couldn't think of what Sphere really was, but at least it made me realize it had a point.

With a heavy sigh, I tore my gaze from the memory and gazed at Sphere for a few moments before even trying to speak.

"I guess you're right… it's just hard… being alone." I stared at the ground deeply, furrowing my brows. Sphere came slightly closer as if to do something, but kept a small distance from my body.

"You're not alone. Who's on the Normandy that you talk to?" as Sphere spoke, an image of Shepard appeared before me, almost glowing.

"Who struggles so hard to be your friend?" a small scene played out as if on a screen, showing Shepard smiling and laughing, sitting with me in the CC. it then moved to one showing her placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Who accepted you before you could do so yourself?" again, a scene of Shepard and I popped up, sporting us hugging on the ground in the CC. I couldn't help the small smile that came to my face at seeing me in such a pitiful state.

"You have your siblings as well, and Ciria." A final scene showed us all eating in the Mess, being stupid and me sitting quietly, smiling lightly as I talked with the others.

Wiping my tears away, I managed a smile and peered at Sphere.

"I suppose you have a point. I shouldn't be so childish anyway…" I murmured, seeing the ball of light circle around me quickly as if in celebration.

A glow to my left caught my gaze then and I saw it originating from the now-frozen memory. Soon, it took on the same form as the light I'd gotten from my mother, only the color of sunshine this time. It pushed itself into my body, causing me to feel a rush of contentment flood my body.

"On to the next one?" Sphere said, seeing I was feeling a little better. I nodded and created another portal.

"On to the next one." I confirmed, sparing a last glance at the smiling faces of my old home. Only seconds later, I took a breath and jumped through the shining portal.

Maybe I hadn't lost everything after all…

**A/N: How was that? Longer right? Well, I try. And I don't like being late with my updates, whatever you all may think. XP anyway, review or PM me. **

**PS: Read my other story if you like this one, 'Kay? ^.^**


	20. Of Beasts And Bitterness

**Disclaimer: Hmmm… how do I say 'I only own my OCs' in an interesting way? I'm pulling my hair out here, trying to figure it out.**

**DN7: Finally! A new person who decided to review! I can't explain the happiness in me at the moment! XP Seriously though, thanks for the review and opinion; I will try to make the chapters longer but if I mashed all of the memory chapters into one I don't think it'd have the same effect, seeing as how each individual memory is a significant representation of Raegas' past, you know? Anyway, thank you for reading my story. ;)**

**Kachie Takahashi: First HB, now you? Man, wisdom teeth must be having some kind of rebellion or something! X[ Anyway, I'm glad to alleviate a bit of your misery in updating, so I'll attempt getting them out earlier. I do agree with you on the issue of Raegas though: she needs to feel at least a little better after so long of being hardened, you know? Thank you as well, you made my exhausted self feel a tad better as well! ;P**

**Liege Lord: And I have heard your wonderings, Lordy. I do agree with you as well: when will Raegas have an important revelation? If there's one to be had, of course. Still, I'm glad you liked. ;)**

**Hopelessly Blue: I'm glad your tooth is feeling better. With Raegas though, I'm not so sure she'll move on so easily; with everything that happened to her I can't say whether she'll be able to ever really heal from it. Still, I'm glad to she's recovering a bit as well (remember though, what happened to her was less than a year before she woke up in the Normandy; her mom was just the start of it). Anyway, I will try to get the others of the crew in on this as well; I really had no idea I wasn't speaking of Wrex and when I did notice I had yelled at myself a little. *-***

**A/N: Do try to forgive my recent slowness, everyone: life has officially decided to screw me up. Still, I won't give up! Don't worry about me dropping this story in case you were concerned, okay? Now let's get to the story!**

This routine of landing on my face every time I come out of the portal was really starting to irritate me. I could say, with some certainty that I knew where I was, as well, and only because I made a full-out faceplant into the dirt. At least I didn't get any of it on me, given I was just a spirit at the moment.

I sat up and looked around to see what I was fairly sure was a plain; the one I used to play in with Vetrali when my parents were away. Now that I was there, I realized just how green the grass was and how cushiony the ground itself felt under my feet. Only seconds later, laughing and giggling caught my attention. I looked to my left, over the bottom of a small hill, to see a me and my siblings in our younger forms, playing around and wrestling with each other.

I took a step closer and saw that I was sitting idly and watching the others with a smile on my face. Kareck and Jasin were wrestling with each other while Ayldrik rolled around in the grass like a pup, laughing freely. How long had it been since we were able to do that?

Just as Jasin pinned Kareck down, the younger me jumped forward and tackled Jasin to the ground. We started wrestling around as well and Kareck decided to jump the happy Ayldrik, disrupting his joyful rolling. I couldn't help but smile nostalgically at the simplicity our loves had used to be.

It didn't take long for a guard to come over the hill opposite mine though, with a thoroughly unsmiling face. He looked down at the playing children and marched right over to them. Once he was there, he took a strong hold of the younger me's arm and pulled her away from the others.

"What are you doing here, Falsha'a? You must return to your duties!" he stated, starting to pull me away. I struggled against his grip but couldn't break free, even as I braced my legs against his sides. Falsha'a was a title I had when I was younger, before I earned my name as the eldest of the family and recognized as an adult. This name referred to my status as the eldest child of nobility; it was the same as being called 'young master' if put in human terms.

"Big sister, don' go!" little Kareck cried, trying to run after me only to be stopped by Ayldrik. The younger me gave them a small smile even as the guilt in her eyes betrayed her.

Before the guard could take me too far away though, a small sound came from the cave at my back. I glanced back at the younger me to see she'd heard it as well, and from the look on her face I'd say she did. Quickly, before the guard even had a chance, I twisted in his grip enough to at least get him to let go. He dropped me and I ran up the hill, towards the cave to investigate.

"Falsha'a!" he barked, storming after her. She ignored him and jogged to the mouth of the cave, hearing the small call again. She leaned forward into the darkness to see a tiny body, all alone, crawling slowly towards her. She bent down just as the guard approached her and she picked the small thing up, cradling it to her body. I knew what the pathetic thing was instantly: Ciria. She was my original partner and Bondmate.  
>"Falsha'a! You are to come with me now!" he growled, causing a twist of anger in the younger me's face, making her eyes flash dangerously. I remember that even as a child, I didn't appreciate such things and how I'd had my father's temper. She turned, standing up with the small thing in her arms, to face the guard. He saw what she was holding and stopped dead in his tracks as his face paled.<p>

"It's hurt, we need to help it." I stated. The guard only went on the offensive and drew out his claymore of a sword, activating it. The sword lit up and fire roared along its blade in a sharp stream. The younger me took a step back, shock in her features.

"And it will die; put that thing down!" he ordered, causing the younger me to take another step back, shaking her head at him. He stepped forward and bared his sharp teeth in frustration. "I order you to put the corrupted pup down!" he almost yelled, startling me. The others came over the hill then and looked to see what was going on with expressions of worry and fear.

"What are you talking about…?" I muttered quietly, tensing up as the guard growled. This guy really needed some anger management lessons.

"That pup has been corrupted through that wound! Its parent must've been infected and that means it will return! Now put it down!" he shouted, scaring the kids more. If I weren't a spirit I'd have beaten this guy to a pulp by now.

But before I could contemplate further, a huge roar emanated from the deep brush beside of the cave's entrance. We all watched as a giant beast stepped from the brush with a bloody, dripping maw and vile, corrupted eyes, growling low in its chest. We all were frozen to the spot as the enormous beast stomped forward menacingly.

The guard then seemed to come to his senses and stepped in front of the kids, brandishing his sword. I saw the sternness in his jaw and the determination in his eyes as he grounded himself with a look of readiness. Just then, the beast roared, charging forward. An instant later, it slammed into the guard, pushing him back only a small amount. The guard himself was a large Vertoakan, and then, I was glad we had natural primal strength.

The guard growled and the beast snarled, the two of them in a deadlock, both pushing against one another. The guard was able to twist his body moments later to redirect the beast, causing it to vault forward into the side of the cave's wall, smashing part of it to pieces. Before anyone could even take a breath though, the beast rounded once more and jumped up, into the air, gnashing its huge teeth against each other.

A split second went by in slowed time, causing me to swallow despite myself. The younger me watched with widened ayes and a shaking body as the beast landed atop the guard, capturing his head within its mouth. They hit the ground with the beast still over the guard, who was then writhing and twitching furiously as if in a panic; but not one second later-

_**Crunch!**_

-he was stilled. The younger me went to take a step back once more, but tripped backward and fell on her behind, unable to look away from the grisly scene not one meter from her. A whimper escaped one of my siblings and both me and my younger self snapped our gazes to see them clinging to each other, terror in their expressions.

The beast also looked up, finished with grinding down the guard's head and shoulders, licking its chops. My younger self looked between them and in a second, she understood the monster's eyes. She turned to the others with panic written within her eyes.

"Run!" she barked, jolting the kids out of their lock. They scrambled up as the beast stepped toward them. Before they even went to move away though, they stared at their older sister.

"S-sister-" Ayldrik tried, only to be cut off by the beast's snarl as it took another step towards them.

"RUN!" the younger me screamed, startling the others out of it once more. They began to run away then, as fast as they could. Before they got far though, the beast jumped after them, outstretching its horrid claws.

Just before it could ambush one of them, a small sound emanated from the small pup in my younger self's arms. The monster paused, allowing the others to get away, and slowly turned to regard her. She tensed noticeably and glanced at the guard's crushed body, knowing what was about to come.

The beast snarled at her once more, smacking its lips as if thinking of the meal it would soon acquire. The young Raegas held the small thing in her arms tighter, causing another cry to escape its malnourished frame. The beast's ears perked forward, showing it had heard and it took a menacing step forward, growling dangerously.

"V-Vetrali…" my young self whispered, her widened eyes watering. Vetrali had always been there to look after me, and I could tell my younger self clung to what comfort she could.

The beast began to walk toward her.

"Vetrali…!" the younger me whined involuntarily, absolutely frozen.

The beast then began to charge at her.

"Vetrali!" she screamed, screwing her eyes shut and bracing herself.

In a flash, the beast was stopped in its tracks.

Slowly, the younger me opened her eyes and looked up to see the very woman she had been calling for, standing in front of her. Vetrali had the fiend's jaw in her hands, held open, with a look of absolute death for it in her eyes. It sent a small thrill down my spine, seeing that dark look in her eyes, seeing as how she's always been mild mannered.

Vetrali flipped the beast over onto its side and held its mouth open as it growled and struggled against her grip. Her expression didn't change as she replaced a hand with her foot, forcing the creature's jaws to open even wider, and reached for the B-72 Tidal Shooter on her hip.

Taking a hold of its handle, she drew it out and wasted no time in blasting mercilessly into the fiend's mouth and face, turning it quickly into a pile of bloodied flesh. A shiver went down my spine as I watched Vetrali's blood-soaked self step off of the corpse quietly. She removed her outer coat and dropped it on the ground before removing her inner jacket and stepping to my younger self, still frozen to the spot with a quivering lower lip.

Vetrali crouched down in front of her and wrapped the young girl up in her jacket, her expression gentler and warmer. My younger self began sobbing quietly and Vetrali took her in her arms, rocking her back and forth to lend her comfort. I didn't stop the smile on my face as I remembered how she had always been there for me, no matter what happened.

"Protectiveness, courage, and even fear… these things saved your sibling's' lives and gave you the strength you needed to take in horrible sights and keep them from hardening your soul. Even as the walls around your heart grew stronger and taller, you never strayed from your path." I looked to my right to see Sphere and hummed acknowledgement before looking back to the scene before me.

"Still… I couldn't say I did much here; I'd have died if it weren't for Vetrali- even the guard." I muttered, furrowing my brows contemplatively. Sphere circled around me before speaking.

"If you hadn't told them to run, they wouldn't have had a chance. Even though you knew you would die, you still protected them before yourself. Name one time you failed in doing so." Sphere's request caught me off guard and I tried thinking of such a time. It didn't take long, either.

"When my mother and Ciria died. When my people were wiped out. When I abandoned them." I stated, frowning deeply. Sphere pushed against my forehead as if to smack sense into me.

"You had no other choice! There was nothing you could've done to save them!" it argued, peeving me. I pushed it away from me and crossed my arms.

"I should've been stronger. If I had-"

"Then you'd be dead too!" Sphere cut me off, almost bouncing around in front of me as if in annoyance. Why did it take it so personally anyway? "Just accept it; there was nothing you could've done to save them! Even if you'd stayed and saved everyone, you'd be dead right now, and you'd have never met Shepard or been given a second chance at a good life!" it argued, pushing sense on me. I let out a strained breath, knowing Sphere was right.

"Fine, whatever, you're right." I said, sighing.

Another glow came from the scene in front of me and its deep Emerald body thrust into my body moments later, engulfing me within a sphere of piercing instinct. It then fully integrated into me, making me feel a little lighter than before; more alert… more alive.

I made another portal then and looked back at Vetrali and the younger me. Moments later, I glanced at Sphere evenly.

"But I refuse to forgive my failure." I stated, earning silence in return. I jumped through the portal then, feeling the bitterness inside of me once again. Whether it was in my heart or in my head, I knew I didn't deserve to be forgiven for what happened. Even if I knew I couldn't have done anything about it, what then?

What was I good for?

**A/N: That was pretty intense for a minute there… With the end to this chapter I feel as if Raegas may be receding back into her colder self, and I gotta say; I'm a little worried. ;-;**

**Review or PM me, tell me what you thought about this one.**


	21. The Burdens Of Two

**Disclaimer: I just own my OCs okay? Is that good enough for you? Is it?**

**BAMS: I suppose you'll just have to wait to find out what happened to Vetrali, eh?**

**Hopelessly Blue: I not mean! Nooo, my heart has torn asunder! ;-; … Ahem. Anyway, yeah, I do hope Raegas will catch a break and such soon, but I don't know what she'll have to go through until then. Other than that, I'm glad Raegas found Ciria when she did, even though they were attacked and stuff. I'm glad you like Vetrali though! She was pretty cool there, huh? And with Sphere, I'm not sure who it is, but I think I agree with you on that front; it's a little suspicious… Putting that aside, I found myself realizing how right you were when I read your review; Raegas really is a complicated person. I guess I didn't realize earlier because the story is really starting to grow its own wings, if you know what I mean.**

**GingerNinja26: I'm so happy you like my story! I'll do my best to update regularly, 'kay? ^.^**

**Liege Lord: Hmm, yeah, nobility can be tough a lot of the time, you know? With how things are going, I too hope Raegas will be able to forgive herself instead of returning to her shell.**

**Kachie Takahashi: I'm glad you liked the chapter, Kachie. I agree with you as well, on account of Raegas' forgiving herself. Still, we'll just have to see what happens. Oh, and you wanted to see Shepard right? Well I've got you covered this time!**

**A/N: Now, let's actually get to the story, my friends!**

"Unh!" I grunted, landing on my ass from falling out of the portal. At least it wasn't my face that I landed on again. I shook my head and looked at the ground, seeing it was dark and craggy, like a cave's floor. Not to mention it smelled horrible and blood was sprinkled across the ground, forming both small and large puddles of it everywhere.

Why was this so familiar…?

I stood then and saw an opening going to another chamber, deeper within the cavern I was in. There were suddenly voices then, hushed and low, emanating from said inner chamber. I furrowed my brows and stepped closer, wracking my brain to recall where I was. Moments later, I ended up in the next room. I could see two silhouettes not ten feet from me, but with only red tendrils of 'light' to use to see, I couldn't make either of them out. One was taller than the other, both had weapons primed and both were wearing what I could barely recognize as Vertoakan ceremonial armor; I couldn't see what their colors were though… (The Vertoak wore specific colors depending on their status and ranking; with no way to make them out I had no chance at recognizing them.)

"Why did we need to come alone? We are vulnerable on our own…" the shorter one muttered, too quiet for me to recognize the voice. The taller one then set a hand upon the other's shoulder as if to calm them.

"Be strong, O'Dea; we are the only able to reverse this now. To risk another's life is needless…" the taller one said, hitting me in the gut with nostalgia. What was going on? Why were two of a family here? O'Dea was a saying used by Vertoak to represent a 'dear one' or 'loved one'; only, in this case, it was referring to a family member.

What could they be doing here, in such an abhorrent place…?

…

Shepard sighed, staring at the ground as she made herself a cup of coffee. Raegas still hadn't woken up after a week of being submerged within a coma. Shepard had kept vigilant watch over her every day, hoping, praying she would come back to her. no more word had come in, no more missions were left to complete and the Council had stalled in their ordering her around. It was as if time stopped when Raegas went under. It was almost as if Shepard's time had stopped.

The Commander walked back into the med-bay and sat herself down at Raegas' side as she had for the past week. Every once in a while, Raegas would start to glow, each time with a different color, and then, when it faded, she wouldn't be as pale as before. Her body didn't feel as cold, each time through. And each time, Shepard had gotten her hopes up- only to be dashed at the last moment.

With another sigh, Shepard fiddled with Raegas' bangs to get them out of her face; they had gotten long ever since Shepard and the troubled Vertoakan first met.

Shepard couldn't say she had much drive lately, either, with Raegas out of it. She didn't have anything to take her mind off of the situation and even if she did, she doubted it would've helped. Her body was here but she, Raegas herself, was somewhere else; Shepard could feel it each time she brushed against the weakened woman's skin, see it in her slightly pained face. The simple fact of it seemed to almost eat away at Shepard yet she couldn't help it- whether she wanted to or not.

She took a drink from her mug and let out a breath after she swallowed, still staring at Raegas' beautiful face absently. There wasn't anything she could do to help Raegas and it bothered the Commander to no end; she could do so many things and help so many people- except for the one she cared for most. And yet, it was Raegas who was able to save Benezia, to fuel Shepard's will and give her strength when she needed it- even if she hadn't known she was doing it- and to keep everyone on their feet with her amazing mechanical skills and unknowingly-charismatic aura.

"What flaws do you see, Rae? What could you possibly not love inside of yourself?" Shepard whispered, feeling her chest clench painfully as she gazed forlornly upon Raegas, wishing for an answer, only to get none.

…

"I understand, it's just…" the shorter one said, trailing off. The other seemed to understand whatever the shorter one meant and stopped their advancement to hug her.

I narrowed my eyes and stepped closer to them, curious as to why I felt as if I'd been through here before; why I felt as if I knew who these people were.

"Do not worry over my safety, O'Dea; we will succeed through this hardship as we always have before." The taller one said, before continuing their walk along the dank, cold passageways.

I sighed in frustration and pushed on, following them.

…

Not long went by until we got to a gigantic cavern. It was full of those floating red things (almost like glowing blood that floated around) and the smell was horridly worse than it had been when I originally got to wherever we were. I followed the two along the large room, seeing more of them now since the red things were more abundant and closer to us.

I jogged closer to them and narrowed my eyes to try and make out their faces. Even if I could only see them in red light it ought to have been better than nothing, and if I could see their faces I may be able to-

I stopped. My eyes widened and my mouth went dry.

"No…" I whispered, feeling my body begin to shake. "Please…!" again, my voice whined out pleadingly, my eyes already watering. "Not again!" my shaky voice struggled out the two words, emanating just what I was thinking.

There, in the darkness, in the middle of the foul cavern was me and my mother. This was the day I lost her.

**A/N: Nooooo! Cliffhanger! I'm sorry everyone, but I had to chop this one into two parts to get this one out today and to set you all on edge because I'm horrible like that. Seriously though, this is going to be one of if not the last 'memory' sequence so… ( Unless you want to see something specific, that is- review if you do)  
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**Anyway, review or PM me, tell me what you think. **


	22. Loss And A Turn Of Hatred

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I won't even try this time. I just own my OCs and whatever I create myself throughout my story(s). -_-**

**BAMS: I suppose you're right, BAMS, though I wish Raegas didn't have to go through this again.**

**Liege Lord: I'm not sure when Raegas will realize it, but I think that when she does, it'll change the ballgame up, eh? I thought it would make some sense for Raegas' body to glow as well when she finishes each memory though, because that's what she's 'downloading' herself into each time, you know? Anyway, thanks for the review, Lordy! ;)**

**Kachie Takahashi: There's your Shepard chapter, Kachie; feel better now? XP Anyway, I'm glad you liked it and all, especially since it was kind of short. Oh well. Putting that aside, I agree in the sense that this is a major demon for Raegas to deal with seeing as how she was the only one there to help her mom and she couldn't save her; I guess it's natural to blame yourself for what happened, right? I know I would, anyway. **

**Hopelessly Blue: Jeez, HB! It's all your fault that I get agitated every time I update a chapter! I'm always like 'man, when will she review?' and 'I feel so neglected' because I wait for your reviews like some caged tiger! XD (don't worry; I know it's ridiculous for me to say that, I just wanted to be cheeky for some reason. XP)  
>Anyway, I had to smile when I saw that dramatic pose of yours! With everything going on though, I understand why you'd want to do that and also try to comfort Shepard (even though she can't hear you ;P). I can't think of anything witty right now either, so how 'bout I just say, "Love ya!" and be done with it? ;)<strong>

**A/N: Let's see what happens to Raegas, this time, when she has to face a powerful inner demon.**

"Mom…!" I choked, dropping to my weakened knees. This couldn't be happening. I couldn't live through this again!

I watched helplessly as the memory progressed, showing me and my mother, approaching the very thing that killed her and so many others: the Gavaek'Jaggx (Core of Darkness). I watched as mother handed me her staff and told me to wait there. I watched as she turned to the monstrous, choking sphere of Corruption and neared it, her expression full of so many emotions. I watched as she went to touch its horrific body-

Only to be blown away by a giant corrupted beast. She flew backward, toward the other me. She caught her and kept her from falling, glaring up at the hideous creature that only just appeared. It growled lowly down at her, glowering just the same, into her eyes. Mom stood on her own then and got her staff back from the other me, immediately activating it. Silver fire scorched along its body and ran in a sharp stream as it had with the guard's from before, only so much more intense.

"Raega, see if you can't keep it on you; I'll get it from above." Mother spoke lowly, calculatingly, as she always had in times of battle. My first name really was Raega'Darenth, so that was why mother called me by my given name; everyone back on the Normandy called me with an added 's' because it represented an old nickname my siblings gave me, after I earned my rank and title of the Vertoakan people.

The other me moved then, catching my distraught attention once more. She ran to the left, smirking when the beast followed her and roared loudly in menace. Mother's eyes sharpened and she moved behind the monster, crouching low to get ready for a jump. Before she could though, another beast went to tackle her from the side. She jumped backward, dodging easily, and brandished her staff in mid-air, sending a wave of blue fire at the new fiend. It jumped out of the way though, only getting burned on one of its frontal legs.

I looked back at my other self, hearing a grunt come from the beast, to see she and it were locked together in a contest of strength. The beast pushed at her and she pushed back, both gaining no ground- until the other me purposely fell backward, to the ground, sending the beast's built up tension against it, making it fall forward and hit into a jagged stalagmite. The roar of pain as its side was ripped open from the sharp spear-like pillar made my ears strain as my body's shaking increased.

…

Shepard's attention was caught by the heart monitor's increase in beeping. She looked closer, seeing Raegas' heart rate elevating quickly. It had gone from slow to medium to faster in only four beats or so. Dr. Chakwas rushed over, having had noticed it as well and immediately set to examining her.

The Commander found herself sitting forward enough to hear Raegas' quiet, labored breathing. Shepard took Raegas' limp hand in her own, squeezing lightly to try and lend comfort to the both of them, whether Raegas was awake or not. The woman's face tensed, showing more pain than before, causing Shepard to feel a rush of cold anxiety shoot up her spine.

"What's wrong with her?" Shepard asked, seeing Chakwas' tense expression.

"I don't know." Chakwas' admission shocked Shepard; she was a doctor and she didn't know what was wrong with Raegas?

"What are you saying, Doctor, that we can only watch?" Shepard demanded, holding Raegas' trembling hand tighter.

"She's of a species I've never studied- there's no way I can tell whether she's alright or not!" Chakwas shot back, pushing the scanner away from her. Shepard bared her teeth in frustration, finding her patience all too low at the moment.

"Joker-" she began to say, over the comm, only to be cut off.

"Already on it, Commander!" the pilot announced, sounding as if he knew what was going on.

Shepard looked down at Raegas' face to see her flushed cheeks and shallower, faster breathing with slight panic; what was happening to her?

…

The beast charged at the other me, howling in as if to call for something. She grounded herself, waiting for the right moment, keeping steady. The instant the beats hit her braced canon arm, she twisted around, pushing it to move past her and slam into the other monster mother was fighting. My heart was beating against my chest by now and I watched, helpless to do anything.

Mother sent a nod to the other me and used the distraction to run across the earthen bridge to get to the Gavaek'Jaggx. I watched her charge a light beam in her staff then, and saw as she slammed it down to the ground, sending a tidal wave of golden light shooting out across the bridge and into the beasts as they rose, seething. The wave temporarily blinded them, giving the other me a chance to land a surprise attack.

As if thinking the same thing, she launched toward the two monstrous creatures, charging her arm cannon's power beam. The first beast then stood, trying to clear its vision as it turned toward the other me; but before it had a chance, she slammed a white-hot beam into its face, disintegrating it entirely thanks to their close proximity. An instant later, the second fiend clamped its vile jaws around my cannon arm, crunching down as hard as it could, causing the other me to growl at the pain.

…

Shepard saw a sudden increase in Raegas' breathing once more and she, not knowing what to do, smoothed out the suffering woman's hair, desperate to lend her some kind of comfort. Just then, Raegas' siblings burst into the med-bay and rushed over to the bed. Their expressions were both rushed and concerned, causing Shepard's stomach to flip: expressions like that never boded well for these situations.

"What's happening to her?" Shepard rushed, unconsciously squeezing Raegas' cold, quaking hand. Jasin checked over the stats on the monitor as Ayldrik pulled the blanket from his older sister's body and Kareck ripped open the front of her shirt. In the back of Shepard's mind, she was glad Raegas was wearing a bra, but this wasn't the time for that.

"She's starting to weaken from the Corruption inside of her body; with nothing there to suppress it she'll die!" Ayldrik growled. Shepard's gaze snapped to his face and she realized just how pissed he looked; she had known how he despised the Corruption that caused his sister's condition but only then did she understand the feeling.

Before she could say anything more, Kareck's palms lit up with a white glow. He pressed his hands to Raegas' stomach, appearing as if to be concentrating extremely hard. Jasin took the blanket fully from her sister's bed and began ripping it up into strips as if to create makeshift bandages. Chakwas had little idea of what to do, and so helped when the siblings asked for it.

…

The other me tried to break from its grip, but she couldn't get away- its poisoned jaws and sharp teeth were enough to keep her in place. Just as its claw came up to deal the final blow, she managed to discharge a full-on power beam into its mouth, blowing its head away completely.

Its body fell limply onto her body, trapping her under it as mom ran over; still scanning the cavern to make sure nothing else was around. That howl from earlier still bothered me at the back of my mind, but I ignored it, trying to control the involuntary tears seeping from my eyes in painful streams. Even seeing mother- knowing what was going to happen- was enough to create shudders throughout my being.

It took the other me a minute to dislodge her arm from the fiend's half-incinerated carcass, but once she did, mom came over to help her up. She led us toward the core once more, but before they got close, an entire flood of the Spawn swarmed into the cavern, roaring and screeching- gnashing their jagged teeth and smacking their poisonous lips together.

…

"Let me help." Shepard stated, more than requested, staring into Kareck's eyes. He looked at her for a few moments as his brow began to release small droplets of sweat, seemingly searching for something in her gaze.

"This is dangerous even for me, you shouldn't-"

"Let. Me. Help." Shepard repeated, uncaring whether or not she could get hurt from this; she was going to help save Raegas if it killed her. Kareck was quiet for a moment before letting out a thick breath and looking down at Raegas' pained face as if to apologize for something.

"Fine. Put your hands on top of mine." Kareck said finally, looking to Shepard.

She took a breath before doing so, and when she did, she felt and instant pull on her; if felt as if her very energy were being sucked from her body and pumped through Kareck's hands into Raegas' body. Her mind felt as if it were opening, an all-new awareness taking over her, sharpening her senses and pulsing strength into her.

Was this what a Vertoakan felt like?

"Just concentrate!" Kareck was breathing a little heavier now and Shepard shook her head, clearing it, before focusing her energy completely on Raegas.

…

Mom and the other me exchanged glances, communicating in that one instant, then she pulled me close to the core, giving me her staff once more. Other me threw it onto her back, latching it to her armor securely so it could deactivate and fold up, facing the oncoming horde.

In her non-cannon hand, she took up her sword, drawing it from her back as she activated it. A blue-fire stream of lightning screeched along its blade, making a foreboding grinding noise of electricity. The other me's expression tightened slightly as if knowing something was going to happen, but she stayed her ground, staring levelly at the horde of monsters and horrid creatures once of a species possibly recognizable.

I stood and forced myself along so as not to get overwhelmed by their numbers and rushed all the way across the bridge to get to the other me's side. I looked at mom for a few moments, seeing her close her eyes lightly before facing the blackened mass of Corrupted beings. So many had died and been taken by the darkness of the plague from then… including mom.

Suddenly, I felt a pulse at my back and spared only a glance back to see mom had connected to the core; she'd begun to take its corruption, weakening it. Looking back to the horde, I realized how close they were when a corrupted Okro leaped at the other me, its blackened tongue lolling as it screeched loudly. She sliced it in half just before it got to her with its claws and began shooting and hacking at the flow of corrupted fiends.

She had had no choice but to do so, knowing that if we were to rest or turn to mom to help her, we would both be overwhelmed. With no alternative left, other me continued in her struggle as her breathing became slightly ragged.

I looked back at mom and watched as she slowly transformed, close to what my own Corrupted Bloodrage form did. I could only watch as she slowly died to try and save everyone from the plague.

…

After what felt like hours, mom began to break down and the other me managed to kill off those who attacked her; some ran, some simply died from crossfire. She turned to mom and limped over as fast as she could- wounds were all over her, ranging from cuts and bruises to full-on gashes. Why did I not recall that?

"Mom!" the other me screamed, grabbing her and pulling her away from the Gavaek'Jaggx. I looked over her for only a few moments, feeling a part of myself die as each second ticked by.

She slowly opened her eyes, breathing fast and shallow. She managed a smile and was able to only brush away a lock of bloodied, sweaty hair from other me's face. I sniffed strongly and felt a new set of tears begin forcing themselves out of my eyes as tiny sobs wracked my form. Even Corrupted, dying and weak, mother was still herself…!

"Rae… ga…" she whispered, making me and other me sniff. She held mom closer then and set their foreheads together, beginning to cry as she realized what mom had planned all along. She'd known she wasn't going to come back.

"Mom…! Don't do this to me!" other me cried, baring her teeth as if in pain. I felt my body's shaking increase once more as I watched, slumping pathetically against a stray stalagmite.

"Please… listen, Raega… leave this wretched place… live… warn the others… tell your father…" she muttered quietly, dumping the responsibility and weight of the world onto my shoulders, as blood trickled down her chin. She weakly took other me into her arms for the last time, holding her as she cried.

She never let go until she slowly passed on, leaving me alone…

…

"She's starting to bleed, Jasin, hurry up!" Ayldrik growled as he and Chakwas tried to heal Raegas' quaking body with medi-gel, patching up her opening wounds too slowly to help the bleeding too much. Jasin rushed over and they all slathered medi-gel onto the cloth, wrapping each strip around Raegas' wounds.

Shepard and Kareck kept concentrating, struggling to help her before she succumbed to the Corruption within her.

…

"No…" after what felt like an eternity, the other me uttered a single syllable. She shakily laid mom down, gently smoothing her hair out as the tears persisted. I had little strength left to even watch anymore, desperate to escape this nightmare.

Still, the other me stood slowly on her weak legs, staring up at the Gavaek'Jaggx with absolute condemnation. The intent in her eyes showed no sign of grief anymore- only pure rage at losing the closest person she'd ever known. Even as the blood from her wounds slowed her and pained her, she pushed further along, stepping toward the very physical incarnation of the Corruption.

"No." she repeated, her voice low and deadly. Even I felt a shiver go down my grief-stricken self at seeing what was happening to me with my own eyes.

Only a second later, other me forced a connection with the Gavaek'Jaggx. She began to take in the Corruption brutally, sucking it all up, transforming faster than was natural- even for a Corrupted state of Bloodrage. The darkness beat at her body and swirled all around her, damaging her body and self heavily.

She roared the roar of a monster as her eyes turned to an evil, glowing crimson and her nails turned to sharp talons; she roared in pain as burning symbols and runes scorched along her face, down into her armor. She roared in grief and rage as her teeth elongated, becoming fangs and giant monstrous claws formed from the swirling darkness to flank her, stretching out, past her sides and forward to claw at nothingness.

Tears still streaked down both of our faces as she finished taking in the source. The Gavaek'Jaggx was no more; it was inside of her, struggling to gain control. Other me turned slowly, hearing something down the cavern, and saw a new flood of Corrupted beings ready to fight. Her glowing eyes scanned impassively for only a second-

Then she shot forward, slamming into the wall of monsters and fiends, pushing them all back. The claws around her smacked and gashed, capturing various creatures in their grips before crushing them into nothing more than burned piles of flesh. Fire roared from her mouth, incinerating those before her as she ripped open those able to get close enough to her.

She roared once more, the sound of only pure grief and rage reaching my ears, causing me to recoil. I clamped my hands over my ears and screwed my eyes shut, crying out in helplessness and fear of myself. I had become a monster.

…

"She's hyperventilating! Kareck, hurry up or we'll lose her anyway!" Ayldrik yelled. Kareck grimaced in pain and increased the flow of energy into Raegas, causing Shepard to almost fall over from the suddenness of it.

Raegas' body was shaking even more now, almost twitching as if trying to do something. Shepard looked down at her, feeling pain at seeing what she was going through, praying she would be okay. If Raegas never came back from this, Shepard didn't know how she could go on.

"Come on, Rae…!" she whispered, baring her teeth in effort of healing Raegas.

…

"Rage… grief… hatred… these things let you push on and survive when none other could…" I barely even registered Sphere's voice as I cried and yelled in pain, feeling my heart rip apart.

Other me roared once more, the demonic noise serving to break my weakened self even further. What more emotional torture could I endure? What else did I have to go through before I was left alone?

"Let it go, Raega…" that was the last thing I heard before something cold and heavy slammed into my body, forcing itself inside. I could feel the pain and emotions within the blackness that entered my body, bringing me down into despair.

A monstrous roar I recognized as my own was all I heard before a sucking sensation took over me and I blacked out.

…

Suddenly, Raegas' eyes snapped open and she breathed in desperately as if just resurfacing from a pool of water. Shepard felt her heart jump in her chest and up her throat as their gazes locked. Raegas jolted up instantly, pushing them away, shaking like a leaf. Shepard saw the absolute pain and helplessness in her eyes and felt it emanating from her, strong enough to even cause a lump in the Commander's throat.

Before she stepped away to give her room, ignoring her need to take Raegas into her arms in relief, said woman gripped her shirt to keep her from moving at all. Her eyes misted over and tears began to stream down her cheeks, their gazes still locked.

"She-…pard…?" she whispered desperately, rending the Commander's heart in two; what happened to Raegas to make her so fragile? What had hurt Raegas so severely that it put so much strain on her?

"Rae…" she began, only to trail off helplessly. Before any more could be said though, Raegas pulled Shepard to her and buried her face into the commander's shoulder. Sobs wracked her body and hot tears gushed out of her eyes, wetting Shepard's shirt- but she didn't care. She wrapped Raegas into a tight embrace, rocking her slowly, shushing her quietly as she ran her hand through Raegas' hair.

Everyone else quietly left the room, leaving them to comfort one another. Shepard could only hope Raegas would be alright after what happened, glad to have her back after what felt like forever. This time, Shepard would watch over her and keep her safe as best she could from whatever hurt her so badly.

**A/N: Damn… that part with Raegas' mom actually had me tearing up a little. ;-; I hope you liked it though, as sad as this one was. To me, it's a little bittersweet towards the end, but maybe it's just me…**

**Review or PM me, tell me what you thought.**


	23. Haunted Before Release

**Disclaimer: Don't hate me just 'cause I own my OCs, man.**

**Liege Lord: I know, it's sad; but as you said before, Raegas a lot of hate and pain locked away somewhere- this was a big part of her past.**

**BAMS: Yeah, it's good she's back. ^.^**

**Kachie Takahashi: I do understand why Raegas turned into who she is now, but I think I too would change if I ever had to go through something like that. I have lost people close to me before though, so maybe that's how I could emulate how she reacted in the way that I did y'know? Anyway, thanks for the review, Kachie, I appreciate it.**

**Hopelessly Blue: D'aaawww, HB! You just earned 15 awesome points from me, my friend! saying 'tis got me right here; when I played DA for the first few times I got a little attached to Morrigan. ;) And I'm really glad you liked this chapter and such; I hadn't realized I wrote Raegas the way I did until I re-read the chapter and went "whoa, I wrote this?" since I have horrible confidence in myself. *.* Putting that aside, I can see you noticed Sphere's odd last comment: if I didn't know any better, I'd think this person was someone from her past. XL Still, I don't think Shepard has 'motherly' feelings toward Raegas, if you know what I mean? Even so, I'm not sure what's going to happen at the moment, what with everything going on. **

**P.S.: You're the best, HB! Thanks for the wish for the holidays; I definitely had a better time after I read your extra message. ;D Can't wait 'til next we 'speak'! ;)**

**A/N: Please, if you're going to check my profile, at least take two seconds to vote on whatever poll I may have out. It bothers me when I get a lot of views and no feedback, y'know? ;-; Anyway, on to the story!**

"Come on, Raegas, you need to eat!" Kareck's statement was the first Shepard heard as she walked into the med-bay. It was around eight in the morning, the day after Raegas came back from her coma. The night before, she'd cried herself to sleep and after watching over her for another hour, Shepard had been forced out of the med-bay by Dr. Chakwas. Still, it was hard for the Commander to get any sleep, seeing as how Raegas had seemed to be very distressed.

Now, when Shepard saw her hollow eyes and blank face, it was easy for her to grow more worried. First she was in a coma, now she was awake but barely even there, from the looks of it. Kareck was trying to talk to her, gesturing to a tray of food in his sister's lap, saying she had to eat something. Evidently, Raegas hadn't much of an appetite.

"Morning, you two; what's up?" Shepard asked, trying to keep casual for Raegas' sake; she didn't know the Commander cared for her more than she probably should have. Kareck looked to Shepard desperately then, his eyes full of concern.

"Can we talk outside?" he asked, to which Shepard hesitated. She didn't like keeping things from people, and Raegas was a certainty to that personal rule. Still, if Kareck believed it should be said in private, then so be it; Shepard could tell Raegas about it later if she wanted to anyway.

Shepard nodded to the young brother then and they left the med-bay in a bit of a rush, given Kareck's unusually fast pace. Once they were outside and the doors closed, Kareck began pacing back and forth like a caged animal. Shepard crossed her arms, getting agitated by the second; what was going on?

"There's something wrong with her, and I'm worried it may be what I'm thinking it is, but if it is then that means she'll be in a lot of pain and if that goes down then she may lock herself up again and never come back from it; going through it again would just destroy her further, leaving her with no more strength left to go on so she may-" Shepard shut off his spew of words by grabbing his arm and stopping him in his pacing. She stared into his eyes and pinned him to the spot with her gaze before letting go.

"Explain. Slowly. What is wrong with Raegas?" Shepard asked clearly, speaking slowly to try and reason with the young man's frazzled circuits. He took a deep breath then and pushed a hand through his hair, glancing around.

"See, when a Vertoakan goes into a coma it usually means one of two things; they're healing from extreme damage done to their bodies or they're healing extreme damage done to their minds and/or souls. In this case though, I think Raegas had to deal with a double whammy: her body went into a coma but her mind and soul were ejected from it, leaving her hollow. That's why the Corruption almost killed her- because nothing was there to keep it under control. Now, when her mind was ejected, it had to go somewhere, do something, right? So when she went into a coma, she also went through what our people call a Past Walk; it's when a person goes into a voluntary coma to freely explore their minds and even create their own worlds when healing from something. If that's true then Raegas would've had to go through some of the most joyous and the most painful memories that still linger in her heart." Kareck explained, straining out each word as if they themselves hurt him. It seemed to Shepard that the Vertoakan people were empaths of some sort as well, given how they had all been feeling horrible through Raegas' coma. Even now, the young brother looked very exhausted and agitated. Perhaps that healing he did on Raegas before she woke up was still stringing hm in some way.

"I see… let me see if I can talk to her." Shepard said, not wanting to get a huge rundown of what could've possibly happened to Raegas in her coma. Shepard wanted to know exactly what she had to go through and that meant going to the source itself. No doubt it would be difficult getting Raegas feeling well enough to speak much at all, but Shepard wanted- needed to help her through it. Whatever 'it' was…

"Fine. I'll talk to Ayldrik and Jasin in the mess hall; they haven't gotten her to talk either." The young brother said, before skulking off with hunched shoulders and a slumped demeanor.

Shepard took a breath before walking back into the med-bay, bracing herself. The sight inside hadn't changed at all, and with Raegas' dead eyes simply staring at her sheets blankly, Shepard felt herself shiver slightly: this was not the woman she'd come to know over the weeks of chasing Saren. This was not the woman she'd found herself caring deeply for not two weeks before. This was not Raegas at all.

"Hey Raegas…" Shepard started quietly, going to the silent woman's side and sitting down in the chair by her bed. "Kareck was right, you know; you need to eat." She said, gaining no reaction. With a small sigh, Shepard leaned forward and took the spoon in the cooled bowl of soup on the tray in Raegas' lap. She scooped some of it up and brought the spoon to Raegas' mouth, finding herself growing impatient with her companion's silence- this wasn't like the Vertoakan to just lie down and shut down. "Drink it or I'm going to make you swallow down the whole bowlful." Shepard said, seeing Raegas' eyes spark with… something…

…

"_Come, drink it up or I'll force you to drink it all." Mother stated, pushing a hot bowl of Sqreal soup at me. I felt my nose turn up slightly at the stench. Why we ate small rodents full of bitter herbs to cure sicknesses, I had little idea, but I doubt it was for the taste: this stuff could kill just with the filthy smell._

"_I'd rather eat a Brogul's behind." I groaned, referring to the race of creatures that roamed mountains much of the time in their home planet of Trgue. They were hard to hang around due to their surly personalities, gruff demeanor and bloody smell. They loved hunting in as little clothing as possible to test their strength out on the beasts of their homeland, so they usually smelled like corpses and blood._

_Mother's nose then copied my own in scrunching lightly as she imagined the sight. Before I knew it though, she came at me once more with the so-called remedy._

"_Take it or I'll call the Chieftains here myself and tell them just what you'd like to do." She shot, smirking as if she'd just won the argument. I lowered a brow at her and took the bowl before setting it in my lap. I wasn't about to eat some horrid soup just to 'feel better'. I'd be just fine in a few days anyway. The Chieftains were the leaders of each 'faction' of the Brogul people- they didn't get along well with each other, and even less with others. They were the ones who governed galactic relations and such so they could avoid appointing one leader. Brogul trust and respect was hard to come by, but when you had it you had it for good; still, one leader would put too much strain on their own culture anyway._

"_It was a figure of speech." I stated sourly, making her smirk drop into an irritated frown. "Besides, I doubt they'd all come for some useless reason as that in the first place." I added. Mom pursed her lips just as father walked in, grinning like a fool._

"_Now how are my two fires doing today? Bickering like old kin again?" he laughed, coming to the other side of my bed. I let out a forced breath, blowing my bangs out of my face, and held the bowl of Sqreal soup up at him._

"_She's trying to feed me an abomination to make me feel better." I drawled in a sarcastic tone, making him bellow out a huge laugh. Mom wrapped an arm around my neck and took the bowl from my hand. She set it on my bedside table and kissed me on the forehead._

"_Fine then, snub your nose at it for now; I know you'll wish you ate it later when the Jolts come in." she said snidely, smirking knowingly. I sighed and took up the bowl once more, ignoring father's pitying look. With a breath, I forced myself to start eating the so-called remedy, all too soft-hearted towards others trying to help me. Damned guilty impulses._

…

"Um… Raegas?" Shepard asked, seeing the strange look in the Vertoakan's eyes. The next thing she knew, Raegas slowly sipped at the soup-filled spoon Shepard held in front of her. Her expression was still blank but at least her eyes were less hollow and more gone than anything. It was as if she was seeing something else… Shepard sighed, slightly put off at the strangeness of her companion's behavior- if only she could help her in some way, get her out of whatever funk she was in…

"At least she listened to _you_." Chakwas groused, seemingly one of those who attempted in getting Raegas' attention. Shepard felt her heart stutter a bit at the possible implications of such a thing but rejected the idea as suddenly as it had come. There was no way her feelings toward the Vertoakan would be realized, let alone returned…

Shepard shook her head to try and rid herself of such gloomy thoughts and chose instead to focus on helping her friend rather than fantasizing about things that wouldn't happen.

"I can't even be sure she really heard me at all, but at least she's eating something." The Commander replied, pasting on an easy smile.

…

"You sure we should do this?" Kareck asked, worry evident in his tone.

"Yeah, letting her ghost around the place instead of mope in here could just depress everyone she passes by." Garrus said, crossing his arms, only to earn several punches to the arm from a few people and one in the face- courtesy of Jasin. The rest of the team just sat quietly and seemed to think deeply. Even Wrex crossed his arms and frowned, leaning back in his chair.

"She needs to get out of that bed and move around, try to get her mind off of whatever happened to her in that coma; not sit there and turn stale." Ash offered, actually seeing to care over Raegas' condition. Shepard sighed and pushed a hand through her hair in an effort to calm herself.

"Just let her do what she wants for now, but keep an eye on her and make sure she keeps out of trouble. With the condition she's in, it's hard to tell how 'there' she really is…" Shepard said, before dismissing everyone from the briefing room so she could mope herself. Move from one nightmare and get plunged into another seemed to be the theme of the Commander's life lately.

…

A few days later, Shepard found herself looking with widened eyes at a still Raegas and a whining Ciria. The Vertoakan was simply standing as still as a statue while the Ulaeviel whined, trying to gain her attention. Strange part was, scorch marks marred the entire room and Raegas' mouth seemed to be bleeding as she clenched her teeth around her lower lip- it was like she was holding something back. Shepard approached her slightly cautiously, worried at whatever happened to the room happening again. Still though, she took her friend's arms in her hands and looked upon Raegas' hauntingly pale face and deep expression.

"Raegas? Are you okay, what happened?" she tried, seeing a small spark in her eyes as she had before.

…

"_Raega! What happened! Where is your mother!" Father's voice barely registered in my mind as two of the Magister Generals practically dragged my limp and weak body from the ship mother and I had used to get to the corrupted source. My heart throbbed painfully and broke even further with each beat. My body and mind screamed from the torture, preventing me from true lucidity._

"_Monster…" I whispered, troubled at finding myself growing full of rage once more. Full of rage and pain and grief for all that I had allowed to happen- for all that I couldn't prevent._

"_What? What happened at that core, Raega'Darenth?" father almost yelled, jolting a small piece of me to reassert itself into my broken mind once more. So he knew. Mother hadn't told him but from this I was evident he'd found out after we left… I felt my body shudder from the memory as tears stung my eyes once more. I held them back and saw my siblings at father's side as well; I didn't want them to find out. Not this way._

"_We were overwhelmed… I fought them off but I-… I couldn't reach her in time. I took the rest- the Gavaek'Jaggx… inside of me… became a monster…!" I almost growled out weakly the last part in a bout of self-loathing but I held it back in the face of my own guilt. Everything was my fault._

…

"Whoa, calm down! Raegas!" Shepard called, forced back as Raegas suddenly barked out flames at the wall, incinerating the clock. The Commander could see faint signs of tears still in Raegas' eyes and registered the helplessness in them as easily as she recognized the shaking of her body. Shepard had to step back once more in order to avoid the immense heat of the blackened fire threatening to bite at her skin. The very air seemed to stifle as the atmosphere grew pressing and almost choking. She held an arm in front of her face in an effort to stave off the unbearable heat as she pressed her back against the wall, unable to back away further.

"Shepard!" the Commander looked over to the door to see Jasin, Ayldrik and Kareck bunched in the door's entrance, flanked by Ash, Tali and Liara. Raegas seemed to hear them as well and belched a black sphere of fire at the wall next to them instead of at the door where she was going to shoot it originally. Good; that meant she was somewhere in there still, Shepard thought.

"You're going to have to calm her down or the Normandy could very well be destroyed!" Liara called, causing Shepard's adrenaline to spike.

"How the hell am I supposed to do that?" she called back, unable to get closer to them for fear she'd be caught in the black flames.

"The only way to do that would be to snap her out of that damned funk she's been in!" Jasin yelled, baring her teeth from the heat of the room assaulting them. Shepard stared at her, agape for a few moments.

"We've been trying to do that for days! How can this be any different?" she shouted back, feeling all too helpless at the situation.

"You'd have to get close enough to her for physical contact and reach out to her with your heart!" Ayldrik answered back, earning a glare from Kareck.

"She doesn't know how!" he hissed at his brother, getting a shrug in return. He turned back to Shepard then and seemed to think for a moment. "In order to do what Ayldrik said, you'd have to shock her or something just to stop her flames and reach her!" he added, to which Shepard threw her arms up in irritation and confusion.

"How the hell am I supposed to 'reach out' with my heart? Let alone get close to her!" she shouted back, frustrated at her lack of control and worried over Raegas' well being. Why was she even spitting flames all over the place anyway?

…

"_Train or die!" my teacher called, repeating a motto of his. I jumped back from a swipe of a corrupted animal's claws and landed two meters away, panting and sweating. "Use your newfound abilities; they may help you in true battles yet to come." He added, crossing his bulging arms against his overly broad, lightly furred chest. He was a Brogul, no less, so it was natural he'd make me use 'abilities' I hated. It didn't matter to him that I had the Corruption in me; he only cared about what I could use in his glorified battles against the Spawn of said Corruption._

"_I don't know how to, let alone control them!" I called back breathlessly, dodging the tackle of another Spawn creature. Why he always made me fight against Spawn he 'captured' instead of regular monstrous animals and such was beyond me, but after I –almost- pinned him in training months before, I think he developed a bit of a sore spot with me. It would make sense, given he always made me fight against the hard stuff and go on the worst, most dangerous missions with him. Freaking Brogul are jerks._

"_Corrupted Bloodrage Shift four will work." He answered back, knowing I used the very abilities he spoke of when I went into a Corrupted Bloodrage's fourth Shift. In all, there were six- theoretically, anyway. I'd only ever gotten to a Shift five and that was when I first took in the Gavaek'Jaggx._

"_You want me to go into a Bloodrage?" I shouted incredulously before getting slammed into the far wall of the arena we were in. Did I mention Karamu's (my teacher) apparent insanity? Brogul minds seemed to think they were invulnerable or something, it was ridiculous._

"_Even I know that isn't an acceptable course of action. But if you are to protect those close to you, you must find a way to control such abilities without, as you say, 'turn into a monster'." He retorted, watching as I rolled out of a Spawn's way just in time to dodge another slam to the gut. How nonchalant he was when it came to life and death situations…_

"_I'd rather not use them at all, let alone learn to control them!" I yelled, sending an icy glare at him, to which he grunted. "I'll protect them with my own strength!" I added, pulling out my sword and slicing a Spawn in half before it could claw off my face._

"_And how well it wen when you tried to protect your mother, using your own so-called strength! Strength is power of being, mind and will! What have you to show?" he barked gruffly, causing a pang in my heart and a hesitation in my movement. It allowed the other Spawn to slam into me and send me flying into another wall, denting it. I bared my teeth and felt a Bloodrage coming on at his words- but I had to control it! I couldn't just give in after what I just said._

_I stood and spit out the blood pooled in my mouth, staring down the Spawn. We circled the arena in unison, our gazes locked and shadowed over with intent. Its red eyes stared into my own, the both of us readying for the first to make their move. How strange it was for me to feel so at ease when staring death in the eyes. Perhaps my own care for my life left me when mother died. Perhaps it left me when I locked away emotion in order to keep standing when all I wanted to do was lie down. Too bad I had nothing and no one to catch me if I were ever to fall; my father made it clear that if I were ever to give in to the Corruption I'd have nothing to pull me back. Meaning, I'd have to be destroyed in order to protect everyone else. Almost a year ago, he changed. It was because of mother's death and the loss of his Soulmate that he became so hardened, of course, and it was my own fault. He wasn't the only one who changed, now that I thought of it._

"_Focus!" Karamu's harsh bark got my attention back to reality. Just in time too, seeing as how the Spawn I'd been circling with leaped at me, its jaws open and ready to devour me. I shot forward and thrust my fist into its softer underbelly, piercing its insides and stopping it in midair. I gripped its insides and squeezed out of unconscious bloodlust common to all Vertoak. It bellowed and screeched at the pain and I threw it down before crushing its head under my boots. Funny how the Vertoak saw that as mercy, especially to a Spawn._

"_Round four complete. Commencing round five." I let out a breath and bared my teeth in aggravation towards Karamu's relentless training regime. I had a feeling I would be going until he forced me into a Bloodrage, too…_

…

"Okay Aerin, you can do this…" she whispered to herself, shaking out her arms a bit as she watched Raegas' stiffening movements. She looked like she was in a lot of pain and it caused a heavy weight to form in the pit of Shepard's stomach; that pain must've been why she was suddenly spouting fire everywhere. It was like she had finally broken from the strain of whatever had been pressing her down…  
>"Just a little longer, Rae… I'm coming for you." she muttered.<p>

Shepard shot forward, trying to think of a way to get close enough to Raegas to stop her fire. It should be easier than one would think, given she was avoiding hitting the Commander and the others, of barely, but the heat seemed to rise the closer one got to Raegas herself. It was already painful on the other side of the room, Shepard thought, so it must be unbearable to Raegas. Rolling forward the last few feet to get to Raegas, Shepard shot to her feet and gripped the woman's arms one more before forcing her to face Shepard herself. The flames stopped instantly, telling Shepard Raegas was somewhere in there, still trying to hold back from hurting anyone. It pulled on her as she stared into the red eyes of her closest friend.

Okay, now how was she supposed to 'shock' her out of that damned trance, let alone reach out to her? Shepard wracked her brain and only came up with one conclusion- the one she didn't want to do but the only one that would probably work. She felt Raegas' body tense and her expression darken as she seemed to be about to push Shepard away.

"If you're going to help her, do it now or she might stay like this!" Ayldrik yelled, startling the Commander a bit.

She tightened her grip on Raegas and screwed her eyes shut helplessly, baring her teeth slightly in frustration. She was afraid to do what she was going to have to do, but… she'd have to if she was going to save Raegas. Still though, she opened her eyes once more to stare right back into Raegas' eyes.

"Come on, Raegas, you have to come back! All the way this time, or I'm going to go insane from worry! Do you have any idea how much everyone cares about you? Can't you see we want you back?" she pleaded, seeing still no change in Raegas. Her body tensed more and she even went to step back but Shepard kept her pinned with her grip. She looked down and bit back a growl in frustration.  
>"Can't you see <em>I <em>want you back?" she muttered, before looking back into Raegas' slightly less red eyes. Had what she said reached some part of her?

Impassioned by the small reaction, Shepard let out a breath and shook her head to try and get Raegas back for good this time.

"Reach out with my heart…" she whispered, feeling her heart pulse against her chest as if in answer. There was only one way she could do so genuinely, she realized, as she unconsciously leaned toward Raegas. Shock her and reach out at the same time, huh? Fine. Shepard thought, taking a breath.

She removed her hands from Raegas' arms and slid them to her face instead. Adrenaline made her body shake even more than it was already and her heart flipped in her chest at what she was about to do. Raegas' hands braced against Shepard's stomach weakly as if to try and push her away, but whatever pain she was in prevented her from being able to do so. Shepard screwed her eyes shut tight-

And in an instant, Shepard pressed her lips to Raegas'. At first, they were cold and unmoving, but Shepard didn't give up. She pressed her body to Raegas and felt it slightly relax in answer to her as she struggled to reach out with her heart. Shepard felt her heat flip again as Raegas' own heart beat seemed to resonate against Shepard's own chest, pounding weakly. Slowly but surely, her heart beat rose, strengthening and pounding against her chest in unison to Shepard's own, meeting each skip almost with one of her own. Raegas' lips grew less unyielding then, and warmed considerably, making Shepard's chest clench almost painfully in relief.

After what seemed like forever, she pulled back from Raegas and let out a breath before opening her eyes. The sight that greeted her both relieved and worried Shepard: Raegas' eyes were back to how they had been even before the coma, yet still with that broken light about them. Her mouth was hanging open and her eyes were widened in shock at what Shepard had just done. The silence was even more pressing, she realized, as she glanced over to everyone in the doorway to see they all had the same expressions as Raegas at the moment. She looked back to Raegas and offered a sheepish smile as a blush colored her cheeks.

"What the hell…?" Raegas whispered, sounding almost like herself again. Shepard kept from crushing her in a hug and kissing her again. She chose to, instead, release Raegas' face. Before the Commander could come up with a witty remark, Raegas dropped to her knees and clutched her chest, heaving out her breaths in effort of steadying herself. The others rushed over as Shepard crouched down and wrapped an arm around Raegas' shoulders to give her support, saying nothing.

"I said shock her, not give her a bleeding heart attack!" Ayldrik almost shouted, crouching down at his older sister's side. Before Shepard could answer, Raegas shot upright on her own and punched him square in the face.

Another silence went by as Raegas relaxed back against Shepard's supporting arm, only just starting to catch her breath. The Commander herself was speechless, waiting to hear what reason Raegas had for punching Ayldrik. Slowly, she reached out and gripped Ayldrik's collar before shakily standing on her knees to glare down at her little brother murderously.

"This… was your… idea?" she asked, foreboding even through her panting. Shepard almost heard Ayldrik's gulp as he stared up at Raegas.

"N-not… exactly…" he muttered. Raegas let out a heavy breath and let him go, causing him to fall a little and lose his balance. The sister scanned her gaze over everyone once more before letting out a breath and trying to stand. She braced her hands against her knees and struggled up, only to falter.

Luckily, Shepard shot up in time to catch her, landing them in another intimate position. The Commander blushed once more and Raegas only blew a bang out of her face angrily at finding she was too weak to stand on her own. The others stood as well and awkwardly said their goodbyes, not wanting to be a part of the strange silence forming in the room. Shepard took the initiative and helped Raegas to a nearby scorched chair to allow her to sit down. She seemed to only just realize she'd been the one to destroy the former CC and looked around her for a few moments in half-shock half-anger.

After five minutes of sitting there silently, Raegas broke it. "I…" she started, trailing off. Shepard's gaze met hers for a second before both looked away from each other shyly. Shepard soon looked to her once more though, and saw the deep thought in her eyes, relieved to have her really back.  
>"If I tell you something, can you keep it a secret?" she asked finally, looking into Shepard's softening eyes in askance. The Commander only nodded, still overtaken at Raegas' return and how adorable her shyness was. It was a side she'd never seen in her friend before.<br>"I, uh…" she seemed to find the words before continuing. "I… saw some things… when I was in that coma." she said, catching Shepard's attention.

"You don't have to tell me…" the Commander said, hiding the reluctance at giving Raegas a way out. As much as she wanted to know what happened, seeing the pain in her eyes made Shepard feel restless and worried all over again. Still though, Raegas shook her head and took a slightly shaky breath.

"It started out when I saw myself in the med-bay…" as Raegas began telling her side of how things happened, Shepard found herself both enthralled and amazed at her ability to paint the scenes an feelings of what went on.

Soon though, she would have to face the largest demon of Raegas' past herself.

**A/N: Long absence, long chapter, how do you like that? ;) Still, I hope you all liked that even though I know I should've added more stuff and such. Even though I knew that ad had some more ideas, I knew I needed to get things moving again for everyone, especially after my lack of updated chapters. Still, I'll add stuff as this goes along, okay? **

**Review or PM me and tell me how you thought of the chapter! ;)**


	24. A Turn For The Worse

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I only own my OCs or whatever I create myself, thank you. Shepard is only mine in my imagination, obviously.**

**Kachie Takahashi: Yeah, losing those close to you is hard- that's a given- but when you lose someone like that, it's… Anyway, I agree with your review and I do hope Raegas has a 'lookback' on how things went down. On another note, I do apologize for not giving Shepard her own first name when she referred to herself, I'll fix that. ~-~ (Look at the previous chapter if you want to see it that badly ;] )**

**Hopelessly Blue: I'm sorry! I didn't want to keep you waiting at all! ;-; (I just didn't want to complain over my new stalker who's been seriously taking his 'hobby' overly seriously…) Ahem. Anyway, I couldn't help but grin and even *gasp* **_**chuckle **_**at your extra tidbits in the review; seriously, only you can amuse me in the way you said "reforms from explosion"! XD Putting my good mood aside, I do agree with you about Raegas and how there are several ways things can develop at this point. Still, I'm not sure how it'll go specifically, but I have a direction in mind, so worry not! ;)**

**And how could I ever do this to you on purpose? Really, HB, I felt guiltier every day I couldn't update… ;-;**

**Liege Lord: I'm gratified you liked the flashbacks I slapped in there; I figured they would kind of emulate how Raegas' mind was overtaken by her memories, showing why she couldn't really come out of the trauma of the coma's visions and such, you know? Anyway, glad you liked! ;)**

**BAMS: Sorry, BAMS, I didn't want you to suffer withdrawal! I'm a horrible person, I know, but I'm happy you got to read it soon after I updated, yes? Thanks for the review. ;)**

"… next thing I knew, you were… uh… we… I… you were… here." I felt my cheeks heat up slightly at the memory, but I kept myself from saying or doing anything more. If by shocking me they were to get me out of that hell I'd been trapped in, then Shepard really pulled through: I had actually felt my chest explode from the shock of the realization that she'd… well… nevermind.

Still, I felt horribly exhausted, I ached everywhere, my head was pounding with the force of a Thanix cannon and don't even get me started on my throat and mouth. I sighed, feeling my body still tense from the freshened pain of… well, everything that I'd gone through during and since the coma. I had to consciously force my body to keep from shaking around too much, but I failed in keeping the stomach ache from agitating my diaphragm, causing me to breathe faster and shallower than I'd liked.

A hand on my shoulder made me jump at the sudden contact, startling me. I tensed even more, remembering my mother doing the same, but forced myself to still. Somehow… that touch comforted me. Even if just a little, it was better than nothing, better than leaving me isolated and alone. That warm hand seemed to give me an anchor, something to focus on other than the blackness in my mind and body.  
>Remembering that darkness, my hand traveled to my chest and clawed at the shirt unconsciously, trying to eradicate the pulsing agony within. With little recourse, it seemed all I could do, as futile as it was. Although I felt weighed down and impossibly depressed, it was better for me to be as much myself as I could be, given the alternative- even with the memories, I found them to be just that: memories. I much preferred them to full-on flashbacks, pain, emotions and all, anyway.<p>

…

Shepard had no idea what to do but to try and comfort Raegas as best she knew how. The deep look in her companion's eyes and the incessant clawing at her heart worried the Commander. Still, what could she do without revealing herself entirely to the clueless and distracted Raegas? Nothing much, unfortunately.

Did that mean she would have to do so if only to try and help Raegas?

"Raegas, I…" Shepard trailed off, realizing it would only add to her friend's load. Before she could continue though, said woman shakily stood, visibly wincing in pain. Shepard stood as well and stayed close in case Raegas fell again, flanking her arms out a little in readiness.

"I can walk on my own, Commander." Raegas muttered stubbornly, keeping her gaze locked on the doors. Shepard felt herself flinch at the use of her official title, unused to hearing Raegas call her such. If anything, Raegas either grumbled or called her Shepard in this way that made the Commander's hair stand up on the back of her neck. She probably had no idea she did that, either, let alone on purpose.

"I'm just worried, Raegas, you don't have to force yourself to be strong all of the time!" it slipped out before Shepard could stop it and she felt herself cringe as soon as the words left her mouth. They sopped walking altogether and Raegas slowly turned her gaze to the side, still refusing to meet the Commander's direct gaze. Shepard braced herself on the inside for the biting remark she was about to get, knowing Raegas hated to be treated delicately.

"And what else am I supposed to do?" the thickness of Raegas' tone and the almost-shakiness of her voice shocked Shepard. She floundered for a response but found nothing coming to mind in answer to Raegas' question. What could she say?  
>"Really, Shepard; I have no other route, no alternative, no magical road that's going to fix all of my problems. So I ask you: what could I possibly do instead of this?" she asked once more, growing slightly more forceful. Shepard felt herself getting flustered and unable to respond quickly enough. Raegas continued.<br>"Am I supposed to smile? Tell everyone I'm all sunshine and daisies?" she urged, finally looking into Shepard's widened eyes darkly.

"Wh- no, I only meant-"

"Meant what? That I'm expected to just turn back to myself like that? Just move on like nothing ever happened?" Raegas demanded, cutting Shepard's growing panic off. She leaned forward a bit as if to urge a faster response from Shepard, glaring into her frazzled being.

"N-no, I-" again, Shepard was cut off as Raegas continued, her voice growing more demanding.

"Tell me Shepard. What am I supposed to do? Lean on someone like a pathetic child? Who could possibly make me want to, let alone help? Tell me Shepard!" her demands finally snapped something in Shepard and she grabbed the Vertoakan's arms.

"Lean on me! Can't you take five minutes to think about how much I care about you? Can't you see I can't stand to see you in pain? Why can't you let me, even if just a little? I want to support you, not treat you like a child!" Shepard's outburst had her almost yelling at Raegas from the pure emotion she'd kept bottle inside for so long. Shepard didn't even notice the paleness of Raegas' face or her widened eyes and open mouth as she blindly gripped at the Vertoakan almost in desperation.  
>"I don't know why you think you have no other choice unless it's your pride that's in the way! Leaning on someone isn't as much of a weakness as you think, Raegas, how can't you see that?" Shepard stopped then, out of breath and out of whatever made her practically yell at Raegas. As her sight seemed to clear and she saw the utter shock upon her captive's face, Shepard flinched before hurriedly releasing her.<p>

Before Raegas could speak, Shepard fled the room and practically leaped into the elevator. She punched the button for deck one and fell back, letting herself slam against the hard wall as the machine began to rise. The Commander pushed a hand through her hair and sank to the floor, heaving a heavy sigh of regret.

"What have I done?" she whispered, screwing her eyes shut and baring her teeth. How could she have done this to Raegas? How could she have let herself slip so easily?

Slamming her head against the wall behind her, Shepard seethed at herself. Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut and let Raegas vent instead of just yelling at her like that? She felt so stupid for it and knew, in the back of her mind, that her friendship with Raegas was next to utterly destroyed.

"Dammit!" she cursed, colliding her fist against the grated metal floor in frustration. She refused the tears at the corners of her eyes from falling, feeling all too helpless in the storm she'd been caught up in.

**A/N: I do apologize for the shortness and the drama, but I needed to get an update up and I'm not entirely sure where to go from here, so… yeah… Seriously though, I'm not one for drama as much as I'm not one for dresses and the like; I only hope you don't hate me for pulling you around the proverbial roller coaster recently. **

**Review or PM me, whatever floats your boat, okay? Okay.**


	25. Before She Was Taken

**Disclaimer: Honestly, I'm getting tired of repeating 'I only own stuff and OCs I create' in every chapter. (Insert accompanying witty remark here)**

**Hopelessly Blue: Aww, you're so sweet, HB! I'm glad I get special treatment from you, it makes me all warm and fuzzy- and that rarely happens! ^.^ *clears throat to calm self down* In any case, I'm relieved-and happy- that you liked the chapter, as melodramatic as it was. The pom poms were also a nice touch, BTW. ;) Putting that aside, I feel safer already, what with you watching out for me- thanks! ^.-**

**Kachie Takahashi: Shepard says it (her name) to herself right before she starts for Raegas, JSYK. Anyway, I'm happy to hear you liked the chapter; I think I may have been in the same spot as well if I were in any of their positions. XL**

**BAMS: Thanks BAMS, it's good to hear you liked it. Of course, the song you said could fit this- I hadn't thought of it sticking to a song 'til you brought it up. I've heard it before as well and I have it so I'll give it another listen while I'm writing a 'thick' part, okay? ;)**

**Liege Lord: Yeah, that Thanix canon comment just kind of jumped out of my strange consciousness and into the chapter… Still, Raegas hasn't forgotten about the scene where the Normandy used it in the second game so maybe she just equated the power of the blast to the severity of her headache. Well, you never know, so I guess we'll just have to accept my little excuse, huh? ;) Thanks as well, Lordy!**

**A/N: Now let's get back to the drama, everyone!**

Shepard just- she told me she-… she likes me in the one way she's not supposed to! Goddammit! What the hell was I supposed to do now? She just _had _to fucking add to my already traumatized self's problems, didn't she?

I couldn't hold it in anymore and allowed myself to just yell in frustration, slamming to the ground. Shepard hadn't even noticed she practically shoved me when she let go too, so she ended up pushing me to the fucking ground. How caring.

Ciria then nuzzled my neck, whining. I forced a heavy sigh to try and calm down before laying a hand atop her head. This entire situation screwed me up; first, I was practically resurrected and woke up on Shepard's ship so many years after I had been forced into that prison, then I was shoved into fighting with said Commander against Saren as I swore never to become friends with Shepard, next my memories got all fucked up and replaced with my 'original' ones and I find out what happened to my family and shit. Three months later, I relived my worst nightmares, almost wet insane and was told by the one person I couldn't grow attached to that they _liked_ me.

And I say again: Fuck.

"Just… kill me and throw me the hell away before I go insane from all of this. I just watched my mother die- again- and before I even have a chance to recover at all, Shepard comes and tells me the worst possible thing she could." I muttered, earning another whine from Ciria.

…

Two hours later, I was still lying on the ground, trying to ignore the pain resonating throughout my entire being. Both emotionally and physically. I took a painfully deep breath and forced myself to sit up, jolting Ciria from her spot on my stomach. I couldn't just sit here and rot, as much as I wanted to, and it wasn't going to be long before someone came to see me. I didn't want to be talked to, I didn't want to talk and I did _not _want to see anyone- especially Shepard. I couldn't.

Ciria followed me out of the room and into the elevator, which, luckily, was empty. I pressed the button for deck one and waited as the doors closed. After everything that had happened and after all that I'd done, how could Shepard like me at all, let alone care for me so much? I had never really warmed up much and I'd rarely even opened up to her about personal things. I didn't understand what it was to be cared for let alone to feel such things… I couldn't even be sure what true happiness felt like anymore…

Did I? Not that I could remember, seeing as how a lot of my memories were still vague and messed up from all of the confusion going on lately. The flashbacks had shown me and reminded me of a lot of what I'd forgotten, but through that, the memories had brought back a lot of old feelings I couldn't be sure I actually wanted.

I passed the CIC and headed toward the airlock. Unfortunately, I caught Joker's attention before I could get out. He shifted in his chair and called out to me, obviously surprised I was even up there.

"Hey, well if it isn't the zombie! What 'r you up here for, to creep on me or something?" he asked, smiling. I felt myself frown slightly as my nose scrunched in distaste: I wasn't in the mood for useless banter.

Wordlessly, I stepped into the airlock and closed the door behind me. Once the decontamination cycle was over, I walked out of the ship and looked around to see we were at the Citadel of all places. With a contained expression of anger, I walked into the elevator with Ciria still at my side.

…

Another few hours passed before I realized I had absolutely nothing to do. It was always Shepard dragging me to various shops and such for upgrades or to eat weird food, or Tali wanting to take me to help her pick out upgrades and trinkets for her suit, or Liara making me pick out more clothes to wear when I was in a 'casual mood'. With no one here, I had no direction and no reason to go anywhere, including the Normandy itself.

I still felt horrible and I wanted to just forget everything that had happened to me all over again. It was hard enough just to hold in all of my emotions to keep them from showing; a few people had come up to talk to me over the course of a few hours, but I'd evidently scared them all off with my 'scary look'. If anyone was to blame, it was stuck between me and Shepard: she had never given up on trying to get past my barriers and I had never run her off. Now look at where I was.

"Oh hey, Raegas!" I looked up and saw some lady jogging up to me with a big smile on her face. It was Jane, the girl I met back before I went to Noveria. I kept myself from glaring at her simply out of my foul mood and put my hand up in greeting. She stopped in front of me and smiled even wider.

"It's been so long since we've seen each other! How are you?" she inquired, rubbing my nerves. I took a breath and shrugged, forcing a smile that looked more like a grimace than anything.

"Fine." I muttered. She had sent me a message a few days after I'd met her and I had answered back, fully intent on telling her I didn't want to talk to her, but somehow, I had ended up becoming some friend of hers. I didn't consider us any more than acquaintances, but she didn't see it that way apparently. How bothersome.

"Oh, I see. Love trouble?" she asked with a knowing smirk, shocking me. I furrowed my brows as she sat down beside of me on the bench.

"No." I denied, only having her smile widen.

"Honey, it's written all over your face- trust me, I know." She stated, putting what was meant to be a comforting hand on my thigh. It only aggravated me further.

"…" I said nothing and crossed my arms, irritated, hoping she would just leave me alone. She didn't.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, and it's probably none of my business, but I can tell you need someone to share with… Oh, I've got just the thing!" she said suddenly, pulling out her Omni-tool. She messaged someone quickly before turning to me with something of a Cheshire grin.  
>"I know someone on the Normandy you should talk to, she's great with things like this. I'm sure you know her as well so you won't have to feel uncomfortable." She said, making a muscle in my eye twitch. A Normandy crewmember was the last kind of person I wanted to talk to.<p>

I was about to get up to leave, too, until something sharp impacted my neck. When I stood and turned to see what it was, another spike stabbed into my neck. Then another. Before I could process what had just happened, blackness overtook my vision and I fell into a world of darkness.

…

"Hey Commander, you ought to find Raegas and yell at her again for me, 'kay?" Joker called, catching Shepard's attention. She held in a sigh and rubbed the back of her neck as she walked into the cockpit.

"Why would I do that, Joker?" she asked, feeling all too exhausted.

"She just ignored me when I tried to cheer her up when she came up a few hours ago!" the pilot answered, sounding as if he felt wronged or neglected. The commander pursed her lips for a few moments before answering.

"Your 'cheer up' pep talks consist of you teasing them until they get angry at you instead of their own problems, Joker." She retorted, furrowing her brows.

"Man, I get no appreciation around here!" he cried, throwing his hands into the air. Shepard then blinked a few times as realization dawned on her.

"Joker. Were you spying on us?" the Commander asked, her voice low and deadly. Joker noticeably stiffened in his chair, his eyes widening.

"Uumm… no…?" he said slowly, knowing Shepard already knew. He had had a feeling he shouldn't have given in to his curiosity when he heard about Raegas' epic freak out in the CC.

"I know I shouldn't ask this…" Shepard sighed, catching Joker's attention. He had been sure the Commander would break him or something- he knew she hated to be watched.

"Huh?" he asked, suddenly confused. And why was Shepard all depressed-looking? Joker wondered to himself several similar things before Shepard finally continued what she'd been about to say.

"What… happened, say, after I left…?" Shepard asked slowly, already looking as if she regretted it. The pilot raised a brow but gestured her over to his console as he activated the footage he'd… acquired. Shepard knocked him over the head when she saw he'd recorded it but still told him to play it.

"_Not only did I go against the cardinal rule of not being friends with Shepard, but I end up getting told she likes me!" Raegas yelled, fisting her hands so hard that her knuckles turned white. She jumped up from the ground, apparently having been pushed down.  
>"And I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but… she's my friend… DAMMIT!" she yelled once more, not even noticing as electricity speared from her hands and impacted the wall to create a new scorch mark. "Just perfect that she dumps this on me while I'm fucked up over seeing my mother die! Again!" Raegas paced around the room like a caged lion with a death glare in her eyes. Ciria's whine went unnoticed as said Vertoakan proceeded to bare her teeth; electricity was visibly arching around her fists now, the color of blood.<br>"Of course she likes me in the one way she's not supposed to! What the hell should I do now?" Raegas' tone was bitter enough to shame a powerful espresso, causing her own anger to flare once more. In response to her growing ire, Raegas' eyes turned a deep, dark garnet color as strange runes seemed to spill from her eyes and drop down to her jaw in the form of glowing tattoos. She didn't even seem to notice as she continued to pace.  
>"Not to mention the fact of what happens after…" she trailed off and suddenly came to a stop as her eyes narrowed. "What would happen if I were taken out of the picture? Better, worse, no change… Ciria!" Raegas called, looking over to the Ulaeviel as it approached her. Raegas sat back down and seemed to calm slightly as Ciria nuzzled her companion's neck.<br>"Everything would just get too complicated if I left. Not that I have anywhere to go… not that I want to have anywhere else to go…" she muttered. _

_She seemed to think deeply for what seemed like forever before letting her back slam to the ground as she released a yell of frustration. Her face contorted, showing tangled emotions even as the flow of electricity in and around her hands ceased, the runes receding until they were no longer there. Ciria nuzzled Raegas' neck and whined once more, gaining the Vertoakan's attention once more. She rested a hand atop the Ulaeviel's head then and heaved a great sigh, closing her eyes almost as if in pain._

"Fuck…" Shepard muttered before rubbing her face in exhaustion. She had been worried Raegas may hate her now, but if she had such a reaction as that, then their friendship was all but broken. Shepard wanted to beat herself over the simple fact that she yelled at Raegas when she was in such a vulnerable state, but to say what she did and drive the one she cared for so much to almost go into a full-on Bloodrage was unforgivable.

"There, I erased it." Joker said, showing the 'deleted' message on his console. Shepard had no energy left to even just punch her grating pilot anymore…

Choosing to rid herself of at least one thing on her to-do list, Shepard headed for the airlock. Joker asked where she was going and the Commander stopped before checking over her Omni-tool's messages. She found one and read it quickly before looking back to the cockpit.

"Out. I'll be back when I can." Shepard answered, before heading out of the ship.

She could only wonder where Raegas was and how she was doing at the moment. Probably no better than she was, if not worse. Not to mention she had to meet an old friend over some problem she mentioned. If only Shepard could ask someone to take care of her problems as well... She had no idea how she was going to amend her and Raegas' friendship. And even if she did, there was little chance she was going to be able to anyway.

"Rae…" Shepard whispered, hoping to whatever powers that be that she'd somehow pull off a miracle and fix everything.

…

"Gone?" Shepard asked, looking to Jane Pewter, her old friend. She and Jane had spent a few months together when Shepard's mom took her in. Jane had been a good friend and had stood by her even when Shepard announced her joining the Alliance. It had been a while since they'd seen each other too, what with the both of them having conflicting schedules. Still, they messaged each other every now and then.

"Yeah… I had told Raegas-"

"And it's Raegas?" Shepard almost yelled, shocked that Jane and Raegas even knew each other. Jane gave her a quieting look before looking around worriedly.

"Look, I don't know why you're so messed up and depressed right now but I met Raegas months ago. I saw her again today and she looked so depressed- even more than you- that I sent you a message to come and meet her to give her advice or something since the both of you are on the Normandy." Jane explained, looking her friend up and down. Shepard heaved a sigh and pushed a hand through her hair.

"Jane…" she started, only to be cut off by her companion's gasp.

"Wait just one second! It's you! You're the- Oohh…" Jane said, confusing Shepard. "Girl, you have _got _to be kidding me; you and she are together? Just what happened on that ship, Miss _Commander_?"

"What? No! We're not- she isn't- Jane!" Shepard was blushing so much even her depressed aura was drowned out by it for a few seconds. Jane looked her up and down, putting a hand to her hip as she nodded her head.

"Yeah, well, you may not be together but it's obvious you like her. Anyway, I'm getting off the topic! I just said your girlfriend is gone and you're not doing anything!" Jane smacked Shepard's shoulder, seemingly snapping her out of the blush.

"Where did she go?" Shepard asked, hoping Raegas was okay. Jane looked around once more and looked almost guilty for a few moments before turning back to Shepard.

"Aerin, she was taken."

**A/N: Ooh, I wonder, what's happened to our troubled Vertoakan? And what's this about Shepard having a friend? What a twist, my friends, what a twist indeed!**

**Review or PM me, whichever one. G1 out!**


	26. Chasing After Ghosts

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I own only whatever and whoever I create, you guys. Of course, you could just forget that for two seconds and read the freaking update! **

**Liege Lord: It is good Raegas didn't reveal too much, but if she slips up let's hope no one's there to catch her on it or something. With the kidnapping thing, you'll just have to read and find out just who kidnapped her! ;)**

**Kachie Takahashi: I was worried over Raegas saying something as well, as I'm sure most were. It's good of you to care about her so much, she and I appreciate it, yes we do! ;) Anyway, I hope Jane really isn't a bad guy… I don't think she is, but you never know how these things turn out, eh?**

**Hopelessly Blue: I do wonder who took Raegas, as we all do, no doubt. I suppose we'll simply have to get through this new obstacle to come out stronger than before. You know how it goes: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Of course, if it traumatizes you for the rest of your life, it could go the other way and make you more of an insecure and depressed person. Sorry, I'm starting to rant. ~.~ Anyway, I'm glad you thought that bit with Jane was funny; it kind of is when you think about it. Well actually, it is even if you don't, but… I really need to stop writing responses when I'm all distracted. *sighs* Putting my fault aside, I completely agree with you on the point of their relationship and how they both need each other; that said, I wonder when they'll be able to resolve all of this, you know? ;)**

**A/N: Alright everyone, let's get straight to it before I pass out! Onward hoooo!**

"Taken by whom!" Shepard more yelled than asked, her eyes completely bugging out. Jane tried to wave her down as she began to pace back and forth, muttering to herself.

"I don't know, but I have an idea to track her." Jane said, getting the Commander's attention back once more.

"Well what is it; we need to get after them!" Shepard again said it in that ordering/freaking out tone that said she had little control over herself at the moment. Jane took the sign and put a hand on her friend's shoulder to try and calm her down.

"Just listen to me, Shepard; a lot went down before you could get to us." Jane said, her eyes brooking fearful worry. Shepard forced a shaky breath and nodded.

"Alright. What happened, Jane?" she asked, sounding a little more herself.

"It all happened so fast…"

_Jane looked over to tell Raegas it was going to be alright only to see a needle of some kind lodged in her companion's neck. The woman jumped up and looked all around them, Jane doing the same, before another needle full of greenish glowing liquid impacted Raegas' shoulder from the shadows. Not one second later, another one hit Raegas' chest, forcing itself in._

_Jane caught her just when her legs gave out and held her up as best she could, still looking everywhere possible. Even from seeing the trajectory of the needles, it was impossible to tell where they'd come from with the shadows all around caused by the fake setting sun. _

_All of a sudden, armored soldiers of some kind came from the shadows. They attacked Jane and sent her to the ground quickly with her being unable and unready to fight, taking Raegas from her when she fell back. Still, she managed to kick one in the face and shatter his visor to see what looked like cybernetic eyes underneath before they knocked her out from behind._

"Next thing in knew, Raegas was gone and those… _people_ were gone." Jane finished, seeing Shepard's fast breathing and quick pacing. It was obvious the Commander wasn't taking the news well that her girlfriend was kidnapped, let alone how she was only a few minutes too late to save her.

"If only I'd come earlier…!" Shepard almost growled at herself. Jane smacked her in the arm to get her attention before pinning her with a raised brow and serious expression.

"If you were here they may have taken you too for being who you are. I don't even know why they didn't kill me as a loose end or something." She said, making Shepard see some sense.

"We need to get her back. _Now_."

…

I slowly came back to consciousness, feeling all too exhausted and out of it to even know where I was- I could barely even crack open my eyes. I only saw legs moving back and forth, covered in armor I felt déjà vu at. I watched them for a few seconds before trying to crane my head to see where I was being taken to, but managed only to catch a sign saying we were headed for the dock station.

Next thing I knew, something hard smacked into my head. My eyes slid over to see one of the armored people looking at me through a broken visor. His face was completely blank and his eyes looked cybernetically enhanced, being a mechanical red color similar in vibrancy to TIM's. How strange… he must've been brainwashed or something to look so mechanical.

"She's waking up." Broken visor said, looking to one in front. I couldn't see, given I was dangling over someone's shoulder, feeling completely numb and empty of energy.

"Give her another Krogan sedative." I furrowed my brows at that, not comprehending for a few moments. Then it hit me: they had used Krogan tranquilizers on me before. Assholes.

_Wait! I'm being kidnapped! Raegas, wake the hell up! _My mind yelled, driving adrenaline into my body as much was possible. I felt my hand twitch in response to my inner calling to move, to do something, and I managed to flex a little. If only I could make some sort of signal… Someone must be looking for me!

Right?

Shit, I could only hope so… Just then, I caught sight of what looked like a grenade on the guy's belt that was carrying me. Just as broken visor reached out another tranquilizer, I gripped the grenade and flipped the activator with numb fingers. Broken visor suddenly stabbed the tranquilizer into my neck, causing the liquid to numb me even more and cause darkness to encroach my vision once more. I dropped the grenade as my eyes closed, hearing yelling.

Just before I lost consciousness, I felt a strong force hit me and I thought I went flying, but it was too hard to tell in my fogged up mind. I could only hope the explosion caught someone's attention…

…

BOOM!

Shepard and Jane felt the ground shake slightly and they ran along the corridors towards the docks. As soon as they rounded a corner that led them to the entrance, Shepard saw fire and smoke spilling from one of the dock station's doors nearby.

"Raegas!" she yelled, knowing it was who she was trying to find. The Commander surged forward, pumping her arms as she gained even more speed, leaving Jane to rush after her.

Shepard burst through the doors and leaped across the stray flames by the walls, looking everywhere for any sign of Raegas. She ran all the way down the hall and turned another corridor, dodging a falling ramp next to what looked like the explosion's origin. Shepard kept going then, hoping she could catch up in time to save Raegas.

She turned another corner and came to a lobby right outside the dock where the ship of Raegas' captors should be. Shepard kept pushing herself, breathing heavily, and leaped through the doors on the other side of the room. Immediately, she saw them: the bastards that took Raegas.

"Hey!" she yelled, as the ship's engines came online, drowning her out. She growled to herself and ran even faster, seeing Raegas hanging over one of the bastard's' shoulders, completely limp.

They didn't notice her as they rushed inside the ship. Just before the doors closed, Shepard managed to jump through. She slammed into one of the bastards, bringing him down against the wall with a sickening crack, signaling his neck breaking. The other two snapped their gazes to Shepard and the one with the broken visor shot at her in the confined space, only to get a swift kick in the crotch. He dropped to his knees and Shepard slammed her fist into his temple, taking him down. The last one then dropped Raegas and went to sweep kick Shepard. She felt a rage at seeing Raegas being dropped so unceremoniously and jumped, evading the kick just in time. She went to uppercut the asshole, but was stopped by a thud against the back of her head.

Before she knew it, she was out.

…

"Dammit, Aerin!" Jane yelled, seeing her friend run straight into a fire zone- literally.

Knowing she couldn't keep up with the fast runner, Jane decided to message Joker and tell him all she could before she ran after Shepard. Good thing she got his number from Raegas a few months before when the Vertoakan had told her to 'like him instead'. The woman had no idea just what her words could've been taken as.

"Jane? What are you calling for at such a weird hour?" Joker's voice asked, sounding groggy. He must've been napping at the helm again.

"Get your ass in gear, cripple! Raegas has been kidnapped and Aerin's going after her!" she yelled, running past the explosion's scorch marks and ruined floor.

"What the hell! I'm up! What happened?" he tried all at once, suddenly sounding alert.

"Long story short I saw Raegas a little while ago and we were attacked; they took her and knocked me out! When I met up with Shepard I told her what happened and we went after the dicks who stole her!" she answered back, running through the lobby and into the docks-

Only to see the ship taking off.

"Fuck!" she cursed, breathing heavily. She pulled out a small, round device from her pocket and threw it onto the hull of the ship before it got too far away. Not one second later though, it was roaring out of the docks and out of sight.

"What?" Joker rushed, obviously not liking being in the dark on what was happening.

"They've already taken off and Shepard somehow got in there too!" Jane wanted to punch something out of frustration but kept it in and started running back, towards where the Normandy's dock would be.

"Commander!" the pilot whined, sounding as if Shepard would hear him. "Jane, get your ass to the Normandy and tell me where to go to save those two!" he yelled then, causing Jane to smirk at his petulant tone.

"Already on it! Fire up the engines, I'll be there soon!" she answered, hoping to god they would be okay.

**A/N: There you are, a timely update full of *gasp* more drama! I really need to stop this melodrama thing… cliffhangers, sure, but I've never been one to stomach much drama before I got irritated more than anything, you know? **

**Anyway, review or PM me, whatever you think is more convenient for yourself; I really don't mind either way.**


	27. Barely Contained

**Disclaimer: I only own stuff and people I create myself; Bioware took the rights to everything else already.**

**Kachie Takahashi: Yeah, Shepard can be really reckless when it comes to Raegas, I guess. And yes, I've been getting that 'creepy' comment on those guys a lot… of course, they are a little creepy so it works out. I agree with you on them getting out and working this mess out soon- otherwise, I may have some physical reaction to all this drama. I can feel it already! It's coming on! X_X**

**Hopelessly Blue: I can see now why this new turn of events has everyone hanging on the proverbial edge; it's hard to not smell the stench of an oncoming drama-overload. And yes, I suppose it is possible these jerks know something of Raegas- they'd have to in order to actually want to kidnap her that bad I suppose. Funny scene at the end, BTW, it was quite amusing! ;)**

**Liege Lord: Great ideas there, Lordy, you're thinking outside of the box. Well, I suppose you'd have to have a box in the first place for that to be true, but let's just forget that little detail, eh? Anyway, I also hope everything is explained soon as well. ;)**

I awoke slowly and against my own will, wanting to stay unconscious. I wanted to ignore the heavy feeling in my chest and the burning in my body; it felt as if I was sinking in a pit of fire and ice.

"Wake up, Miss Raegas." A voice cut in, sounding a little on the frustrated side. A chuckle came from somewhere in my mind as I allowed myself to come back to full lucidity.

Screw the pain. I wanted to beat whoever was trying to wake me up.

My eyes opened to see a man in some military-ish uniform with a lab coat over it. I could almost see the disgusting aura surrounding him, encompassing the air around him- it almost made me gag from the stench. Thanks to whatever they injected into me and my own will, I didn't feel groggy or tired at all. Still, I felt horrible- and that was putting it mildly.

The man looked me over with assessing eyes and slightly pursed lips as if in thought, crossing his arms. I smirked at him, getting his attention, and pinned him with a sly expression. Too bad I was strapped to the table so I couldn't move. It would've been nice if I could punch him at least.

"How kind of your men to allow me some rest; I was having a horrible day." I almost purred, my smooth voice taking him in. Vertoak had a charm about them that could, if used correctly, almost hypnotize and even brainwash people into believing or doing what they were told. It was hard, seeing as how I was out of practice, but at least this jerk was arrogant enough to let his guard down for me.  
>"Too bad their boss is a dick." I finished, drawing venom into my voice to purposefully snap him out of it.<p>

He jumped, startled from the trance, and blinked a few times. After a few moments, realization dawned on him and he glared at me. I really didn't like this guy and he'd barely even said anything to me. I could almost see the cogs working in his brain, deciding whether or not he should hit me or something.

"You have enough attitude there to sink a boat." He grumbled, reaching for something on a table by me. "Now, tell me your secrets; why didn't we find you when we searched that ruin?" Dick asked. Now it was my turn to be startled: they had found my prison before Shepard.

_No wonder the place was so empty_, I thought, recalling a time Shepard detailed what she saw to me. My heart pinged at the thought of Shepard then, causing me to feel overly irritated with myself.

"You have bad eyesight?" I suggested, earning another glare. Well he had temper issues, that creep.

"Play games with me and you may have to watch your friend there scream in pain." He gestured to a security screen and switched it on, showing me Shepard lying on the ground in a cell, unconscious.

Forcing myself to keep calm and not go straight into a rage, I looked to Dick with impassive eyes. He blinked, seemingly wondering what I was looking at him like that for. It took all I had to stay my anger before it could make me do something I may regret. After all, if I killed everyone with no clue as to where we were, I'd just land us in another vat of trouble.

"If you know much about me, you should also know I don't even like her that much." I said, rolling my eyes slightly for effect. The fact used to be true, but now… Now, I couldn't stand the thought of Shepard getting hurt because of me. But why?

"Fine then. Answer my questions and I won't have to hurt you." he said, knowing I wouldn't fall for his threat. Guys like these were almost always bluffing. I furrowed my brows and frowned at his command then; I didn't appreciate being bossed around.

"With what, genius? You going to talk me to death?" I inquired, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Hm. With this, actually." He answered. Before I could see what he had in his hand, he stabbed me in the ribs. I felt the knife sink deep into my side, a slight tingling sensation surrounding the blade.

"How uncreative." I managed, my voice thick from the feeling of a knife in my side. Why did it hurt so much?

Dick then smiled at me and pressed a button on the handle of the knife. The next thing I knew, electricity coursed through my system and hit every organ possible before heading to my brain to deliver a straight-up kick. My body warmed up and I found it hard to breathe from the straps tight against my chest and stomach.

Once it finally stopped, I felt my body's twitching and jerking as Dick leaned over to look at the stab wound. I could barely move even if I wanted to, and that knife in my side made it harder to breathe at all.

"Aww, it looks so painful; better keep it in there to restrict the bleeding as long as possible." He made a pouty face at me, to which I glared, making him back up.

"You should've come with a fucking warning label." I rasped, making Dick chuckle a little.

"Oh, you've got a sense of humor after all! This will be exciting." I held in a groan at his almost giddy statement and readied myself for what was to come.

…

It had been at least two hours that Shepard had been awake. Other than the guards outside of her cell door, no one else had showed up. She couldn't stop worrying over Raegas and where she was or if she was even still alive, let alone okay. Just the notion of losing her made Shepard's stomach curdle.

"My, well if it isn't Commander Shepard, the great human Spectre." At the sudden voice, Shepard looked up to see a gross-looking man with messy, graying hair and a lab coat that was mussed and drenched in blood. Shepard's heart suddenly rammed against her chest at the implications of what that blood could mean.  
>"Oh, don't worry Shepard; she's still alive… mostly. I can't lose her yet, and to make sure of that, we took you as well, given you so helpfully volunteered before we left. You'd be surprised at how much leverage you've been." The asshole smiled, noticing her stare on his lab coat. The Commander sent him her coldest death glare, wiping that smile right off of his face.<p>

"What are you talking about?" she snapped, standing and going to her cell's door to stare the bastard down. He waved her off and turned a little to look off at some other spot in the room.

"She's quite strong-willed, you know; she didn't respond to our more… direct methods, but she did open up when you were threatened. The poor thing made me attack her psychologically before she'd say anything more than insults to me." he mused, the sick sympathy causing Shepard to grow more enraged.

"What did you do to her?" she almost yelled, baring her teeth, maddened.

"Now there's no need to yell, I'm standing right here." A gleam in his eye then appeared as a disgusting smile spread across the asshole's face. "And besides, I doubt you need to know the exact details… other than how I specified exact details on what we would do to you were she not to talk. The psychological stress of listening to said methods hastened the breaking point of her will in crumbling to pieces. Unfortunately, I'm afraid I may have gone a little far; she won't talk at all, anymore…" he sighed dramatically and looked to the ground in mock sadness.

Shepard slammed her fists against her cell's wall and felt her own control slipping.

"You bastard!" she shouted, infuriated beyond reason. She had to save Raegas somehow. She had to find her and get the hell out of this place!

"Calm down, Commander, there's no reason to make me angry." He said, finally turning serious.

"Let her go. Now." She ground out, her voice low and dangerous.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Commander. You see, Miss Raegas is going to provide my boss and me with some answers- answers we need to keep up the research of that ruin and its technology." He replied, clasping his hands behind his back, starting to walk leisurely back and forth in front of her cell as if to rub it in.

"You were there? How do you know about that?" Shepard demanded, wanting so bad to beat the living shit out of this guy.

"You really think you were the first and only person to find that pace?" he asked rhetorically, frowning slightly.

"Who the hell are you people?" Shepard almost growled, growing less and less patient.

"Just call us Black Frontier. You see Commander, all you need to know is, Raegas is ours now; there's nothing you can do, so why don't you just relax here and be a good little girl." He smiled as if satisfied, turning to leave.

Shepard slammed her fist against the cell once more in frustration, feeling all too powerless.

…

"That ship is starting to really piss me off!" Joker snapped, seeing the data scroll across his screen, telling him the ship they were tracking was heading for an asteroid belt to slow the Normandy down.

"If only we had someone in there to spy on them or something…" Jane muttered, sighing. She was finding herself growing more and more restless, knowing both Shepard and Raegas were trapped on that ship with no one to look out for them until the Normandy could catch up.

"It's not like the Alliance trains friggin' ninjas, Jane." Joker retorted, rolling his eyes at her comment.

"I'm just saying it would be better to have a non-captured friendly aboard that ship- to help Shepard and Raegas out or something! You don't have to be a Debby downer about everything you know!" Jane shot back, smacking the pilot in the arm.

"Hey!" he said, offended.

Little did they know, that was exactly who was on the enemy ship. Feet stepped silently through the hallways, eyes watching from the shadows, waiting for the moment to act. It was only a matter of time.

**A/N: Ooh, looks like we've got a bit of a twist again! I hope this'll end soon, or I won't be able to take it anymore!**

**Anyway, review or PM me to let me know you still love me! ;)**


	28. Make It Yours

**Disclaimer: You all know the drill; I only own what or who I create myself, so… **

**BAMS: It's alright, BAMS; I was wondering where you were and all though. ;) Anyway, I'm glad you're back and all. The whole thing with thinking it was Cerberus or the Shadow Broker made sense, too, and everyone was guessing either one. With that, I made a whole new organization I heard of from DCotG.**

**Kachie Takahashi: I'm sorry Kachie, I don't mean to torture you…! ;) And yeah, I also hope Raegas and Shepard will be alright, given all that's been happening. Even so, I can't be sure just what really happened in the time before that asshole cam to talk to Shepard, so we can't say whether she's totally broken or not. I hope it's just a front or he's trying to trick Shepard or something…**

**Liege Lord: Nice thought there, Lordy, but I can't be sure just who it is yet. Well, you can't anyway. ;)**

**Hopelessly Blue: Heh, yeah I hate that scientist too. And with the mysterious person aboard the enemy ship, let's hope they'll be able to escape alright. Even through that though, a lot of things could go wrong… Putting that aside, I have to disagree with your detecting abilities; I think you're quite good! ;) Anyway, how could I possibly say no to your adorable pleading eyes? I'll sit next to you anytime, HB! ;)**

**Razor T McCutchn: Aw, thanks man! I'll do my best to not disappoint you, 'kay? Author's honor. ;)**

**A/N: Alright everyone, I'm sorry for taking so long on this update but my hand got stabbed by a steak knife and it took a **_**while**_** to convince my older brother to let me anywhere near a computer. Even so, I must continue! **

**For my fans and friends! *Battle cries through the pain and charges into writing* **

That bastard had forgotten to turn off the security feed of Shepard's cell into my room and I heard everything. It was true that he's done a lot of shit to me, but I'd been through worse in my life. Besides, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't able to work through the pain to figure out a way of escape. Still, it pissed me off beyond reason that he would go so far to bother Shepard enough to keep her from thinking clearly. It confused me even more to see her get so worked up over me. I hadn't realized she'd really liked me that much…

Great. Now I was _feeling_ something over it. My chest still hurt from that pressure but now, my heart was being a jackass and pounding at me in seeing Shepard's condition. I took as much of a breath as I could and looked around, seeing the room was bare save for the chair/table thing I was strapped to and the small accompanying table of 'tools' beside of me. The security video was hanging from the ceiling in the corner of the room by the door across from me.

"Come on; find a way out of here…" I whispered to myself, hoping for a miracle. None came. Weren't there supposed to be some well-placed heroes to come and rescue me and Shepard from confinement sometime? No?

_Fine then, I'll just be the hero this time._ I thought, finding the notion ironic, seeing as how I considered myself a monster of a sort. Speaking of, why _did _Shepard like me so much? It wasn't like I was any better than a lot of people I'd met before. I didn't think I was all that great in the first place.

I shook my head to clear it of the distraction and gave up looking for some answer to my problems. I'd just have to think over the possible options and eliminate any that wouldn't work. I could wait for someone to rescue me, like Shepard. No, that would take too long. I could wait for the Normandy to catch up and blast the shit out of the enemy or some such. No, by then the enemy could just take me and Shepard to some escape ship or pods. I could…

"_Use your abilities! Master them as your own strength!" _Karamu's voice filtered into my mind, causing me to furrow my brows and blink a few times in confusion. Abilities?

Wait a- No! I wasn't going to force myself into trying to control the corruption just to escape! It was ridiculous to even think of it at all! I'd get myself and Shepard out of this mess with my own strength.

"_Strength is power of being, mind and will! What have you to show__?" _I clenched my teeth at the memory and closed my eyes in frustration. Sometimes I wish I didn't remember Karamu.

But…

I recalled a time Karamu sat me down after training and told me of a story…

"_Years before we met, I was a chieftain of the Brogul clan Degrok. I led my people in becoming the most powerful clan of Trgue." He began, looking into the sky._

"_But what happened?" I asked, confused. He looked back to me for a small moment as if thinking deeply; a rare occurrence in Karamu._

"_News came from afar. It told of a monster- a giant Spawn creature- that had destroyed two clans. I knew my clan would be next after tracking the beast's movements across the Dark Plains." He said._

"_You went after it?" I asked. He nodded._

"_I found it after a week of following its tracks over miles of rugged ground. We faced each other in combat. But I failed. The beast destroyed my clan as I'd known it would and I was left with nothing."_

"_What? No way, you're invincible! You couldn't have lost!" I argued, to which he shook his head._

"_I swore to avenge my brothers and sisters with the blood of the very beast who took them from me. The corrupted beast's blood flowed freely through my veins and changed me, made me even stronger- at a price." He paused, seeing my utter confusion._

"_You were corrupted too?" I asked quietly, knowing how painful it was. Karamu nodded once more._

"_Instead of allowing it to control me, I used it to track the beast, to sense it. I found it several moons later and I faced it with its own darkness and slayed it with my own strength." He said, once again managing to confuse me._

"_But if you used the Corruption, how…" I trailed off at his deep look. He cut his own wrist with his claw and showed it to me._

"_What is this, small one?" he asked. I furrowed my brows and frowned._

"_Your blood." I answered. He nodded._

"_My own. Not the beast's. Not the Corruption. I used that power and made it my own. I changed it into something greater, something I could call as mine." He explained, before taking my arm and cutting my own wrist. I flinched at the stinging of the pain before looking at the liquid dripping from my forearm. _

"My blood…" I whispered, coming back from the memory. Was he trying to tell me to transform the very thing that killed so many into something… better? Something different even?

Could I change the Gavaek'Jaggx from a curse into something my own?

...

Shepard paced back and forth in her cell, trying to think of some way to get out of her cell. It was completely bare and totally air tight. Even the floor was clean of dust. The stress of worrying over Raegas was starting to get to Shepard more than should be possible, and it was screwing with her train of thought. She just couldn't think clearly with all that was going on, especially with that damn scientist prowling around, torturing the one person Shepard cared for most.

"I need to think straight before I can do anything!" Shepard scolded herself, running a shaky hand through her hair. It would turn gray before she'd ever get to stop worrying over Raegas, and even then, she was sure it's be longer to get the woman to stop being so negative.

But maybe… just maybe, Raegas could escape on her own…

"I need to get out of here before I go insane!" Shepard hissed, scratching her head forcefully. She had to think of something before any more harm came to the Vertoakan.

She could trick one of the guards maybe. No, they were practically robots; there was no appealing to them. The Normandy would be too far out to do much at the moment, and with talk of hitting a station behind a planet's atmosphere, it was possible they'd be slowed down and escape from Normandy.

Shepard went to her cell's front and stared at the door, trying to think of some way to at least get out of the cell.

…

I took another breath, hoping to the gods I was strong enough to control the darkest power my people had ever known. A twinge of sadness seeped through my being as I remembered them and all of the times I spent with them, only for it all to come to an end. Even so, I met new people and created new memories, both good and bad.

Then, I remembered Shepard. She stuck out more than anyone else, in my mind and in my heart. My siblings were always important to me, and I'd do anything for them, but Shepard… she was different. I wasn't sure why, but I cared about her. More than I was supposed to and more than I ever should have.

Maybe… just maybe… I could do this for her.

**A/N: Ooh, a non-depressing end to a cliffhanger; I must say, that's nice to write every now and then you know? I don't like being a downer all the time, regardless of what you may think. **

**Anyway, review or PM me, whatever you believe is better for your lazy ass' health.**


	29. A Vertoakan's Primal Fate

**Disclaimer: I own only whatever I create, so yeah. Nothing funny today. Nothing at all. … Why are you still reading this?**

**Liege Lord: Your obsession is at least entertaining, Lordy, I'm glad you approve. And with the Corruption changing thing, I hope Raegas will be able to control herself if she succeeds in even forcing the corruption out on its own in the first place, you know?**

**BAMS: Ah, BAMS, you know me well. Why wouldn't there be a battle next? It'll be exciting! ;)**

**Kachie Takahashi: Yeah, scientists can be real assholes when they want to trick someone- especially this nameless one we have that's screwing up Shepard and Raegas. And what's this about you not thinking of some idea? Ooh, I'm getting better at twisting you guys up! XP**

**Hopelessly Blue: yes, anticipation was what I was going for. I guess. … Okay, honestly, I wasn't totally going for something specific, but I got something across. In the end, we can all only hope Raegas will be able to control herself enough to not kill Shepard or something like that, you know? And with the hand thing, I'm glad to know you care, but I'll be alright; I'm tough, just like Raegas you know. ;) Thanks though HB, you make my day.**

**Razor T McCutchn: Congrats, you're my one-hundredth reviewer person! Yea! Anyway, thanks for the offer of using you character and such. Glad you liked. :)**

**A/N: Okay, let's get through this before my hand gives out. Onward, to height and glory! **

But did that mean I liked her? I couldn't be sure at the moment, and it really wasn't the time to think of such things. Stowing that question away somewhere in my mind, I decided I'd have to release and control a little bit of the Corruption if only to save Shepard. Releasing it shouldn't be a problem, but controlling it was an entirely different story. I'd barely ever been able to shut it down after I'd lost control and went into a Bloodrage- and that was with Shepard's help.

But I had to do this; and the only way I could succeed was by using a finite amount of the stuff in a constant flow- like a leaking pipe or some such. With my mind made up, I took a breath and concentrated, unconsciously flexing as if to brace myself.

Slowly, I began to release the blocks in my mind and body, allowing small leaks of Corruption to seep through. It burned a little and with my weakened body, I was worried it would be harder to control. Still, I remembered Karamu's scolding me before and fortified my mind against the influence of the Corruption as much as I could at the moment.

"What's going on here? What are you doing?" I looked over to Dick in the doorway, his eyes widened, watching as I increased the flow steadily, causing my eyes to change. I felt my nails sharpen and my teeth elongate- but I was still me; barely.

"Oh, nothing." I drawled, my voice faintly duo-toned. "I'm just escaping is all." I finished, keeping the flow steady and small.

"Stop! You can't do this!" he tried, watching as I broke free from the straps around my wrists. Next, I snapped the ones around my ankles to give myself some leverage. Lastly, I gripped the straps on my torso and pushed against the table, snapping them in half, releasing me completely.

The next thing Dick knew, I was in his face, grinning maliciously with a quirked brow. He stuttered and began shaking a little in the knees, seeing me take a deep breath of his fear-laced scent. It was disgusting in such a way that I was satisfied in knowing I'd kill him slowly.

"Torture and a captured friend used for leverage equals what?" I inquired, gripping his collar and lifting him a foot off of the ground. The Corruption made me feel so strong, and I was only using a small amount…

"L-let me go!" he grunted. I sighed before flinging him into a nearby wall of glass, smashing it to pieces and sending him to the ground in a heap.

"Wrong." I chided, picking him up off the ground again, sensing his fear as he struggled against my grip futilely. I brought him close and muttered into his ear, "You get a _very_ pissed off Raegas." Then I smiled, smelling his fear slowly climbing- along with his falling attitude.

I suddenly flinched, smelling blood from somewhere in the ship; not Dick's though, it was too faint. I glanced around and spotted a door down the way, where the smell was coming from.

It smelled so… familiar.

I looked back to Dick then and saw him still struggling against me. It was annoying beyond belief that he refused to accept my power over him at the moment and that made it even harder to control the strong urges the Corruption was feeding into me. I just wanted to beat him into a pile of bloodied flesh.

Thinking that, I went to cock my arm backwards, ready to punch him at least hard enough to snap his neck. When I was about to release the punch onto his face though, a voice faded into my foggy mind.

"_Fortify your will, guard you mind, elevate your being and turn your curse into a gift- your own strength!"_ Karamu always had a way with words, that was for sure.

Taking a forced breath and inhaling all of the scents I could pick up, I dropped Dick to the ground in a crumpled heap. He cried out in pain as he hit the shards of glass on the floor and I ignored him. I thought on whom that blood scent belonged to when it hit me;

"Shepard." I muttered, realizing she could be in trouble.

Without a second thought, I started running after the smell of blood, hoping she'd be okay when I got there.

…

"It's never as easy as you'd think it should be." I sighed, looking at all of the guards in the ship. They were all clustered in front of the engine room's core, no doubt onto my plan of blowing this ship to hell. Their stubbornness was fun, but the robotic-like way they moved and accessed the situation was boring in the least.

_I ought to teach them a lesson, then._ I thought, smirking.

"You wanna go?" I called gamely, challenging them. They stood still as stone with their weapons trained on me, agitating my natural primal instincts; this was going to be harder to control than I thought- all of these dark thoughts were messing with me enough already, now I had to worry over my instincts.  
>"Let's go!" I yelled, launching towards them.<p>

They immediately pulled their triggers and shot at me, obviously not the joking types. I thanked the Corruption's enhancing of my speed as I shot towards the group like a bullet, clawing my hands to prime them. It was almost funny to see them come just short of hitting me with their own bullets as I zigzagged in my path, too.

Seconds later, I reached them and tackled into the middle of the mob, too excited to even think about caution. The two men's faces that got caught in my hands met swift ends when I squeezed their heads like grapes, splattering brains everywhere. I dropped their bodies and went to the ground as well, throwing a sweep kick all around to trip up those surrounding me. I jumped back up as they fell and kicked the faces of three guys with a roundhouse kick, snapping their necks and smashing their faces in.

Someone grabbed me from behind but I leaned back a little and promptly bent down as I pushed my hips out to shoot the guy over me, slamming him to the ground. Another shot me in the shoulder from an angle and grazed the flesh deeply, causing me to falter. I growled at the pain and remembered the knife still stuck in my side when it shocked me, apparently activated by my movement. It stunned me for a moment, giving a guard enough time to land a solid metal-encased punch onto my face. I grunted and stumbled back, feeling m anger flare at the action.

In response, I glared at the guard, seeing his visor was broken, like the one from before, and spit the blood out from my mouth. This asshole gave me those sedatives when he helped kidnap me.

"Oh, you're as good as dead, human." I muttered, smiling darkly, feeling my Vertoakan side take over most of the rest of my conscious.

I shot forward and gripped his forearms. I pulled him toward me and down, raising my knee to meet his stomach, making a strange sound as I felt his organs bust on the inside. Next, I squeezed his arms until their muscles practically popped and the bones cracked, making another loud noise. I then gripped the guard's neck and held him up, smiling at the pain I saw in his eyes; he also helped in taking Shepard. And that I would not forgive.

I jerked my hand to the side and thrust down, sending his skull crashing to the metal floor, killing him almost instantly.

"_What's it like to be a Vertoakan?" a voice asked, curiosity prominent in their tone. I sighed and turned to face them, lacing my fingers together._

"_In what way do you mean?" I asked, quirking a brow._

"_Like, are you stronger or always smelling everything, or have quirks unique to the Vertoak… that stuff."_

"_We are naturally stronger, faster and more burdened than the species living here now. We are under constant threat of succumbing to the Bloodrage and losing ourselves altogether and with our violent tendencies dealing with battle, we usually fade as we grow older." I answered, not wanting to say too much with the personal subject._

"_Fade?"_

"_Our individual personalities; whatever things that make us who we are, eventually disappear. That's why we have Soulmates and that's why we find such value in relationships of any kind- friendships, rivalries, families… love." I was quiet for a moment, feeling their eyes on me, the intensity causing me to shift.  
>"Of course, it's the Soulmate that preserves who we are and, essentially, saves us from that fate. It works vice versa as well, though with other species it's a little different, obviously. Even so, as advanced as we are, the primal urges and such remain a firm way of Vertoakan life." I added, frowning.<em>

"_What's wrong?"_

"_Fael vensca'al kihgrat vul karao bi vragat tul. Fael'tre vensca'al gudei jas bi illik tul." I said quietly, looking to the ground. After a moment, I looked to my companion in the room. "A faded soul is none but a hollow shell. A Soulmate is none but the gift of life." I translated, smiling at the nostalgic feeling of those words._

I felt myself dropping back into my body and blinked several times, knowing my mind was still slightly fogged by the Corruption. I shook my head a little and looked around to see I was still in the engine room, standing over dead bodies that littered the floor in small piles. I had done this… Even though they may have been bad guys killing them so brutally wasn't like me. Maybe this lack of mercy was a side-effect of using the Corruption in its natural form. If so, I was going to have to figure out some way to change it before I really used it for anything more than emergencies.

"I need to blow this core and find Shepard before it's too late…" I whispered absently, moving toward the control console nearby.

…

"Come… on… you… stupid… wall!" Shepard yelled, smashing against the front of her cell again and again, refusing to give up in the slightest. Her hands were already bloody messes and both of her shoulders were bruised all to hell, so now she was kicking the thing as hard as she could.

Suddenly, an explosion sounded on the other side of the room's door, blowing it open. Shepard paused and watched as a figure emerged from the smoke-

"Raegas…!" she uttered, shocked. How did she escape? and why was she in a Bloodrage? The commander wondered, still happy to see her friend was alright.

"Hey Shepard, what are you doing here?" the Vertoakan smirked, sauntering over to the cell. "First you run off after screaming at me, and then you come to rescue my sorry ass; what's up with that?" she said, trying to use humor to defuse the tension in the air.

"Raegas, I-" she was cut off with another explosion that rocked the ship, destabilizing her for a moment. Shepard winced at the pain in her ankle and rolled her shoulders, finally becoming fully aware of the pain in her body now that she knew Raegas was alright.

"Look what I found!" Raegas called, holding up a pass card to Shepard's cell, crouched over a dead guard's body. The Commander breathed a small sigh of relief and held in her excitement as much as she could, knowing she was finally going to get out of the creepy cell and escape.

Raegas then came over and swiped it through the scanner, opening Shepard's cell with a smile.

…

Before I could even move, Shepard tackled me with a hug, holding tightly. I stood there, confused and too surprised to do anything more. Honestly, it was pretty comfortable and I was shocked at the draw I felt toward the Commander. Why hadn't I noticed it before? Had I really been that blind from the beginning?

A few moments later, Shepard pulled back hurriedly as if just realizing she was hugging me. I caught her scent under the grime and stress, finding it… easy to take in. The smell of her blood was even tantalizing in its warmth…

I came back to myself forcibly then, realizing I'd almost slipped into the Corruption's influence once more to drink Shepard's blood like some beast. The idea repulsed my very nature- the Vertoak were a people of unyielding loyalty and protection; there was no way we'd ever want to do such a thing to a loved one.

…Did that mean I really cared for Shepard? In _that _kind of way?

I couldn't be sure…

Shaking my head to get out of it, I took Shepard's hands and raised them so I could see. Blood was smeared all over her knuckles as it seeped through various tears, causing me to clench my teeth. She was that desperate to save me?

The thought alone scared the shit out of me, but… it also made me feel kind of warm and all… tingly inside. Was that normal, or…? Maybe I was just over thinking things.

"I'm alright." Shepard said, pulling her hands away, slipping them from my own. Odd; I felt a loss when she did that. "Are you okay?" she asked, looking me over. I hid the blade stuck in my side and the wound in my shoulder by redirecting her attention to the gun I was holding and gave it to her. Good thing I'd pick pocketed the dead guard.

"I'm fine, considering I'm injured, exhausted and struggling to control an infinite power of darkness." I half-joked, offering a lopsided smile. Shepard went to fuss over me again, but I waved her down before she saw anything; we couldn't afford distractions at the moment, and that included all of my physical problems.  
>"Kidding, Shepard. But really, it's a long story and we need to get out of here. Come on." I said, heading for the door leading to the escape pods with Shepard in tow.<p>

…

"The escape pods are just ahead!" I said, finding myself a little out of breath. Using the Corruption was a lot harder than I'd originally anticipated, but with the wounds and that damned knife in my side (that I couldn't get out) it was more than taxing.

Shepard and I ran through the doors at the end of the hall and saw the escape pods still in service. I scanned the room and saw through the shadows and flickering, failing lights even as they dimmed. Distant explosions from the core's meltdown vibrated the ship and shifted the ground under our feet. In the middle of it all, I saw the one person I hated the most at the moment. I saw the one person I wanted to beat to death with their own arms.

In the middle of it all, I saw that dick scientist, smiling in that repulsive way of his.

**A/N: Again, I'm very sorry for my recent slowness; this hand is killing me. Honestly, I wasn't supposed to be typing or writing at all, but I was worried about you guys not getting an update, so… Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter- I even made it longer in apology for my absence; please forgive me? ;-;**

**On another note, feel free to review and tell me how much you love me to make me feel better, okay? ;)**


	30. Escape's Consequence

**Disclaimer: I only own my OCs and stuff I make myself. You know- like cookies.**

**BAMS: Nice Hulk comment, BAMS. I'm glad you liked. ^.-**

**Kachie Takahashi: Ah, my hand is fine, I just accidentally got in a fight with a steak-knife-wielding-drunken-asshole; long story. Anyway, I'm glad you liked my gruesome chapter; I tried to show just how violent the Vertoak can be, especially when angered, you know? And with the grounding for bed rest thing? Shepard needs herself some healing time as well, you know? Thanks though Kachie, it means a lot. ;)**

**Liege Lord: Took you long enough, my friend; I was worried you'd never get back to me on this chapter. Yet, complaining aside, I'm happy you approve. Interesting scenario with the escape pod thing too, I didn't think of it myself. On another note, I am happy to report that my hand has gotten some movement back, along with more pain- still that means I can grin and bear it as I grind out another chapter for my loyal readers. ;)**

**Hopelessly Blue: … ;-; …**

**A/N: I'm sorry for being so slow lately you guys and I won't complain, so let's just get through this so we can all be happier. ^.^**

I looked to Dick with a glare, seeing his shotgun pointed towards Shepard and me. The gleam in his eyes told me he was ready to shoot if he thought he had to- especially considering the fact that he could be insane.

"Take one step and I'll end up studying a corpse instead." Dick announced, sneering. I swallowed, feeling a pressure in my esophagus and heat rising in my torso.

"Try me." Shepard almost growled, looking at him with condemnation. No wonder she was such a good person; she hated bad guys and assholes that much.

Dick pointed his weapon at Shepard then, smirking.

"Only thing is, Commander, I don't need you." he responded, already looking triumphant. How grating his attitude was.

I knew he'd do something like that, so I slipped in between him and Shepard. There was no way I was going to allow Shepard to get any more hurt than she already was- besides, I was the one who healed fast. My shoulder was already even mostly functional. Even though the Corruption impeded my healing a little, I was fairly sure I could survive a shot or two from that gun. Hopefully, anyway.

"Doesn't matter if you need her or not; I won't allow you to hurt her." I stated, feeling more than a little awkward with her stare on the back of my head and the smell of her and Dick reeking of so many emotions that my nose twitched. All of everything was weighing down on me and I couldn't be sure of myself not doing something horrible to someone; with that in mind, I hatched a bit of a plan to get Shepard out of there.  
>"Let her go safely… and I'll cooperate with your <em>tests<em>." I bit, feeling Shepard grip my forearm. She was surprised at the very least, and I was certain to say it was an understatement.

"Just what did you have in mind?" Dick asked, narrowing his eyes on me. I took a bit of a shaky breath, trying to control myself from going into a bit of a killing frenzy like before.

"I'm sure you can spare an escape pod for the Commander." I retorted, feeling my face twist in slight disgust- I couldn't help it; this guy's presence was bitter and sharp.

"Funny; you told me you didn't much care for her safety before." Dick said, causing me to force a chuckle in disdain. I crossed my arms, feeling a little stiff, and smirked.

"You'd be surprised how easy it is to lie to assholes like you. Besides, even if I didn't like her I wouldn't let you kill her when this is between you and me." I replied, seeing him actually try to look indignant.

"She goes free… and you agree to all of my tests?" he inquired cautiously, the grip on his shotgun faltering only slightly. I bowed my head in confirmation and he smiled.

Dick whistled then and a guard came in from another door, not even sparing Shepard and me a glance. Dick whispered something in his ear, gesturing to the two of us. A few moments later, the guard marched over and I moved aside to uncover Shepard. He grabbed Shepard's upper arm and practically dragged her kicking and screaming towards one of the escape pods. Dick came over to me then and set a hand on my shoulder, smiling proudly as if I'd just won him a reward. My stomach almost couldn't handle it.

"Now let's get you to a room before I change my mind." He muttered darkly, still smiling in that way that made me want to rip him to shreds. I had to wait until Shepard got away though, and with the ship shutting down and about to explode, I had little choice in the matter.

Dick went to push me through the door Shepard and I came through before, but I heard a thump and someone fall all of a sudden, startling the both of us. We turned around quickly to see Shepard knock the guard out and take his sidearm in one swift movement. Dick raised his shotgun as Shepard raised her newly acquired pistol-

And shot him in the shoulder. Just as Dick was hit, he pulled the trigger on the shotgun and fell into me, pushing me to the ground roughly. I growled at the asshole's weight pushing onto the knife in my side and kicked him away from me, making him whimper in pain. I stiffly sat up and caught Shepard hit the ground just then. My eyes widened and I felt my face pale, knowing she'd caught the shot from the freshly-spilled smell of her blood.

"Shepard!" I rasped, struggling to my feet and rushing over to her as fast as I could.

I fell to my knees beside of her and pushed her onto her back. She was already going into shock and blood poured out of her left-side abdomen almost torrentially. I clenched my teeth and covered the wound with shaking hands, feeling the pressure in my body increase, along with the heat. It ignited almost instantly and I felt in jumping up my throat on its own. I kept from letting it out of my mouth though, ignoring the watering in my eyes and the adrenaline now coursing through me as much as the Corruption was.

I looked to Shepard and knew she had little time if I wanted to save her. I could heal her with my own energy but with the state I was in at the moment there was no telling if and how the Corruption would affect her. But if I did nothing, then-

BAM!

My gaze snapped over to Dick and I saw him struggling to rise with the shotgun in one hand. Luckily, he missed, but he wasn't looking at me or Shepard; he was looking behind us. I glanced back just in time to see a grayish-black blur fly past me from the shadows. It rocketed towards Dick and slammed into him hard, smashing him back into the floor.

I finally made it out and saw who it was when it snarled, closing it's sharp teeth around Dick's neck, almost crushing his trachea entirely.

"Ciria!" I called, watching as the two of them struggled against each other, Dick trying to pry her off of him and her refusing to let go in the slightest. I couldn't move and let go of Shepard's side, lest she bleed out, even if to try and help my Ulaeviel companion.

I heard Dick's gurgling on his own blood as Ciria growled against his neck, the fire in her eyes halting even to me. the fire in my own body wanted to come up an melt Dick into nothing more than a pile of charred flesh, but my better judgment and Ciria's and Shepard's safety got in the way.

With the last repulsive gurgling of Dick's as he died and my own calling for her, Ciria rushed over to Shepard and me looking worried. She licked at my hands covering Shepard's wound, telling me to heal her. I wanted to save Shepard, but if I killed her with the Corruption on accident, then she'd die an even worse death- not to mention, it would be on my hands.

But if I didn't…

Another explosion from the ship's failing core shook me out of it and I looked upon Shepard's pale face. Wordlessly, I slipped my arms around her and pulled her up as I stood, holding her tightly. She was half out of consciousness but still, she gazed up at me with an almost forgiving expression. That was what got me.

I rushed into an escape pod and made sure Ciria was in as well before launching it from the ship. With no other recourse, I knew what I had to do and how to do it. I released the flow of Corruption through me and locked it back up as best I could as I sat on the ground so I could release Shepard's legs to free up one of my hands. She rested her face in the crook of my neck, breathing shallowly, and let herself go limp in my embrace; she was losing it.

"Not this time, Shepard. This time, I'm going to save you." I muttered, remembering how she'd saved my own life more than once before.

I pressed a still-trembling hand to her bleeding wound and took a shaky breath, closing my eyes. I consciously slowed my pounding heart and calmed, finding the warmth in my chest. Ignoring the possible consequences and ignoring the situation itself, I took hold of my very soul and pushed it into Shepard. I regulated the strength of it and moved through her torso, stopping the bleeding as best as I could while I healed her flesh itself, closing the wound with all of the energy I had.

She slowly improved and the bleeding halted, allowing me more leverage. I used my own body warmth as I mentally connected with her, raising her body's temperature slowly, knowing the human system was fragile, especially when weakened. As I did so though, I felt her heartbeat, glad that it was still alright for the most part and she wasn't as weak as one would think; Shepard was strong and if anyone could survive, it was her.

With healing Shepard, there was a consequence I knew would come back to bite me in the ass: when a Vertoakan heals someone with their own energy, they themselves are weakened in kind. Meaning, the more I healed Shepard, the more I myself was damaged and weakened. Still, I had little choice, and if anyone, it was Shepard that had to live.

Knowing she would need me to keep her from dying until the Normandy or someone found us, I kept up the connection between us and took her own being into myself to keep it safe from whatever backfire the Corruption had in mind for either of us. If anything, it would try to target her soul to lay some sort of dark seed there; by protecting her soul, I created a connection between us and kept it from being harmed by the Corruption. Of course, by me connecting with her the way that I was meant I was bound- even if just a little- to her for as long as I would live. I couldn't say it was good at all, but with the situation, this was the best thing I could've done to keep her alive and safe from the Gavaek'Jaggx.

I could only hope to survive myself until we were found and Shepard got medical attention. Otherwise, we may both die.

**A/N: Yea, a relatively quick update and everything! Not to mention how exciting it was! I hope our two favorite people will make it though, and with everything going on, I'm not so sure what'll happen until the Normandy gets there to save them.**

**Review or PM me to let me know how much you want more! ;)**


	31. A Startling Revelation

**Disclaimer: you already know just what I'm going to say, so why don't you fill it out in your own mind, eh?**

**BAMS: How is it that you're always the first one to review? Don't get me wrong, it's kind of amusing. ;)**

**Hopelessly Blue: I'm not sure if I can forgive you seeing as how my heart was torn in two when you and your 'connection' neglected my needs, but I'm admittedly less sure of my ability to hold a grudge against your cuteness. In this case, I suppose there's no way I can't forgive you and I really am glad you at least tried. Still… ;-; …  
>Anyway, thanks for leaving those reviews and comments for me, it made me feel a lot better; especially since it's your fault I get more and more agitated when you don't review- told to me by my entire family and some close friends. -.- Putting that creepy comment aside, I will try to love you again and all that stuff, so yeah. … Okay, maybe I never stopped loving you, but that's not the point.<strong>

**Liege Lord: 'Busy', huh? Whatever you say, friend. Putting that aside, I see how you may be disappointed over the lack of 'frisky-ness' within that pod, but I can promise you something will in fact happen very soon. ;)**

**OSR Fanatic: Such enthusiasm has blinded me! I am truly happy to hear you like the story so far, and I shall do my best to keep it that way. ;)**

**Kachie Takahashi: I'm sorry these two keep getting hurt, but that's the reality of Shepard's job. Mostly, anyway, I may have embellished a little, but every author has their kryptonite. Anyway, it's nice to hear you care for my possibly traumatic experience and such, and I am satisfied to report: I didn't hurt him too much, only enough to make sure he got the hint to leave my friend alone. Of course, she's so clumsy there's little chance of me saving her from every danger there is, though I will try. (I apologize if I sound self-absorbed; it makes me feel guilty if I do that) ^.-**

**A/N: I must thank everyone who favorite me or my stories, it means a lot. You got me right here. ;) Now, on to the update!**

"Presley, I think I found them!" Joker called, staring down at his console. Jane looked over his shoulder as well before getting all panicky and excited.

"Tap the comm in that escape pod; we need to know they're alright!" Presley said, just as Jane left for the elevator, obviously too impatient to wait or make a witty remark.

"Hey, can anyone hear me? Raegas? Shepard?" Joker tried.

"Keep trying, Joker." Presley said, managing to sound a little worried.

"Hey c'mon you guys don't leave me hanging." Joker tried once more, moving the ship around to get to the pod inside the bay.

"_Joker…"_ the pilot jumped at the sound of Raegas' weakened voice even as he got excited over knowing she was still alive.

"Raegas! Is Shepard with you, are you two alright?" Presley called, standing over Joker's chair and leaning forward.

"_Get Chakwas ready… Shepard's hurt."_ She rasped, sounding injured herself.

Joker went as fast as humanly possible- and then some.

…

"The door won't open… fuck." I murmured, hearing the commotion outside. If it wouldn't open from the outside, then maybe I could open it from the inside. Let's hope the safety in the pod was working so the door would be automatic when it sensed me close enough to it or Shepard, Ciria and I would be stuck too long in there.

With that in mind, I sat forward and slipped my other arm under Shepard's legs. She was unconscious but barely stable at the moment. Forcing myself to stand, I tried to ignore the swimming of my head and the nausea in my stomach. Dragging my feet along the floor, I made my way to the door of the escape pod. I fell against it due to my own weakness and from keeping Shepard alive at that point. Not to mention I was hungry as hell.

I heard a click then, signaling the safety feature of the pod's door. I pushed away from the door and stood on my own just before the lock released and the door slid open.

Just outside, I saw Chakwas and the medical team, along with the entire crew, standing and watching. I stepped out of the pod and went straight for the elevator with Chakwas and her team in tow.

…

Once to the med-bay, I set Shepard down on a bed gently, utterly exhausted. Once I wasn't carrying her weight, I stumbled back and fell into a crewman who caught me. He helped me stand straight then, knowing I wasn't about to leave Shepard alone, given I glared at him when he tried to move toward the door. Besides, I could still help.

Hesitantly, I slipped my hand into Shepard's and squeezed lightly. Ignoring the commotion around me, I helped to heal Shepard more to lessen the chances of her going out. The sudden drain on whatever energy was left in me though, weakened me even more. At that point, I was ready and waiting to pass out.

Still, I needed to see Shepard would be alright before I did anything else.

…

"She's stable, albeit a little weak; I'd give her two days or so to wake up on her own." Chakwas stated, looking me over. Ciria then jumped onto Shepard's bed and licked her cheek as if to help her get better, making me faintly smirk. She was still so simple in her need to help others.  
>"Now let's get that knife out of you before you pass out on me." she stated, pointing to the bed by Shepard's. Crewman Cole, the one I was leaning on, helped me over. Once actually on the bed, Chakwas scanned me and looked over the damage before coming back over to me.<p>

"No wonder you couldn't get it out; the shocking mechanism in the knife consists of several small spikes imbedded in your skin, located in the crook between handle and blade. In order to get it out of you, I'd need to deactivate it first." She said, sounding the frown on her face.

"Any chance you've done this before?" I asked quietly, trying to stay awake.

"Only a few. Blades like this are high-end black market material; in fact, it's made for a quick jab/shock combo to kill the opponent instantly. The lucky ones that do survive typically end up with a plethora of medical issues." She explained, surprising me. It was a good thing I was a Vertoakan, otherwise I probably would've died already. Not that it didn't hurt immensely though.  
>"I'll have to sedate you until I can get it out, so lie down and try to relax." She ordered, helping me down slowly so as not to aggravate the knife stuck in my ribs any more than it already was.<p>

"The sooner the better, Doc." I muttered, feeling her inject me with the sedative.

Soon, I was finally resting.

…

A day and a half later, I finally managed to get Chakwas to leave me alone over the whole knife wound thing. It was a good thing I was a fast healer, and even better that I was going to watch over Shepard until she herself got better, seeing as how Chakwas still wanted to watch me. I just couldn't shake the feeling that I could've done something different to keep Shepard from getting hurt. The fact that she did bothered me a lot more than I'd have thought not two weeks before.

Sitting by said Commander's bed, I took her hand once more and closed my eyes. Due to our new bond, I could sense her a lot better than anyone else of my kind could. In fact, I could find her anywhere I wanted to from now on, given she had a fair amount of my own Sol running through her, healing her and such. It wasn't like I had total access though: only promised Soulmates could use telepathy or things like that. My bond with Shepard was simply a sensing thing, similar to strong empathy.

Putting that disturbing issue aside, I had a feeling this bond wasn't one way; if Shepard ever caught wind of what I felt under the surface even when I masked it, then it was very possible she'd be much more attuned to my lies. Meaning I'd have to watch out for her asking me about certain topics- I'm sure I don't have to elaborate.

Of course, I doubted she never didn't know when I was lying about how I felt- about anything really. Only a few weeks before, when we were in the mess together, she had said something that made me freak a little…

"_You're hiding something aren't you?" Shepard asked, squinting at me like a dead frog. I regarded her over my soup, wondering if she'd noticed I was the one who left the dent in the hallway on deck three or if she recognized the scar on my eye for an old Spawn wound; the Vertoak didn't scar easily._

"_Paranoia may be normal for humans, Shepard, but do try to keep it to yourself." I deadpanned, before returning to my soup that tasted like old Pepto-Bismol mixed with cherry cough drops. _

_There was a small silence as the Commander scrutinized me and I simply ate my soup while looking over the notes I took on the armor suits I'd worked on to make sure I didn't miss anything. You could never be too cautious with these systems, especially with Tali's seeing as how her life was hypothetically in my hands given she so graciously wore my suit I made for her. _

"_No, I know you're hiding something; you do that thing whenever you're lying!" Shepard argued, pointing at my face. I frowned a little at her and took a breath through my nose before looking back up at her._

"_What thing?" I asked, a tad irritated that she picked out a mannerism. I hadn't thought I even had mannerisms._

"_You do that thing with your eyes, you know…" I raised a brow at her, giving her a look. "That thing with your- you know what? Nevermind! I can just tell, okay?" she blurted, blushing only faintly._

"_I'm fine." I muttered, returning to my notes._

"_Raegas! We both know your definition of 'fine' is either 'leave me alone' or 'I feel horrible'. Now, what's wrong?" she tried again, actually managing to get under my wall just a little bit._

"_You can think what you want Shepard, but I refuse to indulge your fantasies. Go pick on Garrus or tease Liara for no reason, I'm busy." I replied, consciously trying to get her to back away. The truth was, I hadn't gotten any sleep for the past three days because of some… certain dream… that I had of Shepard. If she were to find out about that then I would be sunk._

"_Liara's busy with her studying and Garrus is so delved in his 'calibrations' that he wouldn't notice me if I were naked!" Shepard whined, just as I took a sip of the soup, causing me to inhale sharply and begin coughing. I had to fist my hands and clench my teeth while I covered my mouth to keep from bleeding internally. The mental image of that little scene imbedded into my brain and I failed in extricating it as I shook from the force of the hacking._

_Once I got a hold of myself, I scrubbed my face with my hands to get the wetness of my leaky eyes out. My ribs actually ached a little from all of that and Shepard was only looking at me with a hardly contained smirk. She must've said that to get me back for sending Kareck to her before with the boner question. How petty, and yet, how smooth._

"_It's wonderful to know I'm number three on your list of 'who to bother', Shepard." I said, my voice all gravely from the coughing fit. Then again, she seemed self-satisfied about something else as well… Did she give me that image on purpose to see my reaction? How irritating; I didn't like to be a guinea pig for some self-empowerment joke. I didn't like to be a guinea pig, period._

"I guess I was just missing something all along…" I muttered, looking at Shepard's hand in mine. I had only just realized it after thinking over everything that had happened over the few months I'd spent with Shepard and the Normandy. With how she treated me, how she had believed in me even when I didn't myself.

I could only think of one reason she was able to awaken my from that Sleeper Pod in the first place. Even after that, she saved my life, took care of me and even gave me a kick in the pants to shake me from my pathetic brooding ire. She had been the only one to reach out to me when I needed someone the most and even just back on the ship, she had struggled so hard to help me, uncaring of her own safety.

Sure, that may have been the duties of said Commander, but she went about them differently around me. She had never made me do something I objected to and she had never tried to pull authority over me even when I was being a cold pain in the ass. She had even bought me those damned sausages as a 'friend gift', she called it.

Over the length of time I'd known her, as short as it was, she softened me up just a little. She got me thinking about my values and priorities, even. When I had been in a coma, Sphere had made it almost painfully clear to me and I hadn't heard her. I hadn't heard that she was telling me what I should've known all along. She was telling me-

"That I'm falling for Shepard."

**A/N: OMG! Raegas has **_**finally **_**had her realization moment! What will happen next, ladies and gents?**


	32. Wakeful Contemplation

**Disclaimer: Yeah, whatever, I don't own Mass Effect- only my characters or what I make myself are mine. Shut up.**

**Kachie Takahashi: Yes, I agree, Raegas' realization has been quite delayed- but for good reason! In any case, I'm happy to see you're happy, Kachie. It's exciting that this has happened after the length of time we've figured they would eventually 'realize' each other. And thank you for understanding, Kachie. ^.^**

**BAMS: I see. It's good to see you're so excited…**

**Hopelessly Blue: How could you ever think I would hurt you, HB? Blasphemy! I am as much a tough chick as I am a protective friend- I can even be a bit of a softie, but don't tell anyone I said that! Either way, I'm a Vertoakan when it comes to protectiveness of others, HB; I would take those flowers with a bit of a blush, even. Plus, your face is way too cute to bruise up. Not that I've seen you, but I'm pretty certain you're adorable. ;)  
>Putting my slightly mushy side aside, I'm elated to hear you like Shepard and Raegas as a complimentary couple. I wasn't sure I was trying to show Shepard in that way, but I believe it fits her quite well, and so her slyness will probably stay. You made me smile with your enthusiasm as well, HB! ^.-<strong>

**Liege Lord: There you have it, Lordy: the realization moment. I hope you approve and all, seeing as how I can't exactly change it now. Either way, I'm happy to see you were amused by the Garrus banter. ^.^**

**A/N: Alright, you guys, I have most of the feeling back in my hand, so I should be able to get updates out faster now. On to the exciting panic of my words!**

How had Sphere known? How could I have not even realized this new information when she practically slapped me in the face with it?

When I forced myself to think about it though, it made so much sense I felt like throwing up. This hit me harder than a bowling ball to the stomach. I couldn't help but panic on the inside thanks to this little revelation; and now what was I supposed to do? I couldn't even think beyond those few words, constantly looping in my mind!

Hurriedly, I stood and stumbled back, out of balance. I hit against the bed behind me and stopped moving, trying to breathe for the life of me. this was almost too much to take in all at once- what was worse was how I knew there was no way I'd be able to put up a barrier against Shepard. That bond would make sure Shepard felt something wrong with me at least.

"Raegas?" my gaze snapped over to see Chakwas looking at me concernedly.

I mentally shook myself as hard as I could and caught my breath to at least try and keep some dignity. Then again, what was the point for me to try when I was so obvious? At least she didn't know exactly what was wrong with me.

"I-it's nothing, Chakwas; just a side-effect thing." I said a little lamely, hoping she'd take it as some thing of Vertoak.

"If you say so… Tell me if something is wrong though." She said, to which I nodded. She went back to her desk then, leaving me to my panicked self. I knew there was nothing I could do about this, but this new information just about caused my heart to have a seizure from the shock. Oddly enough, I felt both dread and relief over finally realizing the one thing that had eluded and confused me since the beginning. Honestly, I couldn't be sure just when it started, but at the moment, I knew there was no going back were I to let my revelation be known.

But even through this, I found myself remembering my own loyalty to Shepard. Somewhere along the way, I came to trust Shepard as much as I ever had my own siblings- maybe even more. Due to this, I couldn't just leave her on her own, especially since I'd told myself I would watch over her until she got better.

With my mind made up, I slowly sat back down and took a small, shaky breath. This may be hard, but I had an obligation to Shepard no matter what my problems may be. Besides, she'd helped me when I needed her; it was only fair I do the same. Of course, I was still going to panic on the inside and let myself freak out when I had the chance some other time.

…

Shepard slowly awakened, feeling dull soreness in the spot where her gunshot wound had been. She had suspected it to hurt more, but for some reason, it only felt tender. The last thing she remembered was passing out in Raegas' arms- something she'd never believed would happen, no matter the circumstances. She could barely recall Raegas' presence in her dreams, almost as if she had been the warm blanket that took the pain away from her in the middle of a snowstorm. The strange part was how Shepard felt like her awareness was… expanded, higher somehow- like she could pick things up easier.

She slowly opened her eyes to see the bluish walls of the med-bay, vaguely understanding Raegas had saved her life somehow. How she did so, Shepard wasn't sure, but she was grateful. Her eyes slowly scanned the room and soon came to rest on a deeply brooding Raegas. She didn't even seem to notice Shepard was awake, let alone staring at her.

Shepard went to move her hand but felt something restricting it, embracing it almost. She looked down and saw Raegas' hand clasping her own, almost in a comforting way. Shepard looked back up to Raegas and smiled softly, feeling a bittersweet joy over the simple gesture. There was no way Raegas could ever feel the way Shepard did for her, but still, the Commander couldn't stop the rush of happiness over knowing Raegas didn't alienate her after the whole incident when Shepard yelled at her- and confessed.

In Shepard's opinion, even though Raegas had pretended it hadn't happened, their friendship would at least be unbearably awkward and shaky if not completely ruined. It had been her big mouth that got them into the situation in the first place, and she almost believed it couldn't get any worse. She knew she should have just stayed quiet and remained Raegas' friend because she knew they'd never be together. Just as most would say, it truly is better to have the one you love as a friend than not have them at all…

"Do you feel alright?" Shepard was snapped from her thoughts by a shifty-looking Raegas wearing an almost affectionate smirk on her face. The simple look proved to make a thrill run down Shepard's spine, waking her up entirely.

"Ah- yeah…" she muttered lamely, moving to sit up, only to be stopped by Raegas' hand on her chest.

"Just relax and stay still." The Vertoakan said, pinning Shepard to the spot with her deeply vibrant violet eyes. Shepard slowly nodded and relaxed back into the bed, confused at the woman's behavior.

She looked away from Shepard then and released her, moving her free hand to Shepard's blanket. Without a word, she pulled the blanket down to Shepard's hips, and then promptly pulled the startled Commander's shirt up to her upper abdomen. Even as Shepard jumped at the suddenness, she realized how intensely Raegas was staring at her side. She must've been scrutinizing the shotgun wound Shepard had gotten before…

"W-what's the diagnosis, Doc?" Shepard tried humor, but failed when she stuttered over her words a bit; she was shocked even at herself for being so shy and yet so eager under Raegas' intense gaze.

Still, Raegas didn't seem affected by Shepard's tone, and even roved her fingers lightly over the healing wound, tickling the Commander's skin slightly and giving her goosebumps. Shepard kept herself from wriggling under the light touch, shocked at her own awareness of the Vertoakan's movements and expressions. She could almost _see _the gray aura melting off of Raegas, signaling contemplation and confliction. How strange…

"It's going to hurt for a few days but you should be fine by the end of leave." Raegas answered, confusing Shepard.

"But I was shot by a shotgun, how can I be-" she was cut off when Dr. Chakwas came over, looking scrutinizing as usual. She whispered something in Raegas' ear, causing the woman's emotion to instantly change to a reluctance of some sort. But how did Shepard even know that? She couldn't exactly see Raegas' emotions, but she could almost… sense them somehow.

She was brought from her thoughts once more when the Vertoakan stood and gently slipped her hand from Shepard's before leaving altogether. Honestly, Shepard didn't want Raegas to leave, but a part of her was relieved at not having to resist the sheer intensity of Raegas' presence. It seemed even stronger now that Shepard was newly aware of the subtleties of her friend's expressions.

"Let me explain just what happened after we found you, Shepard…" Chakwas started, sighing as she crossed her arms.

…

"So Raegas healed me?" Shepard asked, still confused over Chakwas' explanation. She still couldn't help the fluttering of her heart at realizing Raegas had done so much to help her before she herself was treated, too.

"Yes, somehow. She didn't specify how she did it, but it seems to be a Vertoakan trait at this point. Even so, she told me she couldn't do much because of her own injuries, and that means you'll be in here for at least another day." The doctor explained, pursing her lips in thought. Shepard fisted her hands, remembering how drained Raegas looked before she left the med-bay.

"How am I supposed to work, Doctor? I need to get going already!" Shepard stated almost petulantly, staring up at Chakwas in much the same way. The good doctor only raised a brow at the Commander before shaking her head.

"I wouldn't advise that, Shepard; you're lucky you're even alive at this point- if Raegas hadn't been there, I don't want to think what would've happened to you." the older woman replied, shooting Shepard down.

"I'm sure she'd have been fine, Chakwas; it's because of me she was in that mess in the first place." Shepard looked over to see Raegas walking over to them with two cups of coffee in her hands, smiling modestly. Why was she being so gentle all of a sudden?

"I'll just leave you two alone; I need to eat too, you know." The doctor said, before leaving the med-bay, smirking like the devil. She almost seemed to be planning something, but Shepard couldn't place it at all.

Raegas sat down and raised Shepard's bed slowly before handing her a cup of coffee. The Commander took it gratefully, happy to have the first cup of Joe she'd had in days. She took a sip and let the heavenly liquid fall down her throat, surprised at how good it tasted; Raegas must've made it herself since it didn't taste like the simple ration coffee the crew normally drank.

There was a silence as the two simply sat there, sipping at the coffee idly as if waiting for the other to speak. Shepard wanted to say something, but couldn't quite word it the right way and Raegas must've had something to say, but she looked so deep in thought that she might get lost there.

"…Thanks Shepard…" Raegas muttered, seemingly trying to hide something with her light smile. Shepard furrowed her brows and cocked her head to the side a bit.

"For what?" she asked. The Vertoakan stared at her for a few moments before looking to the bed's sheets contemplatively.

"Just… coming to get me and all. … I'm glad you're okay." She answered quietly, making Shepard blush a little at the confession.

"It was nothing." She replied, glad herself that the both of them were alright. "Besides, you're the one who saved us- especially me." Shepard added, holding her coffee in her lap idly.

"I couldn't have you go out on me. Not like that." Raegas almost whispered, reminding Shepard of how her mom had died in her arms in much the same way before. Shepard couldn't help but feel guilty over the whole thing, but she was still delighted in knowing Raegas had cared so much.  
>"Shepard?" Raegas asked, looking to her once more.<p>

"Yeah?" she asked in kind, wondering what Raegas was going to say.

"If I tell you something, can you keep it a secret?" the Vertoakan inquired, her intense gaze as it was before- even more so, almost. The questioned reminded Shepard of the time Raegas had said those same words to her before telling her about what happened in her coma. This was no doubt just as important if Raegas was asking said question.

"I'd like to think so." She replied, trying to alleviate the tense atmosphere. Raegas looked back down at the ground once more, biting her lip almost in confliction. Whatever it was, it must've been bothering the woman for a while if she was actually going to tell Shepard of whatever it was.

"I, uh… There's something you need to know…"

**A/N: Gasp! What was she going to say? Find out tomorrow! Or sometime soon, I don't know! XP**

**Review or PM me everyone, and tell me how much you love me. ;)**


	33. Some Progress

**Disclaimer: Wow, another disclaimer. Big surprise. I only have my OCs, as you all already know. If I did own Mass Effect, it's obvious I'd have changed a few things.**

**Liege Lord: I try not to be mean, you know! If I was, then things would be different right? :( Anyway, those are some interesting ideas and speculations, Lordy. I'm willing to wait and see what happens if you are. ;)**

**BAMS: I think I see where you're coming from and I'm glad you liked the chapter instead of just calling me a name or something. :)**

**Hopelessly Blue: Well at least now I know I'm not the only hopeless romantic here. I can certainly be weak when it comes to the mushy stuff as well, you know. XP I'm hoping at least Shepard will somehow walk in on Raegas in a weak moment or something, I haven't figured it out yet. Even so, I will try to 'help' Shepard through this or something, so hold tight and get ready for another ride on the proverbial rollercoaster. ;)**

**Kachie Takahashi: Well, you're certainly beginning to get ahead of the game, aren't you? I do hope I can surprise you still, seeing as how you're suspecting me of something already! XD**

**A/N: Sorry I'm late again with my updates everyone, I've just been sick and all. It seems I can't catch a break like Raegas, huh? XP**

I walked slowly through the hallway, staring blankly at the floor. It had been a week since Shepard woke up and I told her what happened and how I did it back on Black Frontier's ship. I had been meaning to tell Shepard just what I realized when I sat next to her in the med-bay, but… Well I guess I just lost the nerve to do so. I knew she liked me and the intensity of the feeling was almost overwhelming, given I had a bond with her now, and I knew I liked her too, but telling her was just…

"Raegas?" I glanced back and looked to a seemingly concerned Ayldrik. He was carrying several weapons that looked to be in bad condition giving me the impression he was on his way to see Ashley as usual. It was clear to me he was smitten but whether Ash felt the same or not was a mystery, given I hadn't seen her long enough recently to get much of a feel for it.

"Need something? Other than the Chief's attention, that is." I said, getting him to blow out a small laugh.

"I just figured she'd be wondering where I was, so…" he trailed off with a mischievous look about that grin of his.

"Oh? I don't suppose you're having trouble getting through the doors with that big head, hm?" I inquired, smirking. He shrugged, bowing his head in understanding.

"I can see you're not up for talking then. Just try not to snap off too many heads that ask if you're okay- for me, sis." He said, seeing my raised brow. I pursed my lips before gesturing for him to continue on his way, slightly irritated. I hated it when people asked if I was okay in that overly worried, high-pitched tone.

Ayldrik left then, heading straight for the Chief's station. I exchanged a look with Ciria before sighing, looking to the elevator. I looked back down at my companion then, already wanting to leave before Ayldrik turned into mush in Ash's hands.

"Let's go, Ciria. I don't want to watch Ayldrik's vying for attention." I said, getting an approving coo from her as we stepped into the elevator and I pressed for deck two.

Ciria had grown enough to come up to my knees by then, so she'd officially graduated from hood-riding, as Joker called it. Shepard had given me back my jacket the day before as well, so I really just wore it everywhere I went. I wasn't sure why, but I loved it because Shepard's scent was on it. Had I turned into a dog and not realized it?

As I slowly made my way to the elevator I saw the mess was empty.

_Well, might as well get it out of the way_, I thought.

I half-limped to the food dispenser and retrieved the steak I had hidden away along with a simple bowl of cereal. I nuked the steak in the strange 'microwave' first, and set it on the tabletop where Ciria gratefully took it. I sat down with the bowl of cereal and began eating on it hungrily, my stomach growling audibly.

"You're welcome, by the way." I grumbled lightly, getting a grunt from Ciria as she practically inhaled the steak. A hand on my shoulder caught my attention, but since the person was moving to sit in a chair beside of me, I kept eating my cereal.

"We're heading to Virmire now, but it'll take about a day to get there. Think you'll be up for the mission by then?" I looked over and saw Shepard wearing an inquisitive smirk.

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked rhetorically, taking another bite of food. Ciria was having a good time with the steak. It smelled so good I even considered stealing a bite of it. She was lucky I was so nice to her or she'd be eating the cereal instead, the little carnivore.

"I just don't want to rush you; after what happened, I…" she trailed off, but I still got what she was saying. Chakwas had told her everything I hadn't- meaning, Shepard was made aware of the extent I went to, to help her. I had tried to keep as many details as I could out of my explanation if only to keep her from knowing or finding out just what I did and especially why I did them.

"We've both been resting the same amount of time; if you're ready then I am as well." I said simply, watching Ciria to make sure she didn't eat the plate along with the steak.

A hand enclosed my wrist, gaining my attention and I turned my gaze on Shepard to see her expression. I couldn't quite decipher just what she was feeling, but it seemed important. If it wasn't, then she wouldn't be sitting at my side, I suppose.

"Look, Dr. Chakwas told me what they did to you from her scans. I just didn't want you to-"

"Shepard, I'm fine." I said, cutting her off abruptly. I wasn't going to let her tell me some emotional thing if I could help it- it was too dangerous. If she ended up saying something about when she 'confessed' to me, then I may very well confess myself. "I know you want to talk about what happened before and I know you want to know why I didn't tell you or even why I've maintained our… friendship… as best I could, but-" my throat closed, cutting me off, preventing me from telling her something I may regret.  
>"Let me just say I couldn't even if I wanted to, okay? For now, let's just focus on the mission." I finished, barely stepping by that land mine. Shepard stared at me for a few moments blankly, not saying much of anything. Maybe she was trying to process what I said or something.<p>

"… Yeah, I… I agree…" she muttered, obviously a little shaken. I know it wasn't what she wanted to hear, but at least I got her to stop lingering on an issue I refused to solve for her until I got a hold of myself.

I just didn't want to let her down anymore.

…

Virmire. This place was to be an early grave to one of two people of Shepard's team. I wasn't quite fond of the idea, but I didn't believe there was any way to avoid it.

_Perhaps if I…? _

No, that wouldn't work. I wasn't sure what I could do, but maybe this was just something I had to accept. Then again, I saved Benezia, and that wasn't supposed to happen.

"There's the STG camp." Shepard said, indicating the setup of tents at the end of the surf. We sped to the edge of the water and stopped. I unstrapped myself quickly and easily, glancing to a very shaken up Tali. Wrex seemed fine like I was, and as he exited the mako, I helped Tali to stand. We got out of the machine to see Ashley and Kaiden talking to Kirrahe.

"A hundred credits say this'll be more complicated than we think." I muttered, getting a grunt from Wrex. Shepard raised herself out of the hatch behind me and we both dropped to the ground.

"Come on, I want you at this 'meeting'." Shepard said, waving her hand towards herself. I figured it was because of my 'precognition', but it wasn't as if I could help.

I followed her to the small group, and after setting introductions aside, we delved into the plan.

After a few minutes, I realized this was all old news. I stifled a yawn as they spoke and collaborated, waiting for someone to actually ask me something. That moment came when Kirrahe turned his gaze on me questioningly.

"Do you know the status of any of my captured comrades?" he asked, somewhat surprising me. It wasn't as if any of them were going to survive.

"They've been experimented on. A sergeant is still himself, but the rest of them…" I trailed off, knowing he understood.

"I see. Commander, who will lead one of my teams?" he asked. It was then that I just realized Wrex had stomped off. Strange: I didn't miss things like that. Ever. Perhaps my mind was still preoccupied…

"Williams, you're with Kirrahe. No heroics." She said, getting a 'yes, ma'am' from the Chief. For some reason, I felt conflicted about this. I wasn't sure if it improved her chances or not, but I didn't really want to think about it at the moment.

"You'd better talk to Wrex, it looks like he's about to blow a gasket." Ashley said, pulling me back to reality. I was glad we got him his armor and such, but Shepard would have to pull out the charm on this one.

As everyone broke from the small huddle we had been in, I went to the tent with Kareck and Raja, in it. They looked to me when I entered, no doubt worried about what would happen. I couldn't blame them.

"Is Wrex going to be alright?" Kareck asked, crossing his arms. I shrugged.

"That depends on him and Shepard." I answered, getting a sigh from him. He was silent for a few moments, but soon decided to tell me something. It seemed to make him dodgy all of a sudden, so I figured it was important.

"Um… can I tell you something, Raegas?" he asked, beginning to wring his hands. I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes…" I said, drawling it out to make it sound obvious.

"Well, I… Tali, she… um…" he stuttered, not really making much sense. I drew from my experience with advising my friends back when I was on Earth and managed to figure out what he was saying.

"You like her." I stated blatantly, startling him a bit.

"Uh- well, yeah…" he conceded, looking to the ground.

"What, am I supposed to say something? If you care for her, I'll support you." I said, crossing my arms. He smiled brightly and threw his arms around me excitedly.

"Thank you!" he exclaimed. Then he let me go and rushed from the tent, Raja at his side, leaving me alone with a random salarian. It was a little awkward at first, but I activated my cannon and began running diagnostics on it to make sure it was working at full capacity.

A few minutes later, I saw feet approaching me, so I shut down the cannon and looked up. Shepard scratched the back of her head and sighed as she came to a rest in front of me. I wondered if she got sleep the night before, but brushed the thought away as quick as it had come; I didn't need to be more distracted than I already was.

"What's up?" I asked, getting her attention.

"We're moving out in three; get ready." She said, patting me on the shoulder. I shrugged and returned to my diagnostics as she walked off.

**A/N: Kind of a short chapter, but I wanted to get things moving along once more, you know? Anyway, I do hope everything will work out.**

**Review or PM me if you want; ask me a question or two, state you opinion or just say a kind 'hello'. ;) **


	34. False Choices

**Disclaimer: As I have said and as I will keep saying, I own only what I create myself. Shocker.**

**Kachie Takahashi: Yeah, Raegas can get caught up in the details of things and not see solutions or answers even when they're right in front of her, so it's only natural for her to feel conflicted about important things. Well, I suppose; I may have 'created' her, but she's becoming a living being in her own right. I loved the duct tape comment too! You know, I used to have this shirt that said 'duct tape is like the force; it has a light side and a dark side. It holds the universe together'. You made me smile! ;)**

**BAMS: I do hope it'll be interesting for you, and I will try to add in some action for you since you seem to be one for such things every now and then. I took a look at your story as well and I reviewed for you. ;)**

**Hopelessly Blue: You knew, huh? I suppose it's only logical that Raegas would fear the consequences of what would happen were she to confess to Shepard. You know, the whole issue with getting 'too attached' or 'too involved' or something. I'm glad you liked the part with Kareck; he just looks up to Raegas so much that he always wants her to be happy and such, you know how it is (even though my little brother refuses to acknowledge his own little 'puppy side'). A nice clue with the explosions expert thing as well, HB, you're on fire! Jasin certainly is an explosions master- she always has something that can blow up on her person.**

**Liege Lord: I'm glad you liked the small inner comment, Lordy. I figured since Raegas has a strong sense of smell that she'd pick up scents easily and all, so… Anyway, I'll do my best to surprise you somehow!**

**Razor T McCutchn: Ha! You made me smile, my friend, and I thank you; I needed that! Hello to you as well. ;)**

**A/N: Ooh, a quick update! I do hope you can forgive my latest slowness in updating, everyone. Anyway, let's get to the story!**

"Hey! Sis, wait up!" I turned from the doorway to see Jasin running up to me with something in her hand.

"I'll catch up." I said to Shepard, gesturing for her to go on. She hesitantly nodded before turning back around and waving for the rest of the team to follow. At the moment, that included Shepard, Tali, Kareck and Raja. I figured I could just catch up once I finished talking to Jasin.

"What's so urgent that you'd stop me right when I'm about to infiltrate an enemy base?" I asked, crossing my arms. She handed me a datapad with information about explosives in it. I glanced through, figuring she found whatever this was talking about important.

"That bomb that the lizard captain talked about can only be activated remotely- whoever stays behind to make sure that thing goes off is going to die." She stated, pointing to the bomb as if it were the plague. I had forgotten her tendency to hate explosives that killed people for no reason. She called them 'disgraces to the explosive world' or something.

"It's all we have." I said, leaning my weight on one leg to show my impatience. She could beat around the bush sometimes.

"That'd be true if I wasn't here. Look, I think I can rig the bomb to take a remote activator- the tech isn't the same but I'll make it work." She said, gripping my shoulder. I stared into her determined eyes and knew she was already in one of her 'modes'. She wouldn't give up even if I told her it wouldn't work so what was the point?

"Fine, but if it doesn't work I want you on the ship before drop off; there's no point in needless deaths, Jasin." I said. Ayldrik then came over and gripped Jasin's shoulder to calm her. She let go of me and took a breath as she absently scratched behind Waru's ears.

"I'll help her out, sis. Just keep an eye on the others and make sure they don't get too reckless." Ayldrik smiled reassuringly and Saiga cooed agreeably to show she would take care of Ayldrik as well.

"Fine. Make sure they get out of there in time if it doesn't work you two." I ordered, looking to their Ulaeviel partners. Saiga and Raja agreed in unison, pushing their faces into my abdomen for confirmation.

At that, I left to catch up to Shepard and the others.

…

"Sovereign." I growled, staring at his hologram. He was silent for a few moments as if in shock. Of what though?

"Corruptor…! Do not think your presence will divert what is inevitable." He rumbled angrily, managing to sound pissed off. But what the hell did he mean by 'corruptor'? Sure, I had the Gavaek'Jaggx in me, but…

"Corruptor?" Shepard wondered, stepping forward.

"This exchange is over." He announced, his hologram blinking out of view. Shepard and I both shared confused looks before Joker called on the radio and told us to hurry the hell up.

We rushed out of Saren's office and across the bridge from where we released Rana Thanoptis, only to meet an ambush.

Raja leapt forward and latched onto a Krogan, ripping his throat out and gouging his eyes. Tali overloaded a few Geth and I fired off my cannon's spare seeker missiles to take out the stalkers, while Shepard dropped the other two Krogan. Kareck incinerated the last of the opposing forces, and we all ran through the door at the end.

I had a feeling we'd be running into a lot of enemies for the rest of the mission, unfortunately.

Another ambush was set up for us, but there were less this time. We all quickly took them out and flagged down the Normandy to drop off the bomb. It didn't take long for it to land at all, and thanks to Joker's flying, it didn't impede too much movement. As the cargo bay doors opened, I saw Kaiden and Johnson standing by it. Once the door was fully down, they lifted it up and brought it out.

As they moved out of the way, I saw Ciria sitting on her haunches at the edge of the cargo bay. She was giving me this look that just told me she felt it. The foreboding pressure of this place. I felt it as well, thanks to my Vertoakan instincts, but I knew, soon, someone was going to die. I didn't want it to happen, and I was still trying to think of a way to get out of it, but…

"_Raegas, we're moving out; Ash's in trouble." _Shepard spoke through the comm, her voice a tad rushed. I could understand since they were friends.

I shared a last look with Ciria before I quickly made my way to Shepard, who then led us through another set of doors. As we encountered an ambush, the group combined our abilities, fighting them off easily. In the middle of the battle though, I received a private call from Ayldrik. He was still with Jasin and the bomb, no doubt listening in to the radio chatter.

"What do you need, Ayl, I'm a little busy here!" I yelled over an explosion, staggering back a bit.

"_You have to get to Ash, sis!" _he called back, concern in his otherwise reserved voice. I incinerated a Geth stalker as he spoke, getting a shot in the shoulder for my trouble. I cursed from the pain, but ignored it as it healed, albeit slower than usual thanks to my lack of nutrition.

"That's what we're trying to do right now!" I yelled, a grenade going off right beside of me, throwing me to the ground. I had felt the shrapnel imbed in my armor but it couldn't get through thanks to its origin. I groaned and forced myself to sit up, even as my head was spinning.

"_No, you don't understand!" _he argued, rushed. A rocket from a juggernaut slammed into Kati then, somehow throwing her onto me, slamming both of us to the ground.

"What are you talking about?" I groaned, pushing Kati off of me after seeing she was okay.

"_Well-… ah, she… I… we- we're…I- I like her but I haven't told her okay!" _he stuttered, finally managing to get it out once we finished off the opposition and moved on.

We boarded the elevator and went up. I visibly wilted as we stood there, and shook my head slightly. No one else could hear our conversation, so I wasn't surprised they were confused. Still, why did no one ever tell me anything unless someone's life was at stake? It was bothersome to say the least.

"Great time to tell me, Ayldrik." I said sarcastically, feeling terrible. What would happen if Shepard decided to save Kaiden instead of Ashley? Because of my family, I had a feeling Ayldrik would choose Ashley as his Soulmate. This would be either bad or good, depending on how everything turned out. Even if Ash was saved and they were incompatible, then what was even the point to all of this? I could only hope Jasin figured out a way to use a remote detonator or someone was going to die.

"_I know, it's just… I never found the right moment to…" _he trailed off, but I knew what he was saying. I lowered my head and stared at the ground, unable to decide on how I should feel at the moment.

"I understand little brother. I'll do the best I can." I said quietly, seriously.

"_I know you will. Thank you."_ he said, and then cut the line before I could answer. I straightened my posture and stepped out of the elevator with the others. Shepard took the lead and I mentally told my armor to reconnect the comm line with everyone else.

"_Is there something I should know, Raegas?" _Shepard asked, her authoritative tone giving me ground to work on.

"Not unless you want extra pressure." I answered, my voice as confident as usual. There was a silence, so I figured she just accepted it. I had little doubt she'd either ask me about it later, or find out by some other means. I knew the news could push Shepard to rescue Ashley, but I didn't want to tell her yet. I wanted her to make the decision on her own, without outside influence.

This was a shot in the dark, but even so…

…

Finally, we made it to the spot. Shepard would have to choose here, and if she didn't choose Ashley, I didn't know what I would do. Then again, I was still hoping Jasin and Ayldrik had found some way to make a remote device for the bomb.

As we ascended the small ramp, we began to cross the walkway. Suddenly, the Geth drop ship glided into view and stopped over the bomb's position.

"_We just detected a drop ship heading to your position LT!" _Ashley yelled over the comm, gunfire and explosions in her background.

"_Yeah, it's bleeding Geth all over the place! Commander, get Ash and get out of here!" _he called. Shepard went to the railing and leaned on it.

"What are you doing, Lieutenant?" she demanded.

"_Making sure this bomb goes off! No matter what."_ He answered, also shooting on Geth.

"_Negative on that, Commander, get the LT and get out of here!"_ she countered, sounding a tad hoarse. At least she knew of Ayldrik. My heart was beating like a drum from the adrenaline, but the pit of my stomach was growing more and more full of anxiety. What would Shepard do?

We all knew there was no way to use the Normandy; both situations were too hot, and friendly fire was too much of a risk. Ash's situation had more friendly's we could save, but Kaiden had to protect the bomb and make sure it goes off- not to mention two of my siblings were down there. Unfortunately, both situations had merit.  
>As I thought, I noticed Shepard looking to me as if I had the answers. I could tell she was silently asking if there was any way to save both of them. Great. Put the blame on me for being unable to save them both… honestly, I preferred it that way. I didn't want Shepard to go through this, having to choose to, essentially, kill a friend. I had practically condemned all that I knew and loved at one time; one more death on my hands wouldn't change anything.<p>

Having made up my mind, I shook my head, telling her I couldn't do anything. This was all up to Jasin and Ayldrik. She slumped slightly at that, but kept strong. She turned to face the elevator that would take us to Ashley. Then, she looked in the direction we would go to save Kaiden.

She then looked to the ground.

"_Wait! Hold on, everyone, we've got it!" _Jasin's voice cut through what Shepard was about to say, causing us to jump from the suddenness.

"_We've set up the remote detonator and Jasin made sure the Geth wouldn't be able to deactivate it no matter what! We did it!"_ Ayldrik practically cheered, the grin in his voice relieving. I felt my body heave a silent sigh of relief as we all stood there, unmoving.

"_Get your asses to the pickup now!" _Shepard yelled, already starting for the elevator.

"_We'll be there in no time!" _Kaiden called back. His acceptance of his almost-death was expected, but it didn't make it any easier. I knew what it was like.

"_Good work Jasin, Ayldrik; I knew you could do it."_ I said, and then shut off the comm. I clenched my teeth together, forcing myself not to say anything more to Shepard. Before I knew it, we were in the elevator and going up.

…

Once to the top, we rushed out and opened fire on the Geth and Krogan. I was _pissed_; my siblings almost died, along with Kaiden, and it would've been my fault. Even though it may not have happened, I had a sudden urge to kill every Geth I saw. I wouldn't have been surprised if my red eyes glowed strongly enough to shine through my visor as I set my cannon to a mode I almost never used; Chaos. I set the beam on wide dispersal, and, after making sure no friendlies were in the way, I fired. The beam ripped and tore through the enemy units, hitting the fuel tanks, making them explode and incinerate all within the radius.

When it cleared, I saw that the walls and platforms were… gone. They had just been blown into nothing by my attack. I found myself failing to calm down at seeing all enemies were dead- nothing but limbs- and keeping my aim steady. Since the walls were gone, the only people in my view were the salarians and Ashley.

"Raegas…?" I didn't move at Kareck's pensive voice. My body wasn't listening to my mind's screaming to stop. It was as if my protective side had suddenly taken over from the fear of losing everything I had all over again. My glowing eyes narrowed, trying to focus. My sharp teeth clenched together in pain- I could feel my body beginning to shake.

"Saren." My changed voice drawled angrily, my eyes seeing the traitor approaching on his hover-thing. He was the reason for all of this. My cannon switched to the chaos beam's simple shot instead if dispersal as I focused on him. Everyone turned from me and looked up at him, panicking.

They all ran for cover but me.

As he landed and stepped off of his hoverer, he locked eyes with me. He grabbed his weapon and aimed at me as well. A face off with Shepard's enemy was almost satisfying. My Bloodrage stirred further and burned along my body, showing the markings of it in the form of glowing red tattoos. Since he had no helmet and I wasn't thinking correctly, I let mine retract, showing part of a tattoo under my eye that extended into my collar. I knew it glowed red like a renegade Shepard's would in the games. Good thing mine wasn't… my…? My Shepard…?

Somehow… I liked the sound of that.

"So you're the interferer. Why fight the inevitable? You can't stop the Reapers, no matter what you do!" he sneered, obviously displeased with me. My jaw unclenched and the corner of my mouth turned down in a small frown.

"You're naïve belief that Sovereign will spare you is pathetic. He is already in control of you, Saren." My voice seemed to make him pause for a moment, but it wasn't long before he growled at me.

"No, Sovereign needs me! I know the more control he exerts on a subject, the less… capable it becomes. That is my saving grace. Only I can find the conduit!" he said, only proving me right. Against my better judgment, and relatively sympathetic side, I chuckled. The sound no doubt startled everyone- it would've startled me, were I myself.

"Is that so, Puppet? I can find little reason why Sovereign keeps you, then. You know this, but you disregard it, clinging to whatever anchor you can find." I paused, furrowing my brows in an almost pleading expression. "Fight his hold on you, at least. He's controlling you even now, but you're too blind to see it!"

"You don't understand, do you? Organics fight, even when we _know_ we cannot win. Synthetics go by logic, reason; they are better, and they will win. Join us, Raegas. You can live." He said, lowering his weapon and holding his hand out to me. He even took a small step forward, moving slowly.  
>"You can tip the balance of Sovereign's power; you can use the Gavaek'Jaggx to become invincible!" he almost smiled, reaching out to me invitingly. My heart went into overdrive as my Bloodrage built up- and flowed over. The corruption inside of me burst out of myself.<br>"You can rule the galaxy with us!" he called, pushing me off the edge.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed, my changed voice's second tone more of a roar of a demon than my own. My cannon fired on him and slammed into his side, throwing him back. His hoverer floated back to him then, and he stepped onto it, flying away quickly.

My entire body shook as my armor began to go haywire from the power fluctuating around me. I was trying to catch my breath as tears streamed down my face, but I still wasn't myself. I bared my teeth painfully; my chest feeling like it was going to burst open.

I heard splashing behind me, but I couldn't make myself move or calm down, my self-hatred encompassing me involuntarily.

"Raegas!" my eyes screwed shut as I hunched over a bit, trying to control myself. Suddenly, hands came to either side of my face, holding there. "Raegas, he's gone, it's alright!" she tried again, pulling my face up. My corrupted eyes cracked open to see urgent and worried green eyes. My body unconsciously relaxed and my cannon deactivated, releasing my arm.

"She…pard…?" my now more normal voice whispered as my brows furrowed slightly, trying to focus on her. I still couldn't quite see straight, but I could see Shepard's face.

"Yeah, it's me. Come on Raegas, we have to go, the Normandy's here." She said. My eyes trailed along and saw behind Shepard where everyone else was boarding the ship.

"I see now…" I muttered, now fully relaxing and coming back to myself. Shepard took my wrist and pulled me to the ship quickly as I became myself again. As the last of the tattoos faded away, the cargo bay doors closed and we sped off in an effort to outrun the blast.

**A/N: I see some more drama has reared its ugly head, everyone. Really, I'm sorry for this and everything, especially since I kind of sped through, but I need to get things trudging along once more, you know?**

**Anyway, review, PM me, sit there like a vegetable or tell me how much you want more; I don't care, just pick one. ;)**


	35. A Silent Confession?

**Disclaimer: I just got whatever I make myself, y'all. Totally. Like… like brownies or something.**

**BAMS: Anytime buddy, I'm just glad you liked the chapter.**

**Razor T McCutchn: A vegetable, huh? So I really can call you a couch potato? (See 'cause it's a vegetable… and you said… yeah…) Anyway, I'm sure a lot of people are wondering the same things you are, as I am. I suppose we'll just have to wait, right?**

**Kachie Takahashi: I'm also happy to see they didn't get hurt too much again even though they are very reckless. I do agree with you on the Corruption thing you got going; it and Raegas (seeing as how she didn't react when Nazara called her the Corruptor) could have something to do with the Reapers. Still, we can't know for sure until it's explained…**

**Liege Lord: I figure Raegas is waiting to throw Nazara off-balance until she's sure it'll make a real difference. For example, she could distract him with the name during the attack on the Citadel and all, you know? Either way, we'll just have to hope everything will turn out well. And thank you, Shepard did well in practically saving everyone from Raegas' Corrupted Bloodrage, eh?**

**Hopelessly Blue: I didn't mean to make the hover-thingy sound so funny… -_- Oh, but I also hope Ayl and Ash are compatible. Still, he might hold off if he somehow finds out about what happens with her in the second game. Not that he will, I'm just sayin'… And yes, that whole Reaper thing is highly suspect. I can only hope I surprise you with whatever happens later; I don't like it when people know what's coming, I feel like it takes the emotion out of the writing. Anyway, thanks HB, I hope to see you again as well. ;)**

**A/N: 'Kay, let's get this going so we can see what happens next!**

Luckily, we made it with seconds to spare. Once that was over with, we had to take care of everything. We had to get out of our armor, go to the med-bay for treatment or check-ups, have a debriefing with the team and the salarians, fix damaged equipment, make plans, contact the Council, decide what to do about morale and do a headcount for multiple reasons. All in all, we were busy the rest of the day and it wasn't until eleven at night that we finally finished.

And at that time, a crew member came up to me looking afraid, but approached still. He had seen my little episode, along with everyone else, back with Saren. Unfortunately, that whole incident of Virmire allowed the crew more reasons to either hate me or be afraid of me. With some, it was both.

"Ms. Raegas? I was told to, ah… to give this… to you…" he stuttered, handing me a datapad. I took it and scrolled through the data, scanning the information contained in it. Great. Ashley damaged her suit enough so I'd have to fix the damn thing. I glanced up to see the kid was still standing there, shifting uncomfortably.

"Thank you, Johnson." I said, walking away, ignoring his dumbfounded expression. I had no doubt he didn't know I knew his name, but when you're more observant than most people, you find things out. Especially when _some_ people spoke louder than they needed to.

I made my way down to the fourth deck, Ciria at my side as usual. After a long elevator ride, I made it down and trudged to the CC, sighing. I walked through the doors, staring at the ground and took a step forward. Before I could continue though, arms surrounded me in a tight embrace, startling me. I blinked several times, unable to think of what I was supposed to do. After a moment, the person drew back, showing me it was Ashley.

"Did I give you a million credits and forget?" I managed, getting her to blow out a laugh as she patted my shoulder. I didn't think I was emotionally strong enough at the moment to take the happiness or, rather, relief from Ashley.

"No, but… you saved me and the others back there… on Virmire." She said, sobering up. I lowered my brows and frowned slightly.

"It was Ayl and Jasin, not me. I'm the one who failed at helping or taking Saren, if anything." I responded, going to my table. Ash's armor was lying there in a dented, burned pile. She must've taken a beating. A moment later, I felt her hand at my shoulder and squeeze slightly. I was surprised that I didn't care about her touching me.

"It wasn't your fault, Raegas. None of us could've stopped that crazy bastard." She said. I sighed and chose not to put my slight issue on her and turned to face her.

"So, what was that hug for? I doubt it was because you actually like me." I said, crossing my arms and leaning against the table. She seemed to take on a guilty expression at that.

"Yeah, I've been an ass." She said, looking down.

"I don't blame you; I hate myself too." I said, cocking my head to the side. She looked back at me for a few shocked moments before regaining herself.

"After you saved my life- again- I realized I have more to live for than just my family. I'm not afraid of dying for the Alliance, but when it comes to leaving comrades behind, I… Anyway, I wanted to tell you in person that I… well, uh…" she said. Why did people lose their nerve to talk to me whenever it came to something personal?

"You and Ayldrik look good together." I saw her shocked face, but I continued. "He really likes you, you know." I said, not bothering to hide the small smirk on my face.

"I really like him as well, as odd as it is, considering…" she paused for a moment, and then chuckled to herself. "I think I've even fallen for the dork." She smiled to herself, perhaps thinking of something funny that happened before. Then, she looked back to me, pensive once more.  
>"He told me you were the head of your family, so…" so she understands… at least a little bit. I was shocked that my siblings still accepted me as the head of the family, but even more so that Ashley respected it enough to speak to me in person. The thought brought a small smile to my face.<p>

"I don't know whether it's important to you or not, but… you have my blessing. Care for each other always." I said, earning a bright smile from the Chief. I had to keep myself from thinking of what happens at Horizon in the second game. I could only hope to somehow change that small issue later.

"You're pretty cool after all." She chuckled teasingly, punching me in the arm. The gesture confused me a bit, but before I could answer, she left.

"Okay…?" I muttered. I looked down at Ciria for a moment and shared a look with her.

As I thought of everything that had happened that day, I turned to my table and began working on the armor.

…

I had hoped fixing Ash's armor would get my mind off of things, but it appeared that wasn't the case. It was all I could think about, my uselessness replaying in my mind, over and over again. By the time I was finished with the armor, I found myself wondering if Shepard was alright. I was actually worried about her, what with everyone bearing down on her and the almost death of Ash or Kaiden.

"Damn…" I muttered, screwing my dry eyes shut, trying to get the dryness out. As they watered, I placed my hands on the table and leaned on them, hunching over. I wasn't supposed to be her friend, but look how it worked out; I _really _cared for Shepard. That was terrible; I'd try to save her from the destruction of the first Normandy! That was supposed to happen though! I couldn't just…  
>"Why me…?" I whispered in question, to no one in particular.<p>

I shook myself and decided to at least check up on Shepard and see how she was doing. If she was feeling fine, she'd have come to me instead. Great. Now I was a pushover when it came to her. Wonder what comes next.

Cursing myself, I rode up in the elevator to the second deck, wondering where she was in the first place. With a sigh, I made my way to the mess. I hadn't eaten since before Virmire, so it was only fair that I got some food since it was over. Besides, I needed a few minutes to get my thoughts together and stop this headache from getting worse.

Ciria whined quietly suddenly, grabbing my attention. I looked up and saw Shepard staring at a plate of food, more spaced out than I'd ever seen her.

So much for getting my thoughts un-jumbled. I figured it may not be a good time to talk to her or even bother her with my useless presence anyway, but I approached her all the same. I just wanted to see if she'd be alright before I started something.

Sitting down across from her at the table, I said, "I hear it's unhealthy to brood alone."

She didn't say anything in return, but her expression softened a little and she stopped smelling like she was afraid or something. I was glad my presence brought some measure of comfort to her but if she didn't speak then I couldn't help.

"I take it this is my turn to be Shepard and try to get you to talk?" I inquired rhetorically, earning a tiny quirk of the lip from Shepard. "Alright then." I confirmed, trying not to sound as if I had no idea of what to say.

We sat there for a few moments in a slightly tense, slightly companionable silence. She still stared at her plate and I gazed upon her lightly, trying not to stare like a creepy neighbor; she was beautiful. How did I not notice before?

"So…" I started, rubbing my palms together under the table. Shepard still said nothing, but her smile spread just a little in response. It was better than nothing at least.

There were a few more moments of silence as we sat there. The air almost seemed warmer and less heavy causing me to think my body was reacting in some strange way to whatever the situation was.

"What's your favorite color?" I asked with a smirk, making Shepard blow out a small laugh. I could see she loosened up a little as well, relieving me a bit; at least I knew Shepard liked quirkiness almost as much as she did my sarcasm. Perhaps it was simple playfulness on my part though, as rare as it was.  
>"I'm guessing…" I started, tapping my chin in mock thought as I assessed Shepard's expression. She looked back to me then, her eyes practically shining. My heart literally back-flipped at the seemingly simple gesture, surprising me less than I'd have thought. Maybe it was because I finally knew how I felt toward Shepard, as inconvenient as it was.<br>"Blue?" I asked. She shook her head, smirking a little bigger. "Green." I suggested. She shook her head once more and Ciria almost grumbled to herself at my antics.

Before I could say another random color, Shepard reached out and took hold of a lock of my hair, curling it around her finger. I found myself stuck and unable to move in the slightest. My breath seemed too thin as I stared back, into her endless emerald eyes. Who knew I would be so sensitive to the Commander once I found out about my real emotions…?

"Red." She said quietly. My mind instantly went blank as my cheeks suddenly started to burn, no doubt turning as red as my hair. The response only served to make Shepard smile wider, no doubt pleasing her in some way. It wasn't as if she had power over me. Okay, even I knew that was a lie...  
>"You make a pretty good Shepard, Raegas." She added, before releasing my hair and pulling her hand back. I had to stop myself from stopping her. My hands actually itched and grew restless with the need to touch Shepard and feel her skin.<p>

Perhaps this was a side-effect of telling myself I could never be with her? I suppose it was also caused by several other reasons I'd rather not think about in the first place. As much as I wanted to tell Shepard, I couldn't. I was too afraid of what could happen and what I would change if I went too far. Hell, I was probably too far at the moment.

"Nah… I'm not one for all the attention…" I replied, trying to speak correctly even as my tongue seemed to swell. The reply seemed to calm her from thinking she freaked me out though, so that was all well at least. I may not have been used to being touched often, but it wasn't as if I was bothered by it too considerably. Not when it was Shepard, anyway.  
>"Anyway, I uh… just figured I could…" I trailed off, not finding the words I needed to continue. I suppose my brain was still frozen thanks to Shepard's little stunt. If anything, I'd just mange to embarrass myself more if I tried too hard to continue.<p>

As if in understanding, Shepard nodded to herself. The look in her eyes as she glanced back down at the table told me she was either trying to say something to herself or trying to think of what to say to me. I decided to take the initiative once more, knowing she would be slow to speak. At least my brain was starting to calm down. Sort-of.

"Look, what happened down there… I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to help this time, it's just…" my voice faded when Shepard smiled at me, no doubt sensing the turmoil in me thanks to that stupid bond.

"Raegas, you've saved my life several times already, each time in crazy circumstances. Just because your siblings come up with some way to help everyone as well doesn't make you any less valuable." She stated. Her words actually calmed me and put some of those worries to rest.

It almost seemed as if she knew me better than I did myself…

"Same goes for you, Shepard." I muttered, clasping my hands together under the table to try and get rid of their persistent itching. It was quickly starting to irritate me more than I'd have liked.

"I think we know each other enough for you to use my real name, Raegas." Shepard smiled warmly even though I could sense the hesitation and worry in her. If I used her first name then I'd just grow even more attached, which was one thing I couldn't afford.

"Shepard…" I started, looking down.

"I know you don't want to get hurt, but if you can't open up then you'll never be happy. I know you don't want to hear this and I know we can't deal with this for real until we've dealt with Saren, but…" she stopped, seemingly giving up when she saw my tense expression.

She began to stand then, but I grabbed her wrist before even I knew I'd moved, keeping her in place. We stared into each other's eyes once more and I had to keep myself from falling into hers again lest I forget what our conversation was even about. She seemed as surprised as I felt, her mouth agape and her body still.

I started to open my mouth, wanting to say just what I felt about everything. This simple reflex of my body told me just what I needed to know- and more. I had grown too close to Shepard, but even so, in that moment, I couldn't care less. Not by much, anyway, seeing as how there was a frantic voice in my head, screaming at me to stop.

"Shepard, I-" I whispered, trying to think of what to say.

"Ma'am?" both Shepard and I were shocked from our respective trances by a crewman holding a datapad out to Shepard, looking confused. How long had he been standing there?

I let go of Shepard and stood in my seat, controlling my inward desire to maul the crewman for ruining whatever moment I'd just been in. then again, perhaps I should've been grateful for him snapping me out of it before I could tell Shepard just what I'd told myself not to. I'd have to find out a way to lock up my emotions again or they could very well cause more problems than we needed. Even so, I still wanted to punch the guy in the face.

After Shepard signed whatever was on the datapad, the crewman left, blushing. He probably caught my murderous glare when I stood up. Shepard turned to me then, catching my attention once more. I couldn't say anything more at the moment, and now that the moment was ruined and my feelings were once more in check, there was no way I'd continue what I'd almost said.

"I'll… just be going then." Shepard muttered, sounding and smelling of disappointment. Perhaps she'd had a feeling as to what I was going to say? No, there was no way she could sense that much; she was human, after all, not Vertoakan.

She turned to leave and I felt my heart speed up as adrenaline started to jump through me. Shepard began to walk away and I clenched my teeth, refusing to call after her, refusing to say anything. I couldn't use her real name for fear I would lose myself like I almost just did moments before. I couldn't afford-

"Aerin!" dammit.

Shepard paused in her walking and stood still as a statue for a few moments as if registering what I'd just yelled, what I'd just called her by.

Slowly, ever so slowly, she turned to face me. We locked gazes instantly and I had no power over myself as a small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth in seeing her shock. At least I could surprise 'the great Commander Shepard' still.

"You have to use my real first name as well." I stated. The Commander nodded after another minute of staring at me, her eyes absolutely lighting up even as her face barely stayed in control.

She left then, her ecstatic smile the last I saw of her before she turned the corner.

**A/N: I hope you liked this mostly-happy chapter and all you guys, especially since I actually tried to make it so. And I'm sick, so you can't be mean. Please? ;-;**


	36. Confirmed

**Disclaimer: I already told you all about this so I don't want to repeat myself. But I will. Because I'm poor. I only own what I create on my own and such. There. Happy?**

**BAMS: I'm happy to hear you liked the fluffy chapter, bud.**

**Razor T McCutchn: If you say so… XP**

**Kachie Takahashi: I'm glad you liked; I tried to make it light-hearted and all to give you guys a break on all of the drama and such. Your 'advice' to Raegas made sense as well and I hope she realizes it soon too. ;)**

**Hopelessly Blue: it's good to hear you liked the chapter, HB- I allowed the fluff to flow just for you, you know. I also agree with your talking of the future; it's just best to try and move on than to allow yourself to get stuck on something you may not be able to change even if you try. Oh, and I like too many colors to have a real favorite, sweetcheeks. ;)**

**PS Thanks for the flowers, they smell great! XP**

**Liege Lord: Already thinking of the Confession scene, are you? I suppose that makes sense and all, but it's unfortunate I haven't figured out just what'll happen that night before Ilos…**

**A/N: I guess I should put up a poll on my profile for you guys to check out; it has to do with Raegas' confessing to Shepard and whether she should wait or not, so you'd better vote or it just won't happen. Period.**

I and Ciria were back in the mess the next day. It was apparent by everybody either staring at me or trying to sit next to me that they had a new rumor going on about some useless problem or subject. At the moment, Ash and my siblings were sitting at my table, including Wrex, Tali and Liara. I couldn't help but see Ayldrik's and Ashley's not-so-subtle closeness, so I figured the dork had confessed to her or she had confronted him. Whatever the case, it didn't seem to apply to Kareck and Tali: they were sitting closer than usual, but there was something about them that told me Kareck had said nothing. Perhaps he was also worried over the future of things, seeing as how he knew Tali would be going back to the Flotilla after we took care of Saren.

"What's up Rae?" I blinked, pausing for a moment as I processed just what whoever behind me addressed me as. No one had ever really called me that before. Turning around, I saw a smiling Shep-… ah… Aerin. I still wasn't used to it and I doubted I would be soon. I chose to think of her as Shepard for the time being until I got used to verbally calling her by her first name.

"Uh…" my mind went blank again and I realized by the heavy silence that everyone was staring on in disbelief. "Nothing much…" I mumbled, watching as she sat down at my side.

I idly wondered why no one had sat there, but when there was obvious shock in the crew around us, I figured they had done that to see what Shepard would do or something. That made sense, seeing as how the chair beside of me had been pushed to mine so they'd make something more of a small bench than two chairs. I practically held my breath when Shepard's arm brushed against mine and rested there as she began eating. We were so close that our thighs and upper arms were pressed against each other- I could even feel her body heat coming off of her.

Slowly, conversation flooded back to the mess hall and everyone returned to what they had originally been doing. I blinked, hard, and tried to clear my head before returning to my breakfast. Ciria was in my lap, eating a dried slab of meat (it was good for her teeth and gums since her adult teeth were beginning to give her trouble) and paying little attention to the situation. The small Ulaeviel soon noticed Shepard's lap next to mine and she laid down, stretching out across the both of our laps as she continued eating. Shepard's subtle smile as she kept eating told me she at least wasn't bothered by it, and nor was I, since Ciria was now eating, quite sloppily, on her pants instead of mine.

"_Sorry to interrupt Commander, but we have confirmation on that fleet to deal with Saren and his Geth." _Joker's voice sounded through the comm, interrupting the relative peacefulness of the moment. I was inwardly thankful since he spared me from dealing with everyone else, even if inadvertently.

We all shared a look of confusion mixed with unsuspecting welcome. I knew what would happen, but I might as well let them go since it would allow for several obvious things. Besides, I wanted to advance through an at least similar timeline to what the games were, if only to know what would happen next- if I changed too much then my 'precognition' would be less accurate. Not to mention I wasn't a fan of being in the dark about something at all.

"Rae?" Shepard asked, looking to me shortly as everyone began to talk of the possibilities. I shrugged, refusing to really look at her as I took another bite of food.

"We might as well. Udina will get a much deserved punch to the face." I said, getting a chuckle from her and a few of the others.

Once we were done with breakfast we left the mess, Ciria at my side, Shepard at my other, and piled into the elevator. Someone hit the button for the second deck, and after a torturously long ride, we got there and exited, heading up the stairs.

Shepard told joker to set a course once the both of us reached the cockpit. The others had decided to go about their days regularly, with their respective Ulaeviel partners of course. Shepard decided she was going to drag me around until we got to the Citadel, too, saying we needed to plan on what to do once we got there. The whole planning thing got me thinking on bigger problems I'd have down the road, unfortunately.

I didn't even know what I was going to do for the impending attack from the Collectors. There were things that happened because of it that I'd have liked to change, but there were just some things that happened, lives that changed for the better as well, that I couldn't change- or shouldn't. I cared about Shepard, of course, but was my purpose to make sure these things happened, or to change them for the better?

Even if it was the latter, I didn't know what I could do to achieve that goal.

…

"It's just politics, Commander, I'm sure you understand." Udina sneered subtly, really pissing me off. I was with Shepard and Ashley at the moment, at the meeting with the Council. I was having a hard time trying to keep calm, especially since they hadn't listened to complete reason and logic.

"Are you insane? After all I've done, you still don't believe me?" Shepard demanded, her tone the closest thing to actual anger I've heard from her. Although I knew we were going to get away anyway, I felt my eyes begin to turn. I always was the protective and territorial type, so when Shepard was getting a figurative slap in the face from the Council, I undoubtedly felt a surge of annoyance and anger.

"We've locked out the Normandy's systems, Commander, you are no longer needed. The Council can handle this, with my help, of course." He almost purred, the condescending tone grating on my nerves almost enough to make my teeth shift. "Good day." He said, effectively dismissing us.

I clenched my jaw and led the way out of the tower, all the while feeling someone's eyes on me. Most likely Shepard. Either way, once we were outside, she gripped my arm and pulled me around so we were face-to-face.

"What was that in there?" she asked, a little forcefully. I could understand her ire, but losing your cool over it wouldn't help anything.

"It's alright, Shepard. We're going to get out of here we just need to wait for Anderson to send us that message." I said calmly, getting her to sigh, visibly relaxing. She ran a hand through her hair and glanced around, calming herself down. I took a breath to get my Bloodrage away, and I shifted back.

"Okay, but what message?" she asked. I smirked a bit at the relative irony of the fact, but sobered.

"He'll tell us to meet him in Flux later, but right now, we just have to bide our time." She nodded in understanding, and we left.

…

"It just isn't fair." Shepard muttered to herself, not noticing I was in the room. She was crouched in front of her locker by the med-bay and I was walking up to her. My naturally quiet walk was great for sneaking, but when I didn't want to startle someone it wasn't the best thing to have.

"Maybe not." I said quietly, causing her to whip around. When she saw it was me she relaxed and slammed her back against the locker, sliding down to the floor. "But that's just how it is. I'm as pissed as you, and the Council does undoubtedly have their collective heads up their asses…" I continued, getting a rueful chuckle from her.  
>"But right now, all that matters is us getting to Ilos to stop Saren." I finished with a small encouraging smile, holding out my hand for her.<p>

She sighed, but returned my smile and took my hand. I went to pull her up but she used her own leverage on me and ended up bumping into me. Our hands were still clasped and her other was on my shoulder, holding firmly, while my other hand was resting on her waist.

As if subconsciously, we drew together, and I couldn't stop my own body as the two of us pressed closer.

Her body heat warmed me even on the inside as her scent surrounded me. I breathed shallowly, feeling my eyes slowly droop, going half-lidded. Shepard's own short breath softly caressed my face as we drew even closer, her eyes taking me in. my heart began to thump loudly against my chest, taking even more of my breath from me, the feeling almost painful.

We had already drawn so close that we were breathing each other's air, our lips barely inches apart. The panic in my brain became little more than background noise as Shepard released my hand and wrapped her arm around my waist. She pulled me as close as was possible without our lips meeting, even as near as we were already.

Her eyes went to close then as she moved forward slightly, even as something seemed to hold her back. My own body was in conflict itself though I still held Shepard's waist a little tighter.

Suddenly, the comm crackled and Joker's voice sounded over it. _"Sorry to interrupt Commander, but Anderson just left us a message. He wants you to get to Flux_." He said, his tone suggesting he hadn't actually been watching.

The moment was officially ruined.

I moved to walk away then, but still, Shepard kept her hold on me. Her hand on my shoulder went to my cheek and turned my face to look at hers. As I saw into her eyes, I couldn't believe the amount of affection- maybe even love- that I saw in their depths. I clenched my jaw, finding a lump in my throat.

"I don't want to let go of you…" she muttered softly, her voice pulling at me. I let her see the sadness and confliction in my eyes completely then, not wanting to be there yet still wanting- almost needing- to stay in her arms.

"We're too close to Saren to get distracted, Shepard…" I replied quietly. Shepard looked away then and clenched her jaw tightly. I could see she was struggling to control herself as I was myself, but her almost hurting eyes stabbed my heart with guilt. I was doing this to her…

Ever so slowly, I raised my hand and brushed against Shepard's cheek, urging her to look back at me. She did so moments later, making her emotional strain all the more clear when we locked gazes.

"But I can promise you we'll talk soon, okay? Not even three days to go." I tried a smile but it only ended up coming off as a desperate attempt to comfort Shepard. She took a breath and nodded, visibly standing a little straighter.

"I'll hold you to that." She said calmly, smirking only a tiny amount.

I could only give an almost imperceptible nod before slipping out of Shepard's grasp and hurrying away.

**A/N: this chapter was almost sad, now that I think about it. I can't help but think I almost got some of you into thinking they were seriously going to kiss for a moment there…**

**I HAVE A POLL ON MY PROFILE; IF YOU DON'T VOTE I WILL NOT ALLOW RAEGAS TO CONFESS TO SHEPARD AT ALL!**


	37. Desicions

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I only have whatever I made or make. Whatever.**

**Liege Lord: Yeah I want to get to the second game as well, and don't worry we only have a few chapters to go for this one.**

**BAMS: Yep. Should be interesting to see.**

**Kachie Takahashi: Blackmail? Who ever said anything about blackmail? I meant only to get you all to vote- just like a politician would say something on purpose to get a response from the people, right? Anyway, I'm sorry for being mean. And how could I not include the locker scene? Geez, what do you take me for? DX And what do you mean by serious serious hopes? I can tell you that if it does in fact happen I may be forced (literally; my friends have been threatening me) to write some… stuff. Yeah, we'll just call it that. ;) (Of course I'm going to write the sequel)**

**Hopelessly Blue: I didn't mean to blackmail you, as I already told Kachie, but really: what else was I supposed to do to get people's opinions? You know they're too lazy to review- I was just doing this for the good of the fic. And I'm not mean! *pouts* At least you don't hate me though, I was worried. But then, I like you too much so it made sense for me to be worried right? Anyway, 'honey muffin'? I can't get past that. I might as well just address you as 'sweetcheeks' from now on if you're going to call me that. *smirks in challenging way* 'Til next time, sweetcheeks.**

We had escaped from the Citadel relatively easily, considering what we've gone through previously. It was around ten at night and we'd arrive to Ilos sometime in the morning. I hadn't really been listening because of my thoughts.

I had been thinking about the end, the destruction of the Normandy, what would happen between those two years, what I would do or change… so many things were going through my head, but I still couldn't make up my mind on what to do about Shepard's death. Even if I knew she wouldn't be killed permanently, just the thought of her dying sent a shudder through my body and my stomach to twist in knots, let alone the way she died- or will, at the moment…

"Damnit…!" I muttered, clutching my stomach. I wasn't coping well with this, and it wasn't going to get any easier. I felt guilty about everything that would happen and for me not saying anything, even if I had little power over them. The problem was, I could stop Shepard's death somehow. I could tell them there was a trap or…

Why wasn't I telling them? Maybe I was afraid of what I would change. I didn't know which option would make anything easier later on, and that was extremely chafing. I guess I had just gotten used to knowing everything.

I didn't know what I would do then, but I had time. Not much, but still. I needed some time to figure all of this out and see what I really could change. Whatever would happen later it was possible I wouldn't even survive the battle at Ilos or the battle with Sovereign. If I did die, then this could be the last time I could be with Shepard at all.

Did I really want what I was thinking of, though? Yes, as bad as it was. Did Shepard want it? I wasn't sure. Was I willing to risk it? If only to tell her how I felt for the first and potentially last time.

With my mind made up, I left the CC. Ciria was already taking a snooze in my chair, so I didn't need to worry about that. I pushed the button for the second deck and the doors closed. My heart was beating against my chest almost in anticipation or even fear; after all, I was putting myself on a thin branch here.

Pushing the metaphor from my mind, I stepped out of the elevator and surveyed my surroundings. It was empty and only the emergency lights were on, so I figured everyone went to get an early day's rest. I slowly walked along the small path leading to Shepard's quarters.

But once I was there I froze.

I'd never done anything like this before and I had only been 'aware' of Shepard for a small while. Not to mention she could very well have no idea I liked her in return.

"Fuck it." I whispered, opening the door.

I couldn't change everything and whatever may happen in the future… I wasn't going to worry over it when I could do something now.

**A/N: Sorry it's so short and all but I have a good reason. And this is a big step for Raegas, you should be happy she's accepted this stuff and all!**

**ONE MORE ****EXTREMELY**** IMPORTANT POLL TO GO EVERYONE! VOTE OR SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN! It's on my profile now.**


	38. CAUTION: Love contained within

**Disclaimer: I only own all of the stuff or people that I make myself and such, blah, blah, blah. You get it.**

**BAMS: I wonder too buddy. I suppose you'll get to see soon, eh?**

**Kachie Takahashi: Is that so, Kachie? I guess it'll be a good thing to hurry up and update, huh? Oh wait. I already have. ;)**

**Hopelessly Blue: I'd have thought you would know me well enough by now to know I wouldn't just make Raegas do something as important as confessing to Shepard in one go. Still, I'm glad you're all excited and all; it ought to be more fun that way when the good stuff actually happens, right? Putting that aside; 'sugar booger'? I didn't mean to tell you to call me by humiliating pet names-as fun as that may be- when I challenged you. I meant-… you know what? Nevermind. Bring it on, snugglelump! o**

**Liege Lord: I suppose you'll see won't you? ;)**

**A/N: Sorry for the polling and such lately everyone, but I wanted your opinions. You can guess which choice won, huh? Perverts.**

"Fuck it." I whispered, opening the door. Shepard was at her console, probably looking over the information I'd given her. She looked over to me when I came in, and gave me a welcoming smile. The gesture caused a fluttering in my chest, but I tamped it down. I was just going to tell her. Yeah. Easy. No problem at all…  
>"Shepard, I just can't do this anymore." I stated, seeing her eyes flash in response. I had caught her off-guard, that was for sure.<p>

"What do you mean?" she asked, reserving judgment.

"Look: I've been trying to keep myself from becoming too close to you the entire time I've known you. I have my reasons for that and I-"

"Rae, what- are you telling me what I think you are?" she asked in disbelief, cutting me off.

"Just-… Something bad happens, okay? Something… very, very bad. I can't tell you just what but it's the entire reason I haven't really been very nice to you and all. It's just… I was too afraid of myself trying to change it that I couldn't-"

"Couldn't what?" she was certainly getting agitated now. I could understand, given she probably thought I was about to reject her.

"I couldn't allow myself to be your friend or anything more than a proverbial crystal ball, Shepard. By now, that's obviously flown out the window- I shouldn't even be here right now, and I-"

"Why won't you just tell me what's wrong? If you shouldn't be here then why are you? After everything we've accomplished you still don't trust me enough to even just say what's on your mind?" she demanded, a myriad of emotions rolling off of her.

"That's not the issue here!" I shot back.

"Then what is? From my point of view, it seems to me like you're saying you don't or can't be with me at all!" she returned.

"Would you just listen to me?" I asked rhetorically, letting my tone rise just a little. Shepard was already raising her voice, but more out of desperation than anger.

"Not if you're going to tell me these things, Raegas! I can't even believe you would string me along like this just to say it was for nothing!"

"It wasn't for nothing-!"

"Then what was it for? To get me to listen to you? Were you feeling too sorry for me that you couldn't tell me the truth?"

"Goddammit Shepard! I don't feel sorry for you!"

"Then what was it? Why are you telling me we can't even just be friends? You know I care for you- hell, I think I even love you!" she demanded, causing a stab to resonate in my chest. I could see the truth in her watery eyes and it actually hurt.

"You're right, Shepard; we can't be friends." I stated. She clenched her teeth and looked down for a few moments. Soon, she returned her gaze to me and stepped forward.

"Why, Raegas? Can't you just tell me that before-" I had had enough. In one movement, I stepped forward, cupped Shepard's face in my hands and pressed my lips to hers.

Instantly, electricity scorched through my body and sent shivers down my spine. Shepard was almost completely frozen in shock, unknowing of what was going on anymore.

Soon, I pulled back and looked her dead in the eye.

"I was trying to tell you we can't be friends… because I love you too much to be nothing more than that." I muttered, feeling my stomach fill with butterflies as my heart pounded against my chest like a sledgehammer.

"Rae…?" she whispered. Her eyes began to water and I smiled, teeth and all. Her gobsmacked expression made sense, given I just told her what she'd thought was impossible and I smiled the first real smile I'd had since before waking up on the Normandy.

"I love you Aerin." I whispered once more, voicing the resounding message my heart couldn't stop repeating. Shepard immediately smiled as wide as humanly possible, the brightness of it almost blinding. My entire chest almost fluttered in excitement as I saw into the depths of her eyes.

"Stay with me tonight?" she asked, somewhat shyly. The request made my heart soar. I pulled back enough to look her in the eyes, my own smile no doubt shining.

Wordlessly, I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Shepard's lips. Almost instantly it turned into a deep, passionate exchange, leaving me breathless. Shepard's hands slipped under my shirt, holding me to her tightly as she ran them up and down my back. I slipped my hands into her thick, messy hair, reveling in the feel of the soft strands against my skin. Shepard pulled me into her, her hips grinding against mine slightly. I unconsciously steered us to Shepard's bed and wrapped an arm around her waist, lowering her onto the bed slowly, never losing any contact.

She wrapped her legs around my hips, pulling me on top of her. I ran my hand down the length of her body and stopped at her lower stomach, slipping my hand under her shirt. She returned hers to the bottom of my back and slipped the shirt over my head quickly, causing us to break apart momentarily. As she feasted her eyes on my torso, no doubt finding the tattoo around my belly-button fascinating, I gripped her shirt and pulled it over her head, along with her bra. That caught her attention. She gazed up at me and smirked at my coy smile, pulling me back down atop her. She pulled my bra off quickly, but before she could do anything more, I gripped her arms, firmly yet gently, and pushed them above her head, entangling our fingers together.

I leaned down and kissed at her neck, sucking gently to ensure no hickeys would be made, causing Shepard to moan quietly in pleasure. She scraped her nails across my back, making small shivers run up my spine. I slowly made my way down her neck, then her chest and finally between the valley of her breasts, all the while kissing lightly. I moved my hand up her firm stomach to cup her breast and used my thumb to lightly flick at the raised nipple, making her moan again. I licked the underside of her other breast, then moved up with my mouth to capture the swollen nipple within it. I sucked on it hard once, getting a loud moan from my Commander, and then kissed it. I then moved to give her other breast the same attention, my other hand replacing my mouth as I did so.

Shepard's deft hands moved down my body and took my belt, easily sliding it from my hips. She quickly unbuttoned my trousers and began pulling them down as my feet kicked off my boots. I moved back to Shepard's other breast and began suckling on it, causing her to moan once more. She scraped at my back once more, but then wrapped her arms around my waist, flipping us over so she was on top. I released her breast and quickly removed her trousers and undergarments, revealing her entirely.

She leaned down and captured my lips with her own, sucking at my lower lip gently. I groaned a bit in response and opened my mouth to her. Her tongue plunged in and her hands moved over my body, almost reverently, stopping at the top of my undergarments. She practically ripped them off of me; no doubt growing more rushed as time passed. I wrapped my arm around her waist as she had mine, and flipped us over once again. I gave her a last kiss before moving down her body slowly, reveling in the feel of her smooth skin against mine.

As I moved lower, I placed light kisses along her torso, my hand running along her thigh. I glanced up to see her urgent expression, and smiled softly, finally reaching between her legs. I placed a kiss over her mound, but moved away as she pushed up, trying to get the friction she needed. I wrapped an arm around her thigh, still running my hand along it, and leaned my head down once more.

I ran my tongue along her opening, loving the taste of her. She was surprisingly wet, as I was, her body giving off tons of heat as I gave her one more long lick at the very entrance. She again tried to push down, but I moved with her, not wanting to give her that fiction just yet. She groaned, something between pleasure and annoyance, her husky voice sending vibrations throughout my body.

After one last long swipe of the tongue, I pushed my lips to her clit, sucking it into my mouth, sealing it in. The sudden movement made Shepard's breath catch for a moment. As I sucked harder and slower though, she moaned and pushed down on me once more. I gave her leverage to do so and stayed in place, savoring the taste and smell of her.

"Rae…gas…!" she managed breathlessly, plunging her hands into my hair. Knowing what she wanted, I gave her clit one last, long, hard suck, causing her to moan loudly, before I moved down slightly. I first licked her entrance, then plunged in, hard and fast. Her breath hitched again, and her hold in my hair tightened as I swirled and speared, sucking on her entrance slightly.

I moved back to her clit soon, once again stealing it into my mouth as my hand moved toward her entrance. Her hips were grinding against me hard, seeking friction, and soon, I gave it to her. My hand made it to her entrance and slipped in through her soft folds, plunging deep. She gasped and began to move her hips in rhythm to my movements.

It didn't take long for her movements to grow sporadic and rushed, her hips grinding down on me with urgency. I continued in my ministrations, but turned my fingers upward. I curled them inside of her, knowing the sweet spot, and hitting it. She cried out in pleasure and I suckled harder and faster on her clit, rubbing against her sweet spot with my fingers.  
>Immediately, she came, hard, the spasms wracking her body as she sped her movements as I did. I made sure to keep up my ministrations to prolong her orgasm as long as possible, taking all of her juices into my mouth. As she slowed down, I did as well, helping to bring her down softly from her high. I removed my fingers from her, causing her to jerk slightly, and kissed her mound once more before dragging my body along hers, coming back up to her face. I hovered above her for a moment, letting her catch her breath before relaxing atop her body and pressing a kiss to her jaw.<p>

Her arms came up and ran along my back as she opened her eyes to regard me. She looked a little surprised, but I definitely saw desire there as well. I gave her an innocent smile and pressed our lips together for a gentle yet passionate exchange. Her hands plunged into my hair once more, holding me to her tightly. Once we had to break for air, I laid my head on her chest, reveling in the fast, strong beat of Shepard's heart.

"How… in the… hell… did you… know… what to do?" she muttered between breaths, holding me to her. I smiled to myself and nuzzled her neck.

"I just did what felt right. Was that okay?" I asked, not wanting to have failed somehow. Shepard's hand came up to cup my face, and she pulled me up a bit to look her in the eye. So much affection and love was contained in those deep emerald eyes that I found myself smiling as well.

"You were perfect, babe." She said, pulling me down for another kiss. "Now, where were we?" she muttered coyly once we parted.

**A/N: There! Are you beasts happy now? I can't believe you made me write such things; my writer's spirit cannot un-see what it I have written! o**

**But tell me; did you like? 'Cause if you didn't then I will hunt you down and gut you like a pig! … Jk**


	39. Skip A Few Things

**Disclaimer: I only own my OCs and such. What, were you looking for something funny up here? Too bad.**

**Liege Lord: I really hope you liked the update because I actually worked hard to be all… I don't know! I just worked hard to write something good for you guys! Geez… Putting that aside; I see you've got some interesting ideas there Lordy. I wonder if any of them will really happen.**

**Kachie Takahashi: Well at least someone liked the chapter… I'm happy to hear it Kachie. Thanks for the compliment as well, it made me feel good myself. ;)**

**Kaiya Smith: I'm sorry! It wasn't my idea to write it but then my friend came up behind me and demanded for me to add the choice. Blame the lesbians! (It's funny 'cause I'm one too) XD**

**Hopelessly Blue: I'm happy to hear you liked it; I actually tried writing something you and all the other pervs would like. And for the record it wasn't my idea to give the 'explicit love scene' option (because I'm not perverted like **_**some**_** people XP). And yes, finally. I was even starting to tell myself to hurry my ass up and get to the good stuff. And haven't I already laughed in the face of canon? Not to mean I don't think it's a good idea. Putting all that aside… I'm glad you decided not to call me something as mean as 'sugar booger' again. It made my own day and all, Angel Eyes.**

**Umbra8191: I'm glad you like! ;)**

I awoke slowly, a smile plastered firmly on my face and a feeling of intense… joy… overwhelming me. I knew this wasn't what I was supposed to be doing, but at that moment, I found myself not caring in the least. All I was thinking about was Shepard and what had happened not a few hours before.

I opened my eyes and saw that Shepard was snuggled into me, the two of us tangled with each other. My hands came up to cover the back and side of her head, protecting her from the coldness of the A/C. I knew the both of us liked it cold rather than hot, but for some reason it felt colder than usual. It was probably because we were still a little damp from the night before so the drying sweat made our skin colder than it should've been- well, the parts of the skin that were exposed, anyway.

Since Shepard's face was firmly embedded in my chest, I figured she was still asleep. Her breath came in long, even breaths, showing that, at least, she didn't have any nightmares as I had. I found it a strange, yet not unwelcome fact that when I slept with Shepard, I didn't have any nightmares whatsoever. It was a nice reprieve for me.

I was still for a while, simply letting myself relax, closing my eyes once more. I took a deep breath and let it out, content in listening to Shepard's quiet breathing. I would've liked for this to be forever but you know good things never last. Not when you're me.  
>Either way, I felt Shepard stir in the middle of my brooding, her grip on me tightening possessively. I smiled to myself and kissed the top of her head in response so she could know I was awake as well.<p>

"That was amazzziiinnngggg…!" she groaned happily, squirming up to meet me eye-to-eye. We were both smiling like fools, and the odd part was, I didn't care. I was too happy to care about anything but Shepard at the moment.

"Mmm, I agree…" I drawled, giving her forehead a kiss. Shepard chuckled quietly as I did so, then kissed me right on the lips in return. Even in my state I felt that same electricity flow through me when we touched. The feeling, and Shepard herself, was intoxicating at the very least.

"And, I _finally_ got to discover a difference between our two species, appearance wise…" she mumbled triumphantly, her hand sliding up my body to come to a rest on the side of my face. I hummed in response and began fiddling with her hair.

"Is that so?" I hummed, to which she gave me a hum of approval. She moved her hand to my ear and began pulling at it playfully, finding a great deal of amusement from it, apparently, seeing as how she wouldn't stop smirking like a fool.

"You just noticed?" I asked, a little surprised that she only just discovered the difference between our ears.

"Your hair always covered them!" she argued, managing to look indignant. I chuckled. "Oh, you should show them off more. I love your ears, they're so cute." She cooed, still pulling at them. I moved one of my hands from her head and gripped hers, pulling it from my ear. She breathed in sharply at our hands' contact, and encased it in both of hers quickly.  
>"Why're your hands so cold?" she asked worriedly, rubbing them between her palms to warm them up.<p>

"I was protecting you from the A/C; it's colder in here than it should be." I answered, albeit a bit shyly. She looked back to me and smiled softly, leaning forward. We shared a gentle, smoldering kiss that seemed to last for ages before we had to break apart.

"You're so sweet." She muttered, caressing my cheek with the tips of her fingers. I didn't think of myself that way, but I chose to simply believe in Shepard and not say anything instead of going on a rant on how much I hated myself. "But really, why are your ears pointy?" she asked curiously, a small smile on her face. I chuckled at her childishness and wrapped my arms around her once more.

"That question would yield the same result of me asking why your ears are round." I answered, getting a crestfallen frown from her. The look made me smile lightly and more openly. I had missed this feeling. She seemed to understand this as well and returned to smiling flippantly as she wrapped her arms around me once more.

"Alright, then. Still, I'd like you to show them off more often." She sighed dramatically, giving me a practiced puppy-eyes look. I stared at her for a few moments, trying to stay strong against that adorable look, but found myself caving in. Hard to believe even Commander Shepard could look so cute, but she pulled it off well.

"… Fine…" I sighed, giving up. Besides, it wasn't as if showing my ears off would kill me. Shepard smiled brightly in response and pulled me into a loving embrace. I returned the favor and nuzzled her neck, reveling in the contact.

"_Five minutes to the Mu Relay, Commander." _Joker's voice sounded through the comm, ruining the moment. We parted soon after, a frown on Shepard's face.

"I'm going to maul him later." She stated, obviously annoyed at the interruption. I smirked and leaned forward, giving her a quick kiss before sitting up. The covers slipped from my upper body, letting the cold air rush at my damp skin. It caused a strong shudder to run through my body, and almost instantly, I was in Shepard's warm embrace.

"I don't want to get up either, but we have to go and save the galaxy." I replied to her earlier comment, leaning into her comfortably. As she took a breath, I let my head rest on her shoulder; I was still a little drained from everything that had been going on.

"Yeah, I know. As soon as this is over, we're so getting more than a week of shore leave." She stated, making me remember what happens after Saren. Well, at least I still had a little more than a month and a half to figure out what the hell I was going to do.

As the two of us stood from the bed, we started getting dressed. I'd managed to get my undergarments and bra on while Shepard was stuck on finding her bra. As I pulled my pants on, I tripped over her bra on the floor and landed on my back. Shepard came over to see if I was okay, then grabbed her bra and threw it on. I picked my shirt up from the ground and straightened just in time to see Ciria walked in through the door. It closed behind her and she lazily plopped herself down by the wall, waiting for the two of us to get ready. Shepard and I finally finished getting all of our clothes a few seconds later, then before she could walk out of the door, I stopped her.

"Wait a minute Shep, your hair's all messed up." I mumbled, moving in front of her and beginning to straighten it out. She blew out a small chuckle and fixed mine as well, but it was a lot more manageable than Shepard's was. Hers always had been messy, and I liked it, but it stuck out everywhere, unlike mine.

"Rae?" she asked. I was originally a bit shocked at her nickname for me, but I liked it. It had sent a spike of almost giddiness to ramp up my spine, but I squashed it down as I messed with her hair.

"Yes Aerin?" I responded. She took my hands from her hair, holding them to her chest, almost protectively. I was a little confused, but I waited for her to speak.

"I… love you." She said, looking me straight in the eye. Shockwaves shot through my body as my eyes widened slightly and my mouth fell open. My heart went into overdrive and my blood roared in my ears as I stared back at her, my expression blank. Did she really just…?

Tears welled up in my eyes and spilled over, leaving hot tracks down my face. Sure, she said it once before, but not so… intensely and honestly. Shepard suddenly seemed worried and afraid, but before she could say anything, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me. My lips crashed onto hers, catching her off-guard, even as her arms came around my neck instinctively. As she regained herself, she responded passionately, pulling me closer to her.

Soon, we had to part for air and our foreheads bumped into each other. As we caught our breath, I found myself smiling- truly and honestly. I looked deep into Shepard's eyes and saw nothing but love and affection in their emerald depths. I pulled back enough to look her in the eye properly, but kept my arms around her, as she did me.

"I know that dummy." I muttered, finding myself shy. She cupped my cheek in her palm and caressed it with her thumb, smiling softly.

"Of course." She answered back. She kissed me softly on the forehead then, causing me to blush lightly.

I felt a nudge on my leg and looked down to see Ciria. She had a look of happiness in her eyes as well as she looked up at the two of us. Shepard and I both patted her head before turning back to each other. Shepard enveloped me into a loving embrace, pulling me as close as possible. I still wasn't used to all of my emotions or how I felt, but… I could certainly try to enjoy it in the meantime.

"Come on. We're due up on the bridge." I said, not really wanting to ruin the moment. Shepard let go of me and we left quickly, our hands clasped tightly, Ciria at my side.

…

"How are we supposed to get through that?" Ash asked, staring at the large stone door in between us and Saren. Shepard sighed quietly and rested her hands on her hips. I activated my cannon and pulled up a screen, just as Jasin did. Liara turned to her and watched as she ran through diagnostics and such as Shepard watched me do the same.

A few moments later, my screen flashed, telling me I'd just set up a new 'ability' it could use. Jasin's flashed as well and we looked to each other. Our eyes flashed, a bit maniacally, and we stepped up to the door. I felt it with my hand and knocked against it momentarily as Jasin activated her cannon's new power beam. We stepped back and I activated mine as well.

"What are you two doing? We need to find a security override to get through the door before Saren gets away, not stand around!" Ash stated, crossing her arms. I glanced up at her before returning my gaze to my cannon. Jasin and I placed ours against each other and they instantly locked together, beginning the sequence to sync with each other.

"Perhaps… standing around is just what we need." I said distractedly, powering up my cannon as Jasin did hers.

"What are you going to do?" Shepard asked. I smirked at her and Jasin and I raised our arms to point at the stone door.

"Skip a few things." I answered. The charging of our cannons began to cause them to vibrate and move around from the sheer power they were accumulating. Soon, they were full up and we tensed, bracing ourselves for the blast.

We let loose our fused chaos beams on the door, sending the spiraling energy to shoot out of our cannons, throwing us to the ground in the process, and shoot into the stone door. As it hit, it completely disintegrated the door and any Geth behind it.

Our cannons deactivated and released each other as Jasin and I groaned, dizzy from the impact it had on our bodies. Good thing we were wearing armor.

I opened my eyes to see Shepard kneeling down beside of me, Liara and Waru by Jasin. Shepard pulled me up and I shook my head a bit to get the dizziness to go away before standing. Jasin stood as well, with the help of Liara and we all headed into the mako to catch up to Saren.

…

"This could get rough…" Ash muttered as we all looked on the dozens of Geth armatures guarding the Conduit. I narrowed my eyes and looked to Shepard. I'd stolen the driver's seat from her earlier so we could get straight to the Conduit after talking to Vigil. It wasn't hard to prove I was a better driver than Shepard, but then again, she always was best at finding her way up the side of a mountain. I was best at weaving and tact, mobile battle.

"Let's go." She said. I smirked grimly and punched the accelerator, sending the mako flying down the ramp. I weaved through the armatures and dodged their missiles, going straight for the Conduit. Everyone was freaking out except for me and Shepard, yelling slanderous words at my sharp turns.

I dodged through the last of the juggernauts and armatures, revving up the ramp to the Conduit.

"Fuck no; we are not going to jump through a fucking ma-!" Ash's screaming was drowned out as we were pulled into the Conduit and shot through.

…

The mako shook violently as we were shot through space, the force of it throwing me around in my seat, along with everyone else. I clenched my teeth together and tensed myself, bracing my head against the seat's headrest in an effort to lessen the painful turbulence. I supposed this was what it really felt like without stabilizers to fly across space faster than the speed of light, huh?

I could almost feel my brain juggling around in my skull as my hand somehow found Shepard's as it flew around from the force. Our hands gripped each other instantly and our fingers entwined, holding tightly. My eyes were screwed shut and I waited for this new nightmare to end. I still wasn't sure if we were going to survive, and this 'ride' felt like it was taking forever.

Suddenly, I felt a sense of vertigo overtake me as a powerful jolt hit the mako, pulling me to slam against my seat's straps. Consequently, it caused them to break and I went flying through the window at the front of the mako as it fell through the Conduit on the Citadel. I smashed against the far wall an instant before the mako followed me, crushing me further into it.

Darkness took me as pain exploded all over my body.

**A/N: looks like it's all gone to hell again, everyone. I hope everyone'll be alright…**


	40. Final Battle

**Disclaimer: sure, whatever you say, I only own my OCs and stuff. No biggie. Sort of.**

**Reko-Luna: Um… thanks. -_- I'm guessing you were too tired to type anything more or something? ^.-**

**Liege Lord: I know I should have written in the part with Vigil but I was pressed on time and I guess it just didn't make its way into my memory for a moment. And yeah, I totally agree; if Raegas doesn't say anything about the Normandy's destruction Shepard will be pissed when the time comes, eh? Let's hope it doesn't work out that way.**

**Kachie Takahashi: please don't cry, Kachie! I don't want that to happen either but you never know what may happen, right? …Right? ;-;**

**Umbra8191: I feel you may need some variation in your life, friend. Even so, thank you for the review.**

**Hopelessly Blue: Han Solo will have to wait, HB. Besides, Raegas can utilize such moves later on, when she's more comfortable with herself and their relationship, right? And really; 'snuggly bunny'? You having some fantasies there, babycakes? XP**

**A/N: This ought to be the next to last chapter, everyone! I wonder just what will happen. ;)**

Shepard opened her eyes once the mako finally stopped, and glanced around with dizzy eyes to take in the situation. The driver's seat was empty, where Raegas had been only minutes before, but everyone else was alright, if shaken up.

Shepard hurriedly struggled against her straps to release herself from the seat, adrenaline overtaking her; where was Raegas?

She rushed to the back of the mako and didn't see her there. Everyone looked shaken, but alright, so Shepard jumped out of the mako, her eyes frantically searching for her love. As Shepard couldn't find her anywhere, she felt a spike of dread run up her spine as she turned back to the mako. She slowly approached the front of its crushed nose, seeing a spot of white.

As she drew closer, she saw a hand- Raegas' hand! Shepard shot forward and struggled against the weight of the mako, trying to move it off of the unmoving Raegas. As everyone took in the situation, they joined in her struggle.

Soon, the vehicle was moved just enough to show Raegas' arm and shoulder, along with a part of her head. Shepard jumped forward and gripped her arm, pulling her free. Once Raegas was free, Shepard fell down, holding her to herself, desperately searching for a pulse.

None came.

Shepard's eyes threatened to overflow, but she didn't allow it. A sudden uncontrollable wave of rage swept through Shepard as she clung to Raegas' broken form, clenching her teeth. No one spoke, and some moved forward to scout slightly ahead to give the Commander and Jasin room. Her breath came in silent gasps as a lump formed in her throat and she struggled to control herself.

"I should've been the one…!" she muttered, screwing her eyes shut. She should've been in that seat! Her straps should've torn! She didn't want to be alone- not again! Not after she finally knew Raegas' true feelings…!

Shepard forced herself to withdraw into her 'Commander Mode', unwilling to break down. Not when she was so close. Raegas wouldn't want her to be like this either. Jasin laid her hands on Raegas' stomach, keeping herself as controlled as possible. Waru whined as she bowed her head for a few moments, nuzzling the Vertoakan's neck.

"We need to go. Saren needs to die; for Raegas!" Shepard looked up at Jasin's hoarse and duo-toned voice to see her eyes and teeth were changed as well.

Shepard gently laid Raegas' broken body down, swallowing hard. She cupped her cold cheek gently and leaned down. She pressed one final kiss to Raegas' bloody lips, a single tear escaping her eyes as she did so.

Wordlessly, they all moved into the elevator and pressed the button to head to the Citadel tower. By the time they met up with the Geth, they stood no chance. Jasin and Waru tore through them all like butter, and Shepard decimated all who stood in her path.

It wasn't long before they stood before Saren, the traitor himself. Shepard, even through her rage, knew Raegas would want her to control herself. She would want her to be strong. Shepard even tried to get Saren to fight the indoctrination inside if himself, but she knew only Raegas could truly free him of it.

She couldn't help the empty satisfaction and disappointment she felt as Saren shot himself and fell through the glass under him.

"Make sure he's dead." She said over her shoulder, walking to the edge of the platform and looking down at the Turian's broken body. A flash of Raegas' broken body haunted her eyes, already burned into her mind.

Shepard shut her eyes, feeling the loss start to bear down on her, tearing at her heart. She wasn't sure when she'd become so dependent on Raegas, but it didn't matter now. Nothing mattered now.

…

"Send in the fleet and save the Destiny Ascension. I'm opening the Citadel now." Shepard ordered Joker, knowing it was the right choice to make.

Joker sent in the affirmative, but before she could respond or cut the connection herself, the platform gave out under her feet. Everyone fell through to the under-garden below the Council chambers, but weren't injured.

Suddenly, Saren's body began twitching and convulsing uncontrollably, Sovereign's red energy discharging all across his body. As his body transformed into a monstrous puppet, Shepard and the others jumped up. He jumped around like a Geth stalker, dodging bullets and grenades with relative ease, all the while shooting lasers at the group.

Shepard had had a feeling Saren's resurrection at the hands of Sovereign would've been much worse were it not for Jasin and Waru. They had leapt at him and cornered him with a savage grace the likes of which the Commander had never seen.

Waru had slammed the reanimated Saren into the far wall and held him down with locked teeth around his neck. Jasin had approached in her Bloodrage, different from Raegas' from lack of the Corruption, as Shepard fired on the reanimate corpse, and threw a fist into his skull. She had used a chaos beam on him even, and disintegrated whatever would've been left after Saren's second death.

Shepard then knew just how severe a hole Raegas had already left. She was dead and she wouldn't come back.

Minutes later, Shepard forced herself to move and begin the ascent to the main floor of the Citadel. As soon as they got to the top of the ramp though, Shepard looked back to see one of Sovereign's claws flying straight towards them. She instantly grabbed the others and pushed them down the stairs leading up to the Council's room, ensuring their safety; hopefully.

A second later, it crashed into the tower.

**A/N: … Raegas died? … No way…**


	41. Rescued

**Disclaimer: Jeez, I've written way too many of these things… (I own only what I create, by the way)**

**Kachie Takahashi: Don't cry! Please, I have a serious weakness to tears! DX**

**BAMS: I hope your great grandma will be alright, buddy.**

**Sigma Castell: Gee, thanks. And that smut wasn't my idea! I didn't even really want to-… look, just pretend it never happened. Please? But really, a reaper? A reaper? What's wrong with you? XP**

**Hopelessly Blue: What makes you think I know what they say about the leading lady? I can say with some confidence that I have less experience in such things as 'rumors' and sayings (I don't like gossip and such; it bothers me when people talk about other people behind their backs if only to spread some rumor or something, you know? Not that I think you're like that, I was just… Nevermind). And you just had to use 'shmoopsie poo' before I could! You horrible person! Pumpkin butt!**

**Liege Lord: You can't believe it, huh? Me neither.**

**Mizul: I knew I'd hate mail for that chapter… **

**A/N: Looks like we're just about there, everyone! Let's get right to it!**

My eyes snapped open as I felt my heart suddenly pulsate in my chest, trying to steady itself and get back on its feet. My mouth opened and air rushed into my lungs as I breathed in desperately, seeking oxygen. My entire body was sore and locked up as I struggled to breathe properly.

Before I could really regain myself, I began coughing from the dryness in my throat the smoke around me. My eyes watered from it as well and I tried to move on my own but my body was still locked up.

Once I finally got a hold of myself, I took deep, steady breaths to stave off the pain. I could've sworn I had been crushed by the mako when we'd come out of the…

"Crap!" my hoarse voice groaned, as realization dawned on me. I looked around quickly to take in the situation, seeing I was still on the Citadel in- the middle of the attack no less.

I struggled to my knees and felt a wave of nausea hit me as I went light-headed. Okay; sudden movements were bad. Made sense, considering I probably just revived myself. It was a good thing it took a lot to kill a Vertoakan. Sometimes, when the damage was enough, the body would automatically go into a near-death state to heal. It was very similar to the coma state we went into but this was much more intensive and we, for all intents and purposes, were dead. With the coma we still had a sort of consciousness and such.

From what I could gather, I went into one of those near-death states and the others went ahead. Jasin must've forgotten about it or thought it was too much or something.

I looked to the wreckage of the mako.

But no one should've come back like I just did; the impact alone was enough to crush most of my bones but add in the part where the mako slammed into me and I shouldn't have come back no matter my species. Not to mention I could still move and since it hadn't been very long I suspected the Gavaek'Jaggx had something to do with it. If it was what helped in bringing me back then it was basically saying it didn't want to die. Given it would die if I were to, then it made sense.

Forcing myself to slowly stand, I took steadying breaths to make sure I wouldn't have some kind of reaction from strain or something. I had to help Shepard and the others before it got too bad. Besides, I was mad enough to take it out on whatever Geth they left behind. Not to mention I could try to help any civilians on the way and keep them from dying or something.

With my mind set, I began limping on my way.

…

"Help! Someone, please!" I paused in my hurried limping and looked around, trying to see where the voice was coming from. It sounded panicked at the very least and with my mood I doubted it would take much to provoke me.

Through the smoke it was too hard to see, so I might as well have counted my vision useless. Turning to my sense of smell, I raised my chin and took a deep breath through my nose, inhaling what I could. The excess of smoke I inhaled caused me to cough momentarily, but at least I got a heading to the panicked voice.

I rushed forward as fast as I could and pulled out my AR Shepard had handed to me before the mission back to the Citadel. Unfortunately, it was smashed into nothing more than an indescribable chunk of metal. I should've known what crushed me would've crushed the guns on my back too. Knowing this, I dropped the useless use-to-be AR and tried to activate my arm cannon. No luck. It must've gotten damaged too. Great.

Glancing around, I saw a jagged piece of scrap from a building. I figured I could use it for a knife or something, so I bent and grabbed it before heading toward the noises I'd heard.

I turned a corner and saw three Geth standing over two asari women with their weapons primed about thirty feet away. Before I knew what I was doing, I slipped halfway into a Bloodrage and vaulted forward, toward the Geth. They heard me coming and turned to me with their guns but somehow, I had already reached them in the span of those few seconds.

I jumped into the air and brandished the scrap-knife above my head, glaring down at the nearest Geth trooper. Before it could fire on me I swung down, utilizing my own weight, and sliced into it's head. Unfortunately, I got stuck and before I could pull it out the second Geth shot me. The bullet pinged off of my armor, giving me enough time to grip the first Geth's arm and throw it at the second Geth, sending them to the ground. By then, the third Geth had dropped it's weapon and pulled out a knife.

I smirked, knowing it considered me a threat even without a weapon. Still, it had the advantage with the knife and all. Who knew the Geth would carry knives anyway? I had thought they'd consider them "illogical to carry" or something.

The Geth lunged at me then, cutting of my train of thought and irritating me even more. I had to get to Shepard and this AI-with-legs was in my way. I gripped the Geth's arm with both hands and squeezed to keep a good grip before throwing it atop the other two Geth. Before they even had a chance at getting back up, I bent and grabbed the third Geth's AR. One of them looked right at me as I raised the gun, making 'loading screen' noises those old computers used to make. I shot each one in the head, putting them down, and then turned to the two asari on the ground.

I helped them up slowly, still being a little stiff from coming back to life and all. For some reason, they looked familiar to me; maybe I'd seen them before?

"Are you two okay?" I asked, controlling my Bloodrage. It was a good thing I'd only slightly slipped into one, so it was most likely only my eyes that were different. Other than the heightened energy in my body, of course.

"Y-yes, we are fine. Th-thank you for saving our lives." One answered, managing a faulty smile. I nodded to her and the other one before grabbing the Geth knife and starting back on my way. I knew I could stay and help them out but I had to get to Shepard before something bad happened.

"Oh, and make sure to keep out of sight and in a secure shelter; debris from ships may hit down here soon. Use those two rifles for protection if you need it." I called, jogging/limping away.

…

Turrets, another dropship, shields and lots of rockets. Great. I looked around and scanned the metal battlefield to get a lay of the land before rolling my shoulders. I needed to hurry up or these distractions would cost more lives.

"_Hey! Do you read? Is that you Raegas?"_ Joker's voice filtered into my ears suddenly, startling me a bit. At least my radio was still working. Mostly, anyway.

"Joker? What's going on?" I hissed, needing information.

"_You tell me! The Commander just ordered the fleet to save the Destiny Ascension. Shepard said you were dead, what gives?"_ he actually managed to sound annoyed and happy at the same time. I blew out a small smile and peeked around my cover to see the Geth were fanning out to look for me. They must've called reinforcements when they heard 'The Corruptor' was alive and kicking ass. Maybe I could still make it before Sovereign (AKA Nazara) was fully attacked by the fleet; if I could, then-  
><em>"Raegas!"<em> I jumped at the sudden yell and glared to nowhere in particular. I must've gotten lost in thought again.

"It's a bit of a story, you ornery prick! I'm a little busy here so why don't you concentrate on kicking ass up there and I'll take down here? Out." I said, before shutting off my radio. It was starting to go crazy anyway and with the Geth or sovereign jamming low power communications, I wouldn't be able to talk much longer anyway.

Now, to take on a mini army alone, with bad shields, no backup and lots of anger? That I could do.

…

"Go!" Shepard's voice hit me with a rushed tone, telling me I was too late. I had seen Sovereign's parts coming down on the Citadel just before I'd gotten to the inner courtyard.

Without a second thought, I increased my running speed as much as I could, leaning forward enough to have my face a foot from the ground. I ran so fast everything but the claw and Shepard were a blur. My body moved on its own, guiding me through the maze-like room with ease.

I jumped into the air a second before I ran into a bonfire, flying forward, toward Shepard and the falling claw. I could feel my body pushing itself past its apparent limits, but for Shepard, I had no limit; I would keep going until I got to her.

Landing on the ground at the top of the stairs once more, I jumped back up, pushing off as hard as I could to get more distance and speed. Reaching out my arms and stretching my body, I sailed through the air even faster. Just then, I finally got to Shepard before the debris could hit her. I wrapped my arms around her and turned in the air to cover her from getting hit by using myself as a shield.

Only an instant later, everything went black once more.

**A/N: I'm already hating on myself so there's no need to give me flame for being mean to Raegas or Shepard. Besides, I brought her back to life and stuff; that ought to get me points, right? I didn't really think so… **


	42. Goodbye

**Disclaimer: I only own whatever I create and shit. What, were you looking for me to say something funny? Maybe I'm not in the mood; ever think of that? Huh? Did ya? Didn't think so.**

**Kachie Takahashi: I knew that first sentence would save me some tears on your end, Kachie. Good thing I wrote that, eh? **

**Umbra8191: C'mon man, make a creative review; show your awesomeness through your words! Xo …Or just sit there and read this response to your review, blinking like that and making that face. Seriously: I know you must be a smart guy, right? So show us! But then, if you don't want to, that's alright as well; I like reading reviews and stuff, so yeah. Thanks!**

**Hopelessly Blue: Look B, I know you're not that kind of person; I just kind of felt like saying that for some reason, you know? And of course I knew you were poking fun at me. Just like you usually do. It's actually quite amusing, really. ;) And, my dear, I do believe I deserve more points than that! But then, I was the one who sort-of killed her and all, so… Putting that aside, I am happy to hear that you approve of her resurrection and all; I had thought to add in the scene of her epic fight against said army, but my hands kept typing- right to the Council's garden. Even so, I liked the part where she displayed her skizzles. And what is this I hear about you staying up so long? I know what it's like to have insomnia or whatever (since I have it) but you need your rest! I can't have you collapsing from exhaustion or getting hurt because of 'Somnia-Oversight', okay? ;-; Get rest, alright honey bunny?**

**BAMS: It's alright buddy, I got ya. Just take your time and breathe before straining yourself too much; trust me, I know what it's like. Besides, with strength comes courage to face the trials ahead, yeah? You got this.**

**Liege Lord: You made a good guess there, man. I am pretty sure they may be the said asari but you never know, right? Besides, who wants to know just what will happen for sure? Sometimes, surprises are what we need to keep interested in something. In other news… I'm not so sure if the council would make someone they don't even know or have a backstory on a Spectre. Then again, that could be what makes it funny. And who ever said anything about giving Cerberus points? Sure, they could get some for bringing her back but they're still assholes.**

**Mizul: I'm happy you approve. Given you like light twists I'm guessing you'll like what's going to happen soon. I hope, anyway. **

**A/N: Please bear with me through this mush, everyone…**

_One Week Later…_

"Ow!" Shepard grunted, twitching at the pain.

"Hold still!" Raegas sighed, struggling to replace Shepard's bandaging.

"Don't hurt so much and I will!" she retorted through clenched teeth. She twitched again as the last of the dirty bandage was pulled from her skin.

"Hold still and it won't!" Raegas countered, pulling out a new bandage and medical medi-gel. Shepard gave her a glare as she held her arm up, out of the way.

"Why are you so mean? I'm injured!" Shepard said indignantly, pouting. She knew she was acting like a child, but she didn't want to change bandages; her side hurt too much. The rib had fractured and the skin had been punctured by a chunk of metal, so it would naturally be sore. She was grateful to Raegas for saving her ass back on the Citadel when Sovereign's parts flew through the windows, but ever since, Raegas seemed to always be deep in thought. Shepard wasn't sure just what was so important that Raegas would be so preoccupied, but even so, she'd lost little attention from the woman. Something just seemed off…

Raegas looked up at her from her chair for a few moments, thought crossing her expression.

Before Shepard could ask what she was thinking about, Raegas took the medical medi-gel and squirted it into her mouth! Shepard hadn't had enough time to do anything or even react before Raegas leaned forward, right beside of Shepard's wound.

"What are you- aaaaahhh~" the almost sing-song breath escaped Shepard before she could hold it in as Raegas released the medi-gel from her mouth, slathering it over Shepard's wound with her tongue gently. The medi-gel was warm due to Raegas' mouth, her breath caressing Shepard's side as she ran her tongue over the wound.

The combination of Raegas' soft, soothing mouth and the warmed medi-gel, Shepard's side stopped hurting entirely, not even an ache remained. The area numbed slightly and Shepard breathed in deeply experimentally, shocked at finding that didn't hurt either. Raegas pulled back and wiped her mouth free of remnants of the medi-gel with a small smile. The Commander had to remind herself of the natural healing agents in Vertoakan saliva before she even thought of a reply.

"There, you big baby. A kiss to make it better." She said, finishing putting on the bandages as well. Shepard couldn't help the blush that engulfed her cheeks as she felt her heart quicken, pounding on her chest. She watched Raegas stand and put away the rest of the medical supplies, unable to keep her gaze from trailing down her perfectly curved body to her perfect ass. Shepard was a bit jealous, honestly.  
>"What, is there something on my ass?" Shepard's gaze snapped up to see Raegas was looking at her, managing to look actually curious. Then, she looked down at herself confusedly. "I don't see anything…" she muttered. Shepard chuckled and shook her head a bit. She'd always loved the cluelessness, or more accurately, innocence in Raegas. Then again, she loved everything about her.<p>

"I was just staring. I'm a bit jealous, you know…" Shepard admitted, knowing Raegas would figure it out eventually anyway. Said woman looked back up at Shepard, a glare in her eyes as she walked up to Shepard, stopping only inches from her. Raegas poked a finger at Shepard and narrowed her eyes slightly.

"Now, you listen here, Shepard; there's nothing to be jealous about. If anything, I'm jealous of you!" she stated, the passion in her eyes speaking only the truth. Shepard wrapped her arms around Raegas' neck and rested them there, smirking inquisitively.

"And why would you be jealous of me?" Shepard asked curiously, staring into Raegas' enchanting violet eyes.

"I can't answer that without getting unbearably mushy, so just accept it." Raegas grumbled, pushing Shepard away so she could sit back in her chair. She crossed her legs and arms, intent on just staring at the ground.

"Now I really want to know." Shepard said, smirking mischievously. Raegas looked further away and glared at nothing in particular.

"No." she said simply. Shepard leaned forward, still smiling.

"Come on, tell me." She cooed, noting the way Raegas glanced everywhere as if looking for an escape route.

"No." she repeated, refusing to look at Shepard. Said Commander scooted a bit closer and leaned down, capturing Raegas' arm. She pulled her to stand in front of her, uncrossing her arms, and snaking her own around Raegas.

"Please?" Shepard tried once more, leaning into Raegas' ear and whispering it.

"Fine, just stop that!" Raegas finally caved in and once Shepard pulled back, she saw she was blushing. So, she found Raegas' weakness! Finally!

Said woman sighed, catching Shepard's attention once more, and looked at her momentarily before closing her eyes.  
>"<em>Her eyes are my emerald sky,<em>

_Her smile my very breath._

_She gives me something I cannot deny,_

_Nor ever will, to my very death…_

_Her hair shines bright, my very own stars,_

_Her arms are my world, her heart my soul._

_Her love heals my scars_

_All that I am, she has stole."_

As Raegas finished, she opened her eyes, blushing lightly. Shepard found herself speechless for the first time in a long time, unable to find what to say. What _could _she say? Raegas' words penetrated deep into her heart and warmed her from the inside, her love for Raegas overwhelming her.

"Yeah, I came up with that a little while ago…" Raegas muttered, embarrassed. Shepard wrapped her arms around Raegas' neck and pulled her in for a fiery kiss. She responded, although taken off guard, and opened her mouth to Shepard, snaking her arms around the Commander's waist gently.

Once they parted, they let their foreheads rest against each other's, catching their breath. Shepard had had no idea Raegas could be so eloquent, let alone romantic, but she certainly liked it. Shepard was definitely going to write that poem down later, so she'd never forget it. Just in case.

"How did you come up with that? It's so romantic." Shepard cooed, nuzzling Raegas' neck. Said woman laid her head against Shepard's and let out a breath.

"It just came to me. The truth is usually something easy to come up with, you know…" she answered, causing another spike of joy to ramp through Shepard.

_This is how she feels about me…?_ She thought, taken by surprise at how deep and complex Raegas' feelings and emotions were. It gave Shepard an all-new appreciation for having her at her side, feeling the way she did.

…

The next morning, Shepard and I decided to go up to the CIC and check out what we had to do. Oddly enough, we discovered a new planet previously undiscovered and said, 'hey; let's check it out'.

I had a strange feeling about the place, but I decided to go anyway. In fact, Shepard allowed the whole away team to attend because last time she took everyone, she found me. With that line of thinking, Shepard was getting delusions of treasure or some super relic that would do something amazing.

Honestly, I just wanted to get away from this place; I felt… odd about going down there.

…

The whole time I had been there, I'd been feeling a pulling or sucking sensation in the pit of my stomach. It was like some unknown force was trying to suck me in or some such. Maybe I was just being paranoid, but even so, I felt as if this place was familiar somehow. Maybe I'd been there at some time?

"_Hey Raega, you in there?"_ my head snapped up at the familiar voice, and I couldn't believe my eyes. There, not five feet away from me, was… my father. I blinked a few times, but he didn't disappear. I rubbed my eyes and shook my head, but he stayed in place, just smiling his big smile with his arms crossed.

"Father…?" I managed. He burst out in laughter and stepped forward. He dropped his large hand on mine, and I felt the weight push it down! What was going on?

"_You can't run from your destiny forever, Rae-"_

"-gas! Raegas!" suddenly, I had the feeling of dropping back into my own body and my eyes blinked several times, refocusing as I came back to myself fully. I realized tears were in my eyes and I realized what I saw was nothing but a distant memory. My gaze came to Shepard's worried one and stared blankly for a few moments before I remembered what was happening.

"Oh, sorry Shepard, I… That was strange." I muttered, letting her wipe my tears away.

"What was it? One minute you're looking at something, the next, you're blanked out and not responding." She said quietly, that worried gaze, not wavering from mine.

"I remembered something is all… My father brought me here one day…" I sniffed, my voice more gentle than it was supposed to be. Shepard wrapped me into a tight embrace for a few moments before letting me go. I looked into her eyes for a few moments and set my mind; I had to tell her about the Normandy's destruction before something bad happened. Especially since I felt like I had little time to do so…  
>"Look Shepard, something-… something bad happens to the Normandy a few weeks from now…" I started, the change of subject confusing her.<p>

"What are you saying, Rae…?" she asked quietly, furrowing her brows.

"I haven't told you until now for a reason, but I feel like I have to now… See, some enemies are going to appear not one month from now and-" I was cut off by a sudden jerk in my gut, the force of it causing me to flinch.

Immediately, the pull on me increased several fold. The air grew heavy and what looked like a tear in the fabric of space/time itself appeared, not twenty feet away. Its enormous gravitational pull grabbed at us, beginning to drag us nearer to it. Everyone tried to get away, and some did, but the Ulaeviel, even Ciria, was caught, along with me, Shepard and my sisters.

I looked around frantically, but couldn't see anything to grab onto, then noticed Liara and Garrus get caught.

My mind went into overdrive, and I knew what I had to do. I didn't want it to happen this way, but if it was for Shepard, then I'd do anything I had to. I suppose I just didn't have the time left to warn her, huh?

Quickly, I grabbed Shepard's waist and spun around to gain momentum.

Once I had enough, I let go, throwing her as far as I could, hitting Garrus in the process and sending them both flying back. Luckily, they made it out of the gravitational pull of the tear. Unluckily, the throwing momentum threw me backwards, toward the tear; I wasn't going to be able to escape.

I lowered myself as low as I could to the ground as the pull dragged me along, trying to stall for time. The others that had been caught were sucked into it and whisked away to wherever it was taking them. I looked up and saw Shepard's expression of horror as she tried to run to me, to try and save me as well, but Wrex held her back, knowing she'd just get caught as well. I managed a small forgiving smile, getting their attention.

"I will find you…" I whispered. As I saw her expression, I knew she had heard me. Not with her ears, but with her heart. Her mind.

An instant later, I too was sucked in and my vision went black.

…

**One Month Later…**

Shepard stared at the picture on her desk, her eyes empty and her expression blank. Shepard ran her fingers lightly over Raegas' smiling face, a feeling of pain overtaking her. She had felt lost and empty ever since Raegas and the others vanished into some kind of wormhole a month before.

She knew Raegas was still alive; she felt it. She just had no idea where she was…

"_I will find you…" _the last words Raegas spoke to her. Shepard had no doubt in her mind that they would be reunited one day, but… when would that day come?

…

"Shepard, Joker won't leave the cockpit! I'm not leaving either!" Ashley yelled, trying to put out the flames surrounding them. Shepard shook her head to herself.

_Is this what you tried to tell me, Raegas?_ She pushed the thought away and turned to the Chief.

"Get out of here! I'll take care of Joker." Shepard called.

"…Aye, aye." At that, Ash ran out, towards the escape pods. Shepard ran through the burning ship as fast as she could, intent on getting there and surviving.

She was going to see Raegas again! She had to.

**A/N: I know I rushed this one and I could've chopped it in half but I wanted to get the end over with. Not to mention I couldn't stop typing and it's getting late and all.**


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